(05-05-2017, 01:20 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (05-04-2017, 05:44 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 31 - Update
In other areas of my life the only thing that has changed is my sleep which I cannot attribute to E2 at all, I mean would you?
I downloaded 2 clock apps from the online app store for my phone.
1 alarm clock waves you up in theory by monitoring your sleep cycles and when you come to the light sleep stage (which occurs multiple times a night) it will alarm near to my set time to wake and thus wake me up.
I used this for 2 days and woke up at 6-ish am which was my goal.
The first time, I had slept at 2am so only 4hours sleep, the second time which was waking up this morning I slept and had about 7hours sleep.
I used the 2nd clock app last night. This is an app that asks you to take a picture so I took it of my bathroom. Then when it rings it will continue to ring until you wake up and take the same picture thus getting you out of bed and stopping its alarm.
Today as I woke up at well 6.20am I didn't need to 2nd alarm, my fail safe, to ring so I turned it off.
I havent actually woken at 6am but 6.15-6.20am which is good going.
I however stay sat up in bed - waking up (I do maybe go bathroom for a quick toilet break), reading emails and being cozy while my cold apartment stays cold, for 1.5hrs then i get out of bed.
So my hope is that I wake up then get out of bed and stay out of bed.
I thus have a theory, that its best I wake up at 5.30am and therefore by 6am I'm out of bed - so this needs to be the new goal.
If until next tuesday I can maintain this early wake up schedule then I am going to be very happy indeed.
thanks
Have you ever considered that E2 guided you to download those apps which give you better sleep?
No not really because I for 1 didn't think E2 would able to do this or guide me like this, and also because these apps came to my awareness before e2 but frustration at my condition caused me to then get the apps.
However I'm open to what you are maybe suggesting so is this even possible with E2 or something others have experienced?
(05-05-2017, 03:47 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (05-05-2017, 01:20 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (05-04-2017, 05:44 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 31 - Update
In other areas of my life the only thing that has changed is my sleep which I cannot attribute to E2 at all, I mean would you?
I downloaded 2 clock apps from the online app store for my phone.
1 alarm clock waves you up in theory by monitoring your sleep cycles and when you come to the light sleep stage (which occurs multiple times a night) it will alarm near to my set time to wake and thus wake me up.
I used this for 2 days and woke up at 6-ish am which was my goal.
The first time, I had slept at 2am so only 4hours sleep, the second time which was waking up this morning I slept and had about 7hours sleep.
I used the 2nd clock app last night. This is an app that asks you to take a picture so I took it of my bathroom. Then when it rings it will continue to ring until you wake up and take the same picture thus getting you out of bed and stopping its alarm.
Today as I woke up at well 6.20am I didn't need to 2nd alarm, my fail safe, to ring so I turned it off.
I havent actually woken at 6am but 6.15-6.20am which is good going.
I however stay sat up in bed - waking up (I do maybe go bathroom for a quick toilet break), reading emails and being cozy while my cold apartment stays cold, for 1.5hrs then i get out of bed.
So my hope is that I wake up then get out of bed and stay out of bed.
I thus have a theory, that its best I wake up at 5.30am and therefore by 6am I'm out of bed - so this needs to be the new goal.
If until next tuesday I can maintain this early wake up schedule then I am going to be very happy indeed.
thanks
Have you ever considered that E2 guided you to download those apps which give you better sleep?
No not really because I for 1 didn't think E2 would able to do this or guide me like this, and also because these apps came to my awareness before e2 but frustration at my condition caused me to then get the apps.
However I'm open to what you are maybe suggesting so is this even possible with E2 or something others have experienced?
Not only it is possible, but it is most likely. You were aware of those apps before E2 and didn`t use them. Now when you are listening to E2 you started to use them.
(05-05-2017, 04:47 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (05-05-2017, 03:47 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ] (05-05-2017, 01:20 AM)cataleya Wrote: [ -> ] (05-04-2017, 05:44 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 31 - Update
In other areas of my life the only thing that has changed is my sleep which I cannot attribute to E2 at all, I mean would you?
I downloaded 2 clock apps from the online app store for my phone.
1 alarm clock waves you up in theory by monitoring your sleep cycles and when you come to the light sleep stage (which occurs multiple times a night) it will alarm near to my set time to wake and thus wake me up.
I used this for 2 days and woke up at 6-ish am which was my goal.
The first time, I had slept at 2am so only 4hours sleep, the second time which was waking up this morning I slept and had about 7hours sleep.
I used the 2nd clock app last night. This is an app that asks you to take a picture so I took it of my bathroom. Then when it rings it will continue to ring until you wake up and take the same picture thus getting you out of bed and stopping its alarm.
Today as I woke up at well 6.20am I didn't need to 2nd alarm, my fail safe, to ring so I turned it off.
I havent actually woken at 6am but 6.15-6.20am which is good going.
I however stay sat up in bed - waking up (I do maybe go bathroom for a quick toilet break), reading emails and being cozy while my cold apartment stays cold, for 1.5hrs then i get out of bed.
So my hope is that I wake up then get out of bed and stay out of bed.
I thus have a theory, that its best I wake up at 5.30am and therefore by 6am I'm out of bed - so this needs to be the new goal.
If until next tuesday I can maintain this early wake up schedule then I am going to be very happy indeed.
thanks
Have you ever considered that E2 guided you to download those apps which give you better sleep?
No not really because I for 1 didn't think E2 would able to do this or guide me like this, and also because these apps came to my awareness before e2 but frustration at my condition caused me to then get the apps.
However I'm open to what you are maybe suggesting so is this even possible with E2 or something others have experienced?
Not only it is possible, but it is most likely. You were aware of those apps before E2 and didn`t use them. Now when you are listening to E2 you started to use them.
OMG seriously? I mean I didn't think this was even possible with E2, I thought it would I dunno clear stuff but hows this done by E2, I mean what is it benefitting by having me wake early or am I missing the point? lol
Day 35 - Update
Im trying to listen to Ocean Flac via earphones through my phone whenever I can, and last few days have managed to listen to on average 4hrs in the day which is great.
At night the US has changed from mp3 to flac and I listen to that as usual and stated in this post.
Any noticeable results = Nil
So whats happening in my life at the moment then?
1) My Sleep has become my primary goal as you all would have read. I have been managing to wake up (not get out of bed) but wake up around 5.45am-6.10am.
This is fantastic for me as I was usually waking up around 11am on a push to 1 or 2pm on a norm.
However waking up is only happening with an alarm and I realised that I need to get 8hours sleep otherwise the quality of my sleep won't be good and ill be a zombie all day.
Ive tried to go to sleep by 9pm but getting to bed that early even on a weekend hasnt been so easy due to eating so close to that time and not feeling hungry any earlier.
2 days ago I began taking my sleep supplements again. For anyone interested these are: ZMA, 5HTP, GABA, Melatonin and Magnesium. Never take these all at the same time. I spread them out following advice from my local supplement store from 5pm-9pm.
Yesterday I got to bed around 9.15pm and watched youtube on my phone until 10pm then fell asleep. So its getting better slowly.
My goal is to get 9hours sleep every day which is the ONLY way I can feel fully refreshed I feel.
IMPORTANCE: When I do however wake up, at the start of this new regime I wasnt getting out of bed for 1.5hours. I mean I may go to the bathroom then come back and sit on the bed and watch youtube or snapchat or check emails etc. I wouldnt get out of bed.
I today managed to reduce that time by 30mins, so I'm in the shower within 1 hours waking up which is a good start.
I am however still slow in the morning, and not as active or productive as I would like to be, will this improve at all - does anyone have a view on this?
The goal is to wake up at 6 and finish my bathroom needs by 6.15pm (not likely as yet) and then to walk to the local gym and start working out from 6.30am - 7.30am. Then to come home, have breakfast, have a shower and then dress and go either to uni at 9am or do work from 9am.
So what else:
Today I felt fear. Fear of actually doing assignments assigned to me. I am not doing what needs to be done because I am prioritising researching online the art of studying, or how to study as my technique both of note taking and then what to do after that is still bad/poor.
I have only managed to get this far due to sheer persistence and fear.
The purpose and reason for me starting E2 was to eliminate these fears, fears leading to procrastination, fears leading to self doubt, fears leading to inaction and analysis to paralysis, fear of failure and fear of success, as well as improve my self esteem and self worth and responsibility and maturity.
In all honesty none of these has changed or been affected as yet.
The only reason I believe that I am focused on sleep improvement is because I have been for many months and was there but then went backwards to do going home pre-easter. I am not eager to get this fixed so that in the summer I can get focused on my physio and gym and then start the 3rd year of my degree more focused.
I also said I felt fear today and that was fear that what if the sub isn't working, not because it can't work on me but because I don't have it loud enough.
So please please can someone kindly answer this for me but incase no-one does ill post it on Shannon's Journal to ask him too.
The question is, am I playing US loud enough. I checked it with frequensee and at the speakers it is around 30db and at my pillow/ears its around 45-55db.
This fear has made me wonder if the sub is being heard by my ears so if anyone has any information on this please let me know.
I should now do some work, the time is 10.55am, instead I am on here writing this.
I have deadlines looming and nothing started :/
thanks for reading
Day 38 - Update
NIGHTMARES - read on
So any noticeable change at all, the answer is still no.
I have calibrated I believe correctly the night-time listening with frequensee and then compensated that with calibrating also with Trickling Stream so I believe it is all ok.
I sleep on a large wide double or king size style bed, and wondered if perhaps I'm sleeping closer to 1 speaker of the 2 makes a difference but doubt it would.
So no change in self esteem personal body image or anything internal.
However I had 2 nightmares last night and I'm unsure if its due to eating late, not taking my sleep supplements that have helped me sleep and correct my cycle though not fully resolve it as yet or whether this is the power of the sub so read on and share your views with me please.
I slept around 10pm which is a little late for me. At 2.05am I woke due to a nightmare.
This first nightmare, I don't want to go into details, however it was a nightmare that revolved around my extended family finding out something about me that would be a source of embarrassment for my family and something they are also party to and involved in. No nothing illegal, just family politics as I would call it. It may bring shame though I don't want to specifically use that word as I know you will all jump on and say its E2 see however embarrassing is the word I would use more.
I then couldnt sleep until around 3.43am even though I tried gave up and stayed awake under slumber got to me.
At 6.07am I'm unsure if it was my alarm or the 2nd nightmare that woke me up.
In this nightmare, I actually was so angry towards the end that the anger built and i got pushed out of the dream.
The dream again without going into too much detail, dealt with my university group of 10 that we are assigned to and remain in for the duration of my course. There is a split in this group where I am pretty much ignored and blanked totally by the girls in the group 2 of whom were friends of mine.
I have no idea why this happened or why they resorted to this though I could come up with guesses that may not even be right however in this dream, it was revealed that 1 of them was manipulated by a 3rd party who was jealous that I had passed my exams without studying.
This is the reason in the dream and in the dream I was shocked and amazed to hear this and in the dream disappointed and amazed at this 1 particular girl, who in all honestly is probably the big snake in my group anyway.
Nevertheless I was talking to members of my group in my dream, stood up and ranting and raving about how this is super wrong and immature and stupid and fucked up and well i got angrier and angrier and more frustrated to the point that before I turned into the incredible hulk I got pushed out of the matrix and into the real world.
I basically had a rough night so any thoughts?
Day 40 - Update
1st nobody has got back to my last post, so can some of you tell me if you think its E2 or just random that I got those nightmares please.
Since then nothing has happened however my apartment has become a mess, maybe due to exams nearing. I wonder if this is resistance or just me being messy or stress related and something that E2 can deal with, any thoughts?
I havent fapped for 1.5 weeks, due to reading on here something about it and seeing that theres this whole big movement about how not rapping increases energy etc, no idea if its true but will test my will power and see how long I can resist.
I have poor body image I have realised. I don't like the way I look. I thought I did and I know I can act in public as if I do but I've realised I don't like my weight, my hairless, my stretch marks as a guy (I only saw these today on my belly) and I now don't think my face is attractive to women.
Is this E2 revealing this or is it me just realising I've this issue.
I realised today too that since being around 6 I've had low self esteem that I mask well. I have ups and downs like all people but I realise that I've never believed myself to be pretty or handsome even though when I was in my late teens I honestly thought I was attractive however didn't believe someone else would find me attractive if that makes sense.
The thing is why now am I even thinking about all this crap??
Addendum (a few hours after writing the above):
I didn't realise but as the days gone on, I'm feeling lost and shit. Im in my apartment and was going to go to a shop but decided not to so that I could do some studying instead I've done nothing and felt crap. I havent listened to the sub all day only at night but Ive started US from my phone and then thought I should come and add this information here to this post. No idea why I'm feeling crap.
You are clearly being affected by E2. It appears you have a great deal of fear, and possibly guilt and shame too, which you are facing in two different directions at once which seem to keep you "locked in place". I had a friend, for example, who was afraid of being given sexual attention because she had been raped, but she was equally afraid of being sexually unattractive to men. These fears held her in place and made things challenging for her to change.
Your resistance to change, difficulty seeing the changes you are making, and insecurity about the process are all suggestive of you having a similar fear based situation. The best thing for you to do is stop looking for the results. Use the program, set it and forget it, and just live your life.
Have you ever used DMSI?
(05-14-2017, 11:09 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]You are clearly being affected by E2. It appears you have a great deal of fear, and possibly guilt and shame too, which you are facing in two different directions at once which seem to keep you "locked in place". I had a friend, for example, who was afraid of being given sexual attention because she had been raped, but she was equally afraid of being sexually unattractive to men. These fears held her in place and made things challenging for her to change.
Your resistance to change, difficulty seeing the changes you are making, and insecurity about the process are all suggestive of you having a similar fear based situation. The best thing for you to do is stop looking for the results. Use the program, set it and forget it, and just live your life.
Have you ever used DMSI?
Wow thank you for replying Shannon
))
I am finally glad to see that it is E2 working on me
I understand what you say. I have been playing US at night but trying to whenever I can to listen to masked during the day with earphones (which is very haphazard) however I have been playing US via my samsung s4 phone next to me on the desk while I sit and work/watch tv etc during the day, so unsure if its the masked because I have got some days with earphones or the US, can you tell which?
I have not no, I started E2 after your advice, because I have major issues when it comes to studying (procrastination, up and down motivation, anxiety, I don't start until its too late/deadlines, night owl/avoid working all day) and as a mature student back at university I really need to fix all these.
What do you please think Shannon?, but my goal isn't to become sexual irresistible just yet; I need to fix myself in terms of my self esteem, self worth, responsibility and maturity as well as all issues mentioned above and the fears I have from studying, or heights, or socially etc then create self confidence and then MLS I thought tbh. thank you once again
(05-14-2017, 11:37 AM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]Wow thank you for replying Shannon ))
I am finally glad to see that it is E2 working on me
I understand what you say. I have been playing US at night but trying to whenever I can to listen to masked during the day with earphones (which is very haphazard) however I have been playing US via my samsung s4 phone next to me on the desk while I sit and work/watch tv etc during the day, so unsure if its the masked because I have got some days with earphones or the US, can you tell which?
I have not no, I started E2 after your advice, because I have major issues when it comes to studying (procrastination, up and down motivation, anxiety, I don't start until its too late/deadlines, night owl/avoid working all day) and as a mature student back at university I really need to fix all these.
What do you please think Shannon?, but my goal isn't to become sexual irresistible just yet, I need to fix myself and the fears then create confidence and then MLS I thought tbh. thank you once again
DMSI is currently much stronger in clearing than E2.
Imagine you have to level out a mountain completely, i.e make it completely flat. E2 is like having miners surround the mountain and mine it continuously and relentlessly from every angle, getting rid of everything.
DMSI is like getting a huge-ass drill and just drilling the shit out of it. You'll drill amazingly fast, but you'll miss some parts - because it clears things that are related to being sexually irresistible - which is quite a lot, I'd say around 75% of the total bullcrap a person has.
For fastest and most thorough clearing, you can do DMSI until you are fully, completely cleared (which will take a while anyway), and then finish off with E2.
As for studying and university procrastination, your best bet is to wait for MLS. It will come out soon, and will be stupidly powerful with the P6 tech.
I suggest you take up Bioenergetics or even better Trauma Releasing excersizes. They both help the body release trauma through shaking and vibration. Also Bob Cooleys Resistance stretching deserves a look also. I also Suggest that if you dont want to run the sub for more than 365 days than you shouldn't run it at all because it wont clear out Traumas in less than a year. Im kinda stuck not too because I have been forced to look at parts of myself that i dont want to and also im in DEEP procrastination mode, along with the fact that i cant seem to do anything because of what is going on underneath the surface. I have been getting rid of alot of things and extra items and habits in my life that dont serve me and I have been questioning my motives for some things that i have been holding on to. This is the lowest point that i have ever been on in my sub run and Iam just really lost with no direction. I know it will pass but it is taking forever to me.
Day 45 - Update
While I await for Shannon to return and to reply to my post above I decided I will add an update.
Even though Shannon has suggested I have trauma I'm totally unaware of this as nothing really heavy has happened in my life that wouldnt or hasnt happened in the life of an average child brought up in the west.
That being said I owe my sincerest thanks to Nemanja who gave me so much needed information.
Thank you to Daredevil too for offering his insights too and sharing his expertise and experience.
So first the update:
Any noticeable change, NO.
Any dreams NO - not since the 2 nightmares in 1 night I had which is journaled above.
Listening has been 8hours per day however past few days have been around 6-7hours.
I wonder if Masked via earphone are the real reason for my dreams rather than US however I'm still hoping that US is working on me as I do not have the time to play Masked in the day. If I'm not listening to music or watching a movie I'm asleep or out side and thus masked will usually interfere.
As I type this though I have pushed to listen to masked via earphones at this very moment, since this post typing isn't anything that needs me to listen to other music etc.
So besides noticing nothing else, my pattern of sleep has gone bad again but that isn't the sub, that is the exam season at university.
I am majorly procrastinating again and fearing opening my books to prepare for the finals and this is unfortunate.
I am also feeling apathy, that is I am not feeling fear at failing if I don't study and this clearly is an ego/defence mechanism stopping me from studying. I however have felt the nerves a little during the past few days when I have sat for tests or exams for various courses.
I however am moving into action at times due to deadlines and this is the only reason. The fear of messing up or rather the fear of the deadline passing without doing work is the only reason I seem to get into action for studying and this is unfortunate indeed.
I want to study, I desire to know the information, to show the teachers and my peers that I'm aware of the information and to be able to connect what I know to other new pieces of information that is presented to us as well as be able to connect it to real life situations but I'm not studying.
I come home, and I become lazy. I come home and I sit for hours watching youtube videos and eating and feeling tired. I am lazy when I get home and I'm not able to get into action :/ and I don't know why.
Beyond these habits and feelings having remained unchanged there is nothing else that I can say as I cannot notice or feel any clearing has occurred.
Clearly E2 hasnt worked on anything related to my procrastination or lack of action in the case of studying nor on my state of self-sabotage that is also a part of this.
If E2 has worked on me, I'm absolutely and totally oblivious to it or not focused on that area of my life however in reality I cannot say my reactions or feelings to a pretty girl, or a disturbing insect has changed.
Not having any dreams has disappointed me since I saw those as a way to gauge success of E2 working and since the 2 nightmares in the same night, (which i can't remember at all if was because I may have listened to masked via earphones) nothing has happened.
I havent fapped in I think 3 weeks now or near to 3 weeks and even though I look at pornsites and see the images or thumbnails of the pictures I'm not feeling any change in horniness/arousal. So my drive has either reduced or been suppressed perhaps.
SO what now?
Well as you all know (if you are following me, and if you aren't HELLO why not? lol - joking) Shannon asked if I have tried DMSI.
I havent and hadn't as I thought it was ONLY there to deal with 'sexiness' and this isn't my priority.
As a recap, I had tried MLS 5G and noticed nothing at which time Shannon suggested that this was due to MLS 5G having scripting errors and then to try E2 to clear the obstacles/resistance/selfsabotaging towards success.
I havent been able to get into a pattern I believe until now as Shannon assured me that even playing US via a phone is still offering around 45% power of the total you would get from playing on 20khz stereo speakers and I like those odds so I'm happy to know that I can play US basically at most times now without reason to not.
I got a lot of advice from Nemanja, due to his post above.
DMSI would smash my internal garbage in a way E2 wouldnt however as a poor student, I couldnt justify nor afford the price of a current experimental sub when I'm still at the 'is this working or not working or is the masked working on me better than the US' stage of my listening.
I also learnt that when MLS 5.5G is released, then it will be more or equally powerful as DMSI at clearing the issues INSIDE of me that create obstacles of self sabotage or neglect or procrastination for when it comes to all things related to studying.
This means rather than E2 which purportedly works on all issues holistically this newer sub will work specifically and categorically on those issues that I NEED immediately help with.
This is pretty darn terrific indeed.
So the plan has somewhat changed now.
I hope I can get more confirmation of this from Shannon as he is after all the creator of the subs but until then the plan is simple...
As I cannot afford nor justify the purchase of DMSI, I will remain and continue with E2 in the hope that it will still clear away garbage inside of me.
I will then following guidance from Shannon take any necessary breaks from subs before then moving on to MLS 5.5G once it is released.
If Shannon doesn't agree with this strategy or says that MLS 5.5G won't clear the issues better than E2, then of course ill just remain on E2.
I will then use the clearing element of MLS5.5G for as long as is instructed by the subs protocols or for as long as I need to (inline with said protocols) in the hope and expectation of issues being removed and then to move onto a track B of MLS 5.5G, if it falls in the same created usage/design as DMSI to better install the programming needed to make me a successful student superstar.
So if anyone reading this has any insights or advice or questions then please fire away..... thanks for reading
Day 46 - Update
(05-18-2017, 04:13 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ] (05-18-2017, 12:01 PM)Jake2015 Wrote: [ -> ]While I await for Shannon's reply, I wonder do any of you know if MLS 5.5G will be similar in design to DMSI, where there will be 2 distinct tracks. 1 for clearing and the other for installing?
If so, will the clearing be better than E2 or DMSI for clearing those issues that prevent someone from Learning/studying/reading etc?
thanks
My current design goal for MLS is to make it include the barest minimum possible clearing and healing, which will not (to the maximum possible extent) interfere with execution, while achieving it's goals.
No "A" or "B" planned currently. Just MLS.
The healing and clearing will be custom designed for making it possible to learn and recall at your best, specifically to achieve the goals of MLS, so of course it will be better than other programs for that goal.
So this above was what I had asked on Shannon's journal and he kindly replied back.
So from this my understanding is that the MLS won't be a good as E2 or DMSI at clearing things but it will be enough of a clearing to allow me to be a better student, do you all agree?
Today at uni I saw a nice blonde girl, and just thought what the hell so approached her and told her that she is the most attractive girl I have seen at this uni (flattery should help and I thought showing my confidence will help too) and that I wanted to say hello and ask her her name.
She told me her name and was waiting to enter a head of departments room so she said wait ill be out soon so I said ok.
I was with another friend talking to another guy and when she came out I went to talk to her but as I did a girl from my group came up behind her and stood at another professors door but was too close and made me uncomfortable.
Why? because she's a b$tch and I became fearful of my actions being spread around my dysfunctional group or others giving me a bad rep etc - narrow minded people at this uni.
Anyway so the girl came out and I was trying to talk to her but she said that she had to go to the deans office. I said ok no problem you go.
I could have just asked for her number but didn't and kicked myself for it.
So I got home and before logging here I went onto Facebook, found her and messaged her
Watch this space lol
You know I am thinking of buying E2 after following this journal for a month..
How many days have you actually listened to E2? Including ur previous runs.
But I gotta listen to MHS-5.5G as long as possible and then MLS.. Once I get my study habits and learning habits on track I can think about Listening to E2 for a long time.
(05-19-2017, 10:46 AM)Zane Wrote: [ -> ]You know I am thinking of buying E2 after following this journal for a month..
How many days have you actually listened to E2? Including ur previous runs.
But I gotta listen to MHS-5.5G as long as possible and then MLS.. Once I get my study habits and learning habits on track I can think about Listening to E2 for a long time.
Hey Zane, before I answer the number of days, can you tell me why you're thinking of buying/using E2 after following my journal?
Ill give you also the rest of my reply after you get back to me.