Day 17
I did 100 days of E1, took 5 days off then started E2. I planned a 7 day break after E1 but I found it difficult to sleep at night without the subliminal running, and I started to feel weird and anxious during the day.
At first I did not notice E2 much, but the past 7 days I have observed changes. It works deep and is very smooth compared to E1. I quit porn this year and a few days ago I stayed up late and watched porn on the computer. The next day, as I was driving, instead of the regular negative thinking, I thought something like "if you want take that action, then it means you have to accept the consequences, nothing comes without a price". It kind of surprised me in the moment because it was not my usual thinking and I was not attached to the "failure", as I experienced none of the regular feelings of guilt and shame.
That's just one example I can think of, but overall I am noticing a shift happening in the way I view myself, and the way I cope with the stress of life. It's exciting because it's only been 17 sessions and I am already noticing a difference. I didn't plan to make another subliminal log, but they are just so awesome because it works so well for me. For decades, I have tried many things for depression and anxiety, and E1 and now E2 have been the most useful tools yet.
My old journal is in the family friendly area, but I thought I'd put this one here because I wrote about quitting porn and I'll also have the option to write about 18+ topics in future updates.
I took the similar route. I used E1 for about 6 months and then shifted to E2. Part was due to lack of funds and partly due to good results from E1. I love E2 more than E1. I have gotten more results from E2 in about 100 days than from E1 in 180 days.
(11-12-2018, 09:41 PM)guyinlahore Wrote: [ -> ]I took the similar route. I used E1 for about 6 months and then shifted to E2. Part was due to lack of funds and partly due to good results from E1. I love E2 more than E1. I have gotten more results from E2 in about 100 days than from E1 in 180 days.
Good to hear man. I read through your E2 journal and I can relate to a lot of your posts, so I hope it works as well for me.
Day 21
I had a powerful dream that affected me while listening to E2 masked stream FLAC version. This was on a new, better quality speaker, so perhaps that made a difference. Or maybe it was on its way, because I'd been feeling very irritable for several days in the lead up to the dream.
In this dream, I was chased on land by a huge crocodile. After a while someone told me how to kill it. I started to fire a hose of wet cement at it and it retreated. I followed while keeping my distance and continued spraying the wet cement at its head. After a while I began to be impatient and wondered how long this would take to work. I'm not sure if it died, or made its way to water and retreated, but it went away. Afterwards, I made my way into the jungle until I reached some type of hut. Inside was a small dog, and I prepared it a bowl of food. Then a light brown rabbit came inside, and began to eat the dog's food. I assumed it must be hungry from being chased by the same crocodile. I grabbed the rabbit and moved it away so the dog could eat, but it was frantic, thrashing around and doing everything it could to get back to the food bowl. This made me angry and after another 2 or 3 attempts to remove it from the food bowl, I angrily lifted it from the ground by its hind legs with one arm, and then karate chopped it with my other arm, instantly breaking its neck. I felt immediate regret, which was amplified when I was suddenly surrounded by a seated audience of shocked people. It appeared as if I was on some type of television game show. I woke up at this point and could not go back to sleep for several hours.
Day 22
More crazy dreams to report. I'll describe two the best I can that seemed to affect me most.
The first dream, I working inside of a suspended shipping container with my dad and it was being held in the air by some type of crane. We received a phone call from an important politician who let us know that our work contract would be extended. Shortly after the phone call, I was grinding away at some rust and the container violently shifted. My dad fell out of the open door end of the container and I panicked. I knew I couldn't reach him in time and save him, so I stood there and watched him fall out. For whatever reason, the container was suspended over water, which he fell into. Then we were in the site office and my dad was complaining to the supervisor about being wet. The supervisor said he had some spare clothes that my dad could wear.
The second dream was more disturbing. I was walking along a beach pushing a baby in a pram. I have a feeling it was my middle child who was born with a mental disability. For some reason the tide was very high and there was barely any sand to walk along without being in the water. I noticed a lot of attractive women everywhere and I became so focused on them that I failed to notice that the water had engulfed the pram. I lifted the baby out, and assumed everything was OK until I noticed that he looked asleep. I held the baby up so he was facing down and a lot of water started to pour out of the baby's mouth. I panicked and yelled for a doctor and a women approached who was a nurse claiming she could help. We were then in an ER room, and the nurse was working very slowly, putting gloves on and not doing anything to help the baby. I looked at the baby and it was withering away to nothing but skin and bones and looked a strange colour. I yelled at her to hurry the fuck up and do something and then I saw that some type of engine or transmission oil was dripping down on the baby from a bag. I got angry and moved it away and asked her why she was not doing anything. By the look on her face, I could tell that it was too late.
I know the dreams I describe aren't very nice, not sure what it all means but the subliminal is digging in my mind that's for sure. I never had dreams this hectic when running E1.
Day 30
Dreams have been less intense but there have been many of them. It feels like I dream all night long when listening to the trickling stream FLAC version of E2. Some dreams are abstract and some are taking me back to times in my life when things weren't so great, mostly times where I internalized a lot of guilt and shame.
In the outside world, I think things are slowly improving but the same embedded fears continue to hold me back. It's not always easy for me to connect with new people and a lot of the times I am not the easiest person to be around. I think it's because of the internalized guilt and shame. It has pushed me into a situation where I don't want anyone to get close, because I fear they will discover the truth AKA what I truly believe of myself. I know that's not the "truth" and it sounds stupid when I write it out, but it's such a fragile ego.
I'm slowly going to new places, I know that much. It's much more apparent now when I slip back into old negative thought patterns. I immediately pull myself away from them because I know they are toxic. I avoid behaviors that harm me and I continue to take care of myself more than ever before. I think I need to learn to look after myself and love myself before the doorway will open in respect to connection with others. Taking off from E1, I continue to move on quickly from "failures", striving for positive outcomes. E2 is gentle, when I notice resistance I feel a little bit off, with E1 during resistance I felt like death, going into deep depressive states on several occasions. I like E2 a lot more, it's gentler but at the same time more powerful. There was one night, perhaps day 25/26, when I stayed up late because I did not want to run E2. I knew exactly what was happening. I finally got to bed and the urge not to play the subliminal was strong, but I put it on anyway. I don't remember this happening during E1.
But anyway, let me finish on another dream. This is another weird one, I have no idea what it meant but I woke up emotional, and it's what triggered me to come here and write. I dreamed of a college share house that my disabled son (grown up as an adult in the dream) was a part of. He was talking to a girl who was also sharing the same house. I knew what she was thinking; "oh great, I am roomed up with a retard". I felt bad for him, but did not hold any negative feelings towards the girl. Then for some reason, I too had a room in the house. The room number was written on a piece of paper. I found the door down towards the back of the house. I entered the room and was amazed that it had windows all around, and in front it overlooked the ocean, and to the side it overlooked a river, streaming into the ocean. I was very happy and I could not believe my luck to have such a room. But then I noticed the number on the door was different to what was on the paper. I walked out and found the correct room, which was still not too bad but nothing like the other room. In the middle of the new room there was a square hole cut out with a balcony around it, which went down to a lower floor. I looked down and saw an empty spa bath. I thought; "oh great, how am I meant to sleep and study when everyone will be down there partying in a spa bath all of the time?". The next moment I was sitting at the desk creating a model of the hole and cutting in a perfectly fitting piece of foam. I thought; "this will work, now all I need to do is measure the real hole and copy this prototype, that will solve the problem.".
Don't know what it means, but such strange dreams. I am not sure how long this E2 journey will last, but I have a feeling it may be a while
Day 55
Still going with E2 every night and sometimes a little during the day. Not sure what to write but it feels like every night all I do is constantly dream. Lately, a lot of those dreams have been sexual and some have been disturbing. But mostly now they're dreams that I barely remember anymore, or sometimes I wake up feeling like I have a deep understanding or huge insight from a dream, but to recall the dream through conscious description could not describe the deep level in which it affected me. It seems like each night my beliefs of myself and my values are constantly being reshuffled in my head, then during the daytime, I need to catch up to these changing thoughts within the conscious mind, and find a path to living a better, more peaceful life.
I put some thought into it today, so I came here to do a write-up. I have noticed an improvement in my anxiety levels, and I feel far less fear of being judged by others. I think progress is happening on a very deep level and I think this is why it feels slow at times. I am happy to have purchased E2 though, it's definitely been a step up from E1, but sometimes I do wish it would kick my ass a little bit harder as E1 did at times. But as they say, slow progress is good progress.
Day 73
E2 has been doing good things since the last update. Definitely working through some trauma and the subsequent distorted self-beliefs. Today I was thinking about how mistreated I was as a kid when I was about 10 years old, I was hanging out with 14-15-year-olds at the time and they treated me badly with beatings and generally being cunts to me. It made me kind of angry when I thought about it and I remembered one guy in particular who was a real fucker. I thought how nice it would be to find him now and beat the fuck out of him, but the more I thought about it, I began to considered what his circumstances may have been at the time to be that way and what type of pain he had been through. That made me think it's probably best to accept things as they were and let it go with forgiveness. Sometimes I worry that during these years something worse happened in a sexual way but I can't remember anything like that, but it scares me that I have this fear come up from time to time. Surely I'd remember something like that though.
Last night I had some memorable dreams. I had a hard time getting along with girls in my early school years. Don't know why but it probably had something to do with my parents having an abusive relationship. But I got shit on a few times and I think it cemented some negative self-beliefs. Last night I kept dreaming of myself in an uncomfortable situation and I had all these women approach me and talk down to me like I was trash, and although they were women, I could tell when I woke up that it was somehow related to this early childhood experiences. No idea how to explain it but I enjoyed the dream, each time they talked shit to me, I was completely unfazed, almost amused by their filthy looks and what they were saying because I knew it was all bullshit and I didn't believe it.
(01-05-2019, 06:31 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 73
E2 has been doing good things since the last update. Definitely working through some trauma and the subsequent distorted self-beliefs. Today I was thinking about how mistreated I was as a kid when I was about 10 years old, I was hanging out with 14-15-year-olds at the time and they treated me badly with beatings and generally being cunts to me. It made me kind of angry when I thought about it and I remembered one guy in particular who was a real *****. I thought how nice it would be to find him now and beat the **** out of him, but the more I thought about it, I began to considered what his circumstances may have been at the time to be that way and what type of pain he had been through. That made me think it's probably best to accept things as they were and let it go with forgiveness. Sometimes I worry that during these years something worse happened in a sexual way but I can't remember anything like that, but it scares me that I have this fear come up from time to time. Surely I'd remember something like that though.
Last night I had some memorable dreams. I had a hard time getting along with girls in my early school years. Don't know why but it probably had something to do with my parents having an abusive relationship. But I got shit on a few times and I think it cemented some negative self-beliefs. Last night I kept dreaming of myself in an uncomfortable situation and I had all these women approach me and talk down to me like I was trash, and although they were women, I could tell when I woke up that it was somehow related to this early childhood experiences. No idea how to explain it but I enjoyed the dream, each time they talked shit to me, I was completely unfazed, almost amused by their filthy looks and what they were saying because I knew it was all ***** and I didn't believe it.
Interesting with someone else also running E2.
I can relate to the anger. I have had burst of anger that I really have had to release in some way (often with going to the gym and hitting a punching bag). I can recommend it. Anger have been a great catalyst for my healing and I don't always think it's the right way to "forgive and forget". Anger can strengthen you if used in a constructive manner (not going out beating the shit of someone else, but feel what your body want to do and help it release it).
(01-06-2019, 07:06 AM)Greenduck Wrote: [ -> ] (01-05-2019, 06:31 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 73
E2 has been doing good things since the last update. Definitely working through some trauma and the subsequent distorted self-beliefs. Today I was thinking about how mistreated I was as a kid when I was about 10 years old, I was hanging out with 14-15-year-olds at the time and they treated me badly with beatings and generally being cunts to me. It made me kind of angry when I thought about it and I remembered one guy in particular who was a real *****. I thought how nice it would be to find him now and beat the **** out of him, but the more I thought about it, I began to considered what his circumstances may have been at the time to be that way and what type of pain he had been through. That made me think it's probably best to accept things as they were and let it go with forgiveness. Sometimes I worry that during these years something worse happened in a sexual way but I can't remember anything like that, but it scares me that I have this fear come up from time to time. Surely I'd remember something like that though.
Last night I had some memorable dreams. I had a hard time getting along with girls in my early school years. Don't know why but it probably had something to do with my parents having an abusive relationship. But I got shit on a few times and I think it cemented some negative self-beliefs. Last night I kept dreaming of myself in an uncomfortable situation and I had all these women approach me and talk down to me like I was trash, and although they were women, I could tell when I woke up that it was somehow related to this early childhood experiences. No idea how to explain it but I enjoyed the dream, each time they talked shit to me, I was completely unfazed, almost amused by their filthy looks and what they were saying because I knew it was all ***** and I didn't believe it.
Interesting with someone else also running E2.
I can relate to the anger. I have had burst of anger that I really have had to release in some way (often with going to the gym and hitting a punching bag). I can recommend it. Anger have been a great catalyst for my healing and I don't always think it's the right way to "forgive and forget". Anger can strengthen you if used in a constructive manner (not going out beating the shit of someone else, but feel what your body want to do and help it release it).
Yeah true man. I think I've been angry my whole life as a way to cope with sadness and I am a bit over it. But I know what you're saying, at times anger definitely has its place as a type of release.
E2 is still kicking my ass. I have no idea where it's all going, but it can be very tiring at times. I guess it's been about 81 days, I feel like I need a rest from it but I also think it's working on something deep and that's why I feel like taking a break. I guess I'll keep going and see what transpires but it's feeling like a bit of grind.
Day 96
I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.
I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.
(01-26-2019, 06:09 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 96
I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.
I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.
I can relate to the "peeling off the onion" you are talking about. Nice to hear about your progress! I also run E2 and will upgrade to E3 when it comes out to get the FRM and other nice technologies Shannon have developed since it was released.
(01-27-2019, 04:10 AM)Greenduck Wrote: [ -> ] (01-26-2019, 06:09 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 96
I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.
I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.
I can relate to the "peeling off the onion" you are talking about. Nice to hear about your progress! I also run E2 and will upgrade to E3 when it comes out to get the FRM and other nice technologies Shannon have developed since it was released.
I did not use to frequent the forum on a regular basis but lately I have been following Shannon's journal almost daily because of the new stuff happening. I don't understand the upgrades as good as the forum regulars but the FRM from what I remember sounds good. If it's able to bypass fear/resistance and allowing us to execute more easily that would be awesome.
I don't notice huge resistance doing E2, but perhaps the lull periods I describe happen because I am not ready to progress due to the go at your own pace nature of the subliminal. All just speculation, but overall I feel better within myself than I have in a long time and I also have a lot of new healthy habits that I began adopting during E1. The whole rigid all or nothing, success/failure, black and white mindset is a thing of the past, and I am able to flow a lot more through life now in both my actions and thoughts. I had a lot of dreams where I was in situations where I "failed" and rather than contract in shame, I was able to accept that it is no big deal.
Even though I am getting on in age, almost 39 now. I think I still have a lot of potential to achieve some things in life. I am not sure which direction to take with the subliminals, but I know I will keep using them from this site. They are too good to ignore, but I will need to think what direction I want to take in life. Stick with E2, upgrade to E3 or try something new like USLM4. LTU would be cool but I don't have that type of cash to spend on a subliminal. Maybe if I was single and didn't have kids I would, but I'd feel a bit selfish spending that much on myself.
(01-27-2019, 08:08 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ] (01-27-2019, 04:10 AM)Greenduck Wrote: [ -> ] (01-26-2019, 06:09 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 96
I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.
I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.
I can relate to the "peeling off the onion" you are talking about. Nice to hear about your progress! I also run E2 and will upgrade to E3 when it comes out to get the FRM and other nice technologies Shannon have developed since it was released.
I did not use to frequent the forum on a regular basis but lately I have been following Shannon's journal almost daily because of the new stuff happening. I don't understand the upgrades as good as the forum regulars but the FRM from what I remember sounds good. If it's able to bypass fear/resistance and allowing us to execute more easily that would be awesome.
I don't notice huge resistance doing E2, but perhaps the lull periods I describe happen because I am not ready to progress due to the go at your own pace nature of the subliminal. All just speculation, but overall I feel better within myself than I have in a long time and I also have a lot of new healthy habits that I began adopting during E1. The whole rigid all or nothing, success/failure, black and white mindset is a thing of the past, and I am able to flow a lot more through life now in both my actions and thoughts. I had a lot of dreams where I was in situations where I "failed" and rather than contract in shame, I was able to accept that it is no big deal.
Even though I am getting on in age, almost 39 now. I think I still have a lot of potential to achieve some things in life. I am not sure which direction to take with the subliminals, but I know I will keep using them from this site. They are too good to ignore, but I will need to think what direction I want to take in life. Stick with E2, upgrade to E3 or try something new like USLM4. LTU would be cool but I don't have that type of cash to spend on a subliminal. Maybe if I was single and didn't have kids I would, but I'd feel a bit selfish spending that much on myself.
Nice to hear your story, thanks for sharing. I recognize the "all or nothing" thinking and know how good it feels to live a life where you can be just content (i am getting there at least) and not being so held up on what happens around you.
Regarding your attitude towards spending money on yourself - I don't know your financial situation, but I heard a quote that said something in the sense of "the best gift you can give to your kids is your own happiness" that got me thinking about you doing stuff that is good to yourself, doesn't need to mean that they are selfish, but that you get more of the stuff inside that you can share with others.
(01-28-2019, 06:19 AM)Greenduck Wrote: [ -> ] (01-27-2019, 08:08 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ] (01-27-2019, 04:10 AM)Greenduck Wrote: [ -> ] (01-26-2019, 06:09 PM)TheWeapon Wrote: [ -> ]Day 96
I had some type of breakthrough since last post but I can't explain it well or at all. I can see a pattern going and right now I am in a bit of a lull. I had my first dream last night for a while that affected me, but before that it was all static since the last "breakthrough". I don't even bother trying to understand it but I know overall that good things are happening. I do feel in a bit of haze/daze at times, especially when I am resisting, but I am noticing the cycles more now. The lulls where nothing much happens slowly ramps up with more vivid dreaming, then there is usually a bit of resistance where I want to return to old behaviors or thoughts to make myself feel better, but I keep pushing, listening even more before I have some enlightening dream that normally makes little sense, but I know it changes something deep in my mind, like releasing a fear or changing a belief. It goes something like that anyway, who knows though, it's hard to consciously process something that happens deeper.
I've had thoughts to try a new subliminal, but not for the purpose to run away from E2. I think for now I will stay with it because I wonder how many layers does this onion have. I peel back one layer, feel alight, then start working through the next layer. But overall a lot of my anxiety are gone or at least less now in respect to how I am perceived by others. Before E1, I was completely fixated worrying about what other people thought of me, but now after E1 and now E2, I am so much different and it seems to continue getting better all the time.
I can relate to the "peeling off the onion" you are talking about. Nice to hear about your progress! I also run E2 and will upgrade to E3 when it comes out to get the FRM and other nice technologies Shannon have developed since it was released.
I did not use to frequent the forum on a regular basis but lately I have been following Shannon's journal almost daily because of the new stuff happening. I don't understand the upgrades as good as the forum regulars but the FRM from what I remember sounds good. If it's able to bypass fear/resistance and allowing us to execute more easily that would be awesome.
I don't notice huge resistance doing E2, but perhaps the lull periods I describe happen because I am not ready to progress due to the go at your own pace nature of the subliminal. All just speculation, but overall I feel better within myself than I have in a long time and I also have a lot of new healthy habits that I began adopting during E1. The whole rigid all or nothing, success/failure, black and white mindset is a thing of the past, and I am able to flow a lot more through life now in both my actions and thoughts. I had a lot of dreams where I was in situations where I "failed" and rather than contract in shame, I was able to accept that it is no big deal.
Even though I am getting on in age, almost 39 now. I think I still have a lot of potential to achieve some things in life. I am not sure which direction to take with the subliminals, but I know I will keep using them from this site. They are too good to ignore, but I will need to think what direction I want to take in life. Stick with E2, upgrade to E3 or try something new like USLM4. LTU would be cool but I don't have that type of cash to spend on a subliminal. Maybe if I was single and didn't have kids I would, but I'd feel a bit selfish spending that much on myself.
Nice to hear your story, thanks for sharing. I recognize the "all or nothing" thinking and know how good it feels to live a life where you can be just content (i am getting there at least) and not being so held up on what happens around you.
Regarding your attitude towards spending money on yourself - I don't know your financial situation, but I heard a quote that said something in the sense of "the best gift you can give to your kids is your own happiness" that got me thinking about you doing stuff that is good to yourself, doesn't need to mean that they are selfish, but that you get more of the stuff inside that you can share with others.
Yeah, perfectionism and fear of making a mistake have held me back in life. Even though I have been making great progress with the subliminal I still feel like I have a lot to hold me back from being the real me. Perhaps this is all fear based.
Sometimes on E2 I feel like I am in a haze. I worry that being so carefree and aloof might damage new relationships with people. Sometimes I just completely ignore certain types of people, like I can't even deal with their negative energy. I'm sure some people think I'm an asshole but I am trying to move forward in life.
When E3 comes out I will follow your progress and anyone else who uses it before deciding whether to buy it for myself. It's all I can afford to spend on a subliminal, I don't think to buy LTU for that price would sit well with me. I have no doubt that it must be worth the price, otherwise, nobody would buy it, so I don't mean any disrespect to the products.
But yeah like I say, those fears that hold me back still, maybe E3 would do a better job than E2. Wouldn't mind trying something different to one day, something that builds me up instead of the H&C related stuff.
That was more of a ramble than a direct response to your post lol so don't feel pressured to respond. Just some out loud thinking.