Transcendental Sith Lord's UH / MLS Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Well, just like when I woke up and cut off all video games for 90 days (along with any porn watching a week later) I woke up today and decided no more youtube watching unless its programming related or to listen to music. I will still allow myself to watch movies occasionally to unwind some of the time but other than that I will be watching out if I start binge watching as a form of escape.

I already feel it in my mind that this is going to be one of the more difficult ones to do. This does also expand to random internet surfing as well. Its something I have to absolutely look up, etc or I don't look it up at all. I'm going to do this for a week then after that if things are still going well I will extend for 3 weeks to make it a month. I already feel it in my mind though. I feel some part of me that has been addicted to this along with random internet surfing almost screeching in the back of my mind of how bored I'm going to be, etc. Funny enough, its that screeching that gives me confirmation that this is the right move and I feel like I will reclaim even more of my willpower to get important things done.

In some of my thinking over the past 2 months I came to realize something. I don't think its political in nature but more philosophical. Where I am , in the US, you constantly hear people chant about their "freedom, freedom, freedom" to ad nauseum but then I realized something. Its nothing but a bunch of addicts chanting about how "free" they are which rings hollow to me. I realize more than ever if your constantly on social media and can't stop yourself to the point it affects your relationships and other responsibilities you aren't free. If you are constantly playing video games and keep saying "one more game" to the point that its only a few hours until you have to be at work or school then you aren't free. If you are constantly allowing things you see on the internet to control you emotionally, you aren't free. If your letting any form of the internet constantly dictate to you emotionally, or any form of it is constantly getting in the way of your responsibilities or bettering your actual real life (not some imaginary life that you perceive online) then you aren't free. This reminds me of a quote I saw a long time ago:

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free" - Goethe

Ironically, as I might have said before, only those that actually have self discipline and self control are actually free. Those that are control by every single emotion or impulse that runs through their mind and body aren't free and are easily controlled. Hence, the more I have gotten rid of these bad habits and addictions that have been zapping my willpower the more will power and control I have felt over my life. Also the more I feel as though I have been actually executing the subliminal instructions. I feel as though this is the last area I need to deal with then I will basically be free to choose to execute even more of the subliminal once this is done with.

I do think if I'm able to go through with this I should also be close to or done with this bachelors after a month. After that it will be just studying to ace the more technical interviews at big tech companies which some of the interviews can be 4 to 6 hours long. Will narrow things down to one programming language so I can focus and be skilled at that one and doing projects in that language. I also decided once I get a remote job at a top company I will probably move up my time line for moving to the EU so I can start getting residency already then move on to citizenship later. I do plan on most likely splitting my time between the EU, morocco and "maybe" South America.

In the meantime I do see myself just continuing to run MLS pretty much one loop a day for almost every day (with maybe a break every 2 weeks) while this process is on going. I will probably only run something else once the new DMSI comes out and that probably won't be for another 2 months at least. So pretty much after my whole detox run is over with. Will probably just keep journaling here more often to share my thoughts and maybe in a way keep myself accountable while this is all going on.

[DarthXedonias]

Thought I would update real quick.

It is as I thought and giving up these certain habits are really reverting my mind and brain structure to a much healthier state. Since I'm using the sub at the same time this is going on I feel as though it is probably speeding up the process and not only reverting things to a healthier state but also changing things so that the sub can more easily achieve its goals. I have this strange feeling while trying to rest that I am slowly "losing" myself. This does prompt a some what fear like feeling but I am dealing with it. Its like I'm finding it harder and harder to identify with the past I had or feeling anything towards it. I just have not much interest in it nor to turn that past into my future. This scares some part of myself somewhat, hence why when i finally decided to cut out lots of youtube and web surfing as well. That seemed to be the last bastion to keep things the same.

Another thing I have experience which i chalk up to a combination of no more porn but also I believe it might be TID from the new DMSI. Along with feeling more vivid attraction towards women but also any sexuality that is felt or sexual energy is just really, really intense. I have never felt this kind of intense sexual energy. After feeling this I'm pretty confident in DMSI's goals now. I know for a fact that if I could cause a woman I am attracted to to feel this soft of raw sexual energy directed at me then I would have no issues in the dating arena.

Lastly I finally feel comfortable disclosing something. In Shannon's discussion journal I had mentioned I felt like I had to incidences that felt related to the concept of reality shifting he had mentioned. At the time I didn't feel comfortable mentioning them as I didn't really fully understand these incidences. They felt like something I automatically "felt" like doing usually while listening to the sub. One of these incidences was like I imagined or felt in my minds eyes an infinite amount of myself and would imagine myself moving from one of them to another getting closer to a reality where the sub was dominate. The other incidence was similar to this but it felt like I was gathering small amounts of energy from each of these different reality versions of myself and using that energy to help "move" me towards a reality where the reality is more dominate. All of this feels strange unless you have experienced but thought I would disclose that. Maybe in some way it might help others. I did find that while doing all this I would get "aha" moments where I realized something about myself that would help me resolve something that was holding me back from executing.

Anyway, that's about all I wanted to mention for now. Hopefully anything I mentioned can help out someone else here.

[RTBoss]

Glad to see all the headway you're experiencing!

What are you doing for fun, now that you're clearing away addictive behaviors? Is there anything you're doing to relax (or for enjoyment) that you find is healthier/better for you, or that you didn't realize you'd enjoy so much?

[DarthXedonias]

Glad to see all the headway you're experiencing!  

What are you doing for fun, now that you're clearing away addictive behaviors?  Is there anything you're doing to relax (or for enjoyment) that you find is healthier/better for you, or that you didn't realize you'd enjoy so much?

Its funny that you bring that up as I did think of this and what I wanted to do last night actually. Before I mention that though I would first say life in general have just become a lot more enjoyable. I think there is a reason for this in that a lot of addictive behaviors can be similar to drug addiction. As some people know in drug addiction it can be that you get such a "high" from the chemical that anything else in comparison is boring, barely stimulating or enjoyable in comparison. So people only keep on chasing the thing (could be a drug, video games, porn, watching online videos, etc) that keeps on giving them that dopamine hit and they have to keep on engaging in that more and more to be effected by it. I think since I've cut out those things that has kind of reset my brain as I said and now I have a lower base line. So I can just find life itself more enjoyable. 

As to what happened last night which was pertinent to your question I was laying in bed last night and I started thinking and for whatever reason I started getting this feeling that I just wanted to increase my skill set more but not only that. I wanted to master the skills that are important to me. As this feeling kept on increasing I then remembered suddenly that Robert Greene (of 48 laws of power fame) did have a book called mastery. I got up real quick to to see if maybe there would be a free audio version online or something. Unfortunately, and I think this part was a minor attempt at self sabotage, I got distracted for a few minutes then couldn't remember why I got online to begin with. Luckily, like 2 hours later as I was driving at work I remembered instantly in my mind about the book. Found an audio of the book on youtube and started listening. I had a few revelations while listening to it (regarding you wanting to master something in which you have had impulses or a feeling compulsion towards) and realized I did actually have enjoyment towards programming whenever in the past when I had to deal with it all in an academic study. 

I remember being in highschool and utterly enjoying the problem solving and creative process in web development. Later on in community college I remember spending time being engrossed in learning C++ to the point that hours would pass but it didn't feel like hours. I then had to reason with myself why I hadn't pursued it all those years ago. One reason I found out was that I didn't want to do all the math. It wasn't that I was horrible with math but I didn't like it and some of that stimmed from what I said in other posts about my faulty beliefs because what a math teacher in elementary school did to me as I was trying to move up the math ranks. The second reason I found out is because quite frankly I had this faulty belief system that I didn't deserve to be happy or hell I started to wonder if I was even cursed given how badly I was treated in my younger years.

Part of this stimmed from the fact that my mother had feminist learnings at times and quite frankly though this is personal information (not sure if I shared this before) she was "R" when she was younger. Now not everyone reacts to trauma the same way but despite that everyone should deal with it instead of running away from it. Its not your fault that said trauma happened to you but it is your "responsibility" to deal with it. More so because if you don't its going to negatively affect everyone around you, not just you. This might have the affect of you going on and traumatizing someone else. In this case its obvious she decide not to deal with it and this spilled over into how she dealt with her male children. Spoiler alert.. it didn't end up going so well. For full disclosure though I do have to admit I'm not sure if I fully believe her when she says such an event happened when she was younger. The reason being is that I have found out in the past she has lied about "major" things from the past from before I was born. One in particular to this day she has not come clean about (she doesn't know I know the truth about this certain situation she has lied about before) despite watching all these videos recently about spirituality, etc. 

Regardless I realized if it wasn't for these major factors scaring me off from the field and even thinking I didn't deserve to be happy I'm pretty sure I would have recognized my affinity for the field and gotten started in it a long time ago. Had that happened honestly I would probably be very well off financially and not worry for anything. However, its not too late really for me and I do feel like I need to make up for lost time. So at this point I just plan on eating, breathing and sleeping programming for a while. I want complete mastery of not only a particular language but also the fundamentals. Btw, this was partly to answer your question (RTBoss) but also a kind of update to my recent thought processes. 

In other news the subliminal results are still there. Was presented with a coding Challenge to learn certain skills I was just taught. Literally stared at the screen thinking for about 2 minutes and had already constructed in my mind how to solve the problem. I didn't do the challenge because after that I decide to go to sleep (needed to rest before work) but the fact that I actually figured that all out within 2 minutes really did surprise me. Its still going on even with math. Like I'm learning concepts and I instantly understand them and am able to connect them wit previous concepts I learned before. 

Lastly, in keeping with my commitment to only watch/listen to videos related to programming, etc I have come across some information that does have me excited. So I recently found out that some companies have actually moved from a 4 year vesting period for the stock in the country they give you as part of your pay to just having it fully vest at the end of the year. To give you an example, usually how it works is say company A that you work for, as part of you pay, gives you 100k worth in stock per year as part of your employment. So for that first year with the company at the end of the first year 25% of it vests (which means you are allowed to take ownership of that stock to either keep it or sell it if you want). This continues for the next 3 years at 25% until basically at that fourth year you are able to fully sell all that initial stock from your first year of work if you wanted. This does make it so that what you get after you sell it can fluctuate up or down over the year. So lets say they get you 100k worth of stock and that equals 100 shares. Since the price can go up or down during that time it could be more or less than 100k. What some companies are doing now is making it totally based on how much it is. So if they say you get 100k that means when it vests they give you 100k worth in stock that you can sell. So there isn't any potential upside but your also protected against any downside swing and on top of that they give you the full amount at the end of each year instead of having to wait over 4 years. 

To be honest I prefer this as at the beginning I do need to put a down payment on a house in Europe so I can qualify for a Golden Visa program there and then get citizenship after 5 years. So having the option to sell at the end of the year so I can use that to buy property full on out, use as a down-payment, or help pay off current owned property would be great. However I do wonder later on which option I would prefer for tax purposes. To give an example at higher levels you can get paid 600k USD in stock per year. For clarification, for the 4 year vesting option during years 2 through 3 they will break it up so that you get 6.5% of the stock every 3 months. So at that point I wonder which would be better for tax purposes I wonder: getting a lump sum of 600k at the end of the year or perhaps getting about 28k every 3 months? I will probably do more research about this and figure it out soon enough. Its just an interesting option I have been thinking about lately. 

Anyway, that about it for now. Will update again soon once there is more to report.

[DarthXedonias]

Just a few things I need to note down.

Will basically now, starting today, cutting off all YouTube watching unless it has to do with learning math or programming (no day in the life of a google, amazon, etc programmer anymore either). Came up with this because giving up this is a little bit more difficult because my mind would try to get me to watch one video that was unrelated then all of a sudden I start going down these rabbit holes of multiple video's or looking up other things because a certain video reminded me of something else, etc. Its funny because I had never really thought of the YouTube algorithm up to that point but then I realized I basically was in that algorithm. The whole point of the algorithm is to recommend stuff on the home page or side bars based on your interests and to get you to keep watching. I did learn one other thing recently which kind of cleared something up for me about Dopamine. Dopamine isn't the reward itself in the brain, it is the motivating chemical. Its not "this feels good" its "I want this" its also used in "anticipation" of a reward. That put my going down the rabbit hole syndrome in perspective. The reason I would go down these rabbit holes as it were is because I would get that anticipation of something good based on a flashy thumbnail, etc and go to look at "one more video".

With that put into perspective I have decided to severally limit it all. I think if I can just get over this last hurdle then the results from the sub will be even more prevalent. I'm wondering as well if maybe I can subtly force myself to like learning some things that I didn't find as appealing. Reason being that since I still need to use YouTube for my math and programming maybe I can use that to increase my enjoyment. If the only thing after a while that gives me that dopamine hit is math and programming (due to cutting out all other media) then that means the only place I can get such a legitimate "hit" is those things that actually will move me forward in life. So basically the way dopamine was supposed to work anyway. Want things that are actually going to move you forward in life and the anticipation of the reward from those things instead of getting quick fixes from huge amounts of "entertainment" which will not help you in the long term.

Another thing I have noticed for a while now is when I learn something I do have the habit of relearning it over and over in my head. Like I will literally imagine lines of code or math problems in my head to go over during random times of the day so I keep it fresh in my mind. It does seem to keep things semi fresh in my mind so that when I get back to certain courses I didn't forget things. I am trying to get through this one math class as quickly as possible because I do really want to graduate and it seems so far the only classes in this whole degree that are slowing me down a bit are the math ones. Everything else seems to be quite simple to understand for the most part. Even after I'm done with all this I will still need to take like a month or two to study for the coding interviews at big tech companies.

Lastly, I think there is still something going on with this sexual energy I feel at times. I think its a combination of me changing my life around but also maybe effects from the future DMSI? All I know is this morning (very early in the morning) I just felt this very sexual energy inside of me. I think it lifted my confidence as well as I felt dominant and desirable. Also, I do think on that front I am increasing some kind of endurance when it comes to that sexually energy. Have to say that looking forward to how I will do on the new DMSI when it comes out given all the changes I have made.

[Shannon]

It seems more likely to me that you're getting TID from the next aphrodisiac I release, although I have yet to determine if it will have P6 in it. That program should be coming out before the end of this month, and is designed to affect anyone who hears it who does not fall into the list of people who should not be affected (like underage people, etc.). It is designed to result in massive sexual arousal.

DMSI-Next is going to be in private testing for a month or two, and isn't certain to pass testing or be released.

[DarthXedonias]

It seems more likely to me that you're getting TID from the next aphrodisiac I release, although I have yet to determine if it will have P6 in it.  That program should be coming out before the end of this month, and is designed to affect anyone who hears it who does not fall into the list of people who should not be affected (like underage people, etc.).  It is designed to result in massive sexual arousal.

DMSI-Next is going to be in private testing for a month or two, and isn't certain to pass testing or be released.

You know this whole TID is really freaky at time. I had no intention on buying it at all really. However after what you just said I thought about what reason why I would buy it then instantly an idea of why came to me then I realized I was going to buy it. This TID stuff is really, really freaky. Literally no intention on buying it until you mentioned that the TID was coming from it and realizing the reason why I would buy it. Of interest this would probably explain this almost intense feeling and full body orgasm feeling I would get if I released (without porn obviously). This feeling is the most intense pleasure I have ever felt in my life and its like there is this soft pleasant energy left over that kind of lingers.

[Shannon]

I invented P6 and TID, and I did it years ago. I've seen it in others dozens of times and seen it in myself as many times again. I have seen many times when TID was happening before the person knew they were going to be using the program, and sometimes, to me before I even knew I was going to be making the program. And I still have a hard time believing it myself.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, seem to be noticing a lot of changes day to day.

First off realized yes, getting rid of the youtube except for when watching videos on courses was the right call. I noticed while driving last night that I just had this overwhelming urge to listen to just fluff stuff or entertaining stuff. I noticed this got even worst after I had an energy drink. Seems like when I have a lot of energy I don't know how to use it productively so I just waste all my energy on listening to entertaining stuff that isn't very productive. Luckily I was able to resist last night and basically switched from listening to my math course to my programming course while solving the programming in my head. I found when I made that switch it became easier though the strong urge was still there for a while. I've decided every time I get one of those urges I will just switch to my programming course and start memorizing and solving issues. Also in doing this I realized that I can learn the programming language basically after about one month and half of doing this. I think for Python it takes about 200 hours of practice to be very comfortable using it for work and I would be able to essentially due to my job get 40 hours in every week.

Secondly, i realized I'm just not going to take life as seriously anymore. What I mean by that is its not that I'm not going to work hard to achieve what I want but instead of taking life seriously I'm just going to see it as a good fun game that I intend to succeed at and win. I noticed once I made that decision my "fear of death" just wasn't there as much as it used to be. Sitting here wondering and fearing of the inevitable is a waste of time. Just reckon with the fact that it is going to happen and be done with it.

Lastly I will be starting my investing finally tomorrow. I feel like after I've given up so much entertainment BS that I need to fill the time not only with studying but something else to pass the time (I will be getting a home gym kit soon as well). I will put a small long term investment that I will just sit and forget about and then have one that I will actively keep trading on over a long period of time. That one I will take a long term approach of maybe only making small % profits per trade but since it will be a large amount of trades over a long period it should equal to a huge amount of money. If all goes well, might use some of that to buy property, etc. Will probably use it also to qualify for my citizenship in an EU country as well.

So far looks like I'm dropping some very unproductive and unhealthy habits while picking up way more productive and healthy ones. Even after the 90 days I think as far as video games even if I go back to playing them it will mostly be games that are story oriented and actually have an ending (will probably limit the amount of time as well). Even then I don't really feel desire to play them anymore. Porn I will probably never go back to because there is no point. YouTube I will definitely still limit as that can be a total sink hole honestly.

[Superman]

I invented P6 and TID, and I did it years ago.  I've seen it in others dozens of times and seen it in myself as many times again.  I have seen many times when TID was happening before the person knew they were going to be using the program, and sometimes, to me before I even knew I was going to be making the program.  And I still have a hard time believing it myself.

Is TID something that happens normally in everyday life? Or only in relation to your subs?

[Shannon]

I invented P6 and TID, and I did it years ago.  I've seen it in others dozens of times and seen it in myself as many times again.  I have seen many times when TID was happening before the person knew they were going to be using the program, and sometimes, to me before I even knew I was going to be making the program.  And I still have a hard time believing it myself.

Is TID something that happens normally in everyday life? Or only in relation to your subs?

How could I invent it if it happened normally in everyday life?  TID stands for Temporal Impact Displacement, and it's a natural side effect of the P6 module and technology that I use in my skeleton script.  It results in people experiencing the results of using a subliminal before they start using it, and its prevalence depends on how resistant you are to executing the script.  Most people who try hard at a subconscious level to fight execution will experience little to no TID because as it fades in, it isn't as powerful as the program will be when it is actually being used.  I'm not sure yet how 5.9G will affect that.It's a little more complicated than that, but that's a good enough explanation.  You can also look in the glossary listed on the web store for more.

[Superman]

I invented P6 and TID, and I did it years ago.  I've seen it in others dozens of times and seen it in myself as many times again.  I have seen many times when TID was happening before the person knew they were going to be using the program, and sometimes, to me before I even knew I was going to be making the program.  And I still have a hard time believing it myself.

Is TID something that happens normally in everyday life? Or only in relation to your subs?

How could I invent it if it happened normally in everyday life?  TID stands for Temporal Impact Displacement, and it's a natural side effect of the P6 module and technology that I use in my skeleton script.  It results in people experiencing the results of using a subliminal before they start using it, and its prevalence depends on how resistant you are to executing the script.  Most people who try hard at a subconscious level to fight execution will experience little to no TID because as it fades in, it isn't as powerful as the program will be when it is actually being used.  I'm not sure yet how 5.9G will affect that.It's a little more complicated than that, but that's a good enough explanation.  You can also look in the glossary listed on the web store for more.

Ok thank you. I noticed the glossary button at the top of the forum leads to a dead page in the store. Also TID is not in the glossary on the store

[Shannon]

I invented P6 and TID, and I did it years ago.  I've seen it in others dozens of times and seen it in myself as many times again.  I have seen many times when TID was happening before the person knew they were going to be using the program, and sometimes, to me before I even knew I was going to be making the program.  And I still have a hard time believing it myself.

Is TID something that happens normally in everyday life? Or only in relation to your subs?

How could I invent it if it happened normally in everyday life?  TID stands for Temporal Impact Displacement, and it's a natural side effect of the P6 module and technology that I use in my skeleton script.  It results in people experiencing the results of using a subliminal before they start using it, and its prevalence depends on how resistant you are to executing the script.  Most people who try hard at a subconscious level to fight execution will experience little to no TID because as it fades in, it isn't as powerful as the program will be when it is actually being used.  I'm not sure yet how 5.9G will affect that.It's a little more complicated than that, but that's a good enough explanation.  You can also look in the glossary listed on the web store for more.

Ok thank you. I noticed the glossary button at the top of the forum leads to a dead page in the store. Also TID is not in the glossary on the store

Thanks for the heads up.  I've corrected the in-store glossary, but the link will have to be corrected by Ben.

[DarthXedonias]

Well, things are actually going quite good so far.

Should be close to finishing another section in my math course possibly by today. After that only have 4 more sections I believe. Want to get through this math course sooner as I feel this is eating too much time. The reason why I didn't go as fast through my courses last term was because this course was holding me up. I don't want to make a repeat of that this time. I just really need to get through this degree and study for my tech interviews because quite frankly I need that increase in base pay to live a bit more comfortably. Preferably if I can get a remote job with a major company.

I did end up buying a small portable gym and ended my gym membership. Quite frankly I prefer working out at home. This time I am motivated to get into the best shape possible. Going with this I will be doing a 7 day a week workout and working out 1 body part a day. Will be sure I'm eating enough calories as well. On the mental side my call to cut out any potentially addictive things out of my life is paying off. Decided yesterday along with porn ,which I had cut out completely for pretty much a month now, I will be going no fap as well. I noticed since I have cut out all these things (video games, porn, youtube watching, and now fapping) life is just a lot better. I find myself in a lot better mood and find enjoyment in just living. Also, even when I do occasionally take a break and watch a movie for example I find it a lot more enjoyable. I assume this is not only a change in beliefs but also since my brain isn't overloaded with dopamine activities I am a lot more sensitive to it. To help with this whole process I think in like 2 weeks or so I will be doing a 2 hour float in a sensory depravation tank. Just want to relax for 2 hours completely without any sensory input or worry about my surroundings.

I did find also changing all this made it so when I do stuff like my studies they actually interest me a lot more. Speaking of which I found out why my subconscious suggested Mastery by Robert Greene. Always liked his different books (ever since I read the 48 laws of power in highschool) but I felt like this one was really key to making me realize some things. I can also see why the parts of me that might still be resisting wanted me to be distracted from it for a while until like 2 days ago I suddenly remembered about it again and started listening to the audio book (for anyone interested there is a free audio book version of it on youtube broken into 2 chapters at a time).

Listening to it made me realize what I need to do. If I really want to be great in the realm of programming I'm going to have to do what other masters in field did which is fully dedicate themselves to it. One thing that the book does talk about is how, just like with the apprenticeship way of learning, you need to get to about 10,000 hours with an activity in which at that point your should be at about mastery status. Mind you this is only an average. In reality it can take anywhere from 728 hours to 16,120 hours. So the individual in question does have some bearing on how long it takes (along with if you have a good teacher). There is some truth behind this as looking at the great composers for example despite being called geniuses many of them didn't make anything original until they accumulated over 10,000 hours of practice. The ones that were an exception to this rule usually did earlier at 9,000 hours.

Granted also some certain skills take longer to master than others. I know I've seen for certain programming languages it only takes 200 hours to be job ready with them and then mastery is at about 2,000 hours. Despite this I think what I will do is still go for an 10,000 hour mark but with that broken up into different aspects of programming (certainly not all in one language either). If I'm going to do any of this and be in a certain field I'm going to be the best I can be at it. For once in my life I feel as though I want to really achieve something. I feel as though I have regained my will power and motivation to face issues. The other good news is that when you master one programming language it becomes a lot easier to learn others as a lot of them use the same understandings and techniques. Usually the only differences are the syntax of said languages and maybe some small unique features.

Lastly, I did start my trading and I actually find it enjoyable so far. I have set up alarms that go to my phone when certain assets go above or below a certain price. I'm finding it enjoyable as I just either buy or sell after getting an alert then I just set it and forget it. This is a long term strategy so I will see where I am at over a year. Overall several different areas in my life are changing for the better.