Aventus's E2 --->DMSI V3.0.1 journey

[DarthXedonias]

Yep, I would agree with Chaos since he gave me similar advice. Pretty much this guy isn't your friend. He "might" have been your friend when you guys were at a similar level of development but as soon as you started leaving him behind he ceased to be your friend. I would suggest, as I have learned from a most recent experience, don't tell anyone else about your future sexual relationships or who you might be interested in if possible (This forum obviously being a exception lol). You might also make a exception if you tell some guy who already has the women side of his life handled already (he probably won't care since hes getting some already) but definitely don't tell future "friends" who have major problems with women.

I'm finding those men seem to be the ones that get the most jealous and are willing to do stuff to sabotage you. Of course when they sabotage you they will try to find some "moral" justification as to why they did it (ex. did it because they watching out for you, didn't want you to go down a dead end, or did it for your own good) even though they know they are doing wrong by you but they don't want to "feel" like the bad guy in all this. As Chaos said, watch your back for now on with these people.

[apollolux]

In my opinion, unless it's extremely relevant one's relationship with another should be kept between those involved. The only way this guy could have known is if you told him or C told him, then the rests was on him. If it was you then as long as you accept your limited culpability for the initial confidence and your eventually unfounded expectation of his secrecy then feel free to berate him for trying to shame you and then cut him off for it if you know you'll eventually accept not having him in your life. He may even come crawling back trying to get in your good graces like DarthXedonias's coworker.

[Aventus45]

Day 42

Contemplating whether or not I should experience the bloom or use the time to heal more.

If I choose to bloom, then I may get more results but Im not in a situation that's really conducive for DMSI. aka I'm not really around that many women. But I'll be in better shape to run 3.1.

If I choose to keep running v3.0.1, then ill heal and clear more issues and I'll be in better shape for the semester. Then after I'll have some potential turbulence with 3.1

[Aventus45]

When my friend messages me about her friend wanting a fuck buddy. I dont know how to respond. The inexperience is real right now haha.

[Aventus45]

Day 43

My friend blew up at me because I overreacted. That entire shit storm happened and drove me to look towards myself through an intense bout of breaking down and crying. I realized my entire life almost has been dictated by the need for validation, escapism, as well as the lack of discipline. So after DMSI v3.2+ or final is released, then I'll run AM6. By that time, I hope the clearing modules can work on whatever it can.

That left me drained as all hell and left me depressed. 3 loops of v3.0.1A stabilized my mood for the duration of the loops.

Day 44

Spent the day working toward my hobby of street photography. I noticed that I was able to get into a really good flow state. I felt really good, confident, and incredibly present while I taking pictures. In the state, I become more reactive as things unfold in front of me. My body language changed and it had this exaggerated swagger to it. 80% of my shots were ass but it didn't matter at the moment.

I am also much bolder this time around. I would take more chances to grab the shot. Even as my subjects looked at me and my camera, I didn't care and I took the picture and walked off. I got the urge to ask some people for a picture which is unlike me at all. When I'm in street photography mode, I snap away and have minimal contact with my subject. I rarely ask but today I did.

This is why I enjoy photography and it brings me satisfaction and joy. Fuck anyone who is going to downplay it.

[DarthXedonias]

Day 43

My friend blew up at me because I overreacted. That entire shit storm happened and drove me to look towards myself through an intense bout of breaking down and crying. I realized my entire life almost has been dictated by the need for validation, escapism, as well as the lack of discipline. So after DMSI v3.2+ or final is released, then I'll run AM6. By that time, I hope the clearing modules can work on whatever it can.

That left me drained as all hell and left me depressed. 3 loops of v3.0.1A stabilized my mood for the duration of the loops.

I wouldn't worry about him, you haven't' really lost anything. You only lost a person who at one time might have added additional value to your life but now he would have been nothing but a weight holding you down as you try to move forward. In my honest opinion, I wouldn't have even talked to him and just ignored him from now on. That's what I did with my co-worker. I only talk to him if its work related and absolutely necessary (Despite him trying to be extra helpful now and trying to get on my good side again). I doubt I would have gotten a good response had I confronted him and with good reason. I will tell you this story not to hijack your thread, which isn't my intention, but maybe it will shed light on your situation and why your "friend" is acting the way he is.

I have a blonde Russian co-worker who I talk to at work (I trust her a lot and she knows to keep her mouth shut). She was sitting in the breakroom one time with co-worker C (person I'm not talking to) and this discussion ensued:

C: "I think Darth is mad with me".
Russian: "Oh really, Why?" (She was acting dumb, I had already told her about the whole situation and she was just fishing for information at this point).
C: *Goes over what he did*
Russian: "Why would you do that?"
C: "I was just looking out for him and trying to make sure he didn't go down a dead end".
Russian: "That wasn't your choice to make though".
C: * Excuse, Excuse, Excuse* "I was just looking out for him".
Russian: "You do know if we were in High school still and you did that people would consider that a betrayal".
C: *Excuse, Moral Justification, Excuse* (You get the idea)

Basically, had I confronted him about this I would have gotten the same garbage of him trying to justify what he did and not accepting any blame. There is where the crutch of the matter is. It has to do with responsibility and a victim mentality. People like this can't accept, good intentions or not, that they fucked you over. This is why he can't bring himself to bring up the issue first. Admitting that he was wrong means that he has to take responsibility and he can't use the victim card, so he won't do it. All he can ever do is try to be extra "helpful" and try things to get back back into my good graces because then he doesn't have to admit he fucked me over. I don't know your friend but if during your discussion he either (a) Kept on making up excuses or (b) tried to downplay what he did as though your the one over reacting then you have a very big hint that he will never admit he did wrong by you and he wants to play the victim in all this. Best thing to do is move on. People like that will only slow you down as you try to climb the ladder of Self-Development.

[FREAK4LIFE]

Day 43

My friend blew up at me because I overreacted. That entire shit storm happened and drove me to look towards myself through an intense bout of breaking down and crying. I realized my entire life almost has been dictated by the need for validation, escapism, as well as the lack of discipline. So after DMSI v3.2+ or final is released, then I'll run AM6. By that time, I hope the clearing modules can work on whatever it can.

That left me drained as all hell and left me depressed. 3 loops of v3.0.1A stabilized my mood for the duration of the loops.

I wouldn't worry about him, you haven't' really lost anything. You only lost a person who at one time might have added additional value to your life but now he would have been nothing but a weight holding you down as you try to move forward. In my honest opinion, I wouldn't have even talked to him and just ignored him from now on. That's what I did with my co-worker. I only talk to him if its work related and absolutely necessary (Despite him trying to be extra helpful now and trying to get on my good side again). I doubt I would have gotten a good response had I confronted him and with good reason. I will tell you this story not to hijack your thread, which isn't my intention, but maybe it will shed light on your situation and why your "friend" is acting the way he is.

I have a blonde Russian co-worker who I talk to at work (I trust her a lot and she knows to keep her mouth shut). She was sitting in the breakroom one time with co-worker C (person I'm not talking to) and this discussion ensued:

C: "I think Darth is mad with me".
Russian: "Oh really, Why?" (She was acting dumb, I had already told her about the whole situation and she was just fishing for information at this point).
C: *Goes over what he did*
Russian: "Why would you do that?"
C: "I was just looking out for him and trying to make sure he didn't go down a dead end".
Russian: "That wasn't your choice to make though".
C: * Excuse, Excuse, Excuse* "I was just looking out for him".
Russian: "You do know if we were in High school still and you did that people would consider that a betrayal".
C: *Excuse, Moral Justification, Excuse* (You get the idea)

Basically, had I confronted him about this I would have gotten the same garbage of him trying to justify what he did and not accepting any blame. There is where the crutch of the matter is. It has to do with responsibility and a victim mentality. People like this can't accept, good intentions or not, that they ***** you over. This is why he can't bring himself to bring up the issue first. Admitting that he was wrong means that he has to take responsibility and he can't use the victim card, so he won't do it. All he can ever do is try to be extra "helpful" and try things to get back back into my good graces because then he doesn't have to admit he ***** me over. I don't know your friend but if during your discussion he either (a) Kept on making up excuses or (b) tried to downplay what he did as though your the one over reacting then you have a very big hint that he will never admit he did wrong by you and he wants to play the victim in all this. Best thing to do is move on. People like that will only slow you down as you try to climb the ladder of Self-Development.

Bang his mom and then justify the situation by making the exact excuses that he used, back at him!

I am sure that would make sense to him then.

Haha

[Aventus45]

Day 45

Started yesterday by waking up from a KF2 Zombie dreams of very huge proportions. In the dream, I find myself with a group of survivors that are refusing to cooperate with my orders. I'm the only one who knows what's going on and such. Then one of the big zombies grew to a size of a building and I gave up.

Spent the day taking pictures in a workshop hosted by a make camera retailer in my city. Got to play around with some really cool gear. Immense joy in the shooting process as well as getting really cool shots to put up on my Instagram.

Day 46

I started the day feeling extremely drained. My entire workout felt horrible. I came home and took a nap.

I think DMSI just cleared something because I felt what I call the battery effect. I'm sleeping and I had a very quick mini battle then a voice said "let go". Immediately I felt energy from the top of my head down at a rapid and higher frequency. It felt so physically real it was crazy. I could use some insight from Shannon about this feeling.

[Shannon]

I'm not sure what to tell you that you could not already deduce for yourself.

[Aventus45]

Went to some BS workshop for my workplace. I'm fairly okay feeling but then the female coworker comes in, and I feel drained of energy. I'm thinking this is weird because of the contrast of feeling fine and then feeling drained when I see her. She didn't display much attraction either, but she was behind me. I wouldn't know.

When it came time to leave, she was still finishing her paperwork when I walked passed her. We both said bye, but I(in automatic mode) pat her on the head. In my mind, I wasn't thinking at all when I was doing it. I proceeded to do it repeatedly and, after 3 or so pats, she exploded off her seat with a smile on her face, but fist was up, cocked and ready. I haven't messed with her like that in a while. The last time I did, she didn't respond favorably. So there is a difference there.

[Aventus45]

I stopped version A for now to see if I experience any bloom.

On another note, I think my subconscious is manifesting more opportunities to improve my as a photographer. This is my 3rd day this week and second best. Today started of not so well with my friend getting lost and all that jazz. After she met up, I saw a redheaded girl holding shit ton of balloons. In my mind, I was super nervous but she encouraged me to ask for a picture. I ended up taking a pretty dope picture of her as well as getting to hangout with her for the day.

[Aventus45]

According to Chaos, I not only manifested the Redhead today but also sniped the fuck out of her. And it flew right over my damn head!

[Shannon]

I've seen the pics. That body language was unmistakeable CFM. You need to pay more attention. Especially if you're going to be a photographer. I had the same problem, and used photography to force myself to get out and interact with people, and learn how to be aware in the moment and not miss things like that.

[Aventus45]

I've seen the pics. That body language was unmistakeable CFM. You need to pay more attention. Especially if you're going to be a photographer. I had the same problem, and used photography to force myself to get out and interact with people, and learn how to be aware in the moment and not miss things like that.

I do need to work on that as well. DMSI is a good trainer for this type of stuff. The better question is: how did you see the pictures? LOL