Day 4
Went to my first day long shift today 6pm - 2:20am.
For the majority of my shift I did not feel "on" like I did the day prior. In fact I felt like I was facing resistance or weak. My body language was not weak, but my voice tonality was high pitched and weak.
I attribute this to messing up my TRT dose, Facing resistance from DMSI possibly (usually first few days of a sub does this to me then it goes away and I feel better then before) and also because I was starving all shift and I get very hangry, but when I'm around people I don't know or coworkers instead of angry my voice gets weak. EDIT: I also smoked allot of marijuana in the morning and that always puts me in more emotional state, I think I still had it in my system when I started my shift because I felt unusual amount of social anxiety I don't usually get. Definitely was more impacted by the fact I didn't know what I should be doing since it was my first day basically. However the day before I was fine and SOLID all day.
I don't know why but even before DMSI if i'm hungry my game/voice becomes much weaker. I still maintain strong body language but tonality wise I don't.
However I managed to mask/hide my weakness from all the women and men at work today. I even had some positive responses that I'l report in a sec here.
1) one woman there I actually finger banged and made out with her on the beach few years ago. She went to my highschool and that was the only interaction i've ever had with her prior to seeing her today.
She said to me "Hey you went to my high school right?" I'm like yeah "your Chelsea right?"
WHICH IS HILARIOUS because her name was actually Georgia. So I totally looked like an asshole because I fingered/made out with her few years ago and forgot her name LOL. Another waitress was with her and heard us say this.
however an hour later before she left I saw her and said "I don't know why I forgot your name, because I recognized you" She smiled and said it's okay!. Then before she left she said "I'll be working here tomorrow are you working" and I said "yeah" She said sweet see you tomorrow!
Basically every women that worked there I purposely didn't look at them in the eye while walking or stare at them at all unless they spoke to me first or I needed to ask them a question.
Btw i was wrong, there is not 10 hot chicks there, there is actually around 20 (they don't all work same days though). IT"S INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too many options, too many beautiful women, I have so much opportunity and abundance, once the new sniper competitiveness kicks in with the new DMSI i'm going to literally experience some SURREAL fucked up shit.
I had one of the waitresses try talking to me while I was washing dishes, she said something about I need to put water in one of these things, and she tried making a joke but I am very serious at work and also because I knew I would have come across weak with my voice because of my current mood I chose to basically ignore her and not laugh or anything at her joke and just continue working.
In my mind I was feeling weak, but in the perspective of most of the women there I came across as alpha, focused/serious about the job, and completely obvlivious and non needy towards there beauty.
Allot of the guys at my work I noticed would flirt and try starting small talk conversations with the waitresses everytime they come by.
They have no chance though, lot of chodes and beta males. Only of of them has a nice playful woman magnet kind of vibe but hes clearly friend zoned and already married so I don't have to worry about him.
I tried to not talk to the women there today as much as possible so that I can meet them for the first time when I feel better, and dmsi hits me more. I got one more shift tomorrow then i'm off for like 3-4 days so the program will hit me allot more.
Georgia is the one who I finger banged / made out years ago, i'm not attracted to her physically. She's not that hot but has a bangable body.
Chloe is someone I just who I barely talked too who is very extroverted and 10/10 blonde beautiful and nice. I barely talked to her today but it wasn't the worst possible interaction. She seems extroverted but kinda shy too. Her cheeks got red when I was talking to her (she was eating at same time though). I got her name wrong because I thought she was the blonde named "Zelda" who I met prior. (so many woman that look similar (blonde 10/10, ect)
Chloe actually told me her names not Zelda but she likes to tell the new people it is. I feel like Chloe would be sniped the hardest. She my perfect 10 and has a nice sweet personality. I also saw her with a "I Love Amsterdam" sweater with a marijuana leaf on it. So she's not super straight edge, I'm not either **
I noticed allot of the woman saying things like "sorry!!!!" when they bumped into me or did something that seemed to interfere with my work.
I had one waitress apologize because I was towards her to go place something some where and she was in my way. She shouldn't have apologize because she didn't do anything wrong. This shows me subtle indicators of interest.
Even though my voice felt weak today, body language and the way I walked was extremely alpha the entire night. I didn't look weak, but if they spoke to me my voice was higher pitched then usual, which usually happens when I feel weak/emotional.
The good news is if I eat food during work or before work and am not hungry my voice comes back to normal.
I definitely didn't blow my chances at all with any of the women. Honestly the hardest part right now is remembered all there names.
Chloe is my first pick so far, there is also a woman named Riley that I spoke to a bit.
I saw her waiting by the bathroom, I said "are you waiting for the bathroom" She said "no you can go ahead
" I said "Someones in there" So I asked her " what's your name" She said "Riley"
then we talked about how long she worked here and if she likes it. Then I went to the washroom and before I closed the door she said "good night!!!" I guess she was leaving.
This also gives me an indicator of interest because she went out of her way to say good night to me, girls don't usually go out of there way to do something unless they have interest in you.
This is also the female I saw checking me out the most. She's short and really attractive. Not as attractive as Chloe but she is definitely attractive.
I feel like this abundance of beautiful woman is going to be extremely beneficial for me. Competition wise once I have one or two of them flirting / hitting on me it's going to be a roller coaster, as woman are more attracted to men who are desired by other woman.
Cheers to a solid first day at work, tomorrow will be better because I know what i'm doing now so i'l be less stressed, also I will bring food to work this time and not be starving the entire shift.
SHANNON if you're reading this please tell me if it's a good idea to listen to DMSI during the day before my shift or just continue using it at nighttime. Today I used it 4 loops in the night time but also 1 loop during the day few hours before my shift.
Oh and what makes things more interesting is that there is only two other guys that I would consider a "threat" or a "sexual" person. But one of them is the chef and allot older probably married? And one of them is some younger guy around my age whos attractive but I heard one waitress tell him he needs to get shit together because he keeps coming to work hungover and shit. (she said it more nicely).
I have basically no competition, i'm the most physically attractive person (facial symmetry/exoticness/alpha) I've had allot of men and women in the past tell me i'm very attractive.So I'm not talking out of my ass but am tooting my own horn a bit ;P, but i'm being honest and realistic not saying this just to say it . Just want you all to know where my standing is at this new job.wise
I am not skinny however I have muscle so it makes me look a little more attractive then when I was super skinny.
EDIT: I also forgot to mention I had very deep eye contact from 10-15 feet range when my trainer said something to the bartender and I said something to her as walking by it was a joke but she just looked at me intensively and I looked at her too for like 3-6 seconds non stop holding eye contact with each other.
It was like she was trying to test my alpha ness by looking at my eyes, or look into my soul. She will be referred to as Bartender woman from now on.