10-12-2018, 05:36 AM
(10-12-2018, 02:47 AM)mat422 Wrote: Shannon, I know this isn't easy work. It never is solving problems that nobody else has figured out yet. I admire your work ethic, but I see familiar patterns in your actions that lead to burnout. On one hand I know you have a product to deliver, but on the other hand this isn't quite as simple as just running a business. I think part of being successful with anything is knowing when to push and when to back off, and that's a fine line at times.
This isn't a criticism. I just hope to see you get to a point in the future where you don't feel a never-ending pressure. I only ask this because I really relate to these over demanding patterns you exhibit. But do you feel that you might have some undiscovered or lingering beliefs that effect your behavior in this way? I might be wrong about this one, but I also feel as if when most people are under more stress their survival mechanisms kick in. Deep ingrained mechanisms that might have been developed in childhood.
Obviously I don't know you super well, so I might just be getting these impressions based solely on the more stressful aspects of this whole process.
If you think about it a little, you'll see why I feel this pressure. I have customers who like what I am doing so much that they are sometimes a bit crazy for the next release. (That's a good thing.)
I have challenges to solve that nobody else has ever solved.
I have the potential to make this world a much, much better place, relieve a lot of pain, alleviate a lot of suffering, and improve a lot of lives.
Every day I spend resting, people are suffering pain they might not have had to suffer. What if I discover a way to cause the body to turn cancer cells normal again, or overcome a major disease in the future? Those things are within the realms of possible, and in fact probable, with what I'm doing; and if that is true, then what I am doing could potentially not only alleviate suffering, pain, grief, but save lives some day as well.
There is a lot of pressure in doing this, more than you guys realize. The potential power I have in this is amazing, and the responsibility that goes along with it is also amazing. I don't want people to suffer and grieve and die when I could have prevented it. And so I feel like I have a responsibility to humanity to proceed as quickly as possible. The only thing that keeps me from working all the time is...
I can't work and do it right, if I'm not in a good place to do so. And if it's not right, it won't work.
But sometimes, being empathic, I feel the urgency of desire you guys have when you want the Next Big Thing.
I love it that you guys like my work so much that you get this excited. I just have to balance that with staying healthy enough to be able to live up to your expectations. Unfortunately, lately it's hard for me to get enough sleep in some cases. Things have been going wrong for me a lot lately for some very ironic reasons, which leads to anger and frustration, especially if I am tired and even more so if I have low blood sugar. I am trying to lose some weight, and having only two meals a day during the process, with timing restrictions on when I can eat, which leads to hunger and sometimes low blood sugar. And of course everything I need to do to make these things go away or be easy to do is not possible for me, for one reason or another.
So for the time being... I'm just going to follow those rules, and let the chips fall where they may.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
