+- Subliminal Talk (https://subliminal-talk.com)
+-- Forum: Men's Journals (18+ NSFW) (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals-18-NSFW)
+--- Forum: Men's Journals (https://subliminal-talk.com/Forum-Men-s-Journals)
+--- Thread: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 (/Thread-I-m-a-peacock-you-gotta-let-me-fly-Maverick-Journal-2023)
"I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-03-2023
I will probably change the quote from The Other Guys to something a bit more timeless, but for now...
This journal will document my Maverick journey.
Context: I am a 10 year veteran of IML products; joined in August/September of 2013, when I was at my most immature, undisciplined. Ironically, I'm logged into an alternate account because of the inability to log in with my primary, so my number of posts and date of joining seems lower.
I've found the most success on the following subliminals:
- Alpha Male, 4G and 5G
- Maximum Learning Speed, 4G and 5G
- Sleep Induction Aid, 5G
- BASE (through increases in income from jobs, each time I ran it)
- Overcoming Fear 4.0
Others, I realize that I pushed away out of fear, especially the DMSI subliminals. I never committed to a full run, and would jump ship early.
Regardless, I've experienced a great deal of personal growth over the decade.
Inner/Emotional:
- A removal of immature tendencies and frivolous pursuits
- A removal of the majority of my fears, especially surrounding the public
- A hardening of my self-discipline, taking into account my particular personality traits and habits
- A dissolving of my resentments
- Financial independence and discipline
- An optimization of my time and energy towards my goals
- A ten-year plan that integrates my past struggles and current interests, and desire to serve humanity
Outer:
- Completing my 4-year Bachelor's and eventually getting a job
- Becoming a musical street performer, and helping me to break out of my shell
- Speaking four languages fluidly, with some abilities in two others
- A crystallizing mastery over the guitar
- An almost complete removal of social anxiety, and the ability to socialize with whom I please (though I usually prefer work on my projects)
- More comfort with dating, and now dating on my terms, as well as nurturing feelings of care for the women I date.
- Writing and publishing five (minimum 200+ page, and referenced) books between 2016 and 2021.
- Completing a coding bootcamp, drilling algorithms and other technologies, then getting a job in full-stack web development, changing careers entirely and becoming the only person in my company to work in IT without a CS degree.
- Getting certifications in Cloud Computer, and am now training myself in artificial intelligence
- Getting a blue belt in Jiu-Jitsu, and am a year into Kickboxing
- Becoming my strongest, fastest, and most muscular at (nearly) 31 years old.
So why Maverick? Despite my current accomplishments, I've had an inner desire for greatness since I was 19.
This inner yearning caused me to ignore the task in front of me (getting educated and finishing my degree) and to almost burn myself down to the ground financially with silly get-rich-quick pursuits at 21.
Day 1,
Though I was into X4A-1000, I had stopped running it when I heard that the release of Maverick was imminent.
As I mentioned in Shannon's Journal, the copy for Maverick was concise, full of caveats and reasons to not buy, but breathtaking nonetheless.
I was already prepared to put down the money, and I bought it within 10 minutes of opening the page; 8 of those minutes were spent reading the copy and getting right with what was required.
After finishing the first loops, I was filled with that similar feeling I felt at 19, 20, and 21. Feeling like a caged bird, needing to fly. Like a peacock
I'm already thinking about taking a trip to my local big city and to spend a week while still working my remote job.
I'm already looking at wardrobe upgrades, and looking to get a haircut asap. Enough of this "disheveled genius" look, maybe I should become polished while I'm at it.
I spent a bit of time trying to record a guitar video for my social media, then dropping it when the sound quality wasn't adequate.
So what is my 10-year plan? I might be comfortable to reveal it.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-12-2023
Day 9,
I'm considering making my journal a private one (off this forum), but it doesn't really matter for now.
I ran the first two loops from Maverick last week, and I was very quickly overcome with some goals.
For the last few weeks, there were a number of maintenance things that I could be doing, but I didn't have the inner drive to overcome the resistance of just doing it.
So, car maintenance, hair cut, spring cleaning.
I cancelled my gym plans and booked a hair cut (same day), car appointment (later that week), then after the hair cut I shopped for some slick clothes, cleaned out my wardrobe, brought it to the thrift shop, and found a number of very nice replacements.
(I believe that I've challenged a core belief about spending money; you don't need to be in the black every month; you can spend it if you have it (and I've accumulated a fair amount))
Then I cleaned my apartment, and decluttered, rearranging boxes to optimize space.
Later this week I ACTUALLY REPURPOSED A SHOE RACK INTO A TOWEL RACK, put it at the end of my hall, then learned how hotels roll their towels into burritos so that I could have easy access to them (vs. my old system of a loose stack in the laundry room).
Polished my dress shoes and re-laced them into being straight laced.
The next day, I approached a gym gal I consider very attractive; she didn't mind at all, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. I was putting more of myself into the conversation. She seemed upset when she said that she had a boyfriend (when I asked for her number).
Since, I've been uploading more of my guitar videos. Have gotten likes by some local influencers, which had never happened before.
Also PRed on the squat at 325 lbs, with a plan to work on my quads to prevent my tendency to lean forward while approaching the hole (it takes load off of the quads, but compromises form).
Did 1-2 reps of 100 lbs dumbbell press (2 if getting them up counts). Got 105 lbs up, but didn't do a full rep.
At my absolute strongest just after turning 31 a couple of days ago.
Been tearing through my Machine Learning materials; everything seems to make sense on second listen.
I'm actually getting into deeper conversations with people I bump into.
Another interesting story. I approached a pretty woman at the gym today, which happened somewhat on auto-pilot. I stumbled through the conversation because my mind was empty, but she was very nice and friendly. I asked for her number and she said she had a boyfriend. I stumbled off, then felt bad for dumping a bad conversation onto her. I returned about 5 minutes later and said "I owe you a better conversation than just a series of questions", then I actually put more of myself into it. It ended on a more positive note.
Anyways, I look forward to Tuesday, which is when my next loops are; feels like I get the most juice on the subsequent 48 hours.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - Duke.Togo - 03-12-2023
(03-12-2023, 06:05 PM)AmpersndThe2nd Wrote: Day 9,
I'm considering making my journal a private one (off this forum), but it doesn't really matter for now.
I ran the first two loops from Maverick last week, and I was very quickly overcome with some goals.
For the last few weeks, there were a number of maintenance things that I could be doing, but I didn't have the inner drive to overcome the resistance of just doing it.
So, car maintenance, hair cut, spring cleaning.
I cancelled my gym plans and booked a hair cut (same day), car appointment (later that week), then after the hair cut I shopped for some slick clothes, cleaned out my wardrobe, brought it to the thrift shop, and found a number of very nice replacements.
(I believe that I've challenged a core belief about spending money; you don't need to be in the black every month; you can spend it if you have it (and I've accumulated a fair amount))
Then I cleaned my apartment, and decluttered, rearranging boxes to optimize space.
Later this week I ACTUALLY REPURPOSED A SHOE RACK INTO A TOWEL RACK, put it at the end of my hall, then learned how hotels roll their towels into burritos so that I could have easy access to them (vs. my old system of a loose stack in the laundry room).
Polished my dress shoes and re-laced them into being straight laced.
The next day, I approached a gym gal I consider very attractive; she didn't mind at all, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. I was putting more of myself into the conversation. She seemed upset when she said that she had a boyfriend (when I asked for her number).
Since, I've been uploading more of my guitar videos. Have gotten likes by some local influencers, which had never happened before.
Also PRed on the squat at 325 lbs, with a plan to work on my quads to prevent my tendency to lean forward while approaching the hole (it takes load off of the quads, but compromises form).
Did 1-2 reps of 100 lbs dumbbell press (2 if getting them up counts). Got 105 lbs up, but didn't do a full rep.
At my absolute strongest just after turning 31 a couple of days ago.
Been tearing through my Machine Learning materials; everything seems to make sense on second listen.
I'm actually getting into deeper conversations with people I bump into.
Another interesting story. I approached a pretty woman at the gym today, which happened somewhat on auto-pilot. I stumbled through the conversation because my mind was empty, but she was very nice and friendly. I asked for her number and she said she had a boyfriend. I stumbled off, then felt bad for dumping a bad conversation onto her. I returned about 5 minutes later and said "I owe you a better conversation than just a series of questions", then I actually put more of myself into it. It ended on a more positive note.
Anyways, I look forward to Tuesday, which is when my next loops are; feels like I get the most juice on the subsequent 48 hours.
Love this update! Nice, you're literally just kicking Maverick off... Give it a few more weeks and watch how shit unfolds for you...
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-18-2023
(03-12-2023, 07:28 PM)Duke.Togo Wrote: Love this update! Nice, you're literally just kicking Maverick off... Give it a few more weeks and watch how shit unfolds for you...
Thanks! It's an inadvertent consequence of hyping up Maverick for Shannon's forum to become a big more barren due to people running Maverick.
This subliminal does deserve the hype.
Day 15,
I'm unsure as to whether I feel more restless in the 95 or so hours between my loops, or for the 2 hours when I'm playing my loops.
I've set up a password-protected Outlook Section to act as my private journal.
I'll do what I can to give out details
I'm adding little upgrades to my life, in spite of pinching off the amount of money I'm willing to spend.
I'm wanting to go after more attractive women.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-22-2023
Day 19,
Is this the Maverick subliminal or the 'Tiger Blood' subliminal?
I'm feeling something vicious yet powerful building in myself.
I accepted an invitation out with someone from my kickboxing club. I was at a Latin night club event and danced with a couple of beautiful women. Chatted with one for a chunk of the night and we got along well. I have her number and we have plans tomorrow; I consider her an 8.5 minimum, maybe a 9. She's from the Dominican Republic, and we get along well on a personal level too.
Approach anxiety? What is that?
I'm losing patience for people who won't listen to my advice; for example, in pair programming, the other person is asking me a question and I know the answer. I try to go through the steps and they interject with their theories, and all they have to do is to listen to me and scroll up to look for an ID and it isn't happening.
What's the spirit animal for this vicious feeling? Wolf? Or angry Emu(an upgrade from peacock, after all)? Maybe a Pterodactyl.
My licensing college (for my backup career) is throwing me some bullshit and they're having me attend a webinar 70 days from now for professional development. I wish I could talk them off their mighty horse and tell them where exactly they should shove that webinar.
There's growing tension inside, and conflict is inevitable. In fact, I have new conflicts/tensions with the two women I'm dating. It's not nearly as much of a distraction as it would have been. In fact, I'm fine if both don't pan out.
On top of the new Dominican woman, I have a date with a local musician on Friday.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - Benjamin - 03-22-2023
Very good, you and Nomad are getting me very interested in Maverick. I'm not quite ready for it yet though.
What you're describing is very much being in a Masculine Polarity, it's almost like because of beliefs shifting you either are not accepting some things that may have annoyed you before but you pushed it down, or when you shift into more self-respect then they do annoy you now. I've noticed things like that myself when i'm in a Masculine Polarity, because sometimes it lessens and then suddenly i'm more accepting of that situation because i'm not in that same polarity.
Society has very much put one thing at the top of their so called 'values' (of which they don't have much actual 'values' nor substance in reality) and that is 'tolerance'.
We are told to be 'tolerant' of all kinds of crazy shit that we shouldn't be tolerant of, while also being told that being a man or masculine is bad.. funny how their 'tolerance' doesn't extend to that, because masculinity is bad for these people cos it doesn't let them get away with bullshit.
Personally I don't think that particular value should be very high up in our list as a man.. and I especially say this because when i'm naturally in a Masculine Polarity that particular 'value' goes much lower. As a man, strongly in our Masculine these things naturally annoy and irritate us.. which is why they've wanted to suppress Masculinity so much so they can let these things get out of control without being stopped.
I guess the challenge is how to balance this, and at what stage is it just stubbornness.. but personally I think that when it gets to that stage is alot further away than society tries to tell us.
I've been aware of Jack Donovan for years but never really connected with his stuff, recently i've connected strongly with it and he talks about this kind of thing alot.
Basically he mentoined that we are in a 'culture of nothing' with people pretending to care about everyone and everything as opposed to really knowing what we stand for and seperating ourselves from others which would happen tribally, the 'culture of nothing' has little substance and it's really virtue signalling alot of the time.. and that finding your 'tribe' and being strongly masculine is just as much about knowing who to exclude and who to not be tolerant of. You may be interested in his books or his blog, because what you've written definately reminds me of what i've been reading recently in his books.
Obviously they are very non-pc.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-22-2023
Thanks for the feedback.
I'll address some of what you've said so that I'm not misunderstood. At the same time, don't consider this disagreement to be too harsh.
I'll also try to match the political affect as you have, though I don't want to break the rules.
Funnily enough, I'm fairly left on a lot of issues. I don't keep up to date with budgets or financial policy, or have in-depth fiscal knowledge, so a lot of my leftward views are socially-oriented. I am aware that other countries have working healthcare models, for example, that are considered very left.
Also. I'm a reasonably strong and slim guy. Traditional dresser. I like traditional masculinity and acting on it. I like guns and martial arts.
One element of masculinity is the ability to call out bad dynamics and covert bullshit. Their words can burn away the bullshit. I like that.
I'm also aware of the 'blue haired harpie' type who wouldn't give a damn if a falsely-accused man is sent to prison for a r@p$ charge, and don't care about the well-being and well-adjustment of young men today.
On the other hand, I think that some guys are obstinate, bitter assholes, unyielding to any social change or progress, and assign the worst motives to their opponents, who dress those views up as 'masculinity', then consider masculinity to be under attack when they are criticized for their socially-maladjusted views. Those are the 'Oakley sunglass-wearing car-selfie' type. I can elaborate if you wawnt.
Additionally, I do not want to live in a society that activates its collective outrage and lashes out against a drawing of their favorite person; such a place is not 'tolerant', with results speaking for themselves. Our struggle is that without a hard moral line, or lacking a set of ethical precepts, we need to go through the trouble of piecing it together ourselves.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - Benjamin - 03-22-2023
I don't actually think we are disagreeing too much on alot of what you've said.
The only part that it's difficult to expand on here is what you're saying about some men who are dressing up their views of Masculinity. Masculinity has very much been under attack, you even see things such as articles calling men who workout 'toxic masculine' and attacking any show of actual strength, while celebrating weakness.
I don't know exactly what you mean about 'socially maladjusted views' but again that's hard to expand on here, but my thought is that in a massively sick society being adjusted to their 'social views' is adjusting yourself to a certain sickness. But i'm guessing when you said that you mean things to a certain extreme, which is also partly the challenge I mentioned of "how do we balance this".
I'm guessing you're referring to levels such as Andrew Tate and further than that, who has alot of good Masculine Mindsets, but also some of the things he has done makes him a piece of shit as a person. I also think that 'bitter type' you're talking about could sum up the red pill movement. I was really into that years ago until I realized it was just a whole lot of guys angry about women, really hyping it up like all women are like that which isn't true.. and it was buying into my own anger so it felt good at the time. But I realized how unhealthy it was.
Yeah the last part, that's another thing actually.. the 'tolerant' society is only masquerading as tolerant, but it very much is not unless you are part of their special groups.
Funnily enough though I can come across as intolerant and they could easily accuse me of that, i'm able to have discussions about these kinds of things and have been around groups of people with different viewpoints without acting like a blue haired harpie type.
Whereas these so called 'tolerant' people cannot.
Quote:Additionally, I do not want to live in a society that activates its collective outrage and lashes out against a drawing of their favorite person; such a place is not 'tolerant', with results speaking for themselves. Our struggle is that without a hard moral line, or lacking a set of ethical precepts, we need to go through the trouble of piecing it together ourselves.
I think that actually sums it up well. That is the big problem, there is no baseline of morality or ethics anymore, it's almost just a free for all, accept and tolerate anything no matter what.. engage in pleasure and anything that can distract you as much as you want, you don't even have to stop yourself or have your own internal boundaries anymore, just forever engage in vice. That's also part of what's going on.
Anyway, i've gotta go do some Martial Arts training.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-23-2023
(03-22-2023, 08:25 PM)Benjamin Wrote: I don't actually think we are disagreeing too much on alot of what you've said.
The only part that it's difficult to expand on here is what you're saying about some men who are dressing up their views of Masculinity. Masculinity has very much been under attack, you even see things such as articles calling men who workout 'toxic masculine' and attacking any show of actual strength, while celebrating weakness.
I don't know exactly what you mean about 'socially maladjusted views' but again that's hard to expand on here, but my thought is that in a massively sick society being adjusted to their 'social views' is adjusting yourself to a certain sickness. But i'm guessing when you said that you mean things to a certain extreme, which is also partly the challenge I mentioned of "how do we balance this".
I'm guessing you're referring to levels such as Andrew Tate and further than that, who has alot of good Masculine Mindsets, but also some of the things he has done makes him a piece of shit as a person. I also think that 'bitter type' you're talking about could sum up the red pill movement. I was really into that years ago until I realized it was just a whole lot of guys angry about women, really hyping it up like all women are like that which isn't true.. and it was buying into my own anger so it felt good at the time. But I realized how unhealthy it was.
Yeah the last part, that's another thing actually.. the 'tolerant' society is only masquerading as tolerant, but it very much is not unless you are part of their special groups.
Funnily enough though I can come across as intolerant and they could easily accuse me of that, i'm able to have discussions about these kinds of things and have been around groups of people with different viewpoints without acting like a blue haired harpie type.
Whereas these so called 'tolerant' people cannot.
Quote:Additionally, I do not want to live in a society that activates its collective outrage and lashes out against a drawing of their favorite person; such a place is not 'tolerant', with results speaking for themselves. Our struggle is that without a hard moral line, or lacking a set of ethical precepts, we need to go through the trouble of piecing it together ourselves.
I think that actually sums it up well. That is the big problem, there is no baseline of morality or ethics anymore, it's almost just a free for all, accept and tolerate anything no matter what.. engage in pleasure and anything that can distract you as much as you want, you don't even have to stop yourself or have your own internal boundaries anymore, just forever engage in vice. That's also part of what's going on.
Anyway, i've gotta go do some Martial Arts training.
Hope the Martial Arts went well.
I'm posting a response in the Chatter Box, with a thread titled 'RP Thread'
https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-RP-Thread
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-26-2023
Day 23,
I'm looking to create a page-sized poster that is based on the 40% rule.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2017/10/06/the-40-rule-the-simple-secret-to-success/?sh=716b5bfd5cdd
Here's the base rule. "The 40% rule is simple: When your mind is telling you that you’re done, that you’re exhausted, that you cannot possibly go any further, you’re only actually 40% done."
I want to re-adapt this rule to interpret 40% as the moment when I usually quit. For example, I stop a guitar drill because lactic acid has built up, but I could keep going. Or I only fill up part of my hour with practice or study. Or I post once on social media to promote myself, but I hesitate to post twice.
From there, I want to chart out what a 0% day would look like, then a 20% day, a 40% day, and a 60/80/100%. All to remind myself that I can absolutely push the bar further.
To be clear, this isn't meant to burn myself into the ground and burnout, or get myself injured or overtrained. But it would act as a tool to keep my mind sharp, to prioritize mental toughness, and to push my limits towards my goals.
Open to hearing your thoughts about it.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-27-2023
(03-26-2023, 08:44 AM)AmpersndThe2nd Wrote: Day 23,
I'm looking to create a page-sized poster that is based on the 40% rule.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/chrismyers/2017/10/06/the-40-rule-the-simple-secret-to-success/?sh=716b5bfd5cdd
I've made version 1.0 of this poster, boys:
https://imgur.com/a/r6figwQ
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 03-29-2023
Day 26,
It's interesting that I have distinct memories about every week since I started Maverick, going back to early March.
I'm basically accepting invitations for things related to my areas of interest, instead of just sticking to my usual routines.
I also got two tattoos of decent size on my wrists last Saturday (didn't mention that here, did I?)
Last week:
Connected with a local musician/influencer over Instagram, met for coffee (female), and she has a couple of connections for me. Because of her, I'll be doing my first open mic since moving to this city. Yes, I've performed in my workplace, but not for the public necessarily.
Will be meeting with someone to get me into local politics.
Chugging along in my machine learning/neural network course.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 04-01-2023
Day 29,
A few days ago, I bagged the hottest woman in my life so far.
This is the Dominican woman I mentioned on Day 19.
She had invited herself over late on Wednesday night to "help me" with a "puzzle".
We actually did get the borders of a 1000 piece puzzle finished, but then we started kissing, and it got heavy very quickly.
On top of that, I blew her mind in the bedroom haha, in spite of an initial struggle to avoid prematurely.. ya know.
Wasn't easy; the clothes come off and she has an outrageously good body, plus she knows how to work it.
Very likely to be seeing her again this evening, and she has the strong potential to becoming a regular.
Had been seeing two women until recently, where my second fell off the radar because she's gotten busy, but she also said she wanted to step back and reevaluate things.
As for the other gal I see, from Brazil; we have a good connection, and a good understanding of each other; she is also accepting of my being with other women, so there's at least some foundation.
But, I've helped her out of a bad situation, and in so doing I realized how she's careless in certain areas of her life, bordering on irresponsible.
For God's sake, she's a couple of years older than me, and she find herself in these kinds of pinches; I didn't realize how much of a turnoff that was.
To contrast, for about three months, I was seeing a single mom and nurse who is 3 years older than me, and she had things on lock, and strove to take care of her child. I realize now that this was a feature that I find very attractive.
I'm also finding that I'm losing some physical attraction for her.
RE: "I'm a peacock, you gotta let me fly" - Maverick Journal 2023 - AmpersndThe2nd - 04-02-2023
Day 30,
I'm not feeling myself today.
Instead of feeling motivated to do all the things that are good for me - gym, eating well, coding, guitar practice - I'm just more motivated to work on a 1000-piece puzzle and sipping my coffee. Of course, I break away and do some of the above things.
I took out the DR gal and we came back to my place, she said that she didn't want to do anything sexual, but we did cuddle and she was quite affectionate. Something she keeps saying is that I continue to surprise her, this time after singing in front of her.
Not feeling social at the gym. Also got exhausted much more quickly at the start of it; I did take a week off to let my tattoos heal. Even now that the coast is clear, I'm not wanting to attend kickboxing. Feeling a deep sense of foreboding and that there's a storm ahead.
I'm on track to reducing the number of loops starting tomorrow.
Edit: Also, perhaps a bit out of character to gush about my sex life on yesterday's note. Nonetheless, I'll keep it up.