whome's LTU5 journal

[SaltyMeatballs]

How old is the AC? When did it last have a maintenance? Could simply be airflow restriction, check the indoor coil and filters, make sure they r not blocked. Bottom coil icing up is indication that condensate is not draining properly due to blockage in drip tray. 90% of the time it just needs a good clean. Turn off mains feed before u do anything.

[whome]

Day 123

I’m starting to wake up exhausted again, despite sleeping with the A/C. This… sucks.

I’m thinking a lot about the A/C. If it actually worked, then it should be able to quickly cool the room, and even if it did wake me it would be done fast enough for me to sleep despite it, and without earplugs…

Meanwhile I’m managing to get the 5 loops in, barely. I’m away from my desk enough that it’s tricky.

How old is the AC? When did it last have a maintenance? Could simply be airflow restriction, check the indoor coil and filters, make sure they r not blocked. Bottom coil icing up is indication that condensate is not draining properly due to blockage in drip tray. 90% of the time it just needs a good clean. Turn off mains feed before u do anything.

It’s only three years old, and has always struggled to cool the room since day one. It is clean, no issues with airflow. It doesn’t always ice up, only sometimes.

The fact that it’s an 8000 BTU A/C failing to be able to cool an 11 by 16 room with 10ft ceilings I think means there’s something wrong. My best guess at this point is that there’s not enough coolant, explaining the half-cold coil, as well as kinda explaining the icing.

So I think it’s worth a recharge, and I’ll take it from there.

(Yes, it’s probably oversized. I have little respect for the contractors who worked on my apartment, and the amount of respect declines as the years go by and I discover the choices they made. Also, I think this is off-topic enough that we should end this discussion. I just wanted to post thermal images, because I don’t get to play with my thermal camera enough.)

[whome]

Day 125

A day off. Now that I wear earplugs overnight, I have to listen to the 5 loops during the day and it’s been hard to get them all in. I’m in a shared office, so I can’t just play it ultrasonically, as the age skews quite young, and when I tried it I got complains that my phone was making a high-frequency noise. So I keep it on my computer and keep it playing while I’m there, but my day is broken up into a lot of meetings. But I’m taking the next two weeks off, so ultrasonic during the day will likely work for those two weeks.

I’m following up on the A/C repair, and am realizing now that because it’s getting hot out and it’s a short week, I need to just get it working and not worry too much about warranties, etc.

As for my emotional state, it’s not great. The grief/worthlessness feeling underlies everything. I’m not feeling any movement.

[whome]

Day 127

The A/C continues to struggle; I continue to struggle to sleep well.

I think I’m going to do the 5-MeO, and my acupuncturist wants me to do it when he’s back in town so that he can help if anything comes up. That means that it’ll happen at the beginning of August, and since I don’t want to mix the subs and drugs, I think it’s a good time to stop using the sub to take the 35 days off.

Summary:

It hit me in terms of ability to sleep, so something was happening. DMSI hit me hard in terms of emotions, while LTU didn’t, so that’s an advancement of LTU. (Or alternatively, the prospect of having sex/being sexual was terrifying to me in a way that the healing offered by LTU wasn’t. It’s not clear how to tell.) Otherwise, I can’t say that I could tell that anything else was going on.

Perhaps I’ll return to LTU after the drugs. I don’t know.

(Edit: if anyone has any questions, I’d be happy to answer them.)

[whome]

The A/C continues to struggle; I continue to struggle to sleep well.

I’m replacing the A/C. Good riddance.

DMSI hit me hard in terms of emotions, while LTU didn’t, so that’s an advancement of LTU. (Or alternatively, the prospect of having sex/being sexual was terrifying to me in a way that the healing offered by LTU wasn’t. It’s not clear how to tell.)

Thinking about it, I think the parenthesized version is the more likely. In my work with the sexual healer, arousal is deeply intertwined with existential grief. If DMSI was pushing on the sexuality button, I can imagine that it would result in the pain that I felt.

Still resting from LTU.

[whome]

Not using LTU

I’m still off LTU, in preparation for stuff that shouldn’t be mixed with it.

Because I’m taking a break, I wouldn’t ordinarily comment on this log, but there are a few things that have happened lately that I’m not sure what to do with.

First, on my dating profile I have a section, in the “what are you looking for” part, that says “I’m looking for a meaningful connection, but I’m not your soulmate. Let’s have fun anyway.” I’ve gotten lots of replies shaming me about that, but this past week I’ve had two women me saying “yes, please”. One is bouncing between LA and here and isn’t here for another two weeks, and the other isn’t replying yet, but this seems like a huge change.

Second, I was shopping for cable ties at Home Depot. Packs of 200 were $9-ish, and there was a can of 650 for $13, but there was a bag of 500 lying around. I didn’t see the shelf label, so i shrugged and took it to the register. It rang up as $1.34. That’s crazy; I don’t recall the last time that happened.

I don’t know if this is an indication of anything. I can’t say that this is TID; TID from what, anyway? But I wanted to note it as something unusual that happened.

[RTBoss]

Not using LTU

I don’t know if this is an indication of anything. I can’t say that this is TID; TID from what, anyway? But I wanted to note it as something unusual that happened.

There's also the potential for what Shannonccalls the "bloom" when you stop. "Bloom" refers to executing the script better, perhaps even fully, since you're no longer actively processing the subliminal. P6 technology is supposed to keep the script running in your subconscious for 35+ days. So there's that possibility.

[whome]

There's also the potential for what Shannon calls the "bloom" when you stop. "Bloom" refers to executing the script better, perhaps even fully, since you're no longer actively processing the subliminal. P6 technology is supposed to keep the script running in your subconscious for 35+ days. So there's that possibility.

I’ll reply with a firm “maybe?” On one hand, there are a few things that look interesting, but not much else seems to be going well. I’m still feeling frustrated and stuck and the chats with the women have ground to a halt. So I genuinely don’t know if this has anything to do with the subs. I posted this as grist for the data mill; take it as you will.

[whome]

And this morning I found a $10 bill on the floor while passing through the fare gates of the subway. That’s pretty rare for me.

[whome]

Hello, my friends, I’m back. I am pondering returning to LTU, but I have a question (mostly for @Shannon).

I will be going to be going to a fully licensed medical doctor next week, and he will be administering ketamine to turn off the pain in my chest and to lighten my emotions.

(FYI, I do not believe that this post is in violation of Rule 16. Yes, some people use ketamine recreationally, but I am not talking about the use of ketamine recreationally. This is a deliberate administration of ketamine by a licensed medical doctor for the treatment of treatment-resistant depression. If a mod disagrees, I’m happy to delete this post, but I have a question.)

The doctor says that after every administration of ketamine, there is a 2–3 week window of neuroplasticity in which I have the opportunity to work on training myself to be more resistant to stressors and triggers without the influence of emotion and pain. And so I immediately remembered LTU.

The problem that I had when I used to run LTU (and DMSI) was that my subconscious pushed back hard by inflaming the pain in my chest, to the point where I had to stop. Perhaps under the effects of this new treatment LTU would be effective since the treatment would be quieting the tools that my subconscious used to push back.

I am not considering using LTU during the time of my treatment, nor for 24 hours afterwards, as the ketamine would still be in my system. It would be during the weeks afterwards, to help reset my brain to be better, while there was lowered resistance due to the treatment.

So my questions:

1. The LTU page says: “If you ingest caffeine, nicotine, THC or another toxin or drug that normally alters your mental, physical or emotional state, this program will seek to override that state shift and return you to the optimal state in which to achieve the goals of the program.” If I don’t use LTU during when the ketamine is in my system, but only in the emotionally better time following it, that shouldn’t apply, right?

2. Does this strike you as particularly good or bad idea?

I see this as an opportunity to rewire my brain to not behave as it has in the past, and I thought LTU might be a good idea. If this strikes you as a bad idea, or even just too risky, I’m OK with taking a pass on it and proceeding with only traditional therapeutic adjuncts to this therapy, but if not, I’d like to use every tool that I can find to help this work as well as it’s able to.

Thanks.

[Zubrowka]

I have experience from ketamine treatment. I won't say that LTU diminished the effects, not that I could notice at least.

And yes you will get some "breathing time" from your issues after some time. Good advice to work on your issues then. Maybe try running LTU a couple of days after and see how it feels?

[Shannon]

1. The LTU page says: “If you ingest caffeine, nicotine, THC or another toxin or drug that normally alters your mental, physical or emotional state, this program will seek to override that state shift and return you to the optimal state in which to achieve the goals of the program.” If I don’t use LTU during when the ketamine is in my system, but only in the emotionally better time following it, that shouldn’t apply, right?

The effect of the state shifting is only seeking to return your state to optimal for the program to achieve it's goals.  If the Ketamine is not shifting your state, or the state is not interfering with it achieving its goals, then there will be no impact.  But if there is impact, it will be state shifting from that module, not removal of the drug.

On the other hand, if that drug counts as a toxin, it will be removed quickly by the Universal Detox.

2. Does this strike you as particularly good or bad idea?

Neuroplasticity doesn't necessarily mean lowered resistance.  It means more easily re-wiring your neurons.  Neuronal pathways don't necessarily equate to resistance, but I can see the direction you're going in.

This is what you have to consider.  If you are making yourself more neuroplastic, and you use LTU, and your subconscious pushes back, are you re-setting your neurons to a state that is more in line with resistance?

I don't know the answer to that, so I cannot answer your second question.

[whome]

If you are making yourself more neuroplastic, and you use LTU, and your subconscious pushes back, are you re-setting your neurons to a state that is more in line with resistance?

Ooooh. That’s a good point.

I’m wondering if it’s worth trying. This would be an ongoing treatment, so assuming I can get a feel for what LTU is doing, then maybe I can get a sense of whether to continue or not?

Lemme think about it. Thanks for your thoughts.