EPHRA v6 (non-binding journal, do not follow ;) )

[Have at ye]

I personally preferred hybrid to ultrasonic because I could feel the sub working more viscerally, with wonky sensations and all that. I do not get such on ultrasonic, I only get funky dreams which I remember less vividly.

[London1]

Are you currently listening to hybrid with earbuds?

[Have at ye]

No, I stopped because my phone was crapping out on me incessantly or someone would call while I was listening, so now I'm doing ultraosnic from my laptop speakers.

I might switch back to hybrid through earbuds/headphones, though. I'll consider it.

[Have at ye]

I just switched back to hybrid but on my laptop, currently feeling good. Foobar says -25dB volume. I'll keep up with this unless I start getting noise complaints from my overly sensitive neighbors again.

[London1]

I just switched back to hybrid but on my laptop, currently feeling good. Foobar says -25dB volume. I'll keep up with this unless I start getting noise complaints from my overly sensitive neighbors again.

How many hours are you doing

Also I just noticed you have 2024 posts ; )

[Have at ye]

Now I have 2025!

I'd rather not disclose the number of loops I'm doing TBH.

So after the switch back to hybrid, I noticed an increase in wonky sensations (around my right leg mostly) and then after some time I actually started getting a bit of a headache and got slightly nauseous, but it passed soon thereafter and now I'm feeling fine. I think I'll skip singing practice today, though, because I'm meeting my analyst and I won't be able to fit it all in.

I have some ignots in the fire, probably will be joining a musical project (a non-profit one, but for a good cause - as I define good causes at least, haha) and am on the lookout for info on when that recording I did last week is going to premiere to garner some fame points over social media.

[Have at ye]

The wonky sensations passed, as did all resistance-related nausea and headaches and all, I did have very vivid dreams yet again though (the dreams weren't as vivid as when I was running ultrasonic). My ex figured in them.

I have a bumble-date tonight (my first ever date from a dating app), I'm a little nervous because I've not been on a date in, I dunno, six years or so. But I'm not emotionally invested so it'll probably be chill, we'll see.

[Have at ye]

The date went okay-ish, nothing to write home about; we didn't get on like crazy or anything. We did see a nice movie, though. The lady said she's going to write me again, so that's nice.

I've come to some conclusions regarding resistance symptoms, as they appear in my case sometimes. But EHPRA v6 is pretty much smooth sailing, especially for a healing sub. On hybrid I'm getting very vivid dreams - they were less so on ultrasonic, as noted previously. Continuing. 2 more months to go, I might go for 3 more months. Then I think I'll do OGSF for some more of that trauma removal, and guilt and shame removal (it's only 6 months per run-through, so it should pass swiftly).

Waiting on news when that radio audition is going to air; I'm totally milking it for all the fame points I can get out of it, get some momentum going in the singing biz for a change. Otherwise preparing to make a recording to send out to auditions and the like, I have until the end of the month to make one.

[Have at ye]

I felt bad today for a spell, was tempted to overeat even - but I didn't. Instead, I took a nap (a pretty long one) and now I feel better. Had wonky dreams as usual.

[Have at ye]

I confronted a friend today about a thing I heard them brag about doing (a rather icky thing), I did it pretty publically, the person stated I must have misheard or misunderstood, I am taking their word for it. I was gearing up for this confrontation for quite some time, though. Now I'm worried that I'm going to lose friends or their respect because of this confrontation. Hopefully I won't, but we'll see.

Wonky dreams are continuing. Due to the stress with the above situation I overate a tad today, even got some ice cream, pah. Now my mind is racing - too bad my analyst is on vacation, I could really use a session to gather my thoughts and feelings. Oh well!

I do have some new friends, though, which is nice and gives me some peace of mind that even should I loose some friends, I'll still have human contact and company (outside of my immediate family).

I'm liking EHPRA, I do get moments of ups and downs, but that's probably because I'm running hardcore with hybrid and more loops than prescribed, so maybe for others it's going to be even more smooth sailing.

Can't wait to see what 6G can do!

[Have at ye]

Darn it, I could really use talking things through with someone right about now. I've been communicating as much as I can with as many people as were avaialable, over forums and with my new buddies on Discord, but I've got an avalanche of *thoughts* coming this way. I used to have it worse (probably one of the reasons I ended up with a psychotic episode - not enough people to talk to in confidence, about all aspects of my life, including subliminals and stuffies and thingies and traumas and others things - I do talk about them with my analyst, though. She's taken a bit of an interest even in this stuff!), so I'll probably cope, but it's tiresome TBH.

And it'll be at least 20-odd days before my analyst is back. Darn it!

Oh well. I have a party today where I'll end up meeting the people I confronted, and they seem chill for now, but we'll see. Probably this worry about the consequences of confronting - which I *have* to do, else I'll go *insane* again - even when I'm in the wrong (because you won't know until you confront, and even then you can't be really sure - it's word against word, perception against perception).

[London1]

What is this analyst and what do they do?

[Have at ye]

My psychotherapist. I prefer the term "analyst" because she specializies in psychoanalytic psychotherapy. We talk about stuff, she helps me analyze it.

[Have at ye]

I slept it off, decided not to attend a party, going to a metal gig next week. I feel better now. I had wonky dreams as usual.