Unmessing Up My Mind, Heart, and Spirit - EPHRA 5.11G

[Ampersnd]

Day 114,

Did I mention that my singing, especially my ability to belt, has improved significantly in the past 2-3 weeks?
A suspicion I have is that my self-concept has finally allowed me to hit the higher notes and actually believe that I am a good singer.
In the past 12 months, I would hit a peak, then I would fall sick before I could really hit a breakthrough. Then, I would recover, and the cycle would repeat itself, usually every two months.
This time, I've broken through in the usable range I have available to me.

I've also taken on a two-step cleaning and disinfecting process for my common surfaces. In my office, I had been only dusting, which doesn't make it sanitary. In the kitchen, I went straight to sanitizing, which would probably mix in with the dust and not do a complete job. Also, a three-day fast, done every two months, might be a sufficient immune booster. Sleep has gone to crap in the last week, so I need to stay on top of that.

[Ampersnd]

Day 139,
Deciding if I want to pull the plug a few days early. Things are going well with this subliminal. It's the absence of a negative that I'm feeling, which gives me the space to try things and get positive results.

My life is basically one grey blur, but I'm getting things done. Ive wanted to run Ultra Success but I'm intrigued about Self-Development, though it seems more general.

Motivation for my goals strikes me as more important than a general increase in well being.

[Ampersnd]

Day 146,

I'm going through another rough patch; when trying to sleep, I'm tense, can't fall asleep, and can't sleep in much this weekend.
I've almost completed my second draft for my book; it's taken me 28 calendar days, and 18 actual writing days, which is unbelievably fast compared to my previous books. Draft 1 took three months, and 48 actual writing days, and the project has reached 166K words. I expect to have a polished manuscript by the end of August. Writing on the topic of manipulation has given me inner peace, some foresight, and the ability to "let go" of a lot of the lingering frustrations I've held on to for a while.

I've taken an interest in really cleaning up my home, car, and possession; to master my domain

[Ampersnd]

Day 149,

I've had the desire to get back to dating these last few days.
However, I'm halfway embarrassed to put myself back out there again, which is interesting because I haven't had those feelings for the past 6-7 years since I used to put myself out there.
I will be jumping into OGSF after hitting day 170 on this program.

I'm assuming that the work from this program has removed some superficial layer of guardedness; that's probably what "protected" me from feeling too embarrassed back then. Also, I used to be driven by the desire to get women to prove something to myself and to others. Now, I don't care as much.
I feel that I can be more sincere and candid no matter what.

[Ampersnd]

I realize that the instructions say 7 months; I must have misread that and assumed 170 days after some time.
So that makes 210 days, meaning that I'll finish up on August 30th, 2024.

I'm confused about why all of OGSF exists inside of EHPRA, but it's still recommended to run OGSF after EHPRA.

[Have at ye]

Well, probably because it's not the same thing - it's the 5G version of OGSF updated, it doesn't have all the bells and whistles of the OGSF v. New program, which includes, among other things, a couple of fear removal modules and a trauma removal module.

[Frosted]

I’m also guessing that OGSF in E6 is tuned to overcome blockages concerning the goals of the program. It probably doesn’t have the same effect and scope as the standalone. Could be wrong though.

[NOMAD]

I'm confused about why all of OGSF exists inside of EHPRA, but it's still recommended to run OGSF after EHPRA.

It's because OGSF focuses all your subconscious firepower on OGSF instead of diluting that firepower across the additional goals of E6.

Edit: I  see that this has been answered elsewhere and that there are angles I hadn't considered (i.e. later tech).

[Ampersnd]

Day 158,

I've had a mini-epiphany about why some stand-up comedians suck and others always hit the mark.
Watch this segment of Kill Tony: https://youtu.be/ZgHR4ug866Q?si=HoanHLXH87yyH8uw&t=1326

They bring up this walk-on, who cycles through a bunch of material for a minute; trouble is that you have no idea where he's going.
It's crude and it has a bunch of random derivatives and spin-offs.
Then, the panelists - who are dressed up like Trump and Biden - just spit out gold each line.

The difference is that the walk-on is too scared to commit to embodying a character; I'll explain why that matters in a moment.

This is why 'tactics' and conversational gambits usually don't work; they wind up getting duct-taped onto someone who is fragmented and doesn't know what they're trying to portray to a live audience.
This isn't even about being "transparent" or "authentic"; it's about putting something definite out in front of an audience, regardless of fear of judgment.

Here's why having a character matters in comedy, even if it's a character close to who *you* are in day-to-day life:
Characters have a clear motive; they don't always need to state their motive, but the audience will be able to pick up on it if you are smart about your choice of statements and jokes.

The problem is that a clear motive can get shot down. Motive can be mocked and picked at. Motive polarizes and galvanizes. Motive creates enemies.
All of that rejection can sting.

If you're struggling with shame, guilt or fear, then it will be nearly impossible to stand firm behind this character or the character's motives, and you'll likely slip in validation-seeking behaviors and flip-flop; this will come across as inconsistent.
The audience will be scratching their heads and wonders: "what is this guy about?"
A comedian sees that and assumes: "maybe I just need to do more. Random! Loud! Vulgar!"
Because their confusing inconsistencies got a few chuckles, they figure that more blatant inconsistencies will get even more chuckles.

With the Trump character in the video, Shane Gillis always redirects random conversational threads back to electioneering; it's funny because that is what Trump would do.
Even when someone is indirect in their choice of words, if there's a clear motive behind it, it can be funny to hear them bungle the logical steps to actualize their motive.
That's why the Trump and Biden characters can make statements that also seem "random," but they're in fact very intelligent callbacks to their motives, and the audience will remember the character's motive, connect it back to this "random" statement, and see the comedy in it.

All of the other elements - voices, accents, comedic timing, loudness, vulgarities - are ways to enhance the illusion of the character and motive; you keep the façade going by handling those. You use these frills to preserve funny, not "build" it.

[Ampersnd]

Day 165,

Oh no! I'm actually feeling way more emotions than usual.
It's not negative emotions, but it's feelings like compassion, anticipation, a longing for intimacy.
Been away from dating and sex for most of the past year; I'm wondering if this is what it was meant to culminate to.

Have been writing a lot of my book content about self-protection, but I need to make sure that the advice doesn't give the final impression to guard your own heart against all risk.
I've dropped a lot of pre-conceptions that I held at the start of my first draft in April; by draft three (this month) I dropped a lot of it, but not all.
Today, I'm preparing draft #4 and I'll be rewording certain things.

I'm almost starting to get negative consequences from it.
It's funny that my approach "anxiety" is basically back, but it's taken a different form. I used to - even last year - not give any care and just throw myself at the approach, which was probably some form of emotional numbness where I'd bring her too much too fast.
Now that I'm 32 and I have a few gray beard hairs showing, and this new heart-openness feeling, I'd almost be embarrassed to walk up and introduce myself, even to a woman my age, given how exposed I'm feeling; it's almost like my romantic or sexual desires are these fragile things I have to keep hidden.

[Frosted]

I feel a similar sense of vulnerability emerging. I think it’s parts of myself that aren’t fully healed and integrated yet. Kind of like a hard dead tree that’s hard to damage has gotten some nutrients and nurturing and has begun to soften and grow into a healthy tree and yet isn’t strong like a fully grown and healthy tree yet.

[Ampersnd]

Day 169,

I believe that the goal of emotional healing for this subliminal has been successful.
Feels like I've woken up from some sort of trance; I'll give more information about that in a review.

However, the OGSF portion is still in progress; with that, I will follow Shannon's advice to continue with OGSF v2.
I might break protocol and finish with this subliminal on day 180.

[Ampersnd]

Day 176,

I paused my subscription to EHPRA yesterday. Will be officially finished on day 180.
I'm feeling an anxiousness in my gut; I think that it's sinking in that I'll be doing OGSF and I'm anticipating the start of that.
I believe that a lot of my hangups today are due to shame, or a conscious fear of embarrassment caused by harsh judgment.

[Frosted]

I look forward to your review. Good luck on OGSF2!