I ate at girlfriends house something just a little unhealthy, I feel bad right now and regret having eaten it. I am not having any pain or such but just the fact I ate it make feel upset. I had to eat now a whole pomegranate because it does my stomach wonders.
My food Regiment has radically changed since Dmsi.
I feel something in my chest muscle. I find myself literally caressing that area and feeling the shape of my chest has change. I haven’t lifted anything for ages. I am assuming it the walking straight and right is doing my chest as well as my back good.
I had to write this to track the changes in me
I went to a date with a new girl from tinder. Let us call her C. It was already warming up on WhatsApp. It was was easy touching her and leading her. We drank something together and was enjoying her company. I led her to change the venue after I felt we need a change. On the way, to the venue we stopped on the street and she kissed me. We made out a bit. And here comes Dmsi, I haven’t fapped since its appearance ( I have to admit I had sex a few times in between) still it is amazing how relaxed and unneedy about sex I am. I kissed her and stopped and led her to the venue.it was very smooth and I had total control over the situation. I think she was feeling my aura and was just following me in whatever I want to do. If I decide now to sleep with her, I just have to arrange to meet her at her place and there is no way anything goes wrong.
Just before the date and at work, I noticed a few iois and one woman came to talk me even if I dont know her at all. She told me,you can come to my desk at work if you are bored and want to talk!!!! I looked at her and decided it is not worth it to go there. I also was tired.
Tinder dates are pilling up. I am probably meeting two new girls this week. And will meet with A on monday. I am ignoring others when I feel they are not hot girls or they are too much work.
I am calm not anxious and the future looks good.
I am considering an upgrade of my job, and inthe woman department might be a total blast if I keep going like this a month or two. There might come a time when I have to stop dating
I continue to walk really good which translates in better poster and no back pain as usual.
There is an abundance in things I want to have or achieve. I just need to keep this little baby (Dmsi) going and everything will be really good. I feel Dmsi for me is still a toddler, I still need to give it time and it will start to walk. I have a fear it might start to run oneday(soon).
I am still immune from a lot of fear.
There are changes taking place in my face and my hair but I cant put my finger what they exactly are!
Are u used "A" or "B"? Since when have u been listening to "A"? If u r
(04-11-2018, 02:47 AM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]Are u used "A" or "B"? Since when have u been listening to "A"? If u r
I haven’t tried A yet! I am on b hybrid trickling/silent since its appearance
New wave of resistance! I went to bed at midnight and I am still in bed. It is almost 12 noon.
It very taxing, only when I get out of bed, it gets little better. Now I can’t function properly.
I don’t know what it is! But, it is what it is.
The girl I dated two days ago ist turning sexual. She told her friend that I am very hot!!! I didn’t feel that on the date. I guess she perceives me in such a way, that even myself can’t perceive myself in that way consciously!
A female friend of mine, is insisting in a weird way to meet me today. We total friends but it is a bit strange how keen she is to meet!! I will go and meet her and see what is it all about ?
Yes there's something about 3.2 that I can't put my finger on, maybe it's just that it's only been about 2 weeks for me. But I don't feel hugely different myself, and in fact I haven't had much urge to 'reach out' to girls but there's a subtle way they must be perceiving me that's different with the smiles i'm getting from girls who serve me that have a different quality than before.
On 3.1 the attractive girl I dated, some of the time I felt like I was being boring and too 'normal' but she just wanted to be around me and have sex. Must have been what I was projecting from it.
(04-12-2018, 01:59 AM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Yes there's something about 3.2 that I can't put my finger on, maybe it's just that it's only been about 2 weeks for me. But I don't feel hugely different myself, and in fact I haven't had much urge to 'reach out' to girls but there's a subtle way they must be perceiving me that's different with the smiles i'm getting from girls who serve me that have a different quality than before.
On 3.1 the attractive girl I dated, some of the time I felt like I was being boring and too 'normal' but she just wanted to be around me and have sex. Must have been what I was projecting from it.
I can’t agree more Ben. Just read your post and I identify with the fact that going out with Dmsi is difficult. I know if I walk now to a Café nearby I will see lot of girls... but I don’t give a f***
On a positive note, Tinder is working for me and that is the only way I am meeting women these days ( although we know how retarded online dating is)
I still feel i am growing and some results I cant deny. Dmsi is about sex and since the last Dmsi I hooked up with three or four women and I have new dates almost every week.so, I have to keep at. There are also a list of other benefits but that is something i usually mention in this journal.
A major shift happened to me the last two days: I have abondaned chasing any woman I talk to or I am trying to attract. If they want me, they need to do something about it . This is a big one for me because although I have had some success with women, I was stil the one taking the chase.
Now the girls are reaching out to me. To be honest I didn’t think it wil come this quick. I thought having this frame will take months if not years!
I am still resisting some parts of the program but it is radically changing me from the inside. If it is the Intim engine of B, then it must be turning the shit I have inside upside down!
A lot of changes and lot of growth, some of it, I can’t even admit here.
The main traits of this change is „being unfazed“ by whatever, abundance and freedom...
I am staying on this ride despite feeling anxious or sad at times.
Practically, good habits continue ( no fap or porn since Dmsi B, eating healthy and keeping a lean body, getting to know new girls on a weekly basis).
On a vacation for a week in italy. Took girlfriend with me. I noticed that the cleaner girl was feeling very submissive and was hit by me while she was showing us the flat we are staying in. She was pretty cute, if my girlfriend was not there, I am sure it would have escalated to sex. It is warm here and she was wearing a very light shirt showing most of her boo... I was feeling very sexual and a real predator
On the street a lot of looks from girls even if I am with girlfriend. Feeling horney and enjoy looking at the swarms of girls every where. I caught myself thinking holy shit how many girls are their in the world in all shapes and sizes. It is pretty stupid to regret the „loss „ of any one of them. I am stating just the obvious but it is a realisation for me, there are damn so many girls in the world.
Girlfriend stated that I walk slower ( one my beta traits is that I am quick with everything) , which very new to me, although I have stated before that I feel I am walling differently.
I might not update again until I come back again to my country. I have no intention to talk to any girl here. I am here just to relax and have a good time
I was on holidays until yesterday. I didnt run DMSi for a few days. I have nothing new to report.
I guess I am having some detox early morning to the extent that I thought I might have some allergy. I have almost all signs of detoxing. This detox is physical and non-physical( I have a bunch of bad situations from the past coming up, fits of anger about things in the past, and a sense of guilt that I am dating few women while having girlfriends).
I deleted 4 or 5 women from tinder who were not investing enough or very slow in replying. But I am gaining few new ones. Two to three girls i got from tinder to WhatsApp are reaching out to me after the holidays.
I stopped writing to one girl I dated onetime before because she is really not attractive. At the beginning I thought she was attractive!!.
Day 62 of no porn no fap. I don’t count just an app let me know!
Idont give a f*** is at all times high.
Because I am investing way less, I am having more noticeable attraction from women I interact with.
Iois are normal by now. I have that everyday almost!
I am finding my rhythm again after a wave of resistance. Anxiety is gone for now. I am confident and my voice got stronger. Girlfriend asked me yesterday if I was sick because my voice was different to her.
tinder is getting again very interesting. I am getting steady matches and will have a time problem to fit all the girls in my schedule. I had motivation to approach inthe street yesterday but I didn’t do it. I have changed in my mindset about women. I deleted a few girls from tinder because of different reasons.
The main reason I write today is that iois seems to be now in the air. It is like everywhere’. Even girls initiating the talk to me. The weird thing about it, I don’t feel at all that it is a big deal. As if it was always the case!
Giving the dates i am having, it is only a matter of time until I am with two or three new women together, I can feel it coming
I have an urge to look at some sex today but I didn’t do it because I know it is a way of derailing me from the goals of the sub that I am slowly but surely achieving.
It is still amazing that I literally for the first time in my life that I haven’t looked at porn or sex or fapped for over 2 months. This alone is a fantastic achievement in its own.
Tinder is literally exploding now ( mind you, I don’t approach,i rely entirely on tinder). Every new day, I have a few women more and old and new chats gets almost mixed up. I had a date with A again and it went very well. We might fly together to an island in September. I am pretty attracted to A.
Tomorrow I have another date with another girl from tinder and I am pretty sure the weekend I might have two more at least. I deleted again a few girls because I either have no time or it is too much investment from my side to date them.
There are some manifestations coming my way. They might be two girls. Sexy and much younger than me. I am paving the way to get there:they moved from tinder to WhatsApp first. I sense already their submissiveness and the weird way of how easy they come to you. I know this because I have had manifestations before on Dmsi and the patterns are clear to me.
I had an urge to switch to A version but I think it is just my subconscious trying to escape the brutal B.
I can read through what is going on in my head right now. I am feeling good and have urges to achieve things beyond just women.
One of the problems I have now is to find time and agree on dates with women. I can’t fit them all. It is a harem. I am still not ban...g most of them but I am getting there. And the list is growing by the day...
There is a major shift in my life now
Dmsi right now is not adding any sexual edge to my dates. I have to plow everything and try to turn them sexual. Three dates in the last couple of days and they went no where!
Today though, I was at work when a cute girl came to me to ask me about the nearest drugstore here because she wanted to buy some sleeping pills for her dad. At my place you can only go in and out through security which takes ages!! I offered to fetch her the medicaments because I have a special card and can avoid security check.
The first surprising thing she gave me her credit card and her code to pay with it because she didn’t have enough cash. When i came back after ten minutes, she kept thanking me for over 10 minutes as if I did some heroic act!!! She kept talking to me like not wanting to let go. I said it is really okay several times but she kept standing near me until it got awkward! Then she left. After 10 minutes she came back to me and asked me if I can hug her ??? i hugged her and let her go....