Had a headache today even before I did my loops. Yes, I'm doing just 2 loops. I'm still doing my meditations from TM as well. I can clearly see now that most of my life I have felt feelings of frustration or weakness in myself. And when I learned how to feel something aside from that, I was still running away from it. I felt a hell of a lot better than I do now, but it was always in my subconscious stopping me from even coming close to reaching my potential.
I do still honestly believe that DMSI has a hell of a lot further to go, but of course that's just my opinion. I still think that 2.4 may have been the best for me. If none of the future versions help, then I will definitely revisit it just to see. And I'd probably try AOSI as well since I downloaded it when it was offered. Just want to know if it would work for me. But I'm not switching to those any time soon.
In other news, I just got a Nexus 5 in awesome condition for a steal. I have to say that I'm impressed with Android. I noticed that looking at it, I preferred the old Nexus screen to my iPhone 7 screen. Come to find out, it's a full HD screen, and even slightly bigger. It runs so smooth too. I am legitimately considering getting an Android phone this year. Right now, i plan on going for the iPhone 8 and jailbreaking it. That would give me everything I want. Or if the Pixel 2 has a better design than the first Pixel and it's a good upgrade, I might for that. At this point, I think that Apple should be more open with the kinds of apps allowed in the App Store. If that doesn't change over the next couple years, I can see Android taking over.
Been having some thoughts about AM6 recently. I'd just like to use something that causes deep, permanent, identity level change.
Nothing noticeable to report. As I've gone deeper into my subconscious, I've experienced the following emotions: sense of not belonging, feelings of worthlessness, feeling like my fate won't change regardless of what I do, depression, anger, feeling like an outsider, feeling uncomfortable around people, feeling a desire for those who have wronged me to get what they deserve, feeling like I don't have the skill to succeed with girls (even though I can list reasons why they should like me), feeling unaccomplished, feeling like I'm just different (I just really don't think anyone processes life like me. I feel I have an overactive imagination that can turn anything sexual, turn anything into something scary or unpleasant, etc. I feel my imagination is a two edged sword. Definitely useful for my industry when in a good state, but very unpleasant when I'm not).
I've noticed those things over the past month as I've been doing my meditations. I sometimes really do wonder if there is an "end" as I feel like my imagination has the ability to create endlessly. Back when things felt awesome for me, I pro-actively made sure I felt like I was in a good state. I made sure of it. But it was a false form of abundance. It had pre-requisites that had to met daily/weekly and when they weren't, it faded away, but when they were, I felt fuckin awesome. When I say I'm in it for permanent change, I'm in it to achieve that state, have it be self-regenerating with no effort, and remove all barriers from holding me back. I legitimately feel that my subconscious blocks are stopping me from even coming close to reaching my potential. If I let go of those permanently, I would have a different life.
Non Related
I really wished I would've copped a pair of the Jordan 4 Kaws. Resell on them in insane and for someone in college, it'd be awesome to get that much money so easily. Unfortunately, Paypal wasn't accepted...
Also, I got a new pair of Sony Bluetooth Headphones. They have a frequency response of up to 22khz when plugged in and 20khz (maybe a bit higher) over bluetooth. Today will be my first day using them for sub listening. I can say that since switching to listening from the Nexus 5, I think the audio quality sounds a bit better over my old iPhone 5. With the headphones, it should be noticeably better.
After thoughts
I do see that Shannon said that 3.2 will be just as big of a step as 3.0 to 3.1 was. Tbh, I'm hoping it's twice the step. I just think that it still has a way to go. Maybe it'll require full 6G technology to fully work.
If it's any help for 3.2, I have some thoughts. Most are probably already being considered or addressed, but might as well post it anyway.
1. I feel like my subconscious isn't nearly as productive as my conscious mind. Plenty of the things I've done in my life have been through conscious effort and practice. I just don't think my subconscious has performed nearly as well or done as much. So something to change that would be helpful.
2. This was definitely mentioned. But something should be added so that I can consciously know how to help the program. I don't know what else to do aside from what I'm already doing. Sometimes it's difficult to think positively at all. So something that injects the user with positivity would be great as well.
3. This is a major one. Strong and blatant manifestations. And when they show up, there needs to be some kind of definite sign so the user knows it's one of their manifestations. I say this because it's easy for your mind to play games with you and think a girl is a manifestation and turns out she definitely wasn't.
I just don't know what I have to do to live the life I intend to.
I've had thoughts of just switching to AM and if that doesn't do anything just quitting subs. I struggle to see how I've permanently changed and I simply don't enjoy my existence with the limitations I face on a daily basis.
How many times have you run AM? I know how you feel. I'm not running DMSI but from what I've read with you guys it kicks up a lot of crap. I don't know what to say, but you're not alone. Half the time I'm running these subs I feel like I'm filling myself with false delusions.
Ultimately it's your choice to run AM6 vs DMSI. But from what I've seen DMSI has the potential for more growth with those who resist a lot more with subliminals. I'm not saying you won't benefit from AM6 if you run it again, but it would really suck if you did the whole six month thing and ended up in the same boat compared to running DMSI for that length of time and chipping away at whatever it is you're dealing with. Also, I think when E3 comes out it'll be a good program to run to clear out all those fears and blocks.
Keep going with DMSI man, It will force you to execute eventually granted you are strong enough to keep going. Im sure the later versions will be faster and smoother but this is it. There is no going back now, if you want to leave do it after you have achieved your goals with it. If life has thought me anything it's that you can run but you can't hide from yourself. Whatever is causing you discomfort will still be there unless you face it and overcome it.
I'd just like to know that my efforts are making a permanent difference.
I will continue with DMSI.
As for E3, that won't be released until after 6G has been fully developed. It's a long ways away. And I'd most likely only do E3 if I already had solid permanent effects from the subs I've already done.
If 3.2 has an even shorter listening time, that'd be something to definitely look forward to. But we won't know the loops or track lengths for a little while.
I think things are going well with my meditations. I might actually be heading in the right direction.
Still doing the 2 loops as usual, nothing unusual to report.
Funny enough whenever I see any mentions of the P series like P5 I keep thinking of the Persona video games lol. I do think that 3.2 needs P6 from the sounds of it. Seems like 3.2's release is at least a month and a half off or so since MLS has been the focus so far. But that's fine. Sooner would be a bit more interesting, but the longer it takes, the more time is spent discovering new ideas of getting DMSI to work. It'd be awesome if 3.2 was real leap of an upgrade.
Just came by to see what Shannon's working on. Sounds like 3.2 won't be here until the end of summer at the earliest.
Nothing to report. Been having bouts with porn every week or two. Just waiting for the next update.
Been doing 2 loops but I see that now we are invited to experiment. If I do anything besides 2, I'll do 3 and that's it.
I just hope that 3.2 will be worth the wait.
Edit: odds are, I'll run B for a couple weeks if we really are months from 3.2
Quick update. Been doing masked for the past 3 weeks. Definitely bringing up more deep stuff. It feels like it's doing more. I may be wrong though. I think I may be more of a controlling type person. I definitely want to set intentions and goals in my life and experience them come to fruition.
As a test, I may be doing more than 2 loops for masked to see what happens.
No instances of sleep paralysis or hallucinating the high pitched noise since switching to masked. That's a major difference. I do experience paranoia now though. Not constant, but frequent. I may try hybrid again but I'll have to see.
Anyway, I think it's time to do 3 loops for a while to see what happens.
Honestly, I'm thinking that maybe E2 would have worked out better. I could tell at the end of my E2 run that a change, however slight, had occurred. Knowing that DMSI was supposed to be stronger and very specifically target the area that needs emotional healing, I switched to it. It's hard to see the change. Perhaps it's possible that "power differences" between tech isn't absolute for everyone.
Or maybe I should take a break for everything to settle and then continue. I will think it over. If I decide on the break, it will be after a week of doing 3 loops daily.
Or maybe the process itself is hard to see happening when it happens below a certain speed, as your brain normalizes it faster than it happens.
Update.
I did a week of 3 loops of hybrid last week. No sleep paralysis. This is a noticeable change. Anytime I got off hybrid and returned to it or even stayed on hybrid I would have sleep paralysis and hallucinate an ear busting high pitched sound. So that being absent was substantial.
This week I'm taking it off. I'm on vacation, I may listen while I'm on it, but maybe not. At latest I'll be back to listening before the end of the month. I'm letting the dust settle in my mind from running the program for so long. This week I've been having dreams that make it clear that something is still being processed.
I specifically had a dream about a girl I know not liking me.
I had another dream that was closer to a nightmare. My life was being taken over by some guy. Everything I had was in trouble. The people I was close to may have turned on me. I don't mean like "I don't like him anymore". I mean like whoever this was I was against had the power to turn people to want to fight/kill me. And I had to fight him directly if I wanted a life worth living. This dream truly felt like the perfect mix of nightmare fantasy and reality. It felt real enough to bother me after I woke up. In the dream, I thought about death and what I would regret not doing in my life. I truly feared for my life and I've never feared a fight before. When I woke up from this dream, I really had to think for a couple seconds if any of it was real and was relieved that it wasn't.
I had one last night where I had a new dog and I was happy. But I quickly remembered my dog that passed away and I started to cry in the dream, knowing that at some point the same would happen to my new dog. I hugged him.
I've had a dream for the past three nights. I've been remembering less details from them too. What I post above is all I can recall.
Quick Summary of Progress:
I have yet to have anything happen that lets me know that DMSI works for me. Version 2.4 was the closest to me seeing anything and even that was minor. But it was enough "minor" things in such a short span of time that so far I have to say that version showed the most promise outwardly.
Since then, it's been a bunch of mental and emotional stuff, nothing outward. No manifestations. Plenty of frustration though, especially trying to realize if an attractive girl I see is a manifestation or just me projecting that with my hopes. As of right now, I really have a hard time saying that there's a point. There have been times in the past week that I felt like I'd never achieve anything with the girls I like and I'd have to somehow figure out how to live like that. I couldn't figure that part out though because I know it'd slowly gnaw away at me for the rest of my life. Having not experienced what I wanted to with girls in college, and being close to graduating, I feel like my chances are a hell of lot worse afterwards since there's no way I'll be around so many hot girls in a small area like that.
My plan going forward is to listen to version B once I resume. Depending on how that goes, I may try version 2.4 again or even the original AOSI since I never tried it.
Sure hope that 3.2 is the rocket launch in the right direction whenever it is released.
Are you still doing the Julien Transformations stuff or just DMSI?
(07-08-2017, 05:14 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Are you still doing the Julien Transformations stuff or just DMSI?
I stopped closely following it back in May. I'm going to get back to it. Some of the stuff I hear he's covering now relates to themes in my recent dreams.
(07-08-2017, 05:00 PM)maxx55 Wrote: [ -> ]I had another dream that was closer to a nightmare. My life was being taken over by some guy. Everything I had was in trouble. The people I was close to may have turned on me. I don't mean like "I don't like him anymore". I mean like whoever this was I was against had the power to turn people to want to fight/kill me. And I had to fight him directly if I wanted a life worth living. This dream truly felt like the perfect mix of nightmare fantasy and reality. It felt real enough to bother me after I woke up. In the dream, I thought about death and what I would regret not doing in my life. I truly feared for my life and I've never feared a fight before. When I woke up from this dream, I really had to think for a couple seconds if any of it was real and was relieved that it wasn't.
This dream seems to be about your subC response towards DMSI. That it feels DMSI is an "intruding force" and is taking over your life, by putting people (other parts of the subC) against that part which gave you this dream.
Keep going with A for a while.