Subliminal Talk

I got dates with different women 3 days in a row starting from last Thursday.

First girl on Thursday was for a possible FWB setup. If everything was good, we would have hooked up together Saturday evening. During the date, she said that she hasn't felt chemistry between us. Actually, she didn't say it explicitly, she did just talked about chemistry in general... She just stopped pursuing me. She was focusing on things that weren't good enough instead of focusing on what was good like: She said something like she prefer taller guys. I didn't take it personal. I know that I have MSI. She is the problem.

Bottom line, my interpretation is she has the will to fully embrace the life of a modern single woman but she isn't able to let go from her previous LTR that lasted over 15 years since she became single 1 year ago. She did even admitted that she has met a lot guys for drink and they always had something that she didn't like and things never went further than the first meeting. So IOW, I fell into her pattern and I did get the same result than all the others who have tried before me...

Friday, at lunch time, I had a sushi picnic date in a park with another girl. This one too is taller than me. I'm 5'7 and she is about 5'10 AND she was wearing high heels. So, that was kinda funny because my eyes were straight at the same height than her breasts. I had a very nice view on her boobs... She didn't care at all that I was shorter than her... And the date ended up with some light making out and kisses.

Saterday around the end of the afternoon at 4PM, I did receive an invitation to go to a chick place. When I did arrive, she invited me in the living room, she has offered me a drink. We did some small talk and within 10 minutes we are kissing each other on the couch. Few minutes later, she did ask me if I wanted to visit her bedroom.

Then something horrible did happen. I could not get it up. I was hard while I was talking to her over the phone from my place before meeting her. I was hard when I came back home. but I could not get it up while I was naked in bed with her.

IOW, something in my head was stopping me from having an erection. Ok, I kinda lost the habit of having new partners. The last new partner I had was last summer. With partners that I have for a long time, I can have sex for a very long time. I could last an hour if I wanted but 20 mins/30 mins seems about right but I could continue if I wanted (I did just that last week)...

After fooling around naked with the new girl, I have finally achieve to get an erection, and right after I initiated penetration, I have been blowing my load after less than 4 strokes. Possibly my worst sexual performance that I ever had.

If I was to guess what did happen, I would say that I did suffer from performance anxiety. If I know that I have more experience than my partner (usually true with younger women), than all is good. If I perceive that my new partner is more experienced or have performance expections, that type of shit can happen. I didn't felt pressure but that must be what did hit me.

The girl was very kind and comprehensive by saying shit, it is the first time we get intimate, next time it is going to be better. But there is what you say to others to be kind and there is what you are thinking. We were meeting to initiate a FWB relation. I have failed to make a good first impression. Despite being clear in my mind that I am able to deliver much better than that, I'm pretty sure that she isn't wondering about the second round and being aroused about it. We will see if she calls back for more, but my expectations about that happening are low... I'm more seeing that as a learning experience, as I am looking forward giving good sex to next new prospects...

This leave me one question. I have been listening DMSI for about a year. So, isn't it suppose to contain a Best possible sexual performance module in it? Why did it not kick in for me when it would have been useful to have it?

Beside the last hickup which I know is only temporary, I have made the following observation on my behavior:

I am now getting very good at knowing what/how/when to press women mental buttons that will make their mind go dirty. They will be very comfortable to show me how sexual they are.

Most women are incredibly sexual and a man having the skill to make them open up this facet of their being, is extremely attractive to them.

If you are able to make them think about their deepest fantasies and make them wet their panties, they will associate how they feel with you and will want you.

It has now become usual that when I start talking with women, within minutes the conversation gets sexual and I have women tell me how bad they want it.

The other observation that I have, my bucket isn't that deep, but I already have the feeling that there is too much women pursuing me... and this impact how I behave with them... and creates some sort of self fullfilling prophecy as I'm behaving as a in-demand man.... Hence they start chasing me harder...

Today is my day off. Tomorrow, I'll flip back to DMSI 3.2A...

Pretty much an eventless DMSI A pass. Sure, I still get plenty of IOIs but they have become the norm so I have stopped noticing them...

but something amazing did happen last night.

I got an erotic dream. Possibly the first that I have in a year. Possibly my subconscious communicating something...

I was in an office working with a computer. A cute female secretary in the next cubicle, just said that she wanted some and the pants went down and we started having sex.

Actually, the only thing that wasn't fun was that at first we were 2 guys on the girl and the other guy had this monster cock. It was big like a normal person arm. Totally disproportionate. I didn't like sharing the girl with this guy (He just started doing her before me) but as it got to be my turn, the other guy just disappeared from my dream and the rest was only fun adult action...

I will be moving to AM6... My understanding is that it is a 6 months commitment...

https://subliminal-talk.com/Thread-Men-s...#pid199386

I was thinking doing DMSI3.2 B during July then start AM6...

I might stop right at the end of June instead... Maybe it is me resisting DMSI but I'm feeling having less energy than I should have... Plus I have been on DMSI for exactly 1 year (July 1st would be 1st anniversary)... I am not seeing how suddenly I would start getting totally different and better results...

I started to think that the faster that I am trying something new... the better it will be...

Officially off DMSI since end of June. I am preparing to go through AM6 starting in August.

So basically, I am now 2 weeks off from DMSI and as I wrote elsewhere, some of the program effects start to wear off. This is not a bad thing as it allows me to rediscover the positive effect of DMSI that was now taken for granted.

Nothing major but I did notice a small drop in self-confidence.

Also, I did onboard the DMSI wagon exactly 1 year ago and immediately after the start of the program, I did experience very quickly a major success. In less than a week of listening, I have meet a woman that I have totally swept away and would become a passionate sex partner for few months.

On few occassions, when I was reporting that I was not getting much results from the program, Shannon did suspect and mention to me that he thought that maybe some fears were blocking me from executing...

As I was thinking back of this first success on its 1 year anniversary, I did recall one detail that possibly scare the shit out of me of executing...

All I wanted was a casual sex partner... She ended up deeply in love and was even secretly fantasizing about getting pregnant from me... (She was 35-36. So at that age, her biological clock is screaming very loudly...)

And this unexpected outcome... did scare me....

Not only that but 3-4 weeks after our final encounter, she told me to get tested for STD because a week before our last meeting, she did sleep with some other dude that got diagnosed with a gonorea...

All my tests have been negative but that too did make me freak out a little bit...

Yes that too, scares me. It's so easy to get a girl preggo if you think about it.

Last night I made a lot of vivid dreams. This is something unusual for me. The dream content is now very fuzzy but I remember that it has to do with relationship with women...

I am about to start AM6. I just bought it yesterday and I will start using it on August 1st. That means that I haven't used DMSI since last month. I guess that I'll leave this journal on hold and create a new one for AM6 journaling.

Here is one last anecdote. Last week, I did a crazy work-out.

run 3 miles
Row 6 miles

I did this freaking distance in about 50 minutes. That sounds good but I was the last of the group still rowing at the end. To my defense, I am 43 and the most of the other athletes are in their 20s. I guess that it makes a huge difference in the possible performance.

Anyway, because I was the last (and I like to think that it is because everyone likes me at the gym), a small gathering of 2 hot girls around me got created to encourage me. 2 very young, very hot girls. 1 caucasian and the other one was a brazilian girl if I was to guess.

The weird thing is that it started to smell a strong pussy odor. Of course they have been sweating a lot, they did the same distance than me. My nose was at the right height. I was rowing and they were standing beside me.

I must be a pervert but I did really like experiencing this small anecdote....

Maybe letting me sniffing them was a IOI...

I am back writing into my DMSI journal after a 6 months break. I am done with AM6 on February 9th. I'm plan to follow Shannon recommendation to take a week off (Is AM6 Stage 7 a break??) Then start DMSI 3.3.1D becaause I want to discover what FRM will do to me...

So even if I didn't started yet to reuse DMSI (it is downloaded and ready to use), I have something curious to report...

I got 2 good sex sessions recently. One on friday evening and this morning... This is above my regular frequency...

and the cute mother of my daugther's friend has been naughty with me by throwing few sexual innuendos at me when I did saw her yesterday...

Is it TID in action??

Returning to DMSI is still a week away and I'm already starting to feel its influence...

I got a jealousy/insecurity scene from my main girl last night... She starts feeling that she is not enough for me and she thinks that I am always banging other girls... The thing is I am not doing anything that could lead her that I am doing this...

In my AM6 journal, I just said that I am being very busy with my business. Pretty much everything else stopped existing except the work in the last month, including sleep sometime...

The only explanation of that is that she is starting to feel the DMSI effect and conclude that if she feels that way for me, then other women must feel it too. Hence, she feels threatened.

For the record, I am in an open relation with a low libido woman. We have an agreement that I can sleep with other women on the side... but honestly, I am not actively seeking multiple partners... It is just that if adventure opportunities occur, I can take them without any remorse...

That being said... There is some sort of manipulation game going on... I'm not clearly able to explain it... but it slightly anger me when she is imagining me banging a bunch of women and accuse me of doing that when it is possibly the very last thing that I had in my mind... The only mistress that I had in the last few weeks is my job...

OTOH, she sometimes encourage me and even kick me out of the house so that I go meet women...

What I have found out is that the rules are kinda fuzzy. I'll need to address that at some point... I can sleep with other women but preferably only in a ONS context (which isn't much my thing)... If I get along too well with another woman (ie. getting booty calls in late evening), she won't like that and feel threatened...

Actually, I know exactly why she is imagining me banging a bunch of other women... It is my new AM6 attitude...

She did try to manipulate me with sex. We were about to have sex and she had a very very bad attitude... The type of attitude that only a beta would accept in exchange for having sex...

To me, it felt that it has always been like that but maybe it is even more pronounced with AM6... I don't tolerate any BS... If the mood isn't right... I'll flat out refuse to have sex because I respect myself too much... and I did walk away calmly with zero frustration... The type of attitude that a man with several options would have...

This is probably what did trigger her...

idk if it is possible that TID starts giving me FRM related nightmares ahead of actually start listening to the program but I had a very weird dream...

I was with a friend and then some kind of woman came out of nowhere... You know the type of women that hates and disrespect men to the point of even being violent of them without any fear of consequences because men never raise a hand over a woman...

So that girl come over and start to be rude with my friend... She even did punch him in the face... 1,2 and even 3 times... So I decide to interfere and say: Hey, you stop that right away or else you'll need to deal with me...

In response, she defiantly reply: Oh yeah, you want to play to this with me... and she grab my hand...

Then the most stunning thing did happen.... She did morph from a regular size girl to an ugly old and huge army sergeant woman... She was about, idk, 300 pounds... and had some nightmarish ugly makeup... She was really scary... This transformation did make me doubt about my decision to interfere. I'm not scared of women physically but I became concerned that if this turn into a fight... Her weight might be a problem...

Then I woke up...

Incidentally, I just remember that on my way out of the restaurant that I was at yesterday for dinner, I saw a female boxing match at the restaurant's bar for few seconds... There might be a connection between that and my weird dream...

Another TID occurrence (or I am not sure if TID is the same as reality bending or 2 different features...) but I went to my mailbox and I have been greeted by a hot neighbor that did happen to go at the mailbox exactly at the same time than me...

In fact, it has been so long that I didn't see her that I even did not recognized her at first... It is even harder to recognize people with their full snow clothes...

This is an extraordinaire coincidence as I did not see her for maybe at least 3-4 years....