(08-18-2018, 05:12 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (08-17-2018, 05:54 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ] (08-16-2018, 08:44 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]That's unusual. The best thing I can think of is that maybe DMSI was in the middle of working on/healing something that wasn't quite complete.
Yeah, even I was wondering that maybe something still needs to be addressed. I remember using OF-5G but I don't remember feeling this much of fear.
I mean I am even in state of fear when in day time. WTF..?
Also Majority of time I just used DMSI3.2 A.. I used "B" for a total of 37 days in 4 month journey of DMSI.
Since Many of u guys are using DMSI for like a year..So maybe I also need a longer run. I did read few journals where they said 2nd run of DMSI was easier but they used the same version when new versions wasn't out.. They took a month break before getting back.
I also told my homeopathic doctor about this fear thing and he gave me some med and advice. I do feel less fear since then but still there..
It seems like that is the most likely explanation... it wasn't finished digging out a prominent, deep fear yet.
I notice you are only using one loop of UMOP and having resuistance headaches and fear based nausea. That means some part of you is extremely afraid of executing. I wonder why you didn't just do the 3 loops the instructions told you to do?
Yes, even I think that is what's happening and only explanation. So I plan to use DMSI again, after UM-OP ofc.
When I first started UM-OP just doing 1 loop will give me fear based nausea and headaches.. But now I am using 2 loops. Weird thing is that now I feel less nauseous but more nauseated after finishing 2 loops..
Motivation is only a little bit..On DMSI bloom I wanted to do nothing..I mean nothing was feeling lazy and was in bed.. But on UM-OP there is a slight change.. I now atleast try.. Before not even that.
I will slowly up it to 3 loops as u recommended.
(08-18-2018, 06:29 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ] (08-18-2018, 05:12 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (08-17-2018, 05:54 PM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ] (08-16-2018, 08:44 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]That's unusual. The best thing I can think of is that maybe DMSI was in the middle of working on/healing something that wasn't quite complete.
Yeah, even I was wondering that maybe something still needs to be addressed. I remember using OF-5G but I don't remember feeling this much of fear.
I mean I am even in state of fear when in day time. WTF..?
Also Majority of time I just used DMSI3.2 A.. I used "B" for a total of 37 days in 4 month journey of DMSI.
Since Many of u guys are using DMSI for like a year..So maybe I also need a longer run. I did read few journals where they said 2nd run of DMSI was easier but they used the same version when new versions wasn't out.. They took a month break before getting back.
I also told my homeopathic doctor about this fear thing and he gave me some med and advice. I do feel less fear since then but still there..
It seems like that is the most likely explanation... it wasn't finished digging out a prominent, deep fear yet.
I notice you are only using one loop of UMOP and having resuistance headaches and fear based nausea. That means some part of you is extremely afraid of executing. I wonder why you didn't just do the 3 loops the instructions told you to do?
Yes, even I think that is what's happening and only explanation. So I plan to use DMSI again, after UM-OP ofc.
When I first started UM-OP just doing 1 loop will give me fear based nausea and headaches.. But now I am using 2 loops. Weird thing is that now I feel less nauseous but more nauseated after finishing 2 loops..
Motivation is only a little bit..On DMSI bloom I wanted to do nothing..I mean nothing was feeling lazy and was in bed.. But on UM-OP there is a slight change.. I now atleast try.. Before not even that.
I will slowly up it to 3 loops as u recommended.
Allow me to point out to you that instructions are not recommendations. They are specific instructions on what to do to make the program produce the best results.
Did 3 loops today and I am so "High" that I can't focus on anything else.. Its like that situation where u had an idea about something and then you keep roaming around in ur room and you are think about nothing but that idea..
I am thinking too much.. Idk if this a good thing or bad.
It's like my brain or subconscious does this stuff so that I can get used to that kinda of idea. It's like I am. Getting high on new information.
I hope I can calm down. Causes trouble sleeping
I need to find a balance this is what I think.
I have that too sometimes, it helps for me to write everything down. so I don't forget it and also so my mind has a reason to stop thinking about it.
Cheers
Griffin
I am not feeling so good.
As soon as the loops starts I feel as if I have been drained of all the energy. This is like opposite of UM-OP.
Don't even feel like talking. Specially on loop 3. I feel sick, tired
I think I am gaining little bit of self discipline.
For example I am removing any apps which can distract me and also I am avoiding certain types of food and drinks which I don't think is healthy 8n long term.
Also I am regularly trying to get into the habit of reading. I do read 2-pages even though my mind shouts and want to run away still I try.
I recently ordered my newspaper boy to start bringing me Economics Times News papers as I wanna learn about stock and increase my knowledge in that area. Also that way I will read more and will help me develop my reading habits.
I am now using 3 loops and I am now used to it.
I do feel a little nauseous when I force myself to read.. Kinda when I am on sub loops.
10 days.. Lets see how much change another 10 days can bring in
Also I dreamt about my friends who I have lost touch with,since 2008. After that 2008 things went down the hill.
Can't believe it's been a decade.. I wish I atleast bought few Bitcoins lol
Idk if this is resistance or what but I am feeling fucking tired.
I am cutting off my bad habits but forming new one is hard if that makes sense
Few things are happening but I am in a state where I don't what to do stuff yet I am doing.. Even though I feel tired I find it hard to rest.
So you don't want to do stuff, but you're doing it anyway? Do I understand that correctly?
(08-29-2018, 03:48 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]So you don't want to do stuff, but you're doing it anyway? Do I understand that correctly?
Yes, for example.
I have been diagnosed with "Mental fatigue". Due to this my cognitive abilities are messed up along with that I find it very very very hard to install new habits.
But since I have been on UM-OP I am trying to pic up my textbook and try to read and understand all the technical stuff. Which I really really hate.. I hate it actually my subc hates it and in the past I would have just given up.
But now everyday I try to read 3 pages(Yes, I am that much fucked up) and solve numerical proboem. Most of the when I force myself to study.. I feel very nauseated, but after that I take a break and come back again.
I really don't enjoy it.. But I know that if I don't then I wouldn't be able to achieve anything in my life.
I even uninstall all the apps from my mobile YouTube, telegram reddit.. Everything.
Instead I now read news papers (Stock related newspapers) instead of wasting time on phone.
I now avoid mobile phone as much as possible.
Also one more thing. I have noticed the before UM-OP I would fap and then fall asleep but now I can't even sleep even though I fap and feel lazy.
I only sleep at night which is good for my sleep timing.
Maybe after few days of this I will get used to all this.. Its a progress but a very uncomfortable one.
If I don't read my textbook then I feel bad even though I don't like it.. I still get distracted sometimes but I am improving slowly and Slowly
For past 2 days I haven't been doing anything. No motivation no nothing in fact I just want to lie down in my bed. Doing nothing. Don't even wanna think about doing anything..
Maybe my subc is in a little shock and since I took 2 days break. I think all my mind wanna do is rest or something Idk.
Also feeling nauseous since past few days so I went to homeopathic doctor and he gave me meds and now I am kinda Ok.
It's been 15 days already.. I hope by the end of 90 days. I can expect some great changes.
I really don't expect any miracle from this sub as I know it's gonna take time to rewire my brain to overcome procastination and motivation issues. Can't expect a 20 years old problem to be solved it a month.. But hey! Anything is possible.
I have been having dreams related to my high school friends. Idk why I am having these dreams and what they are doing...
Few days ago I had a dreams which strongly signifies success.
Before that I had an experience with some spiritual guru and he did stuff which no one will believe and will say it was a trick..
The final outcome of that thing was that success is on the way.
But I hardly get excited when anyone tells me that success is on the way or stuff that.. Cause I have learned the hard way that too much expectations will lead to disappointment.
I have come to believe that we create our own future and what we do now will have an impact on our life greatly after a decade.
I just try to go with the flow, All u gotta do is change ur mindset and things will flow.. This is the key
I remember when I was 13 I used to dream that when I would turn 25 I would be well settled with a good job and will lead a happy life getting married and shit.
But the reason I wasn't able to achieve all that because I avoided working hard on the stuff which really mattered. I was motivated but always did stuff at last moment.
Always thought that in next grade I will. Improve then after that I thought I will improve in high school then again in college..
I procastinated real bad for 17 years.. Now I am 27.
The Only thing I feel bad about is that I wasn't able to develop any useful skills or talents in past 17 years.
If anyone asks me right now "what r u good at?" type of question.. I really don't know that answer.
In the end my ego is what destroyed me.. Thinking that I knew better than everyone else, thinking that others are fool and don't know anything..
Still feeling nauseous.
So today I didn't do anything that I would call productive. I read newspaper headlines and did open up my book to study but wasn't into it.
Lets see if the momentum builds up again or not.