For all the talk of fear, I feel like we haven't broached the importance of self love (with regards to assisting execution).
Self-forgiveness is one thing, but generating self-love is something I've not felt, even though it's scripted in Version A. Has anyone else?
Love is not a mental thing. It's something felt. Perhaps sourcing universal unconditional love - for the user to regenerate and actually feel love for self - is in order. This source would only be used for that purpose - not aura - and perhaps would free up the other energy sources for aura generation, rather than using them for self healing, etc.
Just an idea that came to me, earlier, as I read Mat's post about being kinder to himself.
I have. It’s not constant but it’s noticeable.
Furthermore, for people like me (read: feelers) - I need to:
Feel motivated
Feel positive (not just think positive)
Feel attraction
Feel sexual
Feel loved
Feel relaxed
Feel safe & secure
The mental aspect of thought alone doesn't seem to produce these things for me, per se.
Self love is a tricky one. A lot of common wisdom floating around today would tell you to just practice self love. But I've learned it's more complicated than that. Lack of self love can sometimes be a protective mechanism. So it's not that we don't love ourselves enough, sometimes we know the events that would transpire when we increase that self love and that's enough to shut it out. It's like individuals who self sabotage romantic relationships because they fear the person leaving them. It's that mentality of beating it to the punch, exerting control even though the outcome still sucks but at least you know what the outcome is.
I think when Shannon handles the fear a lot of this stuff will fall into place. He's right when he says fear is the block stopping us. I've spent a lot of my life analyzing my own behaviors and it seems to always come back to fear. It just leads to a lot of poor decisions under the false assumption it's necessary for survival.
My subc is back to using guilt/shaming methods against me. Why execute, when doing so will just hurt me or whoever is affected by my execution. "No good of it can come to anyone, you'll just destroy lives."
I talked myself out of that line of thought - which I won't go into - but the feeling of fear if I executed and/or capitalized on execution was very palpable.
Resistance finally won out. I just couldn't take it anymore. I woke up in a state of emotional turmoil, and I'd had it.
I turned on E2 for the first time since I stopped it to run AOSI. Within an hour, I felt better. I can honestly say, for the exception of a few hiccups, that I've had a pretty good day. That's saying something, because I'm pretty sure I would have been bedridden otherwise - and that's something you just can't do when you have 2 young kids that need you.
I don't foresee returning to DMSI until 3.3. 3.2 stressed me to the max, and I'm going for the gentle approach for the time being. Feeling much less stressed. Maybe a few of the new grays will turn back brown, lol.
Odd thing to report, but since starting E2, my NocWood has returned. Dreams are pretty crazy, as well. Every time I woke during the night to turn over, my kickstand was up. Guess I'll have to sleep on my back from now on, or risk penile fracture. Haha, j/k.
Dreamed I was on vacation in the mountains, and this beautiful fog rolled down every hill and out of every building - and all the buildings were ornate. I remember being in awe of everything I saw, and I was traveling with people I loved. It's nice to have dreams like that.
I'm getting more staring from women again, and my wife is extremely affectionate. I wonder if the love flood and DMSI energy are mixing, and I'm combining DMSI bloom w/ E2. It's possible.
You're discovering what happens when you soothe the fears that 3.2 triggered and stop fighting it.
Hey dude, I have a couple of questions. Do you still sleep on the couch? Also, what was/were the original reason(s) you started sleeping on the couch in the first place?
(09-26-2018, 04:22 PM)apollolux Wrote: [ -> ]Hey dude, I have a couple of questions. Do you still sleep on the couch? Also, what was/were the original reason(s) you started sleeping on the couch in the first place?
No. I would only sleep on the couch if napping or if I woke up early and couldn't go back to sleep in bed.
RTBoss, reading posts above about your SIL being Oneitis for you, I think maybe a big part of the way you feel about her is because of DMSI. When running DMSI 3.2, I liked certain women alot more than normal, kind of possessed with them...I didn't realise it until I stopped running DMSI and the programming stopped, that I no longer felt the same way about them, it was like I was under a DMSI spell.
(09-27-2018, 01:24 AM)Fluffy Wrote: [ -> ]RTBoss, reading posts above about your SIL being Oneitis for you, I think maybe a big part of the way you feel about her is because of DMSI. When running DMSI 3.2, I liked certain women alot more than normal, kind of possessed with them...I didn't realise it until I stopped running DMSI and the programming stopped, that I no longer felt the same way about them, it was like I was under a DMSI spell.
Could be. I haven't seen her since stopping my 3.2 run. I still think about her on the daily (as in, she at least has crossed my mind).
At one point during my 3.2 run, I got really excited because I lost
all interest in her. After a month or two, the interest started diminishing, and then was completely gone. I asked Shannon about it, and he said it was more likely resistance to 3.2 than healing something. Sure enough, after he pointed that out, my subc dropped that sneaky tactic b/c interest came flooding back.
We'll see what 3.3 brings. Should be interesting, to say the least!
(09-27-2018, 01:24 AM)Fluffy Wrote: [ -> ]RTBoss, reading posts above about your SIL being Oneitis for you, I think maybe a big part of the way you feel about her is because of DMSI. When running DMSI 3.2, I liked certain women alot more than normal, kind of possessed with them...I didn't realise it until I stopped running DMSI and the programming stopped, that I no longer felt the same way about them, it was like I was under a DMSI spell.
This happened to me! I developed oneitis for a girl (in my area) whom I had never met before. I'm about 33 days off from using DMSI and the oneitis has subsided a lot. No idea why or how that happened. The healing from DMSI 3.2 was incredible...especially the fear part. Not sure how the crazy crush feeling developed.
DMSI is designed to remove all the barriers to you having sex with whomever you want to have sex with, and then make you irresistibly sexually attractive to them. Part of the result is that you experience more free and obvious attraction to those you are naturally attracted to, and part of it is that you are using your attraction to signal that interest, which is part of how you become more attractive to them and take a step further toward a relationship.
People tend to react with attraction to those who are attracted to them already, more than people signalling no attraction or negative attraction.
It's not a "DMSI spell", it's you opening up to your own natural attraction and expressing it more.