Money Magnet Adventures and Random Musings

[Have at ye]

Heck, I was listening to my loop and got a call and the playback, of course, paused and I forgot about it. So I'm listening to my loop now, to get a full one in. It's why prefered to listen from my laptop, but that was before the instructions became more specific.

I think I felt the grounding shield projecting a little bit. Feeling kinda down right now but I'm gonna get some work in done today. Purchased gym supplies finally.

[Have at ye]

So I've listened to my loop for the day.

Still getting in a trickle of translation jobs, nothing new as of yet on the financial/jobs front.

There's a part of me that considers myself a really wicked, evil person for reasons I will not go into here, and thus is guilt-ridden and this is directly related to my ED problems which have escalated after my psychotic break (although TBH I wouldn't know as I've stopped masturbating and have no sexual partners right now, but my libido feels flat. I do get the occasional morning wood or a chubby when I think of something arousing but it's not a full erection). I need to do something about this; perhaps some EPHRA would do me good (I'm already in therapy).

One thing that happened is I got attacked by some crazy guy who got it in his mind I'm "a snitch" and that I've snitched on him (I didn't. I'm an anarchist, I don't go to the cops, lol. Besides my experience tells that my local police is not to be trusted). He got physical, but I merely deflected his blows and waited for him to leave which he did after a while. Haven't seem him since but it seems to me like he's observing me (lives somewhere nearby). I occasionally have to face degenerates like that because they're somehow aggressive towards me for no reason, maybe except the fact that I'm a big guy and a little bit on the intimidating side. Hopefully he'll leave me alone, if he does not - I will do what's necessary to protect myself. I can't find my pepper spray, though, borrowed another can from my brother. Don't know whether the grounding shield helped here or not.

[dragonslayer]

So I've listened to my loop for the day.

Still getting in a trickle of translation jobs, nothing new as of yet on the financial/jobs front.

There's a part of me that considers myself a really wicked, evil person for reasons I will not go into here, and thus is guilt-ridden and this is directly related to my ED problems which have escalated after my psychotic break (although TBH I wouldn't know as I've stopped masturbating and have no sexual partners right now, but my libido feels flat. I do get the occasional morning wood or a chubby when I think of something arousing but it's not a full erection). I need to do something about this; perhaps some EPHRA would do me good (I'm already in therapy).

One thing that happened is I got attacked by some crazy guy who got it in his mind I'm "a snitch" and that I've snitched on him (I didn't. I'm an anarchist, I don't go to the cops, lol. Besides my experience tells that my local police is not to be trusted). He got physical, but I merely deflected his blows and waited for him to leave which he did after a while. Haven't seem him since but it seems to me like he's observing me (lives somewhere nearby). I occasionally have to face degenerates like that because they're somehow aggressive towards me for no reason, maybe except the fact that I'm a big guy and a little bit on the intimidating side. Hopefully he'll leave me alone, if he does not - I will do what's necessary to protect myself. I can't find my pepper spray, though, borrowed another can from my brother. Don't know whether the grounding shield helped here or not.

Hi @Have at ye, what language do you do translation work in?

[Have at ye]

I work between English and Polish, so there's a lot of competition.

[Have at ye]

Just got an offer from a chick I studied singing with to perform a couple of concerts with her, paid gigs. Neat! Hopefully this pans out.

I also have several leads on translation work, gotta perform translation tests well and then hopefully they'll become solid clients.

In my dreams, it seems that my subconscious is in a belief-struggle that success, for me, does not have to be a struggle. This belief has come down upon me because I've been treated like crap in primary school/junior high and then later when I was studying singing (the dreams are related to stage work and working with this director I've known for years, have always done my job right, but never had her recommend me further even though she keeps doing so for other people who are not as proficient at what we do as I am).

[Have at ye]

Feeling pretty good, all things considered. The sub is slowly making me more optimistic about things, I think a lot of it is related to PTPA. Haven't had any major money-related manifestations yet, but hoping they'll come in time (even sorta beginning to *expect* them to happen). In the meantime doing my thing, translating stuff when I have jobs, trying to take it easy the rest of the time.

Singing practice is going really well. Just need to iron out some technical issues with high notes and I should be good to go to try to sell myself out there.

My current plan is 3 to 6 months of Money Magnet, then Hormone Optimization for Weight Loss, then I'm going to try Overcome Erectile Dysfunction, either the 5g one that's currently available or a 5.11G one if Shannon decides to work on it in the near future. I've had a lot of success with DMSI, lots of reactions and attraction and such, but I think that I was being held back by my fear of erectile dysfunction acting up and my libido is still kinda low. It's probably mostly a mental issue since I've had ED issues even when I was young and horny as hell all the time, and my libido went down to zero some time after my psychotic episode. Hopefully a sub will help with that.

[Have at ye]

Huh. This, as they say, "trashy-hot" young cashier from a store I buy almost daily from, and turns out is my neighbor (didn't know that) just complained to me that this guy that nearly attacked me some time ago (and has been a nuisance afterwards. I've been repeatedly telling him to f---- off and he's f---- off these past several days, and hopefully it'll stay that way) has been harassing her, stalking her even, and banging on her door at night (she's unfortunate enough to live right next door to him). Told her to let me know if he doesn't bugger off. We might have a problem here.

Apparently, he's been going around bragging that he "beat me up", lol. Boy, do I hate people like that.

Well, at least I made a friend. Always good to know your neighbors!

[Have at ye]

Been feeling a little bit worse lately, something of a comeback of the "I'm a loser" mentality. It seems like my internal belief system is engaged in a tug-of-war with reality: the fact that I'm currently pretty deep on the, let's call it, "failure spectrum" externally is bearing down on me again. Let's see what comes of it. Hopefully I'll start manifesting good things soon.

Had some friendly banter with that hot little cashier again, she starts the interactions. Also another cashier, from a bakery I regularly buy yummy sandwiches at, is being very nice, even asked whether I'd like her to save some of the sandwiches for later (they sell out fast), nice. Another neighbor (this time an older woman) just approached me and gave me a bagful of fresh cucumbers out of the blue, lol.

That pesky ex-con guy has been leaving me alone recently, let's hope it stays that way, and that he'll leave the hot little cashier alone as well.

[Shannon]

Sounds like someone is fighting for the status quo in your mind. Fortunately, that only means that there's something it has to fight in order to try to stop the change that will happen. The question is, can it? And since you have a wide variety of options and it does not, the answer is... no. It cannot.

[ncbeareatingman]

Sounds like someone is fighting for the status quo in your mind.  Fortunately, that only means that there's something it has to fight in order to try to stop the change that will happen.  The question is, can it?  And since you have a wide variety of options and it does not, the answer is... no.  It cannot.

 MM is one Badass Mofo...wielding its sword and shied....its a GPS with a vengence !!

[Have at ye]

Been feeling a little bit worse lately, something of a comeback of the "I'm a loser" mentality. It seems like my internal belief system is engaged in a tug-of-war with reality: the fact that I'm currently pretty deep on the, let's call it, "failure spectrum" externally is bearing down on me again. Let's see what comes of it. Hopefully I'll start manifesting good things soon.

Had some friendly banter with that hot little cashier again, she starts the interactions. Also another cashier, from a bakery I regularly buy yummy sandwiches at, is being very nice, even asked whether I'd like her to save some of the sandwiches for later (they sell out fast), nice. Another neighbor (this time an older woman) just approached me and gave me a bagful of fresh cucumbers out of the blue, lol.

That pesky ex-con guy has been leaving me alone recently, let's hope it stays that way, and that he'll leave the hot little cashier alone as well.

Sounds like someone is fighting for the status quo in your mind.  Fortunately, that only means that there's something it has to fight in order to try to stop the change that will happen.  The question is, can it?  And since you have a wide variety of options and it does not, the answer is... no.  It cannot.

Someone - as in a part of me, or another person? I assume some more or less unconcious part.

Anyroad, I did man up finally and sent out a CV in German in response to a chorus job offer over there at a big institution (they pay good money over there). I've been meaning to start doing it once I've gotten my singing back on track, so I'm doing so. Let's see whether they're willing to let me audition! Pretty much my only worry is that my German is somewhat rusty - I've had German classes from junior high to high school, but I've not been using the language at all except to play the Gothic games in their original language, haha.

[Shannon]

Someone - as in a part of me, or another person? I assume some more or less unconcious part.

I was referring to "someone inside you".  Not of a "conscious" persuasion is likely.

[Have at ye]

Had some interesting dreams these past two nights. One was related to fears and anxieties related to singing work, the other one was related to fears and anxieties related to sex. I woke up feeling a little bit disturbed after each dream.

Otherwise things are slow, but I did get an offer for some translation work from this girl who's been sending jobs my way every now and again over the past few years, so that's nice. I'm avaialable, won't mind the work, won't mind the money.

[Have at ye]

The chick who offered me singing gigs with her just got back to me and wants to meet in-person to discuss the deets. So I guess we're doing it. Neat!

Otherwise still translating stuff whenever I get jobs, been sleeping a lot (because it's kinda hot around here, I prefer cooler weather), listening to MM, losing a little bit of weight (but it's slow going, I'm totally trying HOWL after MM).