EP's UH (Universal Healing) Journal

[Z-Man]

So.... it's been a bit. And a lot of stuff has happened that I didn't want to write about (either due to the rules of the site prohibiting certain subjects, feeling like there was too much to report, or both) but I've been making progress, bit by bit, slowly but surely. But tonight, I think I had a breakthrough as to why I'm having such a hard time letting my resentment over the cruel way I was friend dumped: I don't truly believe I deserve better. I know I do, but I don't truly believe it.

That's some tough shit to have to face, because going easier on myself is easier said than done. I am... hard on myself in a lot of ways. Maybe because I've internalized so much criticism as a child. And an adolescent. And as a young adult. And now as a grown man in his thirties. Still getting criticism from people close to me instead of love or understanding, still internalizing it, still angry about it and still having a chip on my shoulder. Because I don't really view myself better than that. I feel like if I can clear that and let go of that, I can get A LOT out of my way and manifest a lot of stuff I want in life.

It ties back to one of the things that had happened recently: My friend who is into very niche subjects in regards to energy did an energy reading and chakra diagnostic when I said I had a hard time being disciplined about my music or something like that in a convo. She said that a lot of my blockages related to some deeply rooted traumas surrounding my mother, that I know who I am deep down but don't feel worthy. She said it's corny but that what I needed was love.
She said I could access an energetic white healing current that is inherently Yin oriented energetically and carries an "unconditional love" aspect to it, similar to the green ray energy of the Anahata. She calls it Amvara.

I have found some degree of success in my endeavors to access such energy and use it to heal the parts of me wounded from childhood wounds. Still, it seems such things only go so far. I do not have the same gifts as her nor have I disciplined myself to achieving anywhere near the same abilities as her when it comes to working with such energy.
So even with all that, and this sub, I still have stuff to work on and I guess tonight just pointed to a major blockage which my friend was telling me about: a feeling of unworthiness.

It's definitely a lot to process because I'm not sure how to handle it. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques might help, but I feel such help is limited because it only goes so deep. I am skeptical of how much it really does to affect the unconscious mind. And my exfriend swears by CBT and yet isn't nearly as healed nor as evolved or mature or compassionate as she thinks she is and presents herself as being. So I doubt it'll be enough, though still worth adding.

Beyond that, there's meditation, which I still struggle with. The Gateway of Light meditation technique is still the best one I know of for me. So that's typically what I do. Maybe the strengthening of my "Unified field" as another friend I have calls it (through this meditative technique) the prerequisite energy needed for reaching deeper levels of awareness can be built up and so more answers and solutions can be found.

There is another I was told about which can help push energy up the chakras. I forget exactly what it is but might be able to find the convo I had in private messages on Messenger.

Then, there's certain movements I have learned about which can help unblock the flow of energy through the body. Perhaps I should looks and see which of these is most conducive to my situation.

That's mostly where I'm at for now.

Hello EvolvingPhoenix I am glad you received a breakthrough. A state of clarity and awareness is the first step. I don't know if you are interested, but there is a programs that works on building a healthy relationship with yourself and works on all that inner child work. It is free you can go in person or thru zoom or phone.

I will post it here for you:

https://licoda.org/meetings.html
https://coda.org

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'll check it out. Thanks man

[Z-Man]

I'll check it out. Thanks man

Hey if you don't mind me asking where are you from and how old are you?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I'm 32. I lived the first like, 30-31 years of my life in Tampa, Florida but recently moved to Ogden, Utah. Why? Just curious?

[Z-Man]

I'm 32. I lived the first like, 30-31 years of my life in Tampa, Florida but recently moved to Ogden, Utah. Why? Just curious?

I was just curious. You are lucky you found these subliminal program so young. They are pretty powerful stuff.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Right on! Thanks man!

Anyway, I'd just like to clarify something. There are factors involved in my healing journey experiences that I can only reference vaguely at best, due to a caution to be within the bounds of site rules. I don't want to give the false impression that everything I'm talking about here is 100% the subliminal doing everything. There are things I'm reading, videos I'm watching, medicines I'm occasionally making use of and personal experiences I'm having (as well as intentions I'm setting) that are extremely and deeply personal and subjective enough to be stuff I have to keep VERY vague when mentioning my experiences and progress. They are very important factors, but have to be alluded to mostly, rather than outright stated or talked about in detail.

I say this, because I DON'T want to give an inaccurate impression that the subliminal itself is all of it and there are no other factors. Though the subliminal probably affects ALL those factors quite heavily.

That's all I'm gonna say. I won't go into detail. I just want to make sure people don't get an inaccurate impression, because that might cause them to make purchasing decisions from a place of misunderstanding. I don't want to mislead anyone.


I say this because it has been brought to my awareness that some people have been getting inaccurate understanding of what I'm getting at in my journal. To an extent. So I just want to clarify this in order to clear things up as best as possible within the boundaries of what this site prescribes. 

That's all.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I have a theory I've been mulling over in the past hour or so, born of ideas kind of forming over the course of years with increasing momentum. It's just a theory, but it might be worth considering quite heavily. The theory is this:

The real reason why we find things such as nofap and celibacy to be so difficult isn't just because we are uncomfortable and because we get horny. It goes deeper than that. The feelings of desire are increasingly intense under such situations and the contrast between desiring someone/something on one hand and the belief that we cannot have what it is that we desire is painful. Therefor we try to release this desire as quick as possible in order to return to a placid state, where our feelings are less intense, uncomfortable and painful. The root issue to this might simply be the decision to believe, on a deep unconscious level that we cannot have what we want, for this reason or that reason. But it's just a belief. And beliefs are decisions first and beliefs consequently.

Therefor, the decision to change begins with the decision to change the belief. It's important to do more than just ell ourselves we can have what we desire, but to choose to truly believe ourselves. This means letting go of old schemas and self imposed limitations which may have at one point served a useful purpose but now only serve to create unnecessary and undesirable resistance to the fulfillment of desire.

What if, upon changing this fundamental faulty belief which is, at it's core, untrue, we find that such intense desire (and the intensity of feeling that comes with it) is now enjoyable to experience, or at least something better than unpleasant (or worse yet painful)?

This may explain my red chakra blockage and the resulting sacral chakra blockage that comes with it, as well as a good bit of yellow.

There are a lot of beliefs we hold onto because even if they fundamentally run in opposition to the attainment of what we desire, provide us with a sense of stability, due to the fact that such thoughts/beliefs, through reinforcement, are consistent and therefor predictable and stable. This is a feeling of false security, ironically creating conflicting feelings of insecurity and fear. Maybe useful as an adaptive mechanism for times of great stress that seems (at younger ages) threatening to our survival (a root chakra concern, primarily) but now as adults, who are, in fact, quite "safe" as you might think of it, are unlikely feasibly to put us at jeopardy.

To realize the notion that maybe we have a hard time letting go of maladaptive beliefs for this reason gives me a sense that maybe I can let them go. A good way to do that would be through meditation, as well as physical movements designed to energetically facilitate the practice of cultivating inner silence.

Cultivating silence can greatly diminish one's sense of attachment to these thoughts/beliefs.

I should probably put more time and effort into this, for it decreases resistance to achieving inspirational nd flow state. It might SEEM unproductive to the outside eye, but it is productive in that it helps to remove the biggest hurdles of resistance to that which would be productive.

Worth a shot, right?

Oh, and as for what to do when feeling really horny cuz of nofap. Well... I think maybe it's just to learn to sit with the intense feeling and let go of any thoughts or notions of being unable to attain what is desired as best as possible. Also, I have (in hypnogogic states) looked pretty deep into my desires and previously aforementioned desire to feel loved, wanted, desired, appreciated, valued and validated, stemming from childhood wounds, seems to be at the core of it. So perhaps the best method to deal with the intense desire is to instead of viewing it as uncomfortable, view it as a sign of well being and a sign of healthy desire for that which I CAN have (that core need for love and validation at the root of it) to be more than just achievable, but achievable in the moment. That is critical. View it through that lense, sit with the energy, and focus that energy upon the fostering of feeling how I intend to feel by attaining that desire (loved, validated, desirable, worthy) Just jump to that feeling and sit in THAT feeling, which is the end result that is desired throught he sexual contact. Then view that sexual energy as a necessary creative force needed in order to facilitate the FEELING of that core need being fulfilled and use it to FELL more intensely. Then it becomes enjoyable to have that intensity, for it is an intensity in feeling of having what is desired, rather than lacking it.

That's ALSO worth a shot, I reckon.

[Z-Man]

I have a theory I've been mulling over in the past hour or so, born of ideas kind of forming over the course of  years with increasing momentum. It's just a theory, but it might be worth considering quite heavily. The theory is this:

The real reason why we find things such as nofap and celibacy to be so difficult isn't just because we are uncomfortable and because we get horny. It goes deeper than that. The feelings of desire are increasingly intense under such situations and the contrast between desiring someone/something on one hand and the belief that we cannot have what it is that we desire is painful. Therefor we try to release this desire as quick as possible in order to return to a placid state, where our feelings are less intense, uncomfortable and painful. The root issue to this might simply be the decision to believe, on a deep unconscious level that we cannot have what we want, for this reason or that reason. But it's just a belief. And beliefs are decisions first and beliefs consequently.

Therefor, the decision to change begins with the decision to change the belief. It's important to do more than just ell ourselves we can have what we desire, but to choose to truly believe ourselves. This means letting go of old schemas and self imposed limitations which may have at one point served a useful purpose but now only serve to create unnecessary and undesirable resistance to the fulfillment of desire.

What if, upon changing this fundamental faulty belief which is, at it's core, untrue, we find that such intense desire (and the intensity of feeling that comes with it) is now enjoyable to experience, or at least something better than unpleasant (or worse yet painful)?

This may explain my red chakra blockage and the resulting sacral chakra blockage that comes with it, as well as a good bit of yellow.

There are a lot of beliefs we hold onto because even if they fundamentally run in opposition to the attainment of what we desire, provide us with a sense of stability, due to the fact that such thoughts/beliefs, through reinforcement, are consistent and therefor predictable and stable. This is a feeling of false security, ironically creating conflicting feelings of insecurity and fear. Maybe useful as an adaptive mechanism for times of great stress that seems (at younger ages) threatening to our survival (a root chakra  concern, primarily) but now as adults, who are, in fact, quite "safe" as you might think of it, are unlikely feasibly to put us at jeopardy.

To realize the notion that maybe we have a hard time letting go of maladaptive beliefs for this reason gives me a sense that maybe I can let them go. A good way to do that would be through meditation, as well as physical movements designed to energetically facilitate the practice of cultivating inner silence.

Cultivating silence can greatly diminish one's sense of attachment to these thoughts/beliefs.

I should probably put more time and effort into this, for it decreases resistance to achieving inspirational nd flow state. It might SEEM unproductive to the outside eye, but it is productive in that it helps to remove the biggest hurdles of resistance to that which would be productive.

Worth a shot, right?

Oh, and as for what to do when feeling really horny cuz of nofap. Well... I think maybe it's just to learn to sit with the intense feeling and let go of any thoughts or notions of being unable to  attain what is desired as best as possible. Also, I have (in hypnogogic states) looked pretty deep into my desires and previously aforementioned desire to feel loved, wanted, desired, appreciated, valued and validated, stemming from childhood wounds, seems to be at the core of it. So perhaps the best method to deal with the intense desire is to instead of viewing it as uncomfortable, view it as a sign of well being and a sign of healthy desire for that which I CAN have (that core need for love and validation at the root of it) to be more than just achievable, but achievable in the moment. That is critical. View it through that lense, sit with the energy, and focus that energy upon the fostering of feeling how I intend to feel by attaining that desire (loved, validated, desirable,  worthy) Just jump to that feeling and sit in THAT feeling, which is the end result that is desired throught he sexual contact. Then view that sexual energy as a necessary creative force needed in order to facilitate the FEELING of that core need being fulfilled and use it to FELL more intensely. Then it becomes enjoyable to have that intensity, for it is an intensity in feeling of having what is desired, rather than lacking it.

That's ALSO worth a shot, I reckon.

I reckon brother, The area of letting go. Set your intention and feel the experience and than just let go. The law of attraction. 1. Ask, you have already done that, 2. Answer, the universe has already done that. 3. Are we letting it in. How do you know you ask, how do feel when think about it. That is your emotion guidance system or you can look and what's coming into your life. Step 3. Letting in that is the work. You know there are two sides of the stick 1. letting in and 2. lack of what you want. What part of the stick are we picking up. Sounds easy right? I feel I pick up the lack part a lot. Looking for instant results. I have whatis itis. That looking what at what is and telling the same story. The question if that is not what you want, you have to tell the story that you want to live until it become your reality. Just looking at reality creates more of the same. We all don't want that, that why we came to use these subliminal to change our belief which are the thoughts we think, which therefore will change our reality all the stuff we really want. 

EvolvingPhoenix I think you hit on the nail, if just food for thought!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Right on. Thanks man

[GreekGod22]

Hi, are you still running UH?

[EvolvingPhoenix]

Hi, are you still running UH?

Yes. I am. Sorry. I haven't been on in a while huh? 


A lot's happened. Most recently, I got hit by an SUV cuz I wasn't paying attention while walking home from work. Brken left clavicle. It's been a few weeks. My clavicle is almost completely healed. There's been a lot of other developments, but it's been too much for me to want to write down. Honestly, I remember Shannon saying that he noticed people who were getting results the most tended to post the least. I think it's cuz you get the most results when you're just living life and executing the script and vice versa.

[EvolvingPhoenix]

From the voting poll that Shannon posted (I figured it also kinda makes for a good post to put in my UH journal) --

"Y'know, it might be superstitious or something but I take this as a synchronicity. I've been stewing all night about past grievances. Unfair treatment by my ex-friend and 33 years of abusive mistreatment by my family. And just blowing up about it under my breath, in my room. I am trying to be better than that. Trying to let go. And I'm struggling. And I say to myself as I head in for bed. I say to my innermost being, the REAL me that's deep down in there somewhere 'Help me. I am TRYING to forgive. I am TRYING to have a higher vibration or energy or whatever you'd call it. And I need help.' and I just kept saying 'Help me' over and over. And the idea suddenly comes to me to turn my computer on and go onto subliminal talk for some reason, despite the fact that I usually don't lately. And I see this poll, with 'Overcoming Fear, Shame and Guilt' as one of the options, with the most votes. So of course I voted for it, cuz hey, maybe that's what I need, you know? **shrug**

Shame seems to be a deeply rooted issue for me, after over three decades of being the scapegoat of the family and the lightning rod for everyone else's mistreatment. And I don't want to take all the RAGE that has been building up over the decades of my life and unleash it and explode and tell everyone what I REALLY think of them through that lens of pain and anger, because I know it's just gonna keep a cycle going and it's just gonna manifest more unwanted shit into my life because that kind of energy is never a good place to be coming from and I believe everything we attract is a reflection of our own internal state and beliefs, so I'm TRYING to handle this positively and I'm struggling. Maybe Shame, Fear and Guilt removal would help unblock the part of me that I need to let go of to finally heal these deeply seated issues."

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Anyway, I have a friend who's psychic. I asked her to give me a chakra diagnosis and tell me which is my most blocked chakra. All three lower chakras a fucked, blocking the upper ones. It seems none were more blocked than the others due to the interconnectedness of the chakra system. She said (accurately) there's a feeling of being emasculated and needing to prove myself as a man, with an extremely deep rabbit hole of rage that she didn't want to go down. She's of a very deliberately negative energetic orientation, but knows I'm basically a hippy so she said she couldn't help me. If I wanted to embrace the dark philosophy she goes by, she could tell me EXACTLY what to do with all that anger, but since I'm trying to be positive, she can't help me. I am trying to forgive. And I am trying to adopt a positive way of life. But I am struggling. I m sure UH is helping me, but I dunno if it's doing enough and I dunno what else to do. OR maybe it's not working fast enough for my liking? I dunno. I just feel stuck. I'm sure I'm actually making quite a bit of progress, but it's the same old story and the same old unresolved grievences and resentment. I can't seem to shake it and can't seem to resolve these issues. I don't know what to do. I'm just so deeply hurt and so angry!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So, I've been busy moving into my new apartment and haven't found much time to write this, but a couple days ago, I went to go see my (I can't remember what type it's called. I originally said pediatrric, but thought "That can't be right, so I checked the definition of pediatric. It isn't LOL) surgeon to see if my broken clavicle (I think I mentioned earlier that it got broken a month ago, as a result of getting hit by an SUV walking home from work) was healed up enough to go back to work. He was in a very good mood looking at the results, saying he'd never seen someone heal so quickly! My clavicle isn't back to 100% strength yet, but it IS fully healed up, in that new bone has completely grown around the point of breakage. HE said it usually takes one more month for it to heal up this fully! He'd never seen this kind of injury heal this fast! I didn't mention the subliminal affirmation software, but the whole time I thought about this program and I now consider this incident the best proof I've seen so far as to the efficacy of UH's results! The program works! Imagine how much faster my clavicle would have healed if I were using a physical healing sub instead of a universal healing one! Definitely pleased with this subliminal so far! @Shannon I just wanted to link you to this cause I figured you'd be pleased to see more reports of clear results!

[EvolvingPhoenix]

So...

I started using E1 like almost 4 and a half years ago, and since then, I've been healing (because even the 16 months of UMS was basically just spent healing whatever got in the way of financial abundance)
I use MLS for like a year, but otherwise, it's mostly been healing. The reason I bring this up is because I'm not sure which sub to get once this sub's time is up. The time is fast approaching to either CONTINUE using UH for another 3-6 months then switch to the latest OGSF, go back to MLS for another 3-6 months and try to learn something while I wait for the latest version OGSF to come out, OR.... switch over to the latest version of UMS because I REALLY want enough money to live independently.


My brother is a social worker and has recently helped me move out for the first time in my life and live on my own, at the age of 33. Problem is, it's a low income housing apartment. I'm tired of working shitty jobs, tired of living with assistance from the gov and I don't like the fact that on our first day here, my brother got into a pissing contest with one of the apartment's residents over people being allowed to smoke in their apartments. HE threatened to use his connections (he's worked with senators and every judge in the city loves him, etc) to get the rules changed about people being allowed to smoke in their apartments, and even though he's just a social worker, I know he could probably do it if he really wanted to spend the time and money. What has me worried about this is that I feel like this place ain't really mine. I'm just living in it with the blessings of my family and the state. I hate it. I want a place that's truly MY OWN and I don't want to have to suck shit and do stuff I don't wanna do in order to have that sort of financial freedom. I feel like it's just an ILLUSION of financial freedom I'm being given here, and I know that feeling that way is not good for manifesting/attracting better stuff into my life.


So I'm really torn up here. Which way do I go? UMS or OFGS? And if I choose OGSF, what do I use in the meantime? UMSv1? MLS? UH?


It feels like I've spent the better part of 4 and a half years healing and I would have figured I'd be ready to move onto manifesting (romance, money, etc) by now, you know?

So what should I do? If anybody has any advice, I'd like to hear it. Thanks.