Day 1
I live in a lot of fear-based pain, and have been reading about a lot of good results with the FRM in USLM3, so I gave up waiting for DMSI 3.3 and started running USLM3. So I guess I'll be doing that for the next three months, and I imagine I'll switch to the new LTU when that comes out. Dunno when/if I'll go back to DMSI, but I really can't wait any more; any help with the fear will be useful.
I'm doing the hybrid spring track, though I have a very strong resistance and I wonder if a masked track would be better. I can't do five loops straight during a day, but I have a phone timer and I'm going to do it in as few number of large listening blocks as possible.
As for goals, just two.
- I have casual meaningful sexual relationships with gorgeous, skinny women who are mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy
- I have meaningful friendships with amazing people who are mentally, physically, and emotionally healthy
As for the "casual meaningful" bit, I don't care how contradictory it sounds. I know exactly what it means and I can feel that my body knows what it means.
I'm 1:08 into the block.
Interesting to see another with the goal pertaining to women and sex.
I've been noticing small leaps towards being more open with people and more women have been more friendlier and cordial towards me since adding it as a goal.
Hope we can get some success from it!
(11-21-2018, 03:28 PM)LiquidMind Wrote: [ -> ]Interesting to see another with the goal pertaining to women and sex.
I've been noticing small leaps towards being more open with people and more women have been more friendlier and cordial towards me since adding it as a goal.
Hope we can get some success from it!
Thank you! Let's see how it goes.
Day 2
Today's Thanksgiving, and while usually I'm at work and can listen while I work, today I'm visiting home with my family. I decided to put the ultrasonic track on repeat on my phone and sleep without earplugs, but I had to put in earplugs after a while, and when I woke I found that VLC on my phone had stopped playing it and I don't know when.
Sigh.
I slept super poorly, but that was kinda expected given my emotional state lately, and the basement bedroom.
I'm thinking about what I can do when I get back home. I have a Devialet Phantom. It's mono, but it has excellent sound reproduction. I figure I'll put the USLM hybrid track on repeat. The mono weakens the effect, but would using the hybrid track offset that?
In any case I figure I can get my time in that way.
Does anyone have a recommendation for a good iPhone music player? I don't want to use iTunes, and all the ones I found don't allow me to add a song to a playlist twice.
I use copytrans manager to copy things to my ipod. You used to be able to just drag and drop with itunes now it's horribly fucking ruined, this program is much better.
(11-22-2018, 04:02 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]I use copytrans manager to copy things to my ipod. You used to be able to just drag and drop with itunes now it's horribly ***** ruined, this program is much better.
Thanks, but I'm not a fan of the built-in music player on the iPhone side either. Do you know a third-party music player app that is good, and preferably works with flac files?
Not sure. I use an ipod, i've never had an iphone. But i'm sure there's someone here who could recommend something.
There is an iPhone version of Foobar, maybe give that a shot?
I use nPlayer on iPhone. You can choose to stream from your pc via the network or download via the app for when you want to be on the go. I find it works well.
Wow, I'll give them a try.
Meanwhile, let's try another overnight with ultrasonic.
Day 3
In my previous journal about DMSI, I was trying to figure out how to run 7 loops of it, and I said that I couldn't do ultrasonic all the time as DMSI isn't something that I want to risk exposing others to. It's different with USLM, so yesterday I was running it ultrasonic on my phone quite a bit and then overnight I did as well. (The new player apps helped; thanks.)
The past month or so I've been feeling grief and pain (which is why I stopped waiting for DMSI and started with USLM) but this morning I woke up without pain and grief in my chest, which feels like a significant break. I can't attribute cause, as my emotional states come in waves and I feel like I have little control over them, but it feels significant.
I'm debating whether to try to run exactly 5 loops a day, or just giving up and running it as much as possible around myself all the time. Definitely leaning towards the latter.
Day 5
Back from my visit to family.
The past few nights I've been playing the ultrasonic on my phone, and because I couldn't hear it I got a spectrogram app for my iPad to verify that it was playing. It was. Now that I got home I loaded up the ultrasonic onto my Mac and fed it to my Devialet Phantom, which is very precise and capable. My iPad showed that it was reproducing a lot better than my phone could, but the problem now is that I can hear it as a high-pitched whine.
Sigh. This isn't quite what I was hoping.
As for luck, on the flight home the FA gave me both a snack pack and the Biscoff cookies, but I don't know if it was USLM or that I tattled on my seatmate for keeping his laptop open during takeoff.
(Edit: Actually, this high-pitched whine thing is something that happened last night on my phone. I started playing the ultrasonic, and I heard a high-pitched whine. I listened to it for a little while and then it stuck in my ears even after I stopped the sub. Is this a sign to turn down the volume? I did the calibration process. Or might this mean I shouldn't use the ultrasonic?)
Day 6
Now that I'm back at work, I have the USLM file loaded up on my work computer and I'm going to do the five hours during work hours rather than overnight. I'll save the overnight ultrasonic for weekends.
I'm seeing posts of others talking about melancholy, etc. There was a huge break in my emotional weather a few days ago that I wrote about, but since then not much. Last night I slept without earplugs now that the summer is over and I don't have an A/C, and I slept unsettled and woke tired. That's not unusual. I'm still hopeful, but it's hard to pinpoint exactly what USLM is doing for me, unlike some other posters.
Tomorrow and the day after will be a break, but I'll post if something noteworthy happens.
Day 9
Two day break. The first day wasn't bad, but on the second day the pain started welling back and taking me down.
I played the ultrasonic one overnight, and even though halfway through the night the random noises were getting to me and I had to put in earplugs, I woke feeling a lot better. I wonder if the sub's getting to me through the earplugs.
I can't remember any dreams, and that's never really been something I've done. And otherwise I haven't anything to report.