(09-28-2020, 07:48 AM)Shannon Wrote: Damned good thing he has a dad like you!

(09-28-2020, 08:50 AM)NOMAD Wrote: I can recall a time when I was around 10 or 11 years old and I was in a similar situation as your son. I stuttered through a joke and my dad verbally attacked me. It happened over 30 years ago and I remember trying to speak through teary eyes and a constricted throat like it was yesterday. It forgot how bad it hurt until I started typing this. 

I'm glad your son has you. That does my heart good.

(09-28-2020, 02:53 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: I feel the same way NOMAD does, absolutley!!

(09-27-2020, 07:23 AM)THolt Wrote:

(09-27-2020, 12:38 AM)fab10 Wrote:

(09-26-2020, 05:50 PM)RTBoss Wrote: Wow.  We're at my in-laws.  Had a birthday party for my MIL & FIL.  After dinner, my son asked me how to be funny.  There were more than a few "comedians" present.  I told him that everyone's different.  He wouldn't let it go, so I taught him a few "Dad Jokes." Not even bad ones - good ones!  

So he practices with me in another room, and nails them.  Excited, he runs to tell the jokes to everyone.  This takes fuckin' GUTS.  He tells the jokes, FLAWLESSLY.  And he gets BOOED.  Mind you, he's fucking SIX YEARS OLD.  I am LIVID, and not even my wife understands.  I gave him two more jokes, which he nailed.  Same response.  Fucking disgusting.  I asked him how it made him feel.  He said it made him feel bad .  I told him to tell them, and he did.  They just discounted his feelings.  But, he stood up for himself, and it also gave me an opportunity to tell my son how damn proud of him I am.  You bet your ass I am!

That’s extraordinarily ass-holish, it’s the kind of experiences that can become old traumas and then require 8 months of E4 to clear 

I think you did great, I wish my father had told me once that he was proud of me. 16 months of E4 for me 

Have your in-laws always been like that? Have you considered talking to them about it? (When your child is not there)

That’s why I am running E4 for at least 8 months. My dad constantly criticized me plus my mom died when I was 6 years old.

(09-28-2020, 03:03 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Hows LTU6 going for you and your wife RT?

Quote:Perhaps I shouldn't even be exposing her, since she isn't able to be consistent.  Her work schedule doesn't allow her to listen according to the model recommendations.

Quote:"Would you prefer that?  The guy who loses his cool and yells at you and/or the kids?"  
Nope.

(09-28-2020, 06:21 PM)RTBoss Wrote:

(09-28-2020, 03:03 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Hows LTU6 going for you and your wife RT?

Better for me, than her.  She's pretty resistant, in the first place.  Perhaps I shouldn't even be exposing her, since she isn't able to be consistent.  Her work schedule doesn't allow her to listen according to the model recommendations.  

I'm enjoying DRS, emotional healing, and what seems to be anger management.  Tonight, for instance, the kids had my wife riled up beyond her usual.  I handled it all so calmly, she even berated me for not being angry "FOR" her.  So then I just reminded her about my old self - "Would you prefer that?  The guy who loses his cool and yells at you and/or the kids?"  

Nope.

(09-28-2020, 07:16 PM)fab10 Wrote:

Quote:Perhaps I shouldn't even be exposing her, since she isn't able to be consistent.  Her work schedule doesn't allow her to listen according to the model recommendations.

Ya, inconsistent listening with some products can do more harm than good... I am curious, how is your listening schedule then? (If you don’t mind sharing)

Quote:"Would you prefer that?  The guy who loses his cool and yells at you and/or the kids?"  
Nope.

EPIC

(09-28-2020, 06:21 PM)RTBoss Wrote:

(09-28-2020, 03:03 PM)ncbeareatingman Wrote: Hows LTU6 going for you and your wife RT?

Better for me, than her.  She's pretty resistant, in the first place.  Perhaps I shouldn't even be exposing her, since she isn't able to be consistent.  Her work schedule doesn't allow her to listen according to the model recommendations.  

I'm enjoying DRS, emotional healing, and what seems to be anger management.  Tonight, for instance, the kids had my wife riled up beyond her usual.  I handled it all so calmly, she even berated me for not being angry "FOR" her.  So then I just reminded her about my old self - "Would you prefer that?  The guy who loses his cool and yells at you and/or the kids?"  

Nope.

Me:
 Right friggin on Man~! that is sooo dang awesome. I mean it. what therapist can do this for us...ya know? unless you've got merlin with a wizard wand or the Wizard of Oz.... in a phrases.."it aint happening"...I mean talking things out is one thing, clearing them out is a whole 'nother world!! 
  brilliant move on your part.... nothing like a linear,grounded statement to get another to really think about it all. perspective!! check mate!!

 I Once had a life coach named John Lovette( or Lovitte) outta san antonio Tx, that used to teach " Non defensive listening",he has a book out some where called "whose listening anyway?" and another one" whose telling the truth,anyway?" most excellent
 His techniques were astounding,very simple and very effective including mirroring back to the other person 'their stuff" and as a result they had no choice but to 'own it',but again it wasnt done in a defensive way,it was non defensive reflection...kinda like DRS verbally ha! they got to 'get clear' on thus and such,opportunity to grow ,if they so would choose to do so, and at the very least they'd shut the hell up.... and  the other person,got 'peace'. A win win!! Ha!

   Whose money does this belong to Joey, Ghandalf or Ceasar? give to ceasar what is caesar and giveto ghandalf what is ghandalf!" - non defensive listening and respone. ya might say  its "alkaline living"over "acidic" !!

 LTU6 is a muther Man,I can hardly wait til we see it in 6G,good  grief,charlie brown!! ha!

(09-29-2020, 07:46 PM)apollolux Wrote: Bwhoa. It's a shame dads can't appreciate dad jokes coming from children, especially children they're related to, regardless of how the kids got the jokes. I have a gut feeling that they booed because they assumed YOU were the source of the jokes.

I never had a dad in my own life, RT. This anecdote along with most of what I remember you posting here on how you've raised your family so far shows that you seem to be the kind of dad I wish I had growing up. Even the instances you've been willing to recount here about getting angry (non-violently, thankfully) but then reflecting afterwards and not only sincerely attempting to understand what was wrong but accepting being in the wrong if you were in the wrong, that's very much the kind of parent I would like to have.