(04-08-2017, 04:57 PM)Nemanja Wrote: [ -> ] (04-08-2017, 01:09 PM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ] (04-08-2017, 12:11 PM)Nemanja Wrote: [ -> ] (04-08-2017, 11:36 AM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI A Day 37
Went out last night and ran into a girl ive previously talked about in my journal(we made out before but I was never able to seal the deal) She came up and immediately hugged me when she saw me. My buddy and I sat down and talked with her and her friend for a bit. She seemed really receptive and was laughing at everything I was saying. When me and my buddy got up to leave she gave me the hug of the century(almost cracked my spine, chicks **** strong) I then got a text from her saying "I love you man." "Seriously though, youre good people. So nice to see you" with a big smiley at the end. So felt pretty solid on that front
This anxiety type stuff though is still killin me. I feel like at a point in my life about 6 years ago where I had a lot of anxiety about a certain issue for like a 8 month stretch then it kind of went away. It seems like it has come back in full force. Hoping it all gets cleared out and dealt with soon
You seem to be clearing out that anxiety filled event. To elaborate - you are reliving it again, in order to clear it. The subconscious is in all times - past, present, future - or rather, it doesn't have time. That event has happened, is happening right now, and will happen for the subconscious, and it is using this process to help you clear it out.
That is the most likely theory, since you said it feels similar. But there might be another reason - that the subconscious is anxious because it knows it will have to execute the script.
Of course, there is the possibility it's both 
leepy:
Good going with dem chicks. 
Im hoping its the program trying to clear the issue cause I would love for it to be nixed. Im just afraid its me myself bringing back the issue to try to sabotage any possible success and that im just going to continue having this issue
The issue itself may seem like a pretty dumb one to other people but it definitely has an effect on me. Basically when I learned about different things in psychology I became afraid of the power of the mind. Afraid that id use it against myself. Kinda like how people that think theyre sick when in reality theyre not but can actually start feeling sick. Id be afraid of that kind of stuff. Like afraid of focusing on negative feelings and bad thoughts and bringing that stuff into my life. So that would cause me anxiety, then id get anxiety about having the anxiety and think that axiety will further create negative things and more anxiety in my life. Throw some frustration into the mix as well. Its a very stupid yet vicious cycle lol. Im just hoping dmsi can help me get past it once and for all
And thanks man, im tryin. I feel like if I can get past a few of these mental hurdles holding me back the sky is the limit girls wise
There are no dumb issues. I have a few of my own.
What I can see from your issues, and what I can gather from my own knowledge, is this.
You can never really "bring" an issue up. It's always both you AND the subconscious. You, the conscious, are a part of the subconscious.. except you are subject to the normal, so to say.. physical.. laws of the universe. Subconscious isn't.
You are the same thing. Conscious and subconscious. Only one is subject to more laws.
About using it on yourself.. you won't. The subconscious always tries to keep you safe - it always tries to keep itself safe. This is a big part where resistance comes from.
A few anxious thoughts won't manifest something out of thin air. Sure, they will have a slight negative effect until you clear it out, but you won't suddenly get run over by a car.
By the way, why don't you try diving into these feelings? It's an exercise I've learned.. where you feel through each emotion. Just feel it. The reasoning behind this is simple - your emotions aren't some random thoughts.. they are valuable messengers. Even those nasty negative ones.
By feeling them through, you allow them to flow and transform. It's not the fastest of processes, because the event that needs to be cleared won't just clear out in a night, but it will help. It should help you chill out that flow of emotion, though the source will still need some DMSI.
I have some dumb issues too, that need clearing ASAP, so I understand how you feel. Furthermore, I've found that deep issues are seldom fixable by pure logic (God help INTPs), so gotta rely more on emotion and DMSI.
Try and experiment leepy:
Thanks for the tips my man, I really appreciate it. I will give that a try for sure
DMSI 3.1 A Day 41
Anxiousness is continuing. Its like most of the day I just get locked into a cycle of different anxious/ worrisome thoughts and feelings then other parts of the day my focus shifts elsewhere and its not as bad. Feel like im goin crazy at times
The times when im not as anxious either my focus naturally shifts to something else going on or I tell myself that everything is fine and the thoughts/feelings dont mean anything and that may make them subside for a bit. They always tend to comeback in some form though. Definitely been the roughest period of any of the DMISIs for me thus far. Hopefully thats a good thing and means a big breakthrough is on the horizon
Something else that went on today that I forgot to mention- I cant remember if this was random or I was consciously trying to snipe her(heads been all over the place lately), but I know I started thinking of/envisioning my ex. Not her naked or us having sex or anything like that, but just her herself and this sensation that she wanted me going along with it. I became aroused and thoughts like "you fuckin want me" were going through my head. I then tried to direct those thoughts/feelings her way through space.
Ive been noticing on snapchat lately she seems to be one of the first people to look at my snaps. Used to seem like she would be one of the later people or would not even look at some of them. May just be a coincidence but just something ive noticed lately
Tried to consciously bring myself into the state I mentioned earlier and I was able to do so. I just started focusing on her and then thinking that she wants me right NOW in this moment of time, and is getting aroused by the thought of me. This then arouses me which gives me more energy to use in the process. Not sure if its actually doing anything or she can feel it but its a pretty cool feeling state
DMSI 3.1 A Day 47
Aighty so got a few things to update on this badboy....
So lets start off on friday. My interactions with woman were all going pretty dang solid. I trained one of my friends who wants to get in shape for her wedding next year. Funny thing is she is actually my exs sister and there is a big dramatic story about that whole situation. Basically when I first started dating my ex her sister freaked out and said she had feelings for me and shunned us both during the entire time we dated. Since my ex and I broke up we once again became friends. She is very attractive just like my ex was. Has a few lbs to lose to be considered in shape but has a very beautiful face. I actually liked her before I started talking to her sister but she was with another guy up until just about the time her sister and I started connecting so nothing ended up happening between us.
Anyways during our training session I started getting that feeling that I was talking about in earlier posts. The feeling that she wanted me. She was cracking up a ridiculous amount during our session at the jokes I was saying and seemed extra responsive. It seemed like i was flipping back and forth from that confident "she wants me state" and my normal one. Over this past weekend I keep having these visualizations of us hooking up accompanied by that feeling of her wanting me and it making me aroused. Its weird cause generally anytime in the past when id have fantasy type visualizations like this id have the urge to masturbate but the urge was not there whatsoever despite me feeling very turned on. Its almost like in my mind it has already happened and it is inevitable that we will hook up which I dont know how I feel about exactly. On one hand I think it would be hot as fuck. Like I said i have always had a thing for her and out of the girls I personally know she would be on the top of my bang list if she was single. On the other hand I dont want to screw up her engagement. Im thinking that im not gonna be the one to make the move if anything happens, im going to put that on her.
Went out on the weekend and was experiencing other good reactions from woman as well. One of my friends gfs who I talked to for a bit seemed real responsive to me and kept standing next to me/following me aroundish during part of the night. I then ended up meeting up with the girl that iv mentioned many times previously in this journal(we made out but never have had sex). She was with some of her friends at a bar. At first she seemed EXTREMELY responsive to me. She kept staring at me and smiling/giggling and touching me ect. As the night wore on though and we all went to another bar she seemed less responsive and nothing ended up happening in the end(In due time).
All in all though both responsiveness/iois wise and my confidence talking to woman wise was over baseline during these interactions. I think we are heading in the right direction fellas
Another thing I noticed this weekend was I was getting a bunch of different stuff paid for. I will get the occasional drink bought for me but this was like 3 different things in the span of a couple hours. First one of my friends bought me a drink, then one of my buds paid for my uber ride, and then the girl I met up with bought me a pizza. Dont know if this is the celebrity effect at play or what, but fuck ill take it.
Also ive FINALLY gotten a break from the loop of anxious thought ive been stuck in. The past few days have been MUCH better in that regard
Well thats about it for now. Onward and forward
DMSI 3.1 A Day 56
So the theme of this post and a summary of my days since my last post is FRUSTRATION
FRUSTERATED that im not getting the results I want. Went out last night and just felt off/awkward. Even when just talking with my friends. No noticeable attention or attraction from woman.
FRUSTERATED that I went overboard and ended up drinking too much last night because of my feelings of insecurity after doing so well this year in regards to keeping it in control with alcohol
FRUSTERATED that I broke my 30 days no fap streak this week and just gave in and jerked it the past few days since. I started no fap over a year ago now and the longest ive ever hit was 67 days this past summer
FRUSTERATED that the anxious/obsessive thoughts are still there and just wish they would go away
So yeah...not the most uplifting of posts I know, but just how im feeling at the moment. Wondering if im ever really gonna break though and have the success I want with this program
(04-29-2017, 01:52 PM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.1 A Day 56
So the theme of this post and a summary of my days since my last post is FRUSTRATION
FRUSTERATED that im not getting the results I want. Went out last night and just felt off/awkward. Even when just talking with my friends. No noticeable attention or attraction from woman.
FRUSTERATED that I went overboard and ended up drinking too much last night because of my feelings of insecurity after doing so well this year in regards to keeping it in control with alcohol
FRUSTERATED that I broke my 30 days no fap streak this week and just gave in and jerked it the past few days since. I started no fap over a year ago now and the longest ive ever hit was 67 days this past summer
FRUSTERATED that the anxious/obsessive thoughts are still there and just wish they would go away
So yeah...not the most uplifting of posts I know, but just how im feeling at the moment. Wondering if im ever really gonna break though and have the success I want with this program
I;m really tired and drunk at the moment, but this post hit me really hard. Sometimes things seem to go the opposite direction before you can grow even stronger. Hang in there man!
Here is one tip I will give you, maybe the hardest thing you have to learn: stop expecting the things you want the most. I know I had to change the way I think to succeed. I'm having the time of my life now and non of it seems to be what I have wished for. You will break through this!
(04-29-2017, 02:17 PM)OberynMartell Wrote: [ -> ] (04-29-2017, 01:52 PM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ]DMSI 3.1 A Day 56
So the theme of this post and a summary of my days since my last post is FRUSTRATION
FRUSTERATED that im not getting the results I want. Went out last night and just felt off/awkward. Even when just talking with my friends. No noticeable attention or attraction from woman.
FRUSTERATED that I went overboard and ended up drinking too much last night because of my feelings of insecurity after doing so well this year in regards to keeping it in control with alcohol
FRUSTERATED that I broke my 30 days no fap streak this week and just gave in and jerked it the past few days since. I started no fap over a year ago now and the longest ive ever hit was 67 days this past summer
FRUSTERATED that the anxious/obsessive thoughts are still there and just wish they would go away
So yeah...not the most uplifting of posts I know, but just how im feeling at the moment. Wondering if im ever really gonna break though and have the success I want with this program
I;m really tired and drunk at the moment, but this post hit me really hard. Sometimes things seem to go the opposite direction before you can grow even stronger. Hang in there man!
Here is one tip I will give you, maybe the hardest thing you have to learn: stop expecting the things you want the most. I know I had to change the way I think to succeed. I'm having the time of my life now and non of it seems to be what I have wished for. You will break through this!
Thanks for the words of encouragement man, its just been pretty tough for me lately.
Hearing about your and other success though and how their lives are the best theyve ever been definitely gives me hope though. Just ogtta keep truckin forward
Id love to learn to just "let go" of all my wants and expectations. Sounds like itd be so freeing but in practice ive found it very hard to actually do. Do you have any more specific tips for how you were able to change your thinking in that way?
DMSI 3.1 A Day 57
Figured I would give you guys a slightly less emo post today.
So despite feeling like a piece of crap yesterday from over drinking and a less than successful night I forced myself to get out of the house and go out to one of my friends parties.
Everyone else was hitting the sauce pretty hard there but I made sure to keep my liquid diet to old fashioned high quality h2o for the evening.
So one of the girls there thats a part of the friend group started showing some major attraction for me at one point when we were talking. Giggling a ton and touching me MULTIPLE times. Even putting her hand on my chest a few times. If I got her isolated somewhere im pretty positive stuff could have went down.
She is cute but the thing is she has already hooked up with TWO of my other friends that are pretty good with woman so that kind of turned me off of her. I told her well imma get back to beer pong and I think she got a little offended lol. She didnt show much interest after that.
The weird thing is even though she was showing me this interest I still was feeling pretty insecure/socially awkward during it like the previous night. Like the internal wasnt matching up with the external
All in all definitely a better night than Friday was though
(04-29-2017, 01:52 PM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the words of encouragement man, its just been pretty tough for me lately.
Hearing about your and other success though and how their lives are the best theyve ever been definitely gives me hope though. Just ogtta keep truckin forward
Id love to learn to just "let go" of all my wants and expectations. Sounds like itd be so freeing but in practice ive found it very hard to actually do. Do you have any more specific tips for how you were able to change your thinking in that way?
Had to think about this one. How did I do it? I guess it's easier said than done, but I'm going to use my former self as an example.
You see, not even 3 years ago I went clubbing with only one thing in mind: to get laid! So I was searching and looking for the perfect girl, staring like a wild coyote at his prey. Success rate: <1%. I had a goal in mind, and everything I did was for that purpose.
Now, whenever I go out, I have only one thing on my mind: to have fun and making people around me enjoy their evening even more. No end-goal, no awkward conversations about things that you don't care about. Just have fun and smile at the world. That is how I did it, but it was not an easy road. With the subs things were getting easier though. The most important thing is to get in that mindset. I do it with stand up comedy, just putting on a good show and have a great time even before going out the door. Do things you like and people around you tend to notice that.
Now I'm going to quit writing, because I'm noticing that I'm rambling on and on!
(05-01-2017, 10:43 AM)OberynMartell Wrote: [ -> ] (04-29-2017, 01:52 PM)Broski Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the words of encouragement man, its just been pretty tough for me lately.
Hearing about your and other success though and how their lives are the best theyve ever been definitely gives me hope though. Just ogtta keep truckin forward
Id love to learn to just "let go" of all my wants and expectations. Sounds like itd be so freeing but in practice ive found it very hard to actually do. Do you have any more specific tips for how you were able to change your thinking in that way?
Had to think about this one. How did I do it? I guess it's easier said than done, but I'm going to use my former self as an example.
You see, not even 3 years ago I went clubbing with only one thing in mind: to get laid! So I was searching and looking for the perfect girl, staring like a wild coyote at his prey. Success rate: <1%. I had a goal in mind, and everything I did was for that purpose.
Now, whenever I go out, I have only one thing on my mind: to have fun and making people around me enjoy their evening even more. No end-goal, no awkward conversations about things that you don't care about. Just have fun and smile at the world. That is how I did it, but it was not an easy road. With the subs things were getting easier though. The most important thing is to get in that mindset. I do it with stand up comedy, just putting on a good show and have a great time even before going out the door. Do things you like and people around you tend to notice that.
Now I'm going to quit writing, because I'm noticing that I'm rambling on and on!
I appreciate the insight my man. Funnily enough I know a few of the nights I wasnt trying at all with girls in the past year and a half or so is the few times I have attracted the most attractive girls. Definitely easier said than done like you said but I will try to practice just having more fun with no end result in mind more often
DMSI 3.1 A Day 65
Got a lot to discuss for this entry....Had many different interactions with woman this weekend so got a lot of dmsi testing in.
So lets start off by talking about my friend who Im currently training to get in peak shape for her wedding. So we have gone on walks in the past together as I live in a neighborhood with a nice trail that winds through it. We havent gone on any since last year though. She texted me asking if we could go on one after her session which I was kind of surprised she would want to do as she goes through a pretty strenuous full body workout and our walks are typically two hours long or so. That would be the last thing I would want to do after one of my own full body training sessions anyways. I said sure and she replied back with a "perfect, cant wait!(big smiley)"
So during our time together it was as it usually is but perhaps even more iois than normal. She giggles a ton at the things I said per usual, but she seemed to hold eye contact longer with me than normal. Also at one point I was adjusting a weight while telling her a story(The weights area is behind my couch) and she was on my couch with her body pressed up against the top end and head looking over intently at me.
So onto our walk after her session. What ive noticed is she tends to refer to and treat her fiance like a major beta. She was talking about how people asked her why shes doesnt live with him and she simply said "Cause I dont want to." "I feel like it would be annoying right now." Not exactly something you would think someone would say about their fiance lol. Or at times he will call when we are hanging out and she wont answer it and will just ignore his call. Im like "Thats not very nice." And she just laughed and said "Im busy right now". Theres been a lot of different instances of her doing this type of stuff and referring to him in a needy/beta type of light. I think hes a good dude but shes def the one in control of the relationship from what I can tell.
So when we hugged goodbye I had my shirt off(had to catch them rays and try to unghostify my pale cracka ass self) and she rubbed my back in what I can only describe as a more sexual type of way than normal. Typically when we hug goodbye its the normal kind of just hand on the back for a moment or pat on the back type of thing, but this time she slowly moved her hand across my back like she was enjoying feeling it.So that was kind of new
Onto that night. Went out with some friends and hit up some bars.To start off right away when I was in line to get a drink some random girl unnecessarily grabbed my side and held onto it as she was moving through the crowd.
We ended up talking with some girls that one of them knew. They were averagish looking, nothing special. At one point though one of them straight up asked me "can I feel your arms?" Im like "Lol I supposes..." then she goes and squeezes my bicep. I then go "That will be 5 bucks". To which she says "I think I have a dollar" and starts legit digging through her purse hahaha. Im like "Im joking lol." Her friend then goes"You have a lot of veins and started touching my forearms. I felt like a total piece of meat, and was completely cool with that. Thats all the juicy stuff for that night
The following night I went out to one of my friends small little group parties. At one point two of the girls in the friend group were talking to me and I went into this very chill state of mind where I felt very relaxed and witty. It was a lot like how I used to feel when I was in my prime confidence wise with woman. They both reacted and were giggling and touching me after I would say things. One of them also grabbed my ass I think on two different occasions during the night.
Yesterday one of my friends had a grillout and invited a bunch of people over and I managed to stop bye at tje tail end of it. I got more of the same attraction wise from two of the girls there.
So to summarize I feel like this weekend I was getting more iois than is the norm for me. I am also feeling more relaxed when talking to woman compared to normal. THAT is the part that I like even more so than even the external results. Im after getting the internal state back on track and feeling cool, calm, and confident/sexy as fuck to the level that I used to be at and beyond. Even when I get some of the iois I just dont feel like I match whats going on internally for the most part. Like i said though i felt more comfortable than normal this past weekend though so thats a step in the right direction.
Im still getting bursts of weird anxiety/thoughts/feelings but it has at least not been as constant as it was there for while. Thats about it for now
DMSI 3.1 A Day 70
Went out last night, didnt really notice anything in terms of increased attraction. Had a good time with my friends regardless though. Been feeling kind of zoned out lately
Fd up my no fap streak again thursday night and gave into the urge again today. I have a real tough time getting to sleep sometimes and the urge was really strong to masturbate. I tyried to fight it but I basically gave in reasoning that itd help me get to sleep or tha tI probably wasnt going to fall asleep unless I did it.
Also noticing I havent been as productive work wise lately. Been slacking off just looking a tfb/ surfing the web way too much.