DMSI 3.1 and MLS exploration - Ascension to ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)hood

[eternity]

How, overall, has it (the healing in DMSI) affected you so far?

Well, to be completely honest Shannon, I really do not know. If it is indeed working on some deep issues, then the program is putting on a damn good mask to cover up the pain. I believe this is what Chaosvrgn refers to as the morphine drip.

I do know that the possible one-itis I had with a beautiful 10/10 polish girl ( high self esteem, emotionally healthy woman) who I talk to every day had been cleared. A high quality woman such as her doesn't seem like a unicorn anymore. Surely there are other gems of women in Houston.

For the most part, I think sm3, OF, and e2 have done a solid job of sexual related healing. Surely there's more deep within me, though.

If WIP hadn't mentioned that previous incident being indicative of healing, I never would have even thought it to be related to goal # 2 related stuff. I quote you, from my e2 journal:

Damn that naturalizer! lol

[Shannon]

Women never jump from one man to another instantaneously. When she jumps, she'll have long since had that landing strip lined up and been prepared for the landing. Its just that women are usually better liars and deceivers than men, because women are typically better multi-taskers and significantly more subtle and aware of their surroundings than men are.

It's typically weeks or months that she'll have the second guy lined up before leaving the first. Sometimes even years.

And sometimes, she'll even land again in an old airfield she used to call her home base. Don't be that guy.

[eternity]

WIP, those are some of the wisest words I've ever heard. And you call it exactly like it is, by saying I'm too hard on myself.

I didn't think I revealed THAT much, but your post is bang on in many ways. Thanks for sharing that.

And Shannon, you bet she had this guy lined up. I recognized something was up when she all of a sudden spent so much time on her phone during the last week!!! But my old beta self? Lol. Well, that's why I did AM6

You are sure right on not being that guy. Lol. :/ :/ :/

[eternity]

I'm going to meet this girl with an empty ass stomach. We're going to get lunch so she's probably going to be bombed with the aura as we eat! Will report back tonight.

[eternity]

So, that date was a bust. Didn't really feel ANY attraction. She isn't as pretty as her pictures, and is fatter than she seems in pics. Her personality is nice, but we had no chemistry.

Interestingly enough, a couple hours before I met her, I get a text from the other girl asking to meet tonight. So I said ya cool. So I went on two dates today. Second one was dope. Free spirited girl, loads of attraction, loads of fun. Hand holding, kissing. She was dtf too. She asked how I would bring someone back to the place I was staying at. I said I wouldn't, as it would be disrespectful to my friend who is letting me stay at his spare room on the roof. That's where I f****ed up. I should have said I would bring them to a hotel. Lol. Anyway she wants to meet tomorrow too. I don't think it will go down, I might have blown my chance with her. But we will see.

The idgaf is strong. I feel like it hindered me today, on both dates. I definitely have self cock blocking tendencies that the sub needs more time to work on.

I didn't feel the aura project. I didn't feel autopilot. I even got major disrespected from the guy I got a train ticket from. He made fun of me for not reading the signs to get where I need to get. I told him the ridiculing is unnecessary.

I actually kind of feel sad or depressed. Like I'm crashing from a high. I only slept 2 hrs in the past 48, so that might contribute to it. But it's likely resistance.

Whatever, lol. I'm in a f*** it I'm over it mood, for no apparent reason at all lol

[Shannon]

Lack of sleep degrades functionality and judgement ability. It's not resistance. It's exhaustion. Go sleep.

[4Kingdoms]

Interestingly enough, a couple hours before I met her, I get a text from the other girl asking to meet tonight. So I said ya cool. So I went on two dates today. Second one was dope. Free spirited girl, loads of attraction, loads of fun. Hand holding, kissing. She was dtf too. She asked how I would bring someone back to the place I was staying at. I said I wouldn't, as it would be disrespectful to my friend who is letting me stay at his spare room on the roof. That's where I f****ed up. I should have said I would bring them to a hotel. Lol. Anyway she wants to meet tomorrow too. I don't think it will go down, I might have blown my chance with her. But we will see.

You don't think it will go down?? Seriously??

You aren't being needy (idgf attitude) and you showed respect for the friend you are staying with!! Like you said, "We will see..."

[eternity]

4k, i don't think it will go down because she threw herself at me, basically said take me now, and i didn't take her right there and then. so would she think it'd be worth it tomorrow? she even sounded like she was kind of second guessing herself on whether we would actually meet tomorrow. that's why i say i doubt it would go down.

ok gotta go sleep, XD i'm done living on the edge for today.

[JackOfHearts]

Your journal is refreshing to read, it's like there is an aura of charisma leaking through your words. Your writing didn't appear that way to me before. I noticed the same thing when you answered me last time on the other thread. Maybe I'm crazy ....

[Benjamin]

So, that date was a bust. Didn't really feel ANY attraction. She isn't as pretty as her pictures, and is fatter than she seems in pics. Her personality is nice, but we had no chemistry.

I swear nearly every single girl online has the superpower of taking awesome photos. I mean one's who are obviously attractive and show the whole body, usually okay.

But then others who don't show the body but also still don't look fat with the angle are always fat, sometimes massively so. Also if they have photos where in each one she looks way different it's not a good sign.

And these fucking snapchat filters, there is one that changes the color and it also makes their face look way skinnier. There's a few girls in town I know who are pretty fat, but I see their photos with this filter and they don't look like it at all.

A while ago I was annoyed to message this girl on POF who looked attractive in the photos. But then I realized it was a girl from the gym who's group i'd talked to briefly who was pretty fat but in her photos she looked pretty attractive, both old photos and good angles. So much so I had no idea it was her when I messaged her.

[eternity]

So, that date was a bust. Didn't really feel ANY attraction. She isn't as pretty as her pictures, and is fatter than she seems in pics. Her personality is nice, but we had no chemistry.

I swear nearly every single girl online has the superpower of taking awesome photos. I mean one's who are obviously attractive and show the whole body, usually okay.

But then others who don't show the body but also still don't look fat with the angle are always fat, sometimes massively so. Also if they have photos where in each one she looks way different it's not a good sign.

And these ***** snapchat filters, there is one that changes the color and it also makes their face look way skinnier. There's a few girls in town I know who are pretty fat, but I see their photos with this filter and they don't look like it at all.

A while ago I was annoyed to message this girl on POF who looked attractive in the photos. But then I realized it was a girl from the gym who's group i'd talked to briefly who was pretty fat but in her photos she looked pretty attractive, both old photos and good angles. So much so I had no idea it was her when I messaged her.

I am learning to not trust pictures anymore. Even the pretty girl from last night looked a lot different than her pictures. She got a little bigger from the pics (tho in the pics she is thin as hell, and she's an excellent size now). Female manipulation of the male mind has entered society thru pics now lol.

1) girls who post pics of just their eye balls are obese. Not just fat. I have seen this to be the case, in 100% of eyeball photos.

2) girls who only post pictures of herself looking at the camera with the same facial pose, is likely not attractive, but found out the best way to portray herself, so she abuses that angle.

3) girls who only post their face are overweight

4) girls who use snapchat filters? First of all, they piss me off. Lol. Second of all, what are they trying to hide? These filters completely change the way you look, so it's clear to me they're hiding something. I haven't observed this often enough to make a conclusion though.

5) there's a feature on android phones (maybe iPhone too) called Beautify Face. You can usually tell a woman uses this when her skin is alarmingly smooth looking, or there's some type of symmetry that seems a little "off", like on the lips or nose. One girl I know uses this feature and all her pics make a 1cm portion of her upper lip look like it fused into her lower lip.

6) a woman standing with her body 45 degrees from the camera, and one of her arms fully touching her body somehow is either a) making her tits look bigger. B) pushing in her fat to look thinner.

IF you use a blue blocker app, like twilight for the phone or f.lux for pc.... you will immediately notice pictures that have been altered by editing apps. When you are looking thru red tinted screen, pictures will look incredibly artificial. This actually drives me to dislike women and their manipulation. ...... (guess I have more healing to do!)

[eternity]

Your journal is refreshing to read, it's like there is an aura of charisma leaking through your words. Your writing didn't appear that way to me before. I noticed the same thing when you answered me last time on the other thread. Maybe I'm crazy ....

Thanks brother! Someone mentioned that the way I wrote had changed noticeably while I was on BASE. Its entirely possible that carried over, and DMSI is making it shine

[eternity]

I ended up not meeting her again. I made no attempt whatsoever to do so. I tell myself that Idgaf, but is that 100% true? My SubC is notorious for fuqqing up golden opportunities.

Talked with Leo, he suggested that I need to really be comfortable with the notion that sex and procreation are two sides of the same coin. And if the trauma from the past is still haunting me, it will hold me back. So it's possible I'm hiding behind the IDGAF, when really I'm a pussy when it comes to getting pussy. I'm not placing all my bets on this scenario, but it's possible. Ideally, I should be comfortable with the fact that my seed has the capability of producing offspring. That is it's design! But just because I had a trauma regarding the situation doesn't mean I should allow myself to hide. It's like sicko would say, experience and going further with her, despite the fear, will aggressively deal with the fear. I have a lot to learn.

In other news, I get onto the plane in 24 hours. Can't wait. 2 hot blondes coming to get me from the Houston airport (one of them is the FWB from my sm3 run, though our fwb was peacefully dissolved when I left to India). Let's see how the aura affects them

And everyone else I know in Houston, for that matter. Lol.


Additionally, I do believe my charisma really has increased, as alpha360 pointed out. I was talking in a group setting today, and felt my speaking was pretty charged with charisma. Loved it! Emotionally charged speech. I Bet the women would love it. also, yesterday I conducted a presentation to 500 college first years, and I was ultimately charismatic then too! Yep, Eternitys_Child still has the gift of gab on the podium! It'd be nice if that gift was the same in 1 on 1 interactions

[Inconceivablezen]

Your journal is refreshing to read, it's like there is an aura of charisma leaking through your words. Your writing didn't appear that way to me before. I noticed the same thing when you answered me last time on the other thread. Maybe I'm crazy ....

I told him this exact thing too privately on FB. It's BASE that brought out his charisma