Interesting theory Reezox, that's a positive way to look at it.
Today, I resumed my listening. My family and I went to South Carolina. It may be dumb to think it, but I was hoping that since I would be somewhere different that the girls there would appreciate me. It's something I've always thought to myself since I was in middle school. I've always dreamed of leaving and finding my place on this planet where I felt right where I belonged. A place where I could make friends, where girls liked me, etc. I've never been in the position where I could just enjoy girls. And obviously going to a different city/state didn't change anything. Due to time constraints and whatnot, it doesn't even feel like I'm on vacation. I can now say that what I really want is a vacation from my life. A vacation from my parents, my thought patterns, and from my feelings of regret and disappointment.
I resumed version A today. I had every intention of running version B, but when I went to play it, I realized I only had version A on my phone and no signal on the open road so version A, masked was my choice. I'm back to 2 loops since I'm still on "vacation" and don't want to spend more than the prescribed time listening.
In other news, I'm so glad that CatMan is seeing real life results with DMSI. Even though it may be small now, it's still rock solid progress. It gives me hope that there is actually some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. Often times, it feels like there isn't.
Since Shannon knows that he will have his "unproductive cycle" later this year, I would absolutely love it if he worked on DMSI and had 3.2 out right before that cycle of his starts. That would give plenty of time for him to give it the necessary upgrade and be working on a less challenging program during his hard months.
Been on masked for the past couple of days. Last night had the sleep paralysis again. Instead of an unbearable high pitched noise, I hallucinated closer to a mid pitch noise. Still unpleasant but I didn't feel like my eardrums were about to explode. This is the first time this has happened while on the masked version.
Also, I have been feeling better about myself. Like some self assurance. First time I've felt that while on DMSI.
I'm planning on buying some Bluetooth earphones soon. I'm looking for some that let me hear outside noise so I can wear them in public, have great battery life, and go above 20khz.
Edit: forgot to mention, I had a dream last night where I was having a really hot make out with a sexy blonde. She was very submissive. In fact, I even woke up and realized it was a wet dream.
Well I haven't really been reading the forums, except for Shannon's Journal Discussion.
I've just been feeling really angry and discontent with my life. It's not just related to girls either. I feel angry because I just don't like what's going on in my life. I have to go back to finish taking classes, get a degree, and graduate. I don't want to really leave college life at the moment, but I'll have to. I don't like living with my parents when I come back to my hometown. So I feel like I should have already gotten my own place that I own/pay rent for. And really I kind of hate that I want "more" in life and that I'm not happy with the "average". Ignorance is bliss as they say. Part of me wishes that I would have had an "average" life and been happy with it and never thought about having more. Instead, I feel that I've had a life that varied a lot at times instead of being just awesome or displeasing. But the parts of my life that have been displeasing still feel that way. Sometimes I feel like I'm chained, held back, and that it's not possible to achieve the freedom I'd love to make a permanent part of my life. Times like these, I just feel anger and I want to punch something until I can't punch anymore.
I sure hope that Shannon's next DMSI release is a quantum leap in terms of effectiveness. I hope that soon DMSI will be at a point in development where Shannon can say "If you run it for x amount of time, following the directions, and don't get the results, then you should stop." I just want to know if this program will ever work for me. So far, I can firmly say that no, it hasn't.
I just had to vent somewhere, but I meant everything I said. Time to go train.
I just so happened to think about the amount of time I've invested with subliminals thus far. I used E2 for 7 months. I've been on DMSI for almost 10 months (since october).
I honestly feel that between using what was THE healing subliminal when it was released as well as sticking with healing versions of DMSI all this time (never ran 2.5, only 2.4), that I should be completely past whatever emotional garbage I had concerning girls, relationship dynamics, etc.
The only notable occurrences during this time period were the end of my E2 run, when it seemed like girls would approach me and talk (but not hitting on me). The first month of DMSI when a random girl said hi or random girl would intentionally look at me to smile. Of course, at the time, I thought it was at least a pebble in the right direction, but it never really built into anything. Some worker at a mall ended up asking me my age, but personally I didn't think much of it. That's it. There hasn't really been anything concrete that's permanently improved. I am still hit with angry thoughts at random times about previous girls. I still feel like I am chained at times in this life simply because it seems to elude me how to do something as simple as attracting and retaining girls in my life. Sometimes it really gets to me. It irritates and frustrates me.
I'm starting to feel that it would be best if I put my focus elsewhere in order to grow. Considering that DMSI 3.2 likely won't be out until the end of the year, I plan on doing 3.1A for just one more month. 3 loops a day. And I guess I'll try version B since I never have. If that doesn't cut it, I will try whatever alternatives I feel would be better suited for me. At this point, I'll pay all the money I have if it means that I'll finally be able to achieve personal freedom and choice/abundance with girls. Depending on how things go, I may come back for 3.2, but hopefully everything will change before then.
As of today, I'm no longer running DMSI. I don't have the time or the energy to keep dealing with it while taking classes. I'm sick of feeling rage around attractive girls. I literally feel like pummeling someone. It is clear that no definite progress has been made and this frustrates me on a very deep level. Since I don't see any progress with version A, I will run version B at some point when I am able and ready. If that doesn't help, then I see no reason to run DMSI until it has been sufficiently upgraded.
Until then, I will be using alternative methods.
I just wanted to post my pre 3.2 thoughts here separate from my 3.2 journal (if I choose to make one).
As great 3.2 sounds and as hard as I know Shannon is working (which is appreciated), I'm only going to see subs or any kind of product that furthers self development as a tool. Regardless of how much reality is being bent, how much cosmic energy is being used, etc. a tool is a tool. It can be very helpful, but the person using the tool is always more important than the tool itself in my opinion. If and when a product comes out that can literally change people's lives where the uneducated homeless become the billionares on a consistent basis or something similar, that'd be great. I do wish that Shannon had the time to put everything in 3.2 that he planned to originally, but I understand that this is a business and he needs to treat it like one. I hope the TID effects can make for a super effective 3.3 considering the time between releases and the fast feedback.
Personally, I feel like things like meditation can have a lot of value despite being free. Right now, I'm not feeling hyped really for 3.2. Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to use it, but I'm not thinking "Finally! 3.2 is coming and now I'll have my sex life!" If it works as well as Shannon hopes, then that'd be awesome. I'm really curious to see what the DMSI final will do. With 3.2 however, I refuse to allow it to lower my quality of life. A lot of time with these healing and clearing subs, I become an emotional wreck and maybe one or two days a month feel alright. I'm not going to torture myself to succeed. I'm going straight to the B version for this one as I haven't used a B version of DMSI ever. If I feel any kind of depression, emotional issues, etc. for more than a few days I will quit using it. I don't need to subject myself to constant pain in order to achieve my goals and I don't believe that's healthy.
Also my 3.2 journal probably won't be as detailed as my previous ones. For time reasons and personal reasons. I'll only mention what I think is important and if Shannon or anyone else would like more details, I can provide them if it'll help.
Nice post, and I didnt consider the fallout of using track A, meaning the slow depressive or emotional wreck elements so reading this has allowed me to become wiser for when I do start 3.2 A if there is indeed a healing A track, as this will be my first DMSI and my purpose is in trying to clear and get through my stone walling. thanks bud.