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+--- Thread: Transcendent Sith Lord's DMSI 3.3 D Journal (/Thread-Transcendent-Sith-Lord-s-DMSI-3-3-D-Journal)
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - Benjamin - 01-26-2018
Yep.. the SJW stuff is getting out of control. Luckily the only place I really see it is online, mainly on facebook and it does my head in enough so I try to limit my exposure now.
But the thought of working in an office or going to a university where these idiots are everywhere sounds horrible.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 01-27-2018
(01-26-2018, 11:44 PM)Benjamin Wrote: Yep.. the SJW stuff is getting out of control. Luckily the only place I really see it is online, mainly on facebook and it does my head in enough so I try to limit my exposure now.
But the thought of working in an office or going to a university where these idiots are everywhere sounds horrible.
Yeah, its really bad at the moment. Once upon a time the universities might have been a place of thought provoking discussion and where you could probably grow by having your views challenged but not anymore, at least in the U.S. I don't know if things are just as bad in in Australian or European universities but its pretty darn awful here. I might still attend and finish up my degree just to get it and have a easier time but if I can do it without the degree that would be much better for me mentally. I don't think I will get brainwashed or anything but having to sit in a class and listen to a bunch of people straight out of highschool, who barely know anything of how the real world works, sprout off nonsense about how it is or think they should shutdown people who don't agree with them is starting to grate on my nerves.
For example, in L.A. there was a women who attended a protest and marched all the way until she tried to block a highway in protest. You read right, not a intersection, a highway. Needless to say she got hit by a car. Instead of learning her lesson she is now suing the university for "not stopping herself from protesting" at the highway. Please, had they stopped her she would have claimed that they were preventing her from expressing her right to free speech. Its like you can't win with these people, they want you to take responsibility for their bad/stupid decisions.
With that out of the way something interesting did happen last night and it contains a component of the dreams I've been having that I didn't mention in the last post. This dream actually has great emotional significance for me so that's why i'm telling it. Essentially, in it I ended up visiting one of the Petty Officers ,who was over me during Navy bootcamp, at his home. I saw his wife and many of his kids running around. We ended up going to another room because I wanted to tell him something personal about my experience in the Navy. The thing you should know about this guy is that his personality was practically like that of Logan played by Hugh Jackman. Pretty straightforward and kind of bad ass. Though he had other things like him frequently cheating on his wife with someone else (mind you I don't put much idea in monogamy myself though I believe if you don't believe in it you should be honest about it).
Usually not a very sympathetic guy by any means.
Anyway, I told him about my bad experiences and even the fact that I had thought about suicide while I was in. I literally felt myself (inside and outside the dream) feeling intense sadness and grief. Surprisingly when I looked at him his eyes were full sympathy and compassion. He actually told me he had changed. He wasn't running around with other women anymore, was dedicated to his family and good causes now. It kind of showed because there was something different in his demeanor and the way he carried himself now. I felt some kind of release about this whole thing for some reason. Now right after this release his older daughter, who I hadn't seen up to this pointed, walked in the room. I think everything before this point was the healing/clearing in DMSI and then this next part has to do with the main part of executing the script. She walks in the room and I notice how hot and beautiful she is. I start getting turned on and she looks down at my pelvic region.
Within seconds I can tell shes interested in me and says, "Can I help you with Anything" in a sexy voice. I kind of decline shyly but she doesn't get turned off by it and simply walks out the room. I turn to him and he actually seems like he would approve of me dating his daughter. I wake up at this point. Once thing I noticed in this dream and has been a recurring thing is the fact that often I will on some level know i'm dreaming and then I will toss and turn in order to wake myself up (usually during uncomfortable parts). Despite myself feeling a certain part of me trying frantically to wake myself up its like something is keeping me from escaping the dream until something is dealt with (Could be "The Wall" component i'm guessing). After everything is done I will quickly bolt up in my bed after waking up.
I felt a good amount of emotional release after that dream and I felt like one of the ideas is that people can change. Some of those people that I previously hated could have changed or not and I may never know. Point is there's no point in hold on to the hate and anger. I've actually turned to looking at the positive times I've had during my service instead of the negative now for the past couple of hours. Don't know why but this feels significant.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - Benjamin - 01-27-2018
Quote:For example, in L.A. there was a women who attended a protest and marched all the way until she tried to block a highway in protest. You read right, not a intersection, a highway. Needless to say she got hit by a car. Instead of learning her lesson she is now suing the university for "not stopping herself from protesting" at the highway. Please, had they stopped her she would have claimed that they were preventing her from expressing her right to free speech. Its like you can't win with these people, they want you to take responsibility for their bad/stupid decisions.
Wow.. I hope she gets laughed out of court for being an idiot and counter sued for wasting their fucking time.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - Shannon - 01-29-2018
(01-27-2018, 08:24 PM)Benjamin Wrote:Quote:For example, in L.A. there was a women who attended a protest and marched all the way until she tried to block a highway in protest. You read right, not a intersection, a highway. Needless to say she got hit by a car. Instead of learning her lesson she is now suing the university for "not stopping herself from protesting" at the highway. Please, had they stopped her she would have claimed that they were preventing her from expressing her right to free speech. Its like you can't win with these people, they want you to take responsibility for their bad/stupid decisions.
Wow.. I hope she gets laughed out of court for being an idiot and counter sued for wasting their ***** time.
The concept of personal responsibility is rapidly vanishing as government tries to keep idiots safe from themselves and succeeds through passing ever more asinine laws to do so.
But I'm here to change that. Personal responsibility is in the skeleton script, and with The Wall, get ready to take some fucking responsibility, people!
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-08-2018
Well, thought I would update since some other stuff has gone on since last update:
Porn- Well, finally faltered in not watching any porn. Though I will say this is the longest I've gone without watching any (probably like a month to month and a half). The fact that just the TID from 3.2 was able to achieve this does amaze me. The way it happened though was out of no where I started to constantly think about watching it and there was this inner conflict. I felt like a certain part in my mind was literally screaming, "No, don't do it" but there was another part that felt like it was nudging me conscientiously. The interesting thing was the way it won out. The argument was basically, "Well, once 3.2 is out I won't have a choice in the matter anyway so might as well indulge". I don't know how to feel about that argument. On the one hand its a negative that I relapsed but at the same time I could see a positive if that arguement had a ring of truth to it. Basically, seems like the subconscious is like, "Well I can't do shit once those "WALLS" close up so might as well for now". Like there is this sense of inevitability that the games are over with.
Sex Drive- Along those lines its also like I've been getting super horny out of no where. Don't know how to interpret this new development.
Concerning thoughts on women- I don't know where this new attitude has come from but I have this new thought pattern if there is a women I want I can have her no problem. Like there is no if's, and's, or but's about it. I've also been thinking about women I've met in the past that are still in my area but don't see to them often due to not having contact information and them leaving jobs where we previously worked. I almost have this indescribable feeling that I will run into those women again while on 3.2. I'm especially thinking of 2 of them who in some subtle/non-subtle ways that they are interested but I was too busy self sabotaging myself at the time or ignoring those signs completely. I do think if possible when 3.2 comes out I might have another chance to have an opportunity with those women. Another funny thing was while I was having these feelings of these events taking place I just so happened to find out that the Arabic women who went cold on me last semester after all those signs actually has a class that starts at the same time as one of my classes in the same building. This will be interesting since I'm pretty sure she was the long range sniper target and seemed to be the one that got hit full force by the aura on 3.1. Will be nice to see how 3.2 hits her and if she tries to mend the relationship in some way due to it.
Heat- I've gotten random bouts of my heart beating very rapidly and my body discharging heat at least 3 times now. This is when the temperature in the area not being a valid explanation for that.
That's pretty much everything except for one last issue. It took me a while to notice but I haven't really been going outside lately at all. I just stay home all day. Its like If I need to go outside for someone (mainly faraway) I just have this feeling of "I don't want to be around people right now". Its actually getting quite obsessive. The funny thing though is when I force myself to go out to do something its like I feel no anxiety or anything of the sort. Its almost like the subconscious is fooling me with this illusion of "you don't want to go out there, its not safe, people are just going to annoy you" and then when I get out there I feel no negatives (anxiety, etc) and people are acting generally more friendly or going out of their way to help me. Its like once I actually get out there I'm able to see the illusion for what it is. Don't know, probably just some way of the subconscious to resist the TID I guess. I'm guessing it doesn't have anymore trick up the sleeves so its most likely trying to keep me from experiencing anything in the first place by influencing me not to go outside much.
Since TID is nothing but ripples from when you actually use the program I'm guessing when I actually run the program it will be so strong I won't have to worry about this non motivation to go outside. Other than that the only resist type things I've noticed is the 2 times I had almost had panic attacks (when thinking about achieving the goals of 3.2) and having random, brief ideas of running another sub in the mean time which makes no sense to me since 3.2 will probably release within probably 2 or 3 weeks. One other thing that I found as a interesting side note though is that even though I won't be able to move out yet for a while, I found out my mother will be going on some road trip for weeks this month. I just find it very interesting that 3.2 will probably be out this month and at the same time she decides to go on some road trip around the country. Its almost like I won't even have to worry about logistics if I did reach the design goals. I find this to be too much of a coincidence.
Anyway, that is all for now. See ya guys later.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-09-2018
Actually while thinking about it I remembered 2 very important things I forgot to mention that have actually been very profound. Both of them were actual very extreme paradigm shifts in the way I think about relationships and women's behavior in general:
Relationships: Interesting it feels like my views on relationships have changed. I feel like if I were to get in a 'relationship" ( I use that term loosely) I would't feel obligated to work on it if I seriously wasn't getting anything out of it or if my needs in the relationship (IE sex, etc) weren't getting met. I'm starting to think guys get especially needy because of fear that they are going to be alone for some reason. So they will work more on a relationship even though that relationship has not served their needs for a long time in fear that they won't be able to find another chick. Lately I've been reading/watching a lot of stuff on evolution and evolutionary psychology. Until a few weeks ago I hadn't really looked up on this subject at all and yet because of it my views on things have changed substantially. Some of the idea of the original social contract was the men brings security and resources and inexchange the women brings sexual access and the ability to have children. Obviously some of this has changed but I think about this and how people keep saying , "Well there's more important things than sex in a relationship". I've gotten to the point where its like I realize it is not a "need" but at the same time it doesn't mean that that desire for physical contact is not important. Who gets in a relationship with the idea of being emotionally intimate but not physically intimate at all? Pretty much no one and yet I have this feeling that men are suppose to keep of their side of the deal many times but its like they get little to nothing in return. It seems to me the guys who are most successful keep this in mind and don't mind letting a women go if all she is doing it taking in such a relationship but doing little to nothing in return. It feels like I have gone from pie in the sky Disney like in my thoughts on relationships, then kind of jaded and angry, to now having a more transactional idea to any relationship I might have. If I feel i'm not getting something of equal worth or higher out of the deal then I will leave the table honestly and go looking somewhere else.
Females in general: Along with all this study science over the last couple of weeks I feel like my views on women have changed as well. Before, like most people here I take it, as a child I got the normal indoctrination of women as harmless, beautiful creatures that can do no wrong. I then after all the years so how just wrong that idea is from personal experience and seeing things done to others. I think as I mentioned earlier in my journal this came with a bunch of anger and resentment as well when realizing this. I think though after the last few weeks with my reading I have just gotten to the conclusion it is what it is. Males have a dark side to themselves and female nature has a dark side as well. Sure, there are incentives and decentralizes push by the government that help these things along (in the bad way IE bias divorce courts, etc) but in the end it is just reality. This also doesn't means there aren't men and women who have self knowledge about their more primal motivations and with that self knowledge try to pursue self mastery. There are those people its just that they are very few because making that jump from no self knowledge, to self knowledge, then to self mastery actually requires responsibility and most people avoid that shit like the plague. With this new knowledge I think I have more healthy view of women in general.
Anyway, that was something important that's been going on that I thought I should share. Been a major change in thinking for me the past few weeks.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - Benjamin - 02-09-2018
Quote:I think about this and how people keep saying , "Well there's more important things than sex in a relationship".
Why do I feel like the people who say this are either women who are trying to manipulate men with sex or men who aren't getting any? Funny isn't it.
Yes sex isn't the ONLY thing.. but it's a pretty important thing to me and a good relationship can't function without good sex.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-09-2018
(02-09-2018, 04:16 PM)Benjamin Wrote:Quote:I think about this and how people keep saying , "Well there's more important things than sex in a relationship".
Why do I feel like the people who say this are either women who are trying to manipulate men with sex or men who aren't getting any? Funny isn't it.
Yes sex isn't the ONLY thing.. but it's a pretty important thing to me and a good relationship can't function without good sex.
Yep, you pointed out 2 types of people who make that argument though I have different reasons why they do this. The type of men I hear this argument from are usually men in relationships who ,as you say, aren't getting any. Honestly, I think they do this in a defensive way. They don't want to admit their relationship isn't meeting their desires so they throw that argument out there. They probably don't want to put any blame on this on the woman either because they probably been indoctrinated with the whole "the woman is always right" garbage.
For the women I think they use this often as, you say, a manipulation tactic but also as a shaming tactic as well. I see it mainly as a way that they don't have to fulfill any of their partners desires in the relationship. Lets face it pretty much the idea of Person B in the relationship expecting person A to uphold all their responsibilities and obligations but when it comes time for person B to uphold their side they either renegade or give in as less as possible. A guy who isn't a cuck would just realize whats going on and totally leave the dealing table totally but you have too many men who would stay thinking if they only "keep giving more" the other person on the other side of the table will start up holding their end. Of course when they bring the subject up and she uses that shaming language they automatically feel ashamed for their own desires and don't do anything more about it. Kind of stupid in my opinion, especially since I've seen guys figuratively walk away from the table and the woman soon actually starts want to start fulfilling what he desires in the relationship.
Like you I think I've realized that my desires are just as valid and reasonable in such a relationship and if your one of those women who want to keep on taking but never given in return. That you think your mere presence in the relationship is good enough, guess what? There's the door and don't let it hit you on the way out. I kind of new this to be true for a while but to fully embrace it took a while. I think this is probably because growing up I had a blue pilled step father who did the exact thing you should not do above and this literally got to the point where he was sleeping on the couch every night and probably only got sex like once or twice a year for several years. Despite this he still kept on coming back to the table thinking something would change. That sooner or later my mother would realize all the work hes done for the family and she would realize the error of her ways. -snort- wishful thinking honestly.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-14-2018
Well, thought I would report in since there have been 3 things that have happened so far, 2 of which have never happened ever.
The first is something that is similar to something someone else reported months ago. I think they said something about being on 3.1 and driving one night. They looked to the side while they were driving down the street and they saw a woman completely naked on her front porch. I didn't quite have it that extreme but I was driving to go take my IT certification test and I looked to the side and this woman was bending over in a dress and I could pretty much see everything. I have never, ever had this happen to me before in my entire life.Maybe a foreshadowing of things to come? eh, I'm inclined to think so based on the other thing that happened.
The next thing to happen was that some guy came up to our apartment with a Chinese order. My mother thought I had ordered it and I thought she had. The guy was in a hurry to just get his tip and leave. Once we found out neither of us ordered it my mom went running after the guy to tell him. Basically, we could have gotten a free meal, granted it would have probably hurt the guys standing at his job. Main thing is though is this has never happened either. I don't know, 2 things that have never happened before in my life and they so happen to happen in the week leading up to 3.2. Too much of a coincidence in my opinion.
The third thing is in regard to the porn/masturbation issue. After that first time ever of not watching any porn though I think masturbation was still an issue I gave in like I said in another post. The weird thing was it felt like I just went binge watching during that time for some for the next few days after that. I can't fathom why I had that response. Though suddenly, about 2-3 days ago I started getting that urge not to watch or masturbate, then of course the masturbate thing comes up again, then its not long after that the urge to watch porn again comes up. Usually at that point it likes there are 2 voices in my head fighting over what to do. Gave in again and then it was like I binged watch again for some odd reason. I think I am starting to figure out what is going on there and if I'm right I think when I start actually running 3.2 it should be solved. I think its a connection between 3 things.
I think what is happening is my mind is making me feel very much not like being around people at the moment (being very avoidant of people, even though when I go out there is no anxiety or anything). So I end up staying home like all day unless I really, really need to go out for something. Since I'm home and there is only so much to do then the temptation to masturbate comes up. once I give into that its not too long (maybe a day or 2 based on last time) before the urge to watch porn comes up. Once I give into that its like I go on some porn watching binge. I think I've heard of people with bulimia having similar responses, where they stay away from eating food or eating too much.. then before you know it they give in and they start gorging on food. They get sick, throw up and the cycle starts over again. I think this will fix itself when 3.2 comes out because I remember when I was running 3.1 I would go out a lot more often and not be at home as often as I am now. This whole thing kind of reminds me of when Shannon commented on my dream regarding food. Its like a part of my subconscious is casting the illusion (of danger) that I really don't want to go outside and unmotivate me from doing so but when I am forced to go outside its like I notice that it was nothing but an illusion because I feel no anxiety around people or fear for the most part. I think this will hopefully solve itself when I'm actually running the program.
-Edit- Almost completely forgot to mention something. About 3-5 days ago I kept on getting this feeling in my head that felt like reality bending for some reason except it was much stronger. I've had this feeling on "slightly" over the last few weeks but this time it was something major and somewhat annoying. I was laying down in my bed and it didn't matter if I was trying to fall asleep or not, it felt like I would slowly being falling into something then it was like I got jerked back in reality for lack of a better term. I noticed whenever this would happen I would see a lot more clearer and I would feel there was something different about my surroundings. I could be just laying there, trying to fall asleep, or somewhat day dream (which is becoming rarer these days) and it would still happen. Felt very familiar to how reality bending felt on 3.1 except on 3.1 I would just stop what I was doing and noticed what was happening. This one felt more powerful in that it felt like I was getting jerked back or my body got impacted somewhat by something. Not sure what that was all about but thought I would mention it.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-14-2018
Oh totally forgot something really important that I've known for a while but keep on forgetting to put up. As you guys know I have been trying to move out for a while now but still have to wait a few more months until everything is set to go. Well, about 2 months ago my mother said she was planing on doing a trip in either January or February. When she mention this the first time I thought, "Hmm this is odd, I wonder if this is being set up possibly due to some TID effect from 3.2". Anyway, she recently reminded me and I'm pretty sure this confirms my suspicions. She said she was leaving this coming Wednesday and won't be back til the 2nd. So gone for like a week and 2 days. What really stood out to me though was that the day she leaves is the day exactly after Shannon is planning to release 3.2. This is way too much of a coincidence and it looks like things are setting themselves up so that logistics won't be a issue. Seeing as this is only the second time she has ever took a trip away and it just so happens to coincide the day after when 3.2 is suppose to launch seems too good to be true. Another thing that just happened today was I got a text from a girl I "used" to be interested in saying she changed her number. Eh, not as into this girl as I used to because before I think she tried to get me into the beta orbiter crap (which I admit at the time I somewhat fell partially for) but I do find it interesting that this is happening now of all things. Too many things happening this past week and in the upcoming week honestly (Well, saw the message today, it was actually sent Monday at 8pm. Don't know if that might coincide with scripting Shannon put in 3.2 that day).Something is at work here.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-18-2018
Only a few days til release but there has been some bad stuff come up.
I don't know what is going on but I'm starting to get the "fear" again. Last night I was on the internet again and thinking about the release of 3.2 and if I might achieve the goals of the program. Almost immediately I start getting this almost paralyzing fear again. It like this idea of, "I need to run something else, I don't think I should run this (3.2) for a while". I just sat still and tried to calm myself down and unlike last time this lasted for about 2 hours. I woke up today quite a bit better but I still feel this lingering fear and compulsion to run something else at times. I don't know what is going on with this. This is the 3rd time I have experienced something like this but its the strongest one yet. Just have to make sure I keep on track, wait til release, and not doing something stupid like running another sub (mainly it was pushing to run 3.1 even though I know for a fact that I have reverse resisted that to hell at this point).
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - 4Kingdoms - 02-18-2018
(02-18-2018, 01:52 PM)DarthXedonias Wrote: Only a few days til release but there has been some bad stuff come up.
I don't know what is going on but I'm starting to get the "fear" again. Last night I was on the internet again and thinking about the release of 3.2 and if I might achieve the goals of the program. Almost immediately I start getting this almost paralyzing fear again. It like this idea of, "I need to run something else, I don't think I should run this (3.2) for a while". I just sat still and tried to calm myself down and unlike last time this lasted for about 2 hours. I woke up today quite a bit better but I still feel this lingering fear and compulsion to run something else at times. I don't know what is going on with this. This is the 3rd time I have experienced something like this but its the strongest one yet. Just have to make sure I keep on track, wait til release, and not doing something stupid like running another sub (mainly it was pushing to run 3.1 even though I know for a fact that I have reverse resisted that to hell at this point).
This is why Shannon was determined to build "THE WALL" module!! You'll be fine once you start listening to 3.2!!
From what I understand, the wall will prevent you from "stopping & running" another subliminal title until you execute version 3.2!!
https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Men-s-Journals-Shannon-s-Journal-Discussion-Volume-2-?pid=191299#pid191299
(02-26-2018, 10:22 PM)eternity Wrote: Can someone link me to information about the wall, if any exists?
(02-27-2018, 08:19 AM)Shannon Wrote: There is none except what I have said about it in this thread.
It's The Wall. It is designed to prevent escape from or otherwise derailing the program to escape or prevent execution.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - DarthXedonias - 02-19-2018
(02-18-2018, 01:59 PM)4Kingdoms Wrote:(02-18-2018, 01:52 PM)DarthXedonias Wrote: Only a few days til release but there has been some bad stuff come up.
I don't know what is going on but I'm starting to get the "fear" again. Last night I was on the internet again and thinking about the release of 3.2 and if I might achieve the goals of the program. Almost immediately I start getting this almost paralyzing fear again. It like this idea of, "I need to run something else, I don't think I should run this (3.2) for a while". I just sat still and tried to calm myself down and unlike last time this lasted for about 2 hours. I woke up today quite a bit better but I still feel this lingering fear and compulsion to run something else at times. I don't know what is going on with this. This is the 3rd time I have experienced something like this but its the strongest one yet. Just have to make sure I keep on track, wait til release, and not doing something stupid like running another sub (mainly it was pushing to run 3.1 even though I know for a fact that I have reverse resisted that to hell at this point).
This is why Shannon was determined to build "THE WALL" module!! You'll be fine once you start listening to 3.2!!
From what I understand, the wall will prevent you from "stopping & running" another subliminal title until you execute version 3.2!!
Thanks 4 kingdoms. Based on last night I think there is more going on than I thought. Another major thing has happened. So, after my last post I still had the lingering fear for quite a while but then I went to sleep last night and I had another major shift. I'm starting to think the fear reaction might have been to running the program in general but it also might have to do with the subconscious knowing what was going to happen last night. I was trying to go to sleep then all of a sudden it felt like my brain is vibrating a lot. Then my body starts doing the same and I start feeling slight energy in my body as well. After it stops I feel a definite state shift.
I noticed a few things when this happened. (1) I had the realization that I had been hiding the real me for a long time. I had already went over in this journal how when younger I started withdrawing more and more from socialization because of the fear of ridicule and being rejected when I opened myself up. Before these experiences I was quite social and I was actually more interested in conversation and having a good time with people then in things and ideas.(2) A certain process came to my mind at this time. Not sure if you guys have listened to some of the stuff Jordan Peterson talks about but he talks sometimes about the process of development. One thing he talks about is how a person is suppose to be developed within a tribe or group but that isn't where development is suppose to end at. Once the person is developed within that group he is then suppose to start developing into a individual. The problem is a lot of people only want to develop as far as the group their in and don't want to actual self actualize as an individual. The main reason being is if you develop into a individual, individuals have to take responsibility. Most people run from responsibility like its the damn plague. I realized that I need to further develop as an individual.
(3) I felt this boost in confidence. I had this in my mind that "yes, I can reach the goals of the program". We shall see how this turns out when I actually run the program but I'm very optimistic about it. (4) I'm pretty sure I felt some elements of the wall. Before even during that non-porn watching streak I would still feel the urge to masturbate. Now, not only do I not feel the urge to watch porn or masturbate but also all fantasizing has stopped complete right now. I can't even fantasize about anything. At most I might get like a snap shot in my mind about something but even with that it quickly fades away. So this has been very interesting to say the least. (5) Connected with point 4, its like there is a disconnect between my mind and body. Usually, if I feel horny in anyway there is like this immediate need to expel that sexual energy (masturbation, porn, etc). Now it feels like I know my sex drive is there and my body feels like its filled with sexual energy but there isn't this desperation reaction in my mind to release it. My body is sexually on fire in some ways but my mind remains cool, calm, and collected.
I have wondered about something which I probably won't be able to know until the program is released. With the wall since you can't get "out or escape" I wonder if that means nothing can get in either? I'm thinking in regards to a problem I had on 3.1 along with a few other people. Where you would feel like you were making good progress then some event or someone (maybe someone who feels like they need to knock you down a peg) would do something that would shatter that progress and you would be starting at ground zero again. I do feel this kind of "detachment" from things around me. Not so much in a bad way but in that if something bad did happen it wouldn't hurt me as much as it would usually. I will have to see how this is when the program is released though to see if my suspicious might be correct.
Anyway, that's all I have to report now. I don't know if my mind is on some kind of countdown or something and I'm going to have some other abnormal occurrence tonight as well but we shall see.
RE: Transcendent Sith Lord's 3.2 Journal- Chapter 1: The TID Chronicles - K-Train - 02-19-2018
I didn't want to report much of this initially because I wanted to actually confirm what was going but yes, I've felt many of the same sensations you did Darth. I went through moments of fear the moment I read about The Wall. I'm guessing a part of me was worried that it was about to be cornered. Since then, I've gone through periods of calmness and almost absolute zero levels of anxiety. In addition, desire for porn dropped and my ability to resist the temptation to fap increased drastically. Unfortunately, I broke the streak after being fap free for 2 weeks and then after a full week of no fap today. But the ability to resist was EXTREMELY powerful. And the feeling of calmness was amazing.