Quote:It feels like I am learning what it means to have self esteem for the first time in my life. Seriously. I haven't had it before. I didn't know I could have it. It felt like I didn't deserve it. This I amazing. Very good things are ahead and I feel that life will play out in a nice way for the first time in...ever.

Quote:#1 is that my depression is lifting, it feels like a cloud is slowly dispersing and I am able to see life as it is again, with it's opportunities and possibilities and not being weighted down with fear as I have been and #2 is the self esteem part, where I am starting to realize that I can actually feel good about who I am and that I have good qualities, something that have been very foreign to me before. Ltu5 has done things in little less than 2 weeks that I can't comprehend how it did.

Quote:I was reading Paul's LTU journal, and he began laughing in the midst of a stressful exchange with his wife. I shared a short rendition of the story below, but the auric shield worked great for me 2 weeks back. This happened, and I didn't share it. Catch-up time.

Two weeks back, I was doing laundry at a laundromat , and I looked next to my washer–and my brother was putting his laundry in a machine. I associate my brother with anger, because ANY conversation begun with him ultimately leads to something/someone/anyone who’s hurt or betrayed him. This day was no different. However, this day I was different.

I made my presence known, and he immediately began his monologue. Sadly, this is his norm, no kidding. He’d ask how I was occasionally, but he’d ignore me and continue his monologue. I shared about my ex and daughter (good things), and he began spitting out resentments about his ex-wife. He brought my ex into his bitching, and 2 minutes later I stopped him. He obviously wanted a bitching buddy, but I shared I’d rather not talk about everyone else. He continued for a minute, then asked me why I didn’t want to hear him talk about them.

I told him I thought it was repulsive (I said exactly that). Nothing ever changes, it spirals out of control, and nothing good comes out of it. I said something like that too. Like a small boy, he left. His feelings were hurt. I thought he’d distance himself, and I didn’t mind. I decided to distance myself and relieve some tension, so I began taking a walk. He called out for me 10 seconds later. He approached me, almost dangerously, but I didn’t change my posture. He vented again, spewing out times he felt I'd hurt him (from even 10 years back), and I kept looking at him, not reacting. I felt a smile growing on my face since his anger and fear were not owning me nor even affecting me much. This was his s***, not mine. And this was very new for me.

He did change directions once, asking if I was still doing counseling. He wondered if I were talking to people all the time. I said no, and I continued by saying I’d done that, but nothing had changed much for me. I said I was doing something different now, and it was really helping me. He wondered what it was, and I told him I was listening to silent healing subliminals. He was wary immediately, but I clearly told him subliminals were just instructions to follow, and I felt good. He did not pursue it, and I’ve not shared anything more with him.

We walked back to the laundromat, and he stopped me, insisting on one last angry victim stance (for he "knows" what I should be doing. Whatever). He complained of his life’s results, sharing how bad he had it, and gave me his last stand. He said I just needed to “***** grow up”. My smile wasn’t hidden well, as I just looked at him. This miserable man was telling me how to live life??? He had nothing I wanted, nothing at all, so his words just bounced off me. I stood there, unintimidated and un-needy, saying nothing, and he walked away. I owed him nothing.

While leaving myself, I considered sending him a text asking him if he would like to try out subs, but even now, that mentality angers me. If he wants to burn bridges, let 'em burn.

What really stuck out to me is this: I don’t want or like the victim mentality anymore. I recognized it immediately, I’d been noticing it all of that week, I’d been looking for it in my life, and I was seeing it and making new choices for myself. I shared this incident with my 2 friends who I played Cashflow with an hour later, and one (my old sponsor), said I’ve really grown. He said nothing like that would have been possible 10 years back when he was sponsoring me. And it’s true.

LTU has had major positive repercussions in my life. And it's been incredibly easy to allow such changes the longer I use it. I can do this Smile

Quote:I'm working on becoming more grounded every day and every day and I see progress. I feel more inside of my body, less worried about stuff that's about to come, and more present, in general less fear around other people and more ability to "stand my ground" in a general sense. I feel more and more at ease. I still have some bad days, and bad parts of good days, but things are constantly improving and moving toward a better place. I don't take stuff so personally as I did before. I'm feeling more and free. Today I sat down and played the piano for one hour, something I haven't done in years. And you know what? Many of the songs I knew before still are there, I can't recall them by writing them out in notes, but my fingers know how to play them. So cool. And I am starting to learn a new song that will take some serious dedication to master, and before I would think it would be impossible to master it, but now I just take it a step at the time and know that with dedicated effort and patience I will get it over time. Huge progress!

Quote:I'm noticing that I am breaking down the walls i put up between me and my family that prevent me from being open and converse with them on a level that allows even a smidge of personal/emotional connection. This is good. Family issues and subconscious hinderances and the walls and blocks that have been put up by myself between me and my family pain me deeply, and it is a major factor holding me back in many areas of life.

Quote:This is night two of my ASRB break, and I have been on LTU for two months.

I feel extremely confident tonight, and realize that I’ve been feeling that way for a while. Tonight is through the roof, I feel great. My body language is different, and while I’m conscious of it, it’s perfectly natural and caused by the way I’m thinking and feeling, not a conscious decision to move or stand that way. I feel very strong and natural dealing with people, and my voice has dropped a few octaves, and I’m using really awesome inflections. I look everyone in the eye now, and talk to them without the formal distance I usually maintain. I don’t always feel this way consciously, but tonight feels awesome.

Quote:https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-LTU-5-yeah-I-did-it-too?pid=220492#pid220492

Quote:This is night two of my ASRB break, and I have been on LTU for two months.

I feel extremely confident tonight, and realize that I’ve been feeling that way for a while. Tonight is through the roof, I feel great. My body language is different, and while I’m conscious of it, it’s perfectly natural and caused by the way I’m thinking and feeling, not a conscious decision to move or stand that way. I feel very strong and natural dealing with people, and my voice has dropped a few octaves, and I’m using really awesome inflections. I look everyone in the eye now, and talk to them without the formal distance I usually maintain. I don’t always feel this way consciously, but tonight feels awesome.

Quote:Very productive day today at my business. On top of that and the main reason for the post while running things I experienced near zero fear. No fear is one h**l of a nice way to live life.

Quote:3rd break Day 2:

Saw Avengers: Endgame yesterday. Thoroughly enjoyed the movie and the company of my friends.

*Spoiler Alert*: I was profoundly effected by a statement that Thor's Mother made when he went back in time and she was still alive. Thor had been depressed for years after losing in Infinity Wars. Long story short, he felt like a failure. His Mother told him "Everyone fails at who they're supposed to be, what matters is that you do the best you can with who you are"...or something along those lines. I felt like she was speaking directly to me. For so long, I fought between the person I wanted to be, felt I needed to be, and who I actually was. It feels like I'm becoming someone new altogether and that's why I still don't completely know who I've become, and yet I still feel more secure and empowered than ever before.

In other news, I'm not sure why I was even born, but what I know is that after 28 years, I've actually chosen a life purpose for myself. This is huge because for so long, I went after what I thought was acceptable by society. When I saw the fact that societally programmed goals were not the answer I sought, I became unmotivated and kept hearing that you should "follow your passion and bliss". Only problem is I had no idea what that was until now. I finally have a sense of direction, and could also potentially turn it into a business. Haven't even gotten through a complete run of LTU yet but I'm developing faster than ever, incredible.

Quote:Things are moving forward.. I have a much easier time working, keeping focus, and moving forward in doing stuff, taking initiative, etc. My head is clearer, my memory is better. I'm more stable.

Yesterday while driving I felt a surge of positivity and happiness inside, I found a parking spot and walked to my friend and god I felt AWESOME. Really like no stress, just being happy. Can't remember I felt like that..ever. I enjoy music more and more. I feel more and more embodied. There is still some anxiety trapped inside my body but it's slowly being worked on during the nights listening to LTU and in my meditation and TRE exercises. I'm now positive that I will overcome this fully just given enough time.

Quote:Cycle 4, Day 3

Amazing. Woke up this morning a bit tired but the remarkable difference I noticed is that now instead of staying in bed and fighting myself to jump up and get things done for the day, I actually had to fight myself to stay in bed and be lazy. I believe the naturalizer kept me from realizing it but all this week I’ve been fighting myself to sit down and keep still as opposed to fighting myself to be productive. This has been on both a personal and professional level. Keep having thoughts like “I don’t want to just sit and waste my life away” and “I wanna go out into the world and live”. Posting now because with the feeling I have being auto-generated from within, I’m sure I won’t be slowing down enough to be back on the internet until tomorrow. Crazy how almost a month ago you almost had to pull my teeth before I actually got up on the weekend.

Quote:Day 29

Real talk now. I notice a lot of changes in myself, positive ones. There are possibly too many to count, so I will focus on 2 ones and mention some of them here briefly. I feel more energetic, motivated. I finally getting stuff done. My flatmate thinks I matured a lot recently and I got grasp on my life better than ever before. All of that with little resistance, changes feel natural and organic, as if I was doing nothing and just keen on going with my life as always. But wait, there's more!

I've always wanted to lose some weight (I'm currently at 30 BMI) and finally I'm managing it. I don't want to post anything yet as I'm scared of yo-yo effect, but I think the trend is there. All thanks to self-control (not eating crap, not drinking beer every second night etc.), eating less while still not being hungry and having lots of energy and regular exercise. As for the last, in the recent months I was exercising a bit, more and more with every week, but now for the first time I use exercise to challenge myself. To prove to myself that I can. And it feels great when I indeed can.

Secondly NoFap. I've also played around with this one, not going all in but limiting myself. I started measuring when I do it and made up some rules on when I can do it. This gave some success but did not resolve the main issue. However, now I'm on the day 6, feat I've managed to achieve only 5 times in the past 2 years, and I intend to keep on going with this one. Two reasons. First one is my new born confidence brought by my weight loss. Second one is girl I met recently in work, she's pretty and intelligent, exactly my type. Obviously she's got a boyfriend, but I cannot escape the thought that if I was to stop with PMO I might have had such a girlfriend and not be lonesome like I'm now. I don't think it's time for dating just yet, I want some more time to deal with my other issues. However, when the time comes (and it's approaching) NoFap can only help me with my confidence and sexual power!

Overall, seriously, if I were just to keep on going like I'm doing right now I think I'd consider this sub to be the best of all of subs I've tried. It's almost scary and undoubtedly beautiful that more is yet to come!

Quote:Cycle , Day2:

Man oh man that wisdom/maturity improvement and anger management combo in LTU5 definitely worked it's magic today. Yesterday and today a good friend of mine came off, as what I perceived to be disrespectful concerning an issue I already stated was being handled. Now while I was partly to blame, I refused to be disrespected, given my natural temper though, I really had to figure out how to channel my anger and still be able to keep my friendship in tact.

Instead of getting stuck in a negative rut full of anger, I accepted my responsibility for the part I played in irritating him. I apologized to him for what I'd done, but also stood my ground about the fact that I'd already let him know that progress was being made, and also not to take a less than respectful tone with me, despite his anger. Stated I would appreciate being addressed in a cordial manner going forward. He apologized for how it all came out, we cleared the air from there. (USLM may have also helped me figure out how to find the best possible solution for how to resolve the issue before it got too big as well).

This is progress for me because even a couple months ago, I probably would've just taken offense and escalated things into an argument. Instead, I channeled my anger to find a solution, and keep a friend at the same time, which ultimately, this isn't an issue that really should've become very big to begin with. Can't wait to see what kind of person I end up becoming with the help of LTU5.

Quote:Well, thought I would update since some major things have been happening.

I did have some kind of switch turn on the other day that just cleared up my mind. I don't know what was taken care of but its like I know what I need to do now moving forward and I can see things so much more clearly without all the usual second guessing I do. One of the things clear in my mind is that I will need to run UMS whenever it comes out. I will need money to live the life I want and to do the things I want to do. I'm also just in general tired of being strapped for cash at one point or another.

I did realize something else that has been on my mind regarding the Indonesian chick. I've realized over a while now that , most likely due to LTU, I am starting to outgrow even her now. I can clearly sense it in the way even when I talk to her now I am not as keen and engaged as I used to. I think she is starting to sense this as well. So, as bad as it is I do have a choice to make. End the relationship now or hold on to it for a few years which she is still willing to grow which is true but I know when it comes to a certain point and a choice I have to make (which I will keep private for now) that the relationship will end. She will not be able to follow me at that point of which I'm 95% certain. The only thing that is keeping me possibly holding on to this is the fact that she has already mentioned me to her parents which for her culture is a very, very big deal. So, my sense of what is the honorable thing to do is fighting with my reason at this point. Would just be extremely disrespectful to do that at the moment but at the same time I know where this going to lead.

At least the good news is that she has said in the past she will listen to Shannon's subs so that might help out just well. This transformation has been deep and I think I know what has been going on. The first thing that came to mind as I pondered this was something Nietzsche had explained. It was the different types of morality: Slave morality and master morality. I think for the longest time I was acting on slave morality and then since doing subs I've been fighting against that type of thinking and then finally now I think I have transitioned over. Funny enough despite you thinking that this would make the sub listen effective its like the sub has made me even more independent in the sense that I don't want to be subservient or controlled by the whims of anyone. I think the sub gets a pass on this because it is trying to persuade you to its side of things. I do appreciate Shannon for doing that as well because this transformation has really made me appreciate that he's willing to go the extra mile instead of taking the easy way of using fear to motivate us to cooperate.

Most of the world doesn't operate like this. Most people in your day to day life don't try to persuade you to their way to thinking (or even to be persuaded themselves). Most of the time they just expect you to listen to them due to their position (like at work) and think that gives them the right to treat you like shit. Then are others who will lie (whether straight out or by omission) or straight up manipulate you in order to get what they want out of you (my mother is a good example of this). As of now I have this strong aversion of being controlled by anyone even more than before. I know this isn't over yet though as Nietzsche had another type of man who was on an even higher plan of existence. The Ubermensch or the self actualized man. Not sure if I'm at that level of self development yet but now I certainly have other's will imposed on me in general. There is just something about it now that leaves a horrible taste in my mouth.

Also, something that I forgot to mention which is related to the whole relationship issue I feel even more like once in my life my life doesn't have to revolve around finding some relationship or being in one. I'm actually more concerned with progress in my life and my life's betterment than some other person. I don't "need" anyone as it were and I don't want to "need" anyone. I'm also making plan now on what I will do for investing once I start running UMS. I want to work on wealth generation hardcore when I can over the next few years. Eh, will I run DMSI I again? Possibly. I might be tempted to run it again right before I touch down in Korea or China (just to see how the affects are in another country) or sometime over the next few years just for fun (if I have already met my wealth goals to a degree).

I know as a certainty though that if I were to run it now I would be getting much better results. I think I just needed a bit more self development that LTU v5 gave in order to possibly get the results I would want. Though I will say American women still aren't my cup of tea so therefore I would expect much results in the US. Just the general attitude of women over here doesn't make them attractive for me. Therefore I doubt I will get many sniper hits over here due to the lower attraction.

One last thing as well, the idea of fear disgusts me now. I'm sure there are some times I might still fall into the same habit and fear a little bit but its like the concept really disgusts me now. Its like I see fear as some disease that doesn't belong in my system at all and it is not my ally. I've wasted too much of my life and accomplish almost nothing due to that shit. I'm just done with it. Anyway, that's the stuff that has been going on lately. Some big stuff and quite frankly with the upgrades UMS will have in regards to FRM I will be very happy to see how good I will do on that. I'm ready to progress my life a lot more.

Quote:I’m actually taking the day off for Ltu but still experienced something highly profound. It didn’t hit me until after I woke up this morning that I had abandonment issues. That epiphany helped me realize why I seem to have such a tough time forming and maintaining social connections and romantic relationships. I began to explore my own mind through meditation in order to discover the source of this issue.

I was lead back to my childhood 20 years ago when I had a powerful attachment to my Mother. I remembered vividly two things. One, how when she was late picking me up from school, I would become frightened because I thought either something bad had happened to her, or she simply didn’t love me anymore and decided to abandon me. She would usually be there within an hour because she got held up by something but my own childish mind sent me into a frenzy and I would simply stand right in front of the school crying. It didn’t help that the second thing I remembered is that a couple of times, my Mother actually played a prank on me and told me she was leaving me all alone in the house and never coming back. She would then proceed to walk out the door and lock it behind her. I would get so upset that I’d forget to unlock the door. I’d instead feel afraid and alone and angry. After listening to my cry by the door for a couple minutes she’d come back in the house saying it was just a joke but I’d still be angry at her for s couple hours after that.

I hadn’t even remembered any of this until today. My meditation then revealed to me the reason I may have seems to constantly have people all of a sudden up and leave me, rather it was a friend, girlfriend, etc. was because I’d formed this belief and fear that people would abandon me eventually anyway. Sure enough, I experienced that more as I grew older. In my teen years, I bothered absolutely none to be close to anyone at all and became emotionally and mentally the coldest and hardest I’ve been to date. I eventually did grow tired of being negative and broke out of that cycle around 18 years old. But from time to time I’d still experience remnants of that experience.

Now, thing is I’d never made this connection score today and held no blame or resentment towards my Mom because I didn’t remember any of this, but even remembering it, I forgave my mom because she had no idea how a simple prank, or just being late because she had to handle some business effected me. I accepted that she was completely unaware. In recent tears I’ve just realized that there are multiple reasons why people come and go and so even though I had become indifferent, I had no idea that my indifference was a defense mechanism hilt up against my underlying abandonment issues.

During the meditation, I visualized myself going back in time and wrapping my arm around that frightened younger me, and telling him that it’s ok. I explained that mom is just a little late, but she’ll be there for him, she loves him and there are others who still love him. I let him know that he’s not alone and he’s not powerless. If he ever ran into a problem that triggered fear, there would always be a way to find a solution. He and I then traveled to the main time that I remember being locked in the house and instead of letting him get upset, I encouraged the younger me to stay strong, and aware of what was happening. He looked up and smiled back at me, asked me who I was, so I told him that I’m his future self, he thanked me. I was the. Snapped back to the present and felt a sense of joy and freedom, knowing that today, I just hit a huge emotional healing milestone.

Because the source of my a abandonment issues has been healed, there wasn’t even a need to revisit any other events related to them. Even now as I’m writing this, my eyes are slightly watering, I know this is just me subconsciously releasing the last of the fear. I can now move forward in life without fear of showing love or receiving it because I know that even if things go astray, I have enough self love to get myself through anything. Feels like the E3 component really is the star of the show today. This may also be UD and USLM4 helping and assisting as well. Either way LTU5 has delivered another huge breakthrough for me.