Dreams, dreams, dreams. I am able to recall more every night. But I want total recall
(07-27-2017, 12:24 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]Dreams, dreams, dreams. I am able to recall more every night. But I want total recall
Apply MLS to learning lucid dreaming....Ah, man, I'm almost talked into it!
(07-27-2017, 11:04 AM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ] (07-27-2017, 12:24 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]Dreams, dreams, dreams. I am able to recall more every night. But I want total recall
Apply MLS to learning lucid dreaming....Ah, man, I'm almost talked into it!
It is on my mental list ... and has been for a long time. I hope that all the memory/recall will not only shine in waking life but in dreamland as well. Which would be the first and major step
I am in a state of perpetual change. I cannot adequately put it into words but every day is different, every day I am different. And thus I welcome every new day because anything might happen.
I am beginning to see some bars of my very own golden cage that have been invisible to me before. I have been asking myself what the heck it is that is holding me back to advance beyond the point I am at right now. I am beginning to see (and thus to dismantle, I hope).
My 'social class' heritage is holding me back big time. "Money and success are not for me, I don't want to be one of them upper class assholes. I am working class and as long as I make ends meet I am on the right way." I never realized how poisonous this burned-in thinking really is until now.
MLS is enabling me to touch stuff I have never been able to reach before.
Onward!
(07-29-2017, 12:55 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]My 'social class' heritage is holding me back big time. "Money and success are not for me, I don't want to be one of them upper class assholes. I am working class and as long as I make ends meet I am on the right way." I never realized how poisonous this burned-in thinking really is until now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdY90Kx5ZI
If you have time read the book
Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires
(07-29-2017, 02:31 AM)4Kingdoms Wrote: [ -> ] (07-29-2017, 12:55 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]My 'social class' heritage is holding me back big time. "Money and success are not for me, I don't want to be one of them upper class assholes. I am working class and as long as I make ends meet I am on the right way." I never realized how poisonous this burned-in thinking really is until now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xdY90Kx5ZI
If you have time read the book Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires
Thank you, 4K. Very good stuff to change my own mindset into.
I have the book sitting on my harddrive, never really got far into it though. I'll take it up again.
Last night I changed listening devices to take advantage of listening to the .flac versions on a regular basis. Finally.
Came home from work around midnight, dangled around for a bit, not ready to fall asleep (massive change compared to MHS or DMSI, on which I would crash immediately). Started the loops and was instantly wide awake for the first two loops, then drifting in and out of sleep during the final two loops. Four more hours of sleep and I woke up naturally. That is my sleep pattern since I started MLS.
I feel noticeably more rested and efficient than on MHS/DMSI though, where I'd fall asleep without delay while playing the subs and sleep around 8 to 10 (occasionally 14) hours per night.
I am not really tracking anymore in grand detail what the sub does. I use it and go about my stuff.
Random people seem to perceive me as very approachable and talk to me a lot. Well, I smile a lot and am invested in any kind of conversation these days, meaning I AM open and approachable, so that is that.
I am more curious about and interested in many topics again. These topics would look rather random to outsiders, but I see a very tight connection (and use) for every last one of them. It is the continuation of a strangely focused and directed self-development that has started a long time ago. I don't know where it will lead me, but I have learned to recognize pieces of that puzzle when I encounter them.
The duration of concentration periods has not yet increased by a lot. There is some progress, but I am still a long way from where I have been before. I shall, however, get there again and beyond, it's simply a matter of time.
Another thing that's becoming obvious is how short my fuse is at the moment. It doesn't take much to get me going. On the other hand, I am usually holding myself back and swallow what angers me, which is not exactly healthy either.
And last but not least, I still suck at visualizing
As written before, listening to MLS during the night wrecks my sleep. If I listen to it so that the loops are finished directly before I hit the bunk I have a sweet relaxing night full of deep and invigorating sleep.
Eating a lot, on the other hand, is still present, including going on a food hunt in the middle of the night in the nearest supermarket. Gotta get that somewhat under control.
I am becoming something like a social rockstar.
When I open my mouth these days I seem to transform the perception of the people around me. This is also working on a non-verbal level, through warmly smiling A LOT. I smile because I genuinely enjoy myself and everything around me.
I think that I am too afraid to visualize and thus I don't allow myself to do it. Sounds strange? It totally is.
I am entertaining the idea that I have consciously developed the ability to block myself from visualization at least partly in response to horror movies. You know the drill, in a scene you expect something gruesome to suddenly appear, you know it will, the soundscape is overripe with tension. You imagine all kinds of stuff that might happen. And then something pops up. You are scared. Thus you power down your natural ability to visualize (or that's what I did) because you connected it to scary shit over and over again and (as another important step) deem yourself unable to steer your visualizing thoughts at times. Which results in sometimes scary visual imagination that you feel overcome by because you think you don't have control over your thoughts/imagination.
That is my working hypothesis at the moment for parts of why I have a hard time to visualize. Gotta probe a bit deeper to see if it holds water.
(08-06-2017, 02:30 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]I think that I am too afraid to visualize and thus I don't allow myself to do it. Sounds strange? It totally is.
I am entertaining the idea that I have consciously developed the ability to block myself from visualization at least partly in response to horror movies. You know the drill, in a scene you expect something gruesome to suddenly appear, you know it will, the soundscape is overripe with tension. You imagine all kinds of stuff that might happen. And then something pops up. You are scared. Thus you power down your natural ability to visualize (or that's what I did) because you connected it to scary shit over and over again and (as another important step) deem yourself unable to steer your visualizing thoughts at times. Which results in sometimes scary visual imagination that you feel overcome by because you think you don't have control over your thoughts/imagination.
That is my working hypothesis at the moment for parts of why I have a hard time to visualize. Gotta probe a bit deeper to see if it holds water.
This world fucked everyone of us real nice
(08-06-2017, 03:46 AM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ] (08-06-2017, 02:30 AM)Raz Wrote: [ -> ]I think that I am too afraid to visualize and thus I don't allow myself to do it. Sounds strange? It totally is.
I am entertaining the idea that I have consciously developed the ability to block myself from visualization at least partly in response to horror movies. You know the drill, in a scene you expect something gruesome to suddenly appear, you know it will, the soundscape is overripe with tension. You imagine all kinds of stuff that might happen. And then something pops up. You are scared. Thus you power down your natural ability to visualize (or that's what I did) because you connected it to scary shit over and over again and (as another important step) deem yourself unable to steer your visualizing thoughts at times. Which results in sometimes scary visual imagination that you feel overcome by because you think you don't have control over your thoughts/imagination.
That is my working hypothesis at the moment for parts of why I have a hard time to visualize. Gotta probe a bit deeper to see if it holds water.
This world ***** everyone of us real nice
No. It is all part of making experiences, really of experiencing. You cannot experience anything without being influenced. It is reflection that is lacking. Reflection on how things influence you and what you do with that knowledge.