Subliminal Talk

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Woke up and had my first dream in weeks although I don’t remember it. Did about 5 hours overnight and no more seeing as I was feeling so demotivated that I actually skipped school this morning. Can’t say I regret that choice though because I feel supremely well rested. I have Thursday off so after going to class and then running an errand I’m clear to listen all I need to on Thursday. Everything that I’ve mentioned improving has continued to do so except for the fact that people think there’s something wrong with me, even though I feel just fine...weird. Other than that I continue to run into some great people and find socializing almost a breeze now although my hermit-like ways are still persistent. Women also seem slightly less drawn to me which is fine for the moment anyway since I’ve lost almost all interest in even sex.
Quote:Hmmm ok so let me ask this, for all subliminals, is it better to stick with a set amount of hours or loops per day and stick with that number, or just do as many loops/hours as possible per day? And as for E2 yeah I’ll up it slowly, but seriously since that day I haven’t felt any anxiety at all.

For 6 stage programs it's best to be able to stick to a consistent amount of time a day as you want to have the same amount of hours per stage.

Single stage programs such as E2 you can vary it up and down, sometimes if it was intense i'd lessen it a bit and i'd experiment with doing more.

More isn't always better, sometimes it can be too much which is why i'm saying to do it a bit at a time.
(10-02-2017, 03:32 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]
Quote:Hmmm ok so let me ask this, for all subliminals, is it better to stick with a set amount of hours or loops per day and stick with that number, or just do as many loops/hours as possible per day? And as for E2 yeah I’ll up it slowly, but seriously since that day I haven’t felt any anxiety at all.

For 6 stage programs it's best to be able to stick to a consistent amount of time a day as you want to have the same amount of hours per stage.

Single stage programs such as E2 you can vary it up and down, sometimes if it was intense i'd lessen it a bit and i'd experiment with doing more.

More isn't always better, sometimes it can be too much which is why i'm saying to do it a bit at a time.

Makes sense
Yesterday at work I got a random burst of energy and was dedicated and focused on my work while listening to the ultrasonic track. This boost lasted for hours even after I stopped listening to the sub. I listened for 6 hours overnight and I still feel amazing. Women are also responding to me better again as well.
Today I’ve noticed another jump in confidence, my body language is relaxed and open more often. My voice also sound smoother with a deeper tone and I walk with a smoother and more confident stride.
Went to donate some blood plasma today. There was this beautiful girl sitting next to me that kept staring multiple times. While she did a couple things went through my mind. For one, I’m more comfortable with getting stares or looks in general from people than I have been in the past. Two, although I wanted to start a conversation with her I started to notice that long-term thinking kicked into play. Let me explain, on one hand Inlove women and the energy they can bring. I’m truly at my best on all levels when I’m connecting with women. On the other hand I’m beginning to notice an underlying irritation with some of their ways also which act as an almost instant turn-off which keeps me from talking to anyone New and wanting to put up with any woman’s flaws long term. I think at this point I’m gonna need emotional healing concerning women directly, which I read is included in AM6. Guess we’ll also see if E2 effects that before then as well
Overall a good sense of well being today. My resilience is also getting stronger and so is my ability to focus. Those aren’t the only things increasing though. My disdain for any display of emotional weakness seems to be increasing daily. I can’t bear to hear anyone speak in a defeatist sort of way. I myself have had no real negative self-talk the past week come to think of it. I’m starting to think that if I have effects this great now, then what will my 2 month blooming period be like? I also spoke to my best friend and my wife over the phone today, both coincidentally sounded happier than they have in the past 2 months. Filled me with joy to hear them both sound like their normal selves again.
So my earlier theory was correct, I have developed some kind of inner resistance towards women. How do I know? When I went to visit my mother at her condo yesterday I saw a beautiful woman who actually was staring at me. As soon I began to want to say something just to initiate conversation my heart raced and I could feel my throat clam up. Damn, I can’t even figure out how this happened. I wonder if the relationships I’ve had with women the past 8 years actually damaged me in this department somehow. I can barely approach my soon to be ex wife for a casual conversation without feeling awkward. Even as a teenager I never had approach anxiety before.

Funny thing is that I can still be social with women and casually joke around but anything beyond that and it’s like this “script” starts playing that’s made me hesitant to take things to the next level. Only one thing to do, socialize more with women until I can find a way to ease or eliminate this approach anxiety. Even though anything concerning women isn’t a priority for me right now, I still don’t want this to become a prolonged issue.
Now taking things up to 7 loops. Haven’t got an actual chance to approach a woman yet but I’m not too worried about it, I’m sure it’ll happen without me looking for it. I notice a motivation building up to be more proactive as well. Last night my daughter was picked up by my wife, I won’t go deep into details since this is more of a conversation to be had with her but she seems to call herself “catching me slipping” in regards to care for our daughter for yesterday and trying to call me out on it in which I gave a solid reply to let her know she was mistaken. I’m not even going to harp on her lack of mothering skills. She’s not the worst mom but she definitely doesn’t give 100%.

I was tempted to call her and start an argument, especially since she didn’t say anything to my face which was very odd. Makes me think that someone else pointed it out and thought she should “speak up”. Rather than wasting my time mentioning how basically nothing was done for my child on Saturday when I picked up, I just decided to do it all myself since talking doesn’t change anything. For some reason I also decided that I’d start taking detailed notice of certain things she does instead of arguing about every little thing. Mind you I’m not doing this just so I have some type of Ammo for our next argument which I’m sure will be had before the end of this year, but also really starting to take notice and pay more attention to why I don’t want to be with her anymore.

This choice is to remind myself that despite our history she has a lot more work to do at this point than I do. In fact, I’m even more hesitant because I’m almost certain that by this time next year we’ll be completely incompatible because there may be nothing about her I find redeeming anymore, especially after I’m done with AM6. Sometimes for only a few seconds I entertain the thought of saving my marriage, but every time I quickly shut those thoughts down. At times I feel like I’m just being stubborn just because I don’t want to give up but if things aren’t good for the long term then screw it.
Woke up in the middle of the night to do laundry. Really between 2-6 am is my favorite time to get anything done because people don’t get in my way. At work yesterday I ended up feeling tired and thrown off. I also began to notice that I felt slightly disconnected from my own emotions and like everything around me wasn’t quite so real. Mind you I’d already finished listening to E2 for the day so maybe this happened while my subconscious processes the info.
Woke up pretty tired after having the volume close to max all night on speakers. I cycled the playlist with all three tracks. In general I feel detached from negative emotions most of the time . Still have a couple triggers here and there. I must say to that even though it’s subtle, I haven’t noticed much at all PTSD related behavior or symptoms in weeks. I’m not saying I’m cured but it feels like even when I’m angry, stresssed, etc I don’t feel negative emotions as deeply anymore. My connection to my daughter continues to strengthen as well. I haven’t jumped up from out of my sleep in the middle of the night either like I was doing a couple of months prior to E2 and a couple times before that in the past. My eye contact with strangers is also longer and more solid.
Update:

Noticed a strange development just now, seems as if I’m actually craving listening to E2 more and more. I literally feel myself experiencing some strange withdrawal related stress unless I’m running the sub, especially the ultrasonic track. The only way I don’t feel this is if I’m extremely busy, in a rush, or I’ve listened for at least 9 hours in a 24 hour period. Unsure of what to think of this but it started happening 3 days ago now that I think about it. Not sure if I’m subconsciously craving something that E2 is providing at a deeper level. I know Ben told me to scale it up slowly, I just can’t explain why suddenly I have an urge to listen way more.
E2 is a sub I would not recommend to anyone anymore because of the lack of motivation on the sub and it's motivation decreasing effects. I hope UD doesn't have the same effect.
(10-11-2017, 03:09 PM)Daredevil Wrote: [ -> ]E2 is a sub I would not recommend to anyone anymore because of the lack of motivation on the sub and it's motivation decreasing effects. I hope UD doesn't have the same effect.

I get what you mean, for me both APE and E2 have had motivation decreasing effects at one point in time. I feel this may have to do more with the way my mind processes the info more than the scripting itself. Reason is, the more I listen to a sub in a given day, the more mentally drained I feel. The less I listen in a day, the more mental energy I have.

I also saw in a post where Shannon stated to a member that the reason he felt lost and demotivated in E2 is because that person was driven by societal programming and this person was being freed of his slave mentality and truly was becoming himself because of his newfound emotional freedom. It makes sense when you think about it. It can also be scary to realize that you made the choices and took the actions you did all because of some ideologies that were never yours.

I personally would recommend E2 but probably wouldn’t use it more than 6 months at a time. Within the first week I had a major breakthrough that actually brought me to tears and I know that was no coincidence. E2 might strip you of motivation but motivation isn’t everything and it certainly doesn’t get the job done on its own. In the end, if you want something you’ll go after it.
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