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Need help with choosing my next sub - Simon - 01-07-2018 02:04 PM

Hi, I'm back after a long time of not visiting the forum.

I wasn't actively keeping up a journal but I have done about 6 months of E1 and 4 months of E2 without breaks in between. After that I took a long break of around a year from subs and tried several other healing modalities without playing any subs.

Now I'm looking to get back into subs and trying to find out what the best sub for me would be now. I've made a lot of progression, although still am not where I want to be.

I was content with EPHRA, in that it made me start taking care of my health in ways like never before. It made me go back to the drawing board and install new healthy habits. I choose EPHRA since I wanted to clean out all the emotional garbage before trying a sub like AM, since the theory is that this will lower resistance while on AM. It did a lot for me on the physical cleansing part and also some emotional improvements but I feel that the same fundamental issues in me are still there, they only have become less in strength. Generally speaking I'm doing pretty good most days, but there's a lot of room for improvement still.

So far I can see there are a lot of new products now and it would be nice to get some advise on which sub would be the best choice for me now. I'll try to paint the picture of my current state in detail so I can get some good advice. I've researched all day on the forum, but still not sure which choice would be best.

The things I want to improve on with my next sub:

- Feeling stressed/anxious when sitting at a table with other people and communicating, like during lunch. I feel uncomfortable speaking out loud and being in the center of attention. This sometimes gets as bad as making my heart pound in my chest. Other times I'm more relaxed and playful, and can be somewhat relaxed, when I'm more in control of my emotions on good days.
However there's always a baseline of stress when being around people and communicating with them, especially in these situations where more than 2 eyes are looking at me. This stresses me out for some reason. It feels like everyone can really look at me and see that I'm a bit anxious. When talking to just one person I feel uncomfortable holding eye contact. I feel vulnerable and afraid of people's judgement of me.

- Somehow I've managed to get a somewhat high position in a startup company, I was kinda lucky for this opportunity tbh plus I did a great job so my boss gave me a change. This shows the improvement I've already made. For example I used to get panic attacks in a lot of social situations. That never really happens anymore, only at meetings where I have to speak in a group. This is what I need to improve. It's now impossible for me to speak calmly in these settings.

- Women aren't my focus, because I want to focus on my self-improvement first. But for the greater picture. I don't have a lot of confidence with girls. It's because I feel very vulnerable. Rejection lingers on in me for a long time, I think because it resonates with some limiting beliefs I still carry.

- I'm not feeling comfortable speaking out loud. I lie a lot because I'm afraid of conflicts, when there is one I direct my anger inwards instead of expressing it. I feel like I'm not good enough. General a low self-esteem about myself in social settings. I compare myself a lot. When there's an alpha personality in the room I get triggered immensely and feel bad about myself, not feeling good enough.

- Troubles with authoritative figures, they instate fear in me. I feel inferior.

- Holding eye contact is hard on most days, some days are better

- I experience lack of self-esteem. It's in my family, all of my direct family members have this trait. I haven't had a severe traumatic youth. On a lot of parts I'm pretty confident about my abilities, such as: Intellectual, musical, career-wise. So it's not that I'm not confident about my abilities. When I'm alone I feel good, but when around people I feel I'm on guard all the time instead of really enjoying others people presence and conversations. I'm not as playful as I would like to be.

- I would love to speak my mind totally comfortable around people and not feeling so insecure and vulnerable and always a bit shied away and not saying too much, cause I feel bad when I "make a mistake" and say something stupid or whatever.

- Getting triggered when other people are laughing at me or making fun of me. Feeling very uncomfortable when this happens.

- Generally I feel good and I have mostly good days these times, I have a pretty good baseline now. But still I feel that a lot of my behavior is some sort of managing strategy that manages the issues I still feel inside of me. I'm pretty good at acting cool and confident at work, while deep down I'm still afraid and feel vulnerable.

So I'm really looking for something to give me permanent results in the long run and improve upon the things as described above.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, feels good to be back on this forum!

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Benjamin - 01-07-2018 03:22 PM

It's still early, but Self Esteem 5.5g is getting good reports so far. Sounds like it would be directly applicable to what you're talking about.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Simon - 01-08-2018 10:00 AM


Would you say that this is a sub that brings limiting beliefs/emotions/themes to the surface that causes the low-self esteem? I mean there must be things like psychological trauma that causes low self-esteem? Not that I experienced a traumatic childhood. But my understanding so far is that something needs to be healed in order for self-esteem to become a natural state.

During my EPHRA run I was thinking about doing Overcoming Fear after EPHRA, since that would bring up and heal a lot of my fears. Since I thought fear is keeping me from obtaining self-esteem. But now I'm not sure.

I will strongly consider your advice, but would be nice to also see some other forum members chime in.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Shannon - 01-08-2018 10:32 AM

I agree with Benjamin, SE is very much applicable to what you're dealing with.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Simon - 01-09-2018 12:16 AM

Thanks Shannon,

Could you please elaborate a bit about SE and why you think that for me it's a better choice than starting AM6, DMSI, OF, or ARA?
There hasn't been much reports on SE yet since it so new, would love to learn more about your thought process behind seeing SE as the best option for me now compared to the other options.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Shannon - 01-09-2018 03:00 PM

Self Esteem is basically the one thing you most lack to be having those responses. AM6 is a very good program, but it's focus is very different and complex. DMSI 3.1 and below will not have SE in them; 3.2+ will, but again, as a module and not as the whole focus. OF isn't going to deal with your core issue as well. ARA is also not going to deal with your core issue as well.

If you want to try something else, DMSI 3.2+ will have a SE module, and ARA is good for in the moment and long term use, and is a much more powerful program than OF. But I still believe you would be best served by SE right now.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Simon - 01-10-2018 11:07 AM


I've made the decision to go with SE, just bought myself a copy and am now playing it as we speak.
I'm gonna keep up a journal and post when I notice interesting things.

I see that you should use this sub for 6 loops each day. More than 6 loops is not recommended?

Also it states that it should be used for three months. For a minimum? Or after three months I'm ready for my next sub?

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Benjamin - 01-10-2018 03:26 PM

Yes you want to stick to 6 loops. The only program for now that is open to experimentation with loops is DMSI 3.1.

3 months is a minimum.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Simon - 01-11-2018 11:45 AM

Thanks Ben,

So, noob question here:
What's the difference between: (Trickling_Stream_Silent) and (Trickling_Stream)?
Also I got the (Ocean_Surf_Silent) in my downloaded zip file with all the flac files. What does Silent mean in this context? I couldn't find any info about it.

RE: Need help with choosing my next sub - Benjamin - 01-11-2018 03:06 PM

The hybrid files e.g tricking stream/silent are masked and ultrasonic layered and are more powerful. They do contain the same content as others though.

This thread might help too