So now that I'm done with alpha I figured I'd get some use out of this subliminal that's been sitting on my hard drive. I feel kind of redundant going through this sub, but I feel like it might touch on things that alpha didn't or it might not because I'm not sure exactly what was in alpha. Anyway I figured I'd give it a shot and see what happens.
The reason I think this sub might help me out a lot is because it's entirely focused on the area of women. I don't know how to describe it but I pretty much feel a block in this area. If at all possible I feel like I subconsciously repel women. Most guys when they get attention from women go after that, but for me it's kind of the opposite which is weird. I actually get very uncomfortable and it's not pleasant at all.
Part of me still thinks I've got some negative beliefs from way back in middle school. I dated this girl, who to this day I have no idea why I did it and I seriously have trouble figuring out why. Anyway she was way more interested in me than I was of her, so she would always give me attention and make me very uncomfortable. This being my first real experience with a girlfriend, I feel like it made a very negative impact and now I kind of associate a relationship with a girl with that feeling. My worst fear is interacting with a girl that feels the exact same way I felt when I was in middle school.
Problem number 2 started in high school when I dated a girl and then got the same feeling which I feared. I was very hesitant to kiss her and when I made out with her she french kissed me which was also a horrible experience for me. I was very hesitant about sex so eventually she just cheated on me, told me, and then I was like whatever.
So yeah I haven't had a good experience with girlfriends and I feel like a lot of that is causing a subconscious block which pushes away potential relationships. 20 years old and still a virgin. I guess I could have sex with a random girl just to lose my virginity, but I really don't care and I feel like having sex for the sake of losing my virginity is pretty desperate. But I gotta say there is a double standard. Women are viewed as innocent if they haven't lost their virginity or pure. Guys? Well we are pretty much ridiculed and viewed as less than a man.
What if you could turn that around and start to tell yourself that all these girls will want to sleep with you when they find out your a virgin.
My friend who was a virgin until about 29, used to come to clubs with me. I was making out with this girl and we dropped them off home, unfortunately her friends ex was there so we didn't go in. But I seen her the next day and she told me that when her friend found out my friend was a virgin she was excited and wanted to sleep with him just because of that. If your comfortable with it, she will be too.
I think this video talks about turning 'your story' around. My internet is slow as I used all my downloads so I can't check.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJTP9_iJalQ
Another good thing i've been using lately is visualization. I've been using audio's that relax me, get me into a deep state and then I visualize.
Something like theta brainwaves you could use and when your deep then start visualizing, it's alot easier when your in a altered state.
You want to visualize the end result, having sex, get all your senses into it, taste, smell, sound, feel. And see it like it is actually happening, work on the feeling of 'I have this now'.
I've found that since doing it I have been less needy and have been feeling surprisingly sexually satisfied even though I haven't had sex for a while until last night.
Even try to add some visualizations of the start of the interaction, like you approaching a girl, getting her number, having fun with her, and having sex with her at the end.
It also sounds like something from earlier in your life may cause this, the fact that it was a bad experience when she french kissed you, when it should be a good experience. Maybe guilt about sex from your upbringing (e.g parents, religion.)
So maybe something else like EFT would be good to let go of some of that stuff also.
-Ben
I've had some sub concious blockage about this as well. I've been told by many people girls don't like guys who are virgins but a couple of friends have told me alot of chicks dig virgins. It really depends on the girl but If you are ok with it like Ben said, she will be cool with it as well. Don't do what I did and lose your virginity just out of desperation which is what I did. However I am not sorry for it. I enjoyed myself but in the end it meant nothing. It's really not a big deal though, being a virgin. I'll consider myself a sober virgin
If you have Shannon's BE program, use the theta track for visualizing. Upon starting the theta track, give your brain about 10 minutes to 'sync up' to the theta and then visualize.
What you may try and I'm trying this as well is to write out a script to guide your visualizing, record your voice, mix both the theta track and voice together (in a multitrack recorder such as audacity) and export as a .wav file.
My problem is when I visualize, my mind tends to wander off and get lost.
@ Ben: what audios are you talking about? PM me whenever you get time.
I will have to try that ron.
Cool I'll give the visualizations a try. Honestly being a virgin doesn't bother me that much and I'm not really in a rush to lose it. I'm definitely going to start internalizing that chicks dig virgins though haha. I think in society guys are pressured a lot more to lose their virginity just for the sake of getting laid.
I think I might do a little self reflection today to see where these blocks are really coming from. My childhood is a blur, but I do remember I didn't always have this anxiety. It might be guilt about sex but I'm really going to have to pick my brain to figure this one out.
Quote: I think in society guys are pressured a lot more to lose their virginity just for the sake of getting laid.
BINGO!
It's society BS once again. But to "reframe" the whole virgin thing, just say that you are a seducer in training (positive) in place of virgin (negative).
Ok something i'm noticing here. It may or may not be true, but will give you something to think about.
Your saying stuff like "I don't want to sleep with somebody just to lose my virginity" and "I think in society guys are pressured a lot more to lose their virginity just for the sake of getting laid."
Which on the surface sounds perfectly reasonable.
But be sure you aren't saying this stuff because of some fear or insecurity, which I think may be the case.
When I was 18 and decided to get it handled, and I first got into David Deangelo. I made the goal to lose it and I did and it felt good. And it wasn't like the girl was some pogga, she wasn't too bad.
The interesting thing is when I would fantasize about girls wishing I could have sex with them or whatever, it would push them away, but interestingly i've noticed that when i've been visualizing it while in trance and like i'm actually having sex with them and the feeling of 'having it' it's actually drawing them in. Even a specific one I visualized tried to come and talk to me in the nightclub, but I didn't get to because I was dealing with something.
And it's reduced neediness alot.
-Ben
Never ever visualize a specific person when you try to manifest something. That is direct manipulation of another person, and it has a painful price. Trust me.
Interesting, i'm curious to what this could cause.
Most of the girls I visualized was just for a reference. But I did visualize like this before a date, and it didn't happen that night but it did the next night.
Though she does seem a bit addicted to me and won't stop sending me messages.
I seen it as being able to generate the feeling of already 'having it' so then I don't have to be needy and crave for it, but instead just relax and enjoy the situation. I didn't really see it as a way of manipulating them.
There was also a realization and an intent that I uncovered while doing this.
The intent/thought of "If this is something that don't want then it will cause them to move away from me and that's okay. But if it is an outcome that they desire with me then it will draw them in more."
And with that intent, I don't see it being manipulative.
But I am asking why you say that so that I can understand and avoid that negative stuff happening.
-Ben
Oh and I just did a skype session with a guy I met online who i'm going to exchange coaching sessions with. And he gave me an interesting affirmation to work on.
He said before this he couldn't get affirmations to work, but he has been using it with money and got really good results. We modified it for what I am looking for.
"I accept powerful thoughts and I am prepared to increase my success with women now"
He said the important parts are the parts of 'accept' and 'prepared'. He told me to write it down physically 25 times a day and see what happens.
What do you think about that kind of affirmation Shannon?
I've never had much success with affirmations myself either, but I am going to give this one a go. I can't see it conflicting with other stuff because it is about accepting the powerful thoughts and being prepared to increase the success.
-Ben
benjamin Wrote:Ok something i'm noticing here. It may or may not be true, but will give you something to think about.
Your saying stuff like "I don't want to sleep with somebody just to lose my virginity" and "I think in society guys are pressured a lot more to lose their virginity just for the sake of getting laid."
Which on the surface sounds perfectly reasonable.
But be sure you aren't saying this stuff because of some fear or insecurity, which I think may be the case.
Either fear or insecurity is definitely a factor, I won't lie about that. I lived in fear for so long that the normal desire for interaction with women pretty much dissolved on it's own and alpha male just compounded that. I see what you are saying though and trust me there have been times where I've deluded myself into believing that I'm a virgin by choice. But you know you get to a certain point after not having something and you generally don't care anymore. It stops being a necessity and you see it as more of a luxury. Or maybe my sex drive isn't that high, who knows. Or maybe it is fear masking itself as something else. I'm not saying that I don't want to have sex, but I'm more of a guy that just lets things unfold and when the opportunity arises I'll take it.
Also after finishing alpha you really just feel complete by yourself. I've pretty much dropped any self help and I just do the subliminals now and occasionally meditate. But my fear is still present and it manifests itself as extreme indifference which is what I would like to get handled.
(07-20-2011, 08:24 AM)benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Oh and I just did a skype session with a guy I met online who i'm going to exchange coaching sessions with. And he gave me an interesting affirmation to work on.
He said before this he couldn't get affirmations to work, but he has been using it with money and got really good results. We modified it for what I am looking for.
"I accept powerful thoughts and I am prepared to increase my success with women now"
He said the important parts are the parts of 'accept' and 'prepared'. He told me to write it down physically 25 times a day and see what happens.
What do you think about that kind of affirmation Shannon?
I've never had much success with affirmations myself either, but I am going to give this one a go. I can't see it conflicting with other stuff because it is about accepting the powerful thoughts and being prepared to increase the success.
-Ben
The first part is too vague to make sense, and the second part is toothless. Being prepared to, without acting, is just like not being prepared to, without acting.
Ah ok cool.
I'm still curious about what I asked about the visualizations Shannon? They are the main thing i'm wondering about.