Subliminal Talk

Started my first loop of 3.2 a

This is me reaching out to you guys for help.

I have been feeling somewhat numb / apathetic lately. intentionally trying to numb myself to stop feeling painful emotions.

I am not over that last chick yet. Even though I feel better then I did a month ago.

Whenever I think about her I feel very upset and feel like someone's died.

I'm having a difficult time getting over the fact that I won't be able to see her again even as friends.

I went out last night to downtown bars and I had a great time, I didn't think about her. I don't think about her all the time but when I do it's very upsetting to me. I am trying to force myself to stop thinking about her.


I feel somewhat suicidal tonight, although I don't feel AT ALL like I would act on those feelings. My logic / reasoning is still there so I don't need help to not commit suicide or anything like that because I wouldn't do that.

But the thoughts are there.

I want your guys advice on what I should do to help myself, I feel like someones died and even though there are so many fish in the sea, no two fish are the same.

There will never be anyone with that exact personality / looks that she had and that's what upsets me the most.

I need your guys help please.

Another thing that is bothering me is that the escort chick likes me and I like her and anytime I want I can ask her out and she will agree to a date.

But i'm afraid of developing feelings for her given her situation and becoming jealous and causing myself more pain.

Im very attracted to her physically and mentally. born same day too the chemistry is quiet strong so far.

this was our last conversation on friday

"I'm glad you quit the massage parlor (still escorting but quit massage place)
if it was up to me Id wish you didnt have to work in that industry at all
but im not here to change you or tell you what to do
just know i dont like it or find it attractive"

she said

"says the one who met through the industry lol,
i get it though, believe me when i say that..its not a forever thing
i got plans anyways. hope your weekend goes by quick in there (jail)
have an amazing weekend and take it easy xoxo"

I was 10 min away from having to go in for the weekend thats why she said bye.

I feel you man. In your case there is not much you can do except giving it time. Time heals most!
In your case,i would travel somewhere for a change. If I cant, I try to keep company of other people and date your other girl.
The idea that she is the most perfect person for you and there is no other one like her is your own projection on her. There is never justone. Never never never
I was in the same situation three or four times before I realized it is an illusion to think there is only the one. Be more tolerant:-) there are a few billion girls.
Mind you Dmsi might be exposing you to these emotions by way of healing. There is no way to get over trauma but by facing it

I had a dream last night, where I was reading a book, and while reading the book the movie was playing out in my head.

It felt like I had this dream in the past too, It was a survival movie, in IRAN with my family there.

I have issues with my family at the moment. The movie made me cry constantly. I was literally crying while sleeping and in real life for a good 30 minutes at least.

it felt like every scene in the movie was an INSANE profound epiphany. Literally was one of the most intense dreams ive ever had. Lots of death and loss related themes in the movie.

definitely has to do with the healing and clearing module.

(03-27-2018, 12:38 AM)Light Wrote: [ -> ]I feel you man. In your case there is not much you can do except giving it time. Time heals most!
In your case,i would travel somewhere for a change. If I cant, I try to keep company of other people and date your other girl.
The idea that she is the most perfect person for you and there is no other one like her is your own projection on her. There is never justone. Never never never
I was in the same situation three or four times before I realized it is an illusion to think there is only the one. Be more tolerant:-) there are a few billion girls.
Mind you Dmsi might be exposing you to these emotions by way of healing. There is no way to get over trauma but by facing it

THanks man I appreciate that. I wish I could travel but im not allowed out of BC for a year and half. Plus I go to jail eveyr weekend.

I neve said she's the perfect one for me. But I still really liked her individual personality and looks.

She is the hottest women I've ever met but I know she's not perfect for me. In fact there are allot of flaws in her personality and incompatibility issues.

But that doesn't change the fact that I really valued her as a person and now I am unable to see her maybe forever.


But i get what ur saying. Time will heal, it's healed me in the past of pain much greater then this.


Still sad though. I care for her.

it's good to care

You are on Test right, if anything you shoul feel happier and less attached. Check your estrogen levels, perhaps they are high.

(03-27-2018, 06:39 PM)Illusive Man Wrote: [ -> ]You are on Test right, if anything you shoul feel happier and less attached. Check your estrogen levels, perhaps they are high.

No my estrogen levels are not high. I take something to reduce it. And I know what my levels are at any given time because ive been on it for so long i can tell.

I just am that type of person.When I like someone allot it's hard for me to just stop liking them. I have stronger feelings for people then the average person based on what i've seen.

Hi Ray, I feel for what you're going through. Everybody is different and what works for me may not work for you, but I'll tell you how I got through it. For me, it's about reinvesting in myself and redefining what I want. It's so much easier to get over someone if you're more excited about your life and what will happen next in your life than being with her. Hope this helps.

(03-28-2018, 01:56 AM)Raikahoken Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Ray, I feel for what you're going through. Everybody is different and what works for me may not work for you, but I'll tell you how I got through it. For me, it's about reinvesting in myself and redefining what I want. It's so much easier to get over someone if you're more excited about your life and what will happen next in your life than being with her. Hope this helps.

Thanks bro I appreciate that. I agree with you. That's actually the only thing keeping me hopeful, the fact that everything in my life is going SO WELL right now, new apartment I just bought, new car, body is where I want it to be finally in my life. And my confidence / inner game is at an all time high.


You're totally right! I still miss her and want her but I do realize it's not the end of the world and i'm in a pretty fortunate and good position in life overall.

For me, the gym is something that really helps me, it makes me feel good when i'm there, get my mind off it and also remind me that i'm an attractive person.

tbh I had felt way better for the last 2 weeks. 3.2a really brought out the pain though, that's good though because it means i'm executing I believe. I feel allot better today although i still miss her.


yesterday I made the decision that i want to become a tattoo artist (traditional and western japanese)
I spent 4 hours drawing and it really helped me get my mind off it too.

i'm not a good artist but im going to take lessons and practise all the time and get to where I need to be in a few years and become an apprentice.

I banged a smoking hot escort today. I found out that I made her cum, i never knew if I was able to make women cum, because I didn't know what it was supposed to be like or feel like when they cum. But somehow the discussion with us got to that and she said "You made me cum earlier that's why it was wet"

Lol it was interesting because I never knew I could, I didn't realize I am capable of that.

Also I found out that breathing out and in through MOUTH is the best way to get that sensitivity in your penis gone, so you don't cum prematurely. (I taught myself this she didn't teach me)

I went from cumming instantly few years ago to lasting as long as I want. I trained myself using breathing techniques and law of attraction. And DMSI I think helped too.

So the escort chick that i like, (from now on referring to her as Kat.

Kat has been waiting for me to ask her out but i've been saying i'm busy, only messaging her once a week before jail to keep her interested and let her know i'm still interested.

I sent her a picture of me today at the pool with a caption saying 'Hope your having a good week Kat, can't w8 to spend time with you outside of Pharoah( the massage place she worked at) finally"

She sent me a picture of her self in her room in her thong in a sexual pose with the caption "Hope you are having a good week and staying out of trouble xoxo"

So i'm definitely still in, I'm in the power position again which is nice, because the last chick made me crumble into weakness at the end of the relationship so it's nice to be back in a frame where I feel so solid and still maintain my masculinity.


I got some great advice from some of the guys in jail and also the users on this forum.

I noticed I was too far deep in my masculinity and aggression and not utilizing the feminine aspect of my personality enough. Too much focus on attraction game and not comfort game.

Buddy from my jail who I partied with on sunday after jail has banged over 500 women in his life, hes 29 and super charismatic, feminine type guy.

He said he just talks to woman like humans and not like hes trying to fuck em.

Simple concept, but something allot of guys that came from PUA backgrounds tend to overlook.

I noticed i'm very social and much more extroverted and easily able to hold conversations.

anxiety is very low when interacting with people. I ran into someone from the dog park from the past and normally i would have had more anxiety in these situations.


The cashier gave me bags and she said she wont charge me for some reason. She also wouldn't stop talking to me. She wasnt attractive but seemed to see me as friendly or something.


I feel a celebrity effect for sure, to a certain degree. It's kinda subtle but noticeable at the same time.

People are very nice to me now when i'm in public.

I feel very alpha and strong too. My body language is very good now.

My self esteem is an all time high and my anxiety at an all time low. I can feel this for sure. I never felt this good before. Two runs of AM was great, but this is even stronger.

Decided to jump back on B. I was executing stronger it felt like on B. I don't need allot of healing I think anyways. I feel good when I'm with hot women. Comftorable around them and masculine frame.

Went back to version A. I might as well take benefit of the extra healing.

Even though I rather execute NOW more instead of heal, I think the wise thing to do is get as much healing as possible so I can execute even stronger in the near future.

This is the ideal time for me to heal since I don't have much to do work wise atm.