I have high confidence in this program and it has been recommended by people I trust. I will semi-regularly update this log with my experience and growth.
Background: I have been into self-improvement for a few years and have a lot of 'ticked' boxes. This will be a tool to take me from where I am to where I should be. It is my belief that upon achieving Alpha state I can then begin to ascend from a firm foundation.
However I do still hold on to regular goals such as fathering children so I will not be completely leaving this realm.
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Day 1:
I dreamt much during first night having this on and woke up probably 15 times over 7 hours. I woke up with a purpose and felt different. Perhaps this originates from my strong belief in this program.
I noticed one immediate change and that is a defender in my mind. There is a being that is (ME) but is separate from me now operating on my thought planes. What I mean by this is that every time I had a petty thought today there was my own voice shutting it down and discarding it as useless.
For example: Watching some creature eating Panago pizza and drinking Coke. I passed judgement in my mind but halfway through a voice rang to the effect of "Who cares!" "It doesn't matter!"
This happened many times today. A glorious addition as I should be wasting no energy on lower beings.
lol @ some creature, lower beings.
Welcome to the forums, and all the best in your journey!
Update:
Feeling the changes creeping up. Very slowly but they are coming, I can feel it. In the first week I was disappointed when I'd experience the same low level behaviour that my flesh shell would subjugate me to experience. Now however, I see that my body is improving. It's the attitude. I'm beginning to care less about the opinions of others and in that same breath, their views on my failures.
For example before public speaking earlier this week, I was still nervous, but I cared far less about what they thought about my nervousness. My attitude was just "oh well, get it done and you know it will help you grow". Whereas in the past it would have been fixating on "they can see your nervousness and judge you unworthy, so you are weak".
Another one is my willingness to ask questions when before shyness or something would hold me back.
My interactions with women are slowly improving. I know how to deal with this gender, but my self inflicted disorders/imbalances have prevented me from exercising the extent of my knowledge into the material. This is changing now and it is good.
This is Day 10 I believe.
Day 24:
I can't actually notice any differences but I understand that they probably won't come for another couple months. I ordered some Ayahuasca (12 doses worth) so this will probably create some big change. Planning to do it over the Christmas holiday at a friend's cabin.
Week 8 or 9 now
I think I'm feeling more chill about socializing in general. My attitude has become "all I have to do is show up and good things will happen". Probably some self worth programming from the sub kicking in.
Still get weird bouts of social anxiety sprinkled about but noticeably less than prior to starting the program. To be honest, getting rid of the anxiety is the main reason I purchased AM6. The other benefits just seemed like an added bonus.
My anxiety has always caught me off guard as it springs up completely unexpectedly. For example I could be feeling like a king and then two hours later someone will address me and my breath will catch and my eyes will water and then I'm left battling my body trying to banish this feeling of weakness/embarrassment/inadequacy.
Feeling some differences in regards to handling failure with women. My inner voice is piping up and saying "whatever man, you're getting better every day and you'll be a demi-god by the end of the run". And I believe it because I will.
Into Stage 4 now. I don't know if this is working? I did the speaker test and passed but I'm paranoid that they're not correct. I plan to buy new speakers for my second run just to make sure.
I had a short fling with a girl. I don't know if this would have happened in the past. Older me would not have wanted to be in that position of initial discomfort and embarrassment, but current me pushed through and got laid. Everything seemed to be going well with the girl until abruptly flaking on me and then cutting all contact. Feeling pretty sad about it because looking back I have no beta or cringe worthy moments to regret.
I'm just going to try to move on from this as quick as possible. I plan to day approach this weekend because after tasting female intimacy for the first time in a while, I need more of it. I can feel an empty feeling in my chest. I actually felt the moment when the girl disconnected from me. Like a twig snapping where my heart chakra would be.
I was also flooded with a bitter, black rage. Not intense, but a low simmer. I channelled it into training tonight and it has subsided for good I can tell.
Besides that, I still feel beta in certain moments of basic 1 on 1 interaction but otherwise my entire perspective on life and where I'm going and what I need to do to improve is quite powerful. At least in relation to my peers. I've always had a sense of destiny and divine fate and this sub has strengthened those beliefs. I have a very clear vision of the next 10 years and I know I will succeed and accomplish many things that will surprise even myself.
I feel like I'm an incomplete circle and when I finally close that loop, I can begin increasing the density and glow of it.
Quote:I can feel an empty feeling in my chest
Interesting, because that feeling is what i've identified as a core issue for me. That emptiness there and i've always tried to fill it up with girls/approval/whatever. I've been doing alot of work on it.
UPDATE:
Ok so even if my bedroom speakers aren't working, I believe that worst case scenario I am still getting effects from the living room ones.
My speakers did pass the audio test and they show at 17.5k on frequensee, but I still have my doubts due to lingering anxiety and moments of failing to assert myself. I'm only stage 4 though, so perhaps it takes multiple
complete runs of this to really reap the benefits.
However despite my imperfections, truly I am doing quite well. My peers have described me as "bold" and "brave" on two recent occasions. I actually blushed, as I felt unworthy of such praise. There is also a growing aura of not taking shit, as I've begun challenging disrespect that is thrown my way.
I believe that this sub helps put your life into perspective. Or maybe I'm just reaching the culmination of years of progress, and now find myself the man I wanted to be. Now that I am that man, I of course have a vision of an even better one that I will ascend too next.
I had a girl over last night and she kept bringing up how dominant I was. Saying that I do it right, unlike other guys. Immediately I thought of this sub and a couple sites I lurk that touch on inter-gender dynamics. The dominance over her felt natural though, it was not like I was following a playbook. The lessons seem to be internalizing now.
I'm also doing nofap and it's been great. I started off the year with a 27 day streak before relapsing for a week. Now I'm on day 32 and feeling excellent. I must never return to my fapping ways for the rest of my life. I feel so much more pure and alive now with my streaks of abstinence.
(02-24-2016, 03:58 PM)Benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Quote:I can feel an empty feeling in my chest
Interesting, because that feeling is what i've identified as a core issue for me. That emptiness there and i've always tried to fill it up with girls/approval/whatever. I've been doing alot of work on it.
Yeah man, I hear you. I believe, for me at least, that it is a lack of purpose that leaves the hole.
There's a good reason you need to finish the run. It's not finished being input until you do. You wouldn't judge a video half way through it, so why try to judge yourself until you have finished a complete run? In the building stage,
you're not done yet.
That said, multiple runs is usually a good idea.
(03-07-2016, 09:38 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]There's a good reason you need to finish the run. It's not finished being input until you do. You wouldn't judge a video half way through it, so why try to judge yourself until you have finished a complete run? In the building stage, you're not done yet.
That said, multiple runs is usually a good idea.
Indeed. I am now finally feeling the effects of your program. My raw confidence is at an all time high.
I am superstitious about going into detail right now as my current life situation is almost surreal, but I will give a lengthy, in-depth report upon completion.
Ok so small update. I recently fucked up a 75 day NoFap streak. Super disappointing! Basically I've been getting my dick hard and letting it soften as an exercise, but let's be real, there was probably some entity possessing me so it could feed off my energy release. No but actually it was a minor slip up and I'm stoked to rack up another fat streak. I have to credit this program for greatly improving my ability to abstain from masturbation. Prior to AM, no fap was a huge struggle, but with my past streak it was only the first week that was a grind. Even now, 15 hours after relapse, I don't feel a desire to binge fap which is a first.
Other changes:
-I've started taking Kratom every day and it makes my mornings beautiful. I don't want to up the dosage yet as I'm content with just starting my day energized and then tapering off to my baseline for the evening.
-Trying a plant based vegan diet. This is my second go at this, but this time NO PROCESSED FOODS. I would say the biggest difference so far is an increase in mood! I often find myself very happy and grateful for the things in my life. I can just be sitting somewhere and then my mind will wander to positive things and I'll become excited.
-Taking a smarter approach to lifting and listening to my body more. Less ego, more focus on longevity.
-Feeling very confident to go and do things. More than any other period in my life.
There's some other things but I'll leave those until after I'm done Stage 6 which is another 31 days.
Starting my second run and I went and bought new speakers that are confirmed 20khz frq rr.
Total score: 8.8 (will likely increase it after I finish my 2nd run)
Was it worth the big price tag? Yes
Did it do everything it claimed? No but you can feel the building blocks leading up to those claims being laid down.
Did it change you? Yes, in the sense that it helps bring out the stronger elements in yourself that you know you're capable of
Examples of changes brought on by the program:
-NoFap master. Literally fapped once in the last 108 days and feel zero urges
-Perform at a higher level in party atmospheres
-Find myself able to enjoy simple things for the first time in my life
-Not supremely confident but certainly getting there
-Still have social anxiety but it is significantly reduced and I believe will be fully gone after another run
-Desire to be adventurous and explore
-Desire to be more independent
-Much more comfortable being alone and handling things myself
-Have big plans for this summer that would have seemed unfathomable to my younger self that started this program back in November.
-Happy with my age, the things I've done, and where I'm going
I could go on but I'm still superstitious about sharing all the glorious things that have happened.
Update:
Almost done Stage 1 (round 2)
I've acquired speakers with confirmed 20 freq response and positioned them correctly (something I failed to do right during the first run). I'm also playing the masked tracks on my living room speakers instead of the ultra sonic because I can't confirm if their response range was high enough. Now I can truly and optimally absorb this program into my being. I actually feel significant progress this past month since making these changes.
The social anxiety continues to fade. There is simply no room for it since many of my interactions are objective based. However, even in casual settings I find myself more engaging and friendly when it comes to chit chat.
I've been getting more things done too. I had a long list of to do's that I've knocked off pretty hard the past month after procrastinating it for half a year.
Other notable things:
-Won a gold medal in competition
-Travelling out of country for a few weeks
-Moving out of parents home
-Able to cook myself quick, nutritious, macro hitting meals
-Been taking cold showers for 4 months
-Less fear, more determination
-Masturbated once in the last 3 months
-For first time in my life, actually able to sit down and study for hour(s)
-Grew out a beard
-Performing facial exercises to improve aesthetics (they actually work)
etc. etc.
I'll update with more highlights next month