Subliminal Talk

(09-17-2018, 11:55 PM)bogdy Wrote: [ -> ]You blame your father for your own unhappiness, take responsability istead.

I did.

Today is my day 2 of break from sub. ASRB.

Today me, my sister and my younger were talk about stuff and things which I thought I had totally forgotten. I got a nostalgic feeling from all that and it started to make me wonder how things have changed in past 14 years and how time passed by.

Things which I thought I would achieve in 15 years back then.. Yet I havnt.

Mostly it's all Career related. But idk my procrastination and immaturity ruined all that.

(09-18-2018, 03:19 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Today is my day 2 of break from sub. ASRB.

Today me, my sister and my younger were talk about stuff and things which I thought I had totally forgotten. I got a nostalgic feeling from all that and it started to make me wonder how things have changed in past 14 years and how time passed by.

Things which I thought I would achieve in 15 years back then.. Yet I havnt.

Mostly it's all Career related. But idk my procrastination and immaturity ruined all that.

Looking back makes us all wonder about the hours and times we have lost. How things could have been better.

What matters is that you are trying to move forward and havent given up.

I still do wonder if this is the right sub for you, and do feel UMOP would have been the better choice. Do you feel this is the right sub?

Do you feel you have executed any sub at all and if so which and what did you execute?

(09-19-2018, 06:57 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]

(09-18-2018, 03:19 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Today is my day 2 of break from sub. ASRB.

Today me, my sister and my younger were talk about stuff and things which I thought I had totally forgotten. I got a nostalgic feeling from all that and it started to make me wonder how things have changed in past 14 years and how time passed by.

Things which I thought I would achieve in 15 years back then.. Yet I havnt.

Mostly it's all Career related. But idk my procrastination and immaturity ruined all that.

Looking back makes us all wonder about the hours and times we have lost. How things could have been better.

What matters is that you are trying to move forward and havent given up.

I still do wonder if this is the right sub for you, and do feel UMOP would have been the better choice. Do you feel this is the right sub?

Do you feel you have executed any sub at all and if so which and what did you execute?

Tbh the only thing this sub help me start was my Business. Thats all it has helped me to achieve in last 30 days and the skills required to start that. Specialy Social Skills ..Which btw is awesome.

But I also wanted make a habit to study,read book and textbooks daily. Which I was able to do for like 7-10 days but after that I am not able to make up my mind. Its like impossible.

Its like my mind is jumping like monkey and its hard to make it sit down and study. like ADHD type.

I do have noticed some improvement in memory and recall stuff but its not enough.

Also when ever I take Two days ASRB break..I feel not so good. I mean I waste time and sleep all day long in those two days.

Idk what my next sub should be..I am too tired right now even to thing about a new sub. Will try my best to listen to it for another month and see where I go.

Maybe things will happen or improve slowly..Who knows.

I am starting to think how I can keep myself more busy. I mean the more busy and productive u are the less time u have to waste on other BS.

Also, I think UMOP made me take care of financial matters so that my subc can be in peace and I can focus on my studies much more effectively. This is what I think.

I also noticed that after every 2 days ASRB break. I notice that sub works on another level. But during those two days my subc is heavily tired,sleepy and in time wasting mode.

First time I took 2 days break. I think I did nothing but sleep.
Second time- I wasted 2 days on "Liveme" App.
This time - I did waste but Idk i felt kinda shit and little sad and depressed.

I always think 2 days will be like a "mini vacation" but it is not. Idk why is that.

Havnt went to visit my doc for a while also. I dont feel like it. Wont call it it procrastination though.

I seriously don't know what this sub is doing anymore.

I seriously dont know what should I do.

Tasks that I thought were important before this sub,now seems useless. Even its little one.

I havnt had any sort of desire to read books or anything.

I have no idea how my days are passing by. It feels like my subc is busy but idk what. My subc keeps on thinking about random stuffs/ideas that could help me make good money but aside from that nothing else. Also, the reason I dont implement those Idea are

Lack of Network(Kind of people needed)
Lack of Capital
No the right time.

Many people did say that I have great ideas,but whatever it idc

Haven't watched porn but I did came across few(2-3) "live.me" streams which made me bust my nuts..But tbh I wasn't looking for those kinda porn. In my defence I will say that "I didnt find porn, Porn found me".

I also had a dream where I dreamt that Shannon released "STMA-5.5G" after that dream I noticed that I absolutely forgot about fapping for few days.

I started this sub on Aug 15 and Today is September 25...40 Days have passed. I am starting to get bored idk why.

5 Loops from Tomorrow ..

My Subc is real Bitch. Today I did 3 loops and another 2 loops (after reading 5 loops discussion between Jake and Shannon).

While I was listening to 4 loop I was really pissed at myself for being in this mess and hated myself for being stuck in this reality.

A reality where I wanna do stuff but my subc makes it real hard for me. Yesterday my mom told me something about my grandfather and it made me realize that where is this shit coming from. Its like I have to break this "Curse" which is stopping future generations from achieving that goal which is related to financial freedom.

Anyway that's a different topic..

My problem is that I can't seem to form any good habits. Like I wanna read books related to personality development and financial success but I can't seem to stick to it.

I got "Rich Dad and Poor Dad" I read half the book in like 2-3 days. But after that I can't move forward. I can't get my subc into that mindset. I have no idea how my days flew by.

I did read my work related text books but it gave me nausea but I still picked it up and read but now I have touch those. It was only for like 10 days... Now I have to see if 5 loops will do any good. I even avoid journaling and replying to PMs.. Procrastination and Laziness, exhausting feelings takes over.

First Dream :

I dreamt that my testicles were surgicaly removed and that I will never be able to have a normal relationship with any girl or wife, That I will have to artificially pump my dick with some sort of mechanical device achieving an erection. It scared the shit out of me.

Second Dream: Next Day.

I dreamt that I poisoned my younger brother as he was trying to kill me. But as he was dying I told him that I am sorry and so he did, saying that he had no other choice. He said that he loved me and I told him the same, telling that he is the best brother in the world and I love him so much. I wanted to say so many things to before he took his last breath...

This dream was so real that when I woke up, I was in absolute shock!!.

I just wasn't able to comprehend this feeling of loss. Infact I won't be able to comprehend this loss if this happened in real life with any member of my family

BTW I dreamt all this 3-4 days ago.. Shannon buddy what u make of this 3 loops btw

I have noticed that I have this fear of taking responsibility. It more like fear of leadership.

Its like I fear taking it cause I will mess things up. Idk how to overcoming that. I am confused and full of doubts. Infact I doubt myself and my decisions.

I also come across days where I feel as if I have "No emotions" as if I have "No soul".

I do stuff but there isn't any happiness, Euphoria from it. Due to this I can't stick to that task for a long time.. Everything becomes boring.. Everything.

(10-03-2018, 07:39 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]I have noticed that I have this fear of taking responsibility. It more like fear of leadership.

Its like I fear taking it cause I will mess things up. Idk how to overcoming that. I am confused and full of doubts. Infact I doubt myself and my decisions.

I also come across days where I feel as if I have "No emotions" as if I have "No soul".

I do stuff but there isn't any happiness, Euphoria from it. Due to this I can't stick to that task for a long time.. Everything becomes boring.. Everything.

To me this sounds like a fear of failure. However I think Shannon will says this all comes down to fear which is what he a working to smash.

See how you go with the 5 loops for 3 months solid. Let's not jump around let's stick with it for 3months.

After that we and he will know whether this helped it if we should jump onto dmsi.

(10-03-2018, 07:39 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]I have noticed that I have this fear of taking responsibility. It more like fear of leadership.

Its like I fear taking it cause I will mess things up. Idk how to overcoming that. I am confused and full of doubts. Infact I doubt myself and my decisions.

I also come across days where I feel as if I have "No emotions" as if I have "No soul".

I do stuff but there isn't any happiness, Euphoria from it. Due to this I can't stick to that task for a long time.. Everything becomes boring.. Everything.

I'm not anything close to a qualified medical professional, but this sounds a little like anhedonia - which is a key feature of major depressive disorder. I remember you saying you thought subs had "cured" you of your depression, but I would keep a close eye on this and perhaps check back in with your doc.

(10-03-2018, 06:07 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]First Dream :

I dreamt that my testicles were surgicaly removed and that I will never be able to have a normal relationship with any girl or wife, That I will have to artificially pump my dick with some sort of mechanical device achieving an erection. It scared the shit out of me.

Second Dream: Next Day.

I dreamt that I poisoned my younger brother as he was trying to kill me. But as he was dying I told him that I am sorry and so he did, saying that he had no other choice. He said that he loved me and I told him the same, telling that he is the best brother in the world and I love him so much. I wanted to say so many things to before he took his last breath...

This dream was so real that when I woke up, I was in absolute shock!!.

I just wasn't able to comprehend this feeling of loss. Infact I won't be able to comprehend this loss if this happened in real life with any member of my family

BTW I dreamt all this 3-4 days ago.. Shannon buddy what u make of this 3 loops btw

The first dream seems to be either a symbolic dream referring to the metaphorical "loss of your manhood" and/or a dream designed to frighten your conscious mind into being afraid of that.

The second dream seems to relate to your "little brother", a piece of your family and your SELF (likely some part of your subconscious) "dying" (changing) because you "poisoned" it (fed it a subliminal instruction set that changed it) because it was "trying to kill you" (trying to prevent you from something). In other words, it's a dream either of dealing with a change to your resistant subconscious, or a dream communicating from that part of you that you are "killing it" by asking it to change and do something different.

Both dreams are a very good sign for making changes with a subliminal. It's a shame you got impatient and jumped to 5 loops, instead of following the directions. Now that you have, might as well see what happens.

I also wanna tell u guys this.. Ever since I stopped DMSI3.2... I am so scared of being alone. I always feel as if someone thing is behind me and watching me.. Sometimes I get scared when my phone rings. Like some ghost or something.. I know it's all in my head but you know.. It's not good.. Why is this happening? I am even scared to pee or brush my teeth alone. lol

I freaking out I understand but being in state of constant fear.. I do remember going thru this fearful state once on DMSI but it was for like a week only.. But now I have left DMSI. It's back?
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Something I didn't mention in my journal is that I saw and felt things the first few days when I first began to play dmsi a.

I was outside, and I saw this thing. The closest I can describe it would be like a very large, abouit four to five feet long by about a foot wide black bird wing. It was as if it was made up of small grains of sand. I saw it flying around about 30 feet away from me.

When I came home that day, I felt the presense of a being above my couch, where I had been sleeping while playing dmsi. I couldn't see it, but I knew that it was there.

It didn't scare me, but it was really abnormal. Are you still experiencing that fear?

Did you guys have these reactions on 3.1?