this is to track the range of feelings that i have been having since stopping
DMSI 3.1. I was excuting partially and had some snipes that were certainly
DMSi effect. i got approached in DMSI 3.1. ( she directly asked my number) she is a 6/10 though.
since i stopped DMSI 3.1 i have massive feelings of guilt. this is my main problem. guilt takes over me and prevents me from excuting 100%.
i experienced a similar thing when i tried SM.
yesterday and the day after i got so sensitive so full of a range of feelings of fear guilt and nostalgia. all of a sudden i had all those feelings. It is no doubt in my mind that TID is at work. to derail the program, i resorted to masturbation 3 times yesterday. I conscioulsy know i am just trying to escape from executing. I am gonna change that though.
DMSI 3.1 brought me the habit of healthy eating. i can´t stand now junk food or eat too much meat or the like. I eat more fruits nuts fish and veggies and i started to notice a change in my body and mind. i have never been cooking this much at home!
I have been also motivated to seek higher positions at work and study.an urge to make some money.
I will try to update this journal as much as i can because i really need to keep record of my feelings which are right now uncontrollable. i had to cry yesterday for no obvious reason.
the massive feelings of guilt and fear subsided a little bit and i was very happy yesterday for no obvious reason:-)
what i have now is flashback of two particular incidents that keep popping up in my head: I had a crash on one girl almost a year ago and yesterday i was thinking about that a lot. It is as if my mind is trying to digest the loss. I think i am healing from that slowly. the same thing also abotu a russian girl i dated once but i could not keep her for reasons beyond my reach. i feel i got thick-skinned since rejection affects me now really a day or two and i move on...
I am also rejecting some girls, which is a new thing for me. before I d keep them hanging just not to lose them completely. now i dont care!
I really feel that this new version will be a major step forwards. I say this because of what I am already feeling and experiencing before even starting the new version. I feel the cracks that allow me to derail are getting cemented one after the other.
one loop today hybrid silent, streaming
heightened heartbeat
smooth not causing me any trouble right now
definitely felt an aura in my cheeks and hands
I am positive about this version sofar
Few girls eying me on the street
I am calmed and not anxious.
Looking forwards to the second loop tomorrow where
I will have a chance to be in a place with few girls
today, i had to wake up very early to go to work and the weather is icy outside. I noticed accidentally something. when i stepped out of the door, i was feeling very cold and had to walk to the bus about 10 minutes. it was freezing. when i got into the bus i started listening to one loop of Dmsi. I got outside after about 10 minutes and had to walk a long way to the train station. I was not feeling as cold as before. my entire body was very warm and the cold didnt bother me that much!
to the third day whenever i listen to one loop, i feel hungry and thirsthy after it an di really need to eat something. reminds me of early versions of DMsi.
in the last two days, i started to notice some women are eying me and when i look they turn their head quickly not to be noticed!
I am not feeling any tiredness or sleepiness from the sub.
it is a very smooth version for me ( until now)
I am calmer and not anxious and do not feel guitly like before.
I am not worried about some other blatant results right now. I have no doubts the sub is doing deep stuff at the deepest level of my unconscious. when i look back at the results of other versions and until now, I am really at awe!
two loops yesterday gave me immediate headdache which lasted all evening.
I am not having the external results that some of you guys are having, but i am having lot of sweet internal changes. the most obvious is that i gave up on fap and porn. this is massive for me because once i stop those i start to act on real women and success is inevitable. I start to channel my sexual energy towards the right things to do in life, be it women money study or fitness or the like.
this version is really smooth until now. I can not believe that i am taking all that massive data in the sub and it is not causing me any tiredness, fatigue or conflicts in my head. I am so peaceful in my head and positive towards lot of things...
keep going Dmsi keep going...
almost forgot to mention something online and social media is getting interesting. I no longer post anything on facebook and do not care that much what is going on in there. on Tinder i am getting more and more matches. it is very likely i am having two dates this week. well at least one is confirmed on thursday!
keep going Dmsi keep going....
after one loop I feel hungry and thirsty, i need to eat.
I realized today on a tinder date the benefits i got from listening to Dmsi 3.1 all these months: It made me pay attention to what i eat and eat only health stuff. i didnt realize what that does have to do with being sexy and attractive. of course eating welll helps you in getting in good shape. but today i realized that it is more than that. I have become a real good cook and that is an asset. Its is a value i gained when i decided to eat healthy. eating healthy meant for me cooking home as much as i can. today as i sat talking to C on a tinder date she asked me what i like to eat and i said (by passing) that i can cook very good. we immediately made a date to cook at her place.
now back to Dmsi 2b. since the TID phase i have been having more matches on Tinder. today i had a Date with C. It went smooth and i managed to communicate my sexual side to her among other things. touching her was natural and normal and i had almost no negativetalk in my head. i was there listening and enjoying the date. One little thing i noticed, C got very red in the face (on her cheeks) whenever i got nearer to her. i asked her if she always get red in the face. she says no! here i was thinking about Dmsi!
Now C is a girl i can keep as a girlfriend if i want to, or i can suggest to her any form of relationship i feel comfortable about. it is a good day.
tomorrow I am having my second date from Tinder. this time the girl is really hot. So, i will put myself and Dmsi to the test:-)
I am generally feeling calm and happy. my backpain also vanished at the moment. It could well be that i started to walk differently. in line with physical changes. i noticed today that i wear a seductive smile almost always when i look at a girl. it is really interesting.
So nothing over borad but i am happy so far about this version of Dmsi
Today i got the first sign of attraction from a woman. as i got back from work ( quite tired) i wanted to buy some fruits. when i got in a cute girl was standing there ( working as security). she kept looking at me as i walked through the different halls and then i could not see her anymore. as i got to the cashier to pay, i noticed that she was basically right behind me and walked passt me. when i was paying she was still eying me. as i was going to walk out, she beamed into a big smile and wished me a happy weekend. i noticed before that she didnot greet any of the customers. a clear sign of attarction to me, but i was too tired and surprised to make anything out of it.
apart from that.....
lot of internals, and less externals
- porn and masturbation vanished from my life since i started this version.
- I continue to eat super healthy.
- I am quite sure now that i walk a little different( as a result my back pain ebbed tremendously).
- One girl at work who rejected me indirectly before was super nice to me today and asked me how am i going! i cut her short, saying I am fine thank you. i was chatting her a lot before but i decided to stop that because i didn´t like how she treated me before( she felt my unwillingness to talk to her and just laughed in surprise). it was a clear slap back on her face.
- My face is getting clearer and clearer, but it might be just the Walnuts, almonds and dates that have become part of my daily diet by now( thanks to DMSI).
- I get bursts of happiness. It is like all of a sudden i remeber some scene, or some happy incident and I feel very elated and pumped up. It is really a beautiful feeling.
- less anxiety and negative selftalk
- I messaged a woman who approached me on Dmsi 1 ( she offered me sex clearly. i rejected sex with her because i was not feeling attracted to her before). dont ask me why i wrote her now? ( she responded very warmly) It is really as if Dmsi wrote that message and not me!!!!
call it placebo , music is f"""" amazing with Dmsi!
I continue to get that ecstacy from this version throughtout the day...
Nothing very special to report....
No fap no porn since i started this version. I am getting horny.
- I enjoy looking at beautiful bodies of women on the street. It is not this simple turning of the head to see a sexy body. It is a real enjoyment. There is a deep pleasure in that. it is like i love those bodies.
- i found myself thinking today a lot about the quality of women i have been with. I am not satisfied. My head is telling me, I need an upgrade. i deserve better. this has never happened to me before. My slogan before was " if I am attracted sexually, she is hot. now i guessi will get a bit choosy.
- there are stories going in the background of possible dates in the coming weeks.
- I noticed very pretty girls looking at me today. but nothing over the top!
- I will have sex at the weekend and will see what the performance module there have done!
It is true that i slept only five hours last night and it is true that i had to work long hours, but this tiredness can not be onyl due to that. I am crushed, like totally.
I am sure something in the script is trying to be engrained and i am fighting it.
seriously, i have never been this tired in my entire life.
But i am glad about it, after each tirdness in Sub use, i get some breakthrough
now i go to bed
one of the hottest girls at the place where i work, gave me some unexpected looks today. she was at the versace store in front of my office. This girl was dismissing me totally before. i noticed that girls were looking at me( only hot ones) and i see that they do not understand what to do except looking! My seductive smile and very strong eye contact are back.
I am not tired like yesterday. It seems tirdness is over for one( just had it one day). I am not anxious like usual an dpretty calm.
This might be just a random guess, but this sub has something in it like an awakener. when i sleep, it is deep sleep and i almost always wake up 5 minutes before my alarm goes off. It is very intersting because i lack lot of sleep at the moment but at the same time i wake up automatically early enough and pretty fit!
No fap, and no porn for almost two weeks now. yesterday felt a bit like losing on it but i stayed firm and today I am so solid.
I have the feeling that i am gathering power, massive power that will explode sometime. i have the feeling like i need to prepare myself for some serious women attraction sooner or later.
I notice also that my idea of a hot woman is changing. I am sort of upgrading and no longer satisfied with what i once considered hot.
I am easily chatting up pretty girl at my work and not having this urge to go for a number or make anything happens. I am just there and enjoying the convo.
getting into a lot of new and cool sneakers these days.
Healthy eating became for me almost an engrained habit. it is either healthy or i dont eat it.
few stories on whatsup and on tinder that might bear some fruition in the coming weeks and months. The girl C i dated once a week ago is getting warmer and warmer. It is going to be soon on....
One thing i am sure of Dmsi is on....
I am gathering literally the powers every loop i run in my life and i became more conscious of the cracks that resistence uses to derail me. self-learniing module? maybe?
Heck yes bro to everything!! The preparation thing. Oh fuck yes!
This probably some Information for Shannon. Since Dmsi 1.2 i sniped two girls now. And i see now a pattern: it is effortless, just don’t do anything ´just be. They feel Hit by charm when they see you and they get warm and wet and they tell you that. When you chat with them,they turn it sexual, and they turn graphic. They want to be submissive to you. Ready to do really whatever you want. They run short of breath when you tell them something Nice. They don’t shit Test you. You are beyond testing. They feel they know you for ages even if it is just few days. I have been texting with one of the two yesterday. It is too graphic to write anything here. She is booking a Hotel for us next Weekend and will drive two hours to meet James Dean:-) or i should say Dmsi Dean. I am having my day off sub today and feeling f*** awsome.