Day 24
Currently listening to -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTup5mT4O-Q
The past three days I've taken a break from DMSI to hopefully process the programming. My brain's been in a strange place. I've also been tired since about day 14. This past week literally kicked my ass. This morning it physically came to a head with one of the worst headaches I've had in weeks, along with my body finally giving in. I couldn't keep any food down.
I had a slight headache yesterday too. But this morning it was a monster. I can't blame DMSI for it, but this was reminiscent of 2.3 when I first started it. I can only assume I must have processed something deep.
On the women front, some of the women I know are starting to respond to me again, and then there are other women also. 4Kings mentioned in one of his posts how we are probably oblivious to all of the attention we're getting, and I absolutely agree. I have friends pointing out the eyeballs I've been getting from women lately, while it's been completely lost on me.
There are so many things that have happened over the past 3 weeks since I started 2.5, that it's hard to get it all through over a few posts.
The one debate I see on here all the time relates to the effectiveness of DMSI and whether the program is meetings its objective.
I can only speak for myself, but I started thinking about some of my own past experiences. Now, my post can be biased because I live in NYC and because of that, culturally, people are different here than in some other cities I have partied in. So, some of what I state in this post needs to be qualified by the experiences of other NY'rs in the area, such as Aventus and Apollo.
Generally though, what I have found is that a woman will pursue or initiate you for sex, as long as you appeal to her base desires and instincts. Women aren't shy, hence I sometimes state in other posts that sex is fairly easy. But, and there is a but, I've found that my friends that do have a lot of success with women are easily approachable. They are charming and charismatic, and for the most part, slightly aloof. They don't try hard - I guess you could say they are naturally themselves. Not sure if they are naturals. In effect, women feel comfortable around them and after a few drinks, inhibitions go away. Things happen.
I read a question someone posted on Shannon's journal that if a hot woman were to come up to someone in a mall and ask them for sex, would they know what to do about it?
Honestly, if a really hot girl randomly came up to me in a mall and told me she wanted to f*ck me, the first thing I'd think is, is this chick going to drug me and steal one of my kidneys and sell it in the black market? That's just me though.
I have been trying to measure DMSI's effectiveness based on how I feel. Women pick up on guys that have a strong sense of self and are confident.
We all know this. But, I wanted to clarify how well the program had worked for me until now by interacting with someone who knows me well. So, Friday night I had drinks with one of my closest friends who I have known for almost 18 years and also happens to be a beautiful woman that I have had some amazingly fun times with in the past.
I asked her about whether she noticed any changes within me and I asked her about not only why she was OK with us hooking up, but also us gaming other women together. Her answers were interesting.
She said that women are generally careful of guys because the more attractive the woman is, the more she has to fear. She's lived through some pretty violent scenarios in her own past with guys stalking her, almost being raped, and just men coming on too strong.
Any time she's hooked up with a guy in the past, she's fielded him not so much on questions, but generally looked for reactions to measure out any red flags that may come up. So I asked her if those were shit tests, and she said yes. Depending on how a guy will answer the question or evade it, she gets a good idea of who he is. Hence, she may have just a one night stand if she's really attracted to the guy and it flows well, or she'll screen him through a few dates before making a final decision on where he fits into her world. Whether she sees him as someone that she would like to have socially as a friend (I found the way she described socially as a friend to be interesting) or if she may want something a bit longer term.
I picked up on the second point and asked her where that left us, since we are friends, but we also have sex on occasion with each other and sometimes add a third person (always a girl) in the mix. She said with me, she knew that I had a dark side and that was what interested her in the first place. She also knew that she'd be playing with fire, but, that I would never physically hurt her. Emotionally, would be another story. But most of all, she was comfortable with me because I don't judge her or her activities. If she sleeps with a guy, she'll talk to me about it and I'll listen and we can joke about that sort of thing. It's comfortable. She likes the open door policy that we have and the fact that I'm fairly even tempered and never flipped on her.
Now, again, she's been a part of the NY party scene for a long time and while I'm sure there are a lot of women out there that approach life the same way, of the many women I know, she's one of the few that takes this approach.
I bring this up because if people are starting to feel a stronger inner sense of self, I think that's the first stage of DMSI working towards the goal. That goal may take months (I don't think it will take years), to reach.
But with every version of DMSI that has been released and the new objectives added, I feel like the goal line gets closer. I read from one of Shannon's posts that he plans to add making it easier to allow for sex to happen.
That's a big one. Logistics of getting laid can get hairy if you don't have your own place or she doesn't, or if there are roommates involved.
You also have to be in a place where its easier for a girls defenses to go down and an actual hookup to happen. Hanging out on a Friday or Saturday night (Thursday nights if you're in NY) at a fairly active bar definitely increases the probability that you'll meet someone. Good conversation and a nice interaction creates a nice flow.
I read in Aventus's journal how the Asian girl he met at work was interacting with him. I think that general interaction is what ultimately will enable the woman to make that move to initiate sex in the first place, as the Asian girl aggressively stated that she'd bite both of Aventus's heads.
This is my long winded way of saying that unless you're a star with groupies following you everywhere, having some interaction with a woman may be a good first step to having a fulfilling night of sex. Also, having that interaction to build on, will only make the sex that much more intense.
I refer back to Chaos's 2.4 journal with the blonde. He had that personal interaction that escalated to a pretty intense and fulfilling night of sex for him and the girl.
I'm not sure if it would be the same had a girl just come up to a guy and said let's f*ck and then they do. For me, I know the intensity and passion wouldn't be there in a scenario like that.
Despite what I may casually post about how women are a distraction for me and sometimes just a hole to bang, the events that lead up to me having sex with them are typically when I cut loose and have fun. I relax. Hence, I state it as being a distraction because most of the time I am laser focused on work like objectives. I rarely detach from that mindset. So, while I have stated it as a distraction, it really is time I need to detach and just shut down.
Anyway, these were just some of my random musings while I was off of DMSI over the past few days and read some of the posts on others journals.
This is also my long winded way of saying that DMSI is definitely working for me. The friend mentioned that I seem more casual these days and a little softer.
I take that as a good thing. I've been hard for long enough of my life. And I've hidden behind the pain of something that happened 23 years ago and used that as a crutch for too long.
DMSI has the power to change you if you let it. And for me, change is the one thing I always welcome and consider the one constant in my life.
It's how I know I'm still alive.
