Subliminal Talk

-Day 22-

So I spoke to this girl who's been stalking me on and off for about 5-6 years. Not to go into too much detail but she claims I sexually abused her and she wants me to say sorry for all the years of misery she has endured since, she also blames me completely for "taking advantage" of her.

To sum up the story - She messages me on facebook saying hey I wanna have sex, so I said sure I'll come round on friday. On friday I ride over to her house on the motorbike and she comes outside and says "I was joking" So I'm kinda pissed off and am like "well fuck this" and ride off and go have a cig in town, I get a text later saying "Hey, you can come back if you want, I was just trying to see if you past the test" or something along these lines. So being stupid and naive I go back and we start kissing and I go down on her etc. etc. I asked her several times if she felt ok with this because she had never done this before, she said yes. I couldn't get it up cause I was addicted to porn and felt awkward about the situation(In hindsight, maybe this was a goddamn blessing). So I was pretty embarrassed. Next thing I know she's spread rumors to her friends and acquaintances that I raped her and I start getting people asking me all sorts of questions.

Anyways I spoke to her on twitter chat and it's been cleared up, I don't want any trouble with the law or some shit (I've had friends who've been wrongly accused) cause I don't have any of the texts she sent me that would be evidence incase it got bad but I stated at the end that I wanted her to leave me the fuck alone and never talk to me again.

Feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but I'm not letting my guard down just yet because I know she's a fucking crazy person.

Anyways, enough about that.

I'm really enjoying the gym at the moment, just love working out and checking out all the hot girls and laughing to myself when I see them blush because I caught them staring

I'm thinking of running SM 3 or WM 2 in 3 months time, not necessarily to fuck loads of girls but I'm actually curious to see if it helps me recover from porn use and refocuses my body/mind onto real women also I want to become more comfortable with my own sexuality which is also why I'm doing nofap and I'm not looking at porn anymore.

My goal isn't really to become a guy who fucks loads and loads of women, but I'm thinking more along the lines of a small group of 2-3 chicks who I could fuck on a weekly basis you know? anyways that's a long long way away but I find it's good to have visions and ideas for the future. I'll leave all of that in the background until I start SM3/WM2.

I've started realizing I have alot of guilt that has been bottled up away in my soul and I'm starting to just let it go slowly, I just want this sub to keep clearing as much as possible as my mind is definitely up for it, this is the right path for me at the moment.

Stay tuned!

(02-21-2016, 04:04 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-21-2016, 01:51 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-21-2016, 01:19 PM)RTBoss Wrote: [ -> ]I'm a Scorpio moon, and Scorpio just runs my internal life and world. I have to be extremely vigilant or emotional darkness takes over. Mindful optimism, gratitude, and positivity are essential to good emotional health. Totally get the gift. I feel like a can see straight through everyone to the core of their soul. I can see what they can't.

The main trait for me personally with being a scorpio is just looking at people seems to intimidate and unsettle the shit out of them (unless they are pretty self actualized) now this is good if there's some bullies or dick heads who want to rob you but it sucks when other normal people get scared when you just want to be friendly etc. :/ ever feel like you're just misread?

keep your chin up stay positive is key to counter balance this I find

Well you're Scorpio rising to boot, so that's the face you show to the world. I can see where people would get the intimidation. If I were to run across you in RL, I'd get you immediately. I love Scorpios. I don't experience what you do, as my Scorpio nature is hidden behind Virgo rising... So I come across as steadfast, loyal, calm, and professional. Then I'm Aquarius Sun, so it's just a crazy mixture. Usually people thnk my ideas are either profound or in outer space, lol.

No I'm actually Cancer rising but Scorpio is my sun, so I actually show the world my cancer side. But I think my Scorpio element still shines through pretty obviously even when interacting with everyday people on the surface.

@dissonance Here's a good website that'll tell you all you need to know about astrology and your personal signs etc. http://www.astrotheme.com/horoscope_char...endant.php

(02-22-2016, 09:53 AM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]No I'm actually Cancer rising but Scorpio is my sun, so I actually show the world my cancer side. But I think my Scorpio element still shines through pretty obviously even when interacting with everyday people on the surface.

Oh, right! That was Sickologist with the Scorpio rising, sorry!

That bitch needs a right cross.. I fucking hate craziness like that. I wouldn't have even bothered talking to her again personally, it just opens it up for more of her mentalness.

Yeah that girl is trouble. Best advice is to cut off all contact, you gotta be careful with girls like that

Yup you guys are right on the money, I've blocked her so that's the end of that.

(02-22-2016, 05:02 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]Yup you guys are right on the money, I've blocked her so that's the end of that.

What happened to the messages

(02-22-2016, 05:48 PM)Hercules Wrote: [ -> ]

(02-22-2016, 05:02 PM)AlphaScorpio Wrote: [ -> ]Yup you guys are right on the money, I've blocked her so that's the end of that.

What happened to the messages

We've already talked, the messages will be saved on my twitter account I assume

Just tape the bitch next time you fuck her than you have evidence that prooves you are not guilty

it wouldn't be usable as evidence in a court of law (in the USA) UNLESS she knows she's being recorded

(02-22-2016, 10:14 PM)eternitys_child Wrote: [ -> ]it wouldn't be usable as evidence in a court of law (in the USA) UNLESS she knows she's being recorded

wow that's crazy.

(02-21-2016, 01:07 PM)Sickologist Wrote: [ -> ]"you have an exceptional intuitive ability to analyse an emotional problem and nail it on the head"

^^
That's interesting because that's how people usually describe me and I leave people flabbergasted by my observations. The question is, how will you use it?

I take it you're a scorpio, so am I, also a scorpio rising. There's definitely something in it. I used to be reserved and untrusting, but when I decided to not give a shit anymore about what people thought of me and my expressions, I felt completely free.

Most people will not get you, they will not understand your thought processes, but know that you have this rare gift. If you express it freely, you'll understand just how powerful and magnetic your personality really is, even if it doesn't feel like it right now. Never should you try to "fit in".

The goal is to be comfortable with what most people are uncomfortable with, you know why this girl is stalking you and why should you hold back from confronting her about it? You know on the inside how to handle you parents, why aren't you doing it?

I get you, not easy to be a freak of human nature, but nonetheless, this disgusting world need us. Escapism doesn't change jack shit.

I'm a scorpio sun with a scorpio rising (and mercury in scorpio too) so I know exactly what you're talking about. Also going through the "not giving a shit" phase right now and feeling so free. I feel like I have a ton more energy now when not wasting them on obsessive negative thoughts about other people. But I still can't get over how people are so easily intimidated by me when I just want to be friendly (I have moon in libra so that makes me very sad)...any advice?

@AlphaScorpio, yeah she's crazy, but these experiences are valuable. Now it will be easier to spot craziness. If a girl text you, "want to have sex", screws with your mind and you still talk to her, it's essential to be mindful of what kind of signals you put out there, get what I mean? You are entirely responsible for setting the boundaries and making the rules.

@cashmerecat, Wow, I also have libra moon which I find to be the perfect thing for me. It makes me react to situations in a calm and rational matter, even if I'm the most subjective person on the planet. Who are those people and do you really need them? I have a few friends and it's no shocker that they're all water signs. They're the only people that are good for me, especially pisces. Scorpio sees the bad in people, while pisces sees the good. I can't stand earth and air signs, aries and leo are okay though as they don't get in my way. So that's the most important thing for me, water signs need each other. They understand my particular needs, preferences and tastes without having to shout it out. I made that shift from wondering if people like me to only caring about if I like them.

Secondly, just put yourself on display. I've realised lately that people cannot hurt me, even if I wear my soul on my sleeves they're too blind to see. Other than that, I measure success not by how many people who love me, but how many who hates me.

At last, channel your obsession into something useful. Whether you become a detective, psychologist, shaman or an artist, just aim to master it. Because I'm an artist, I go through heaven and hell in my mind, get the ink down and forget about it later.

(02-24-2016, 05:07 AM)Sickologist Wrote: [ -> ]I can't stand earth and air signs, aries and leo are okay though as they don't get in my way. So that's the most important thing for me, water signs need each other. They understand my particular needs, preferences and tastes without having to shout it out. I made that shift from wondering if people like me to only caring about if I like them.

You'd be surprised. I bet we'd get along - maybe not be best friends, but I'm Aquarius Sun/Scorpio Moon/Virgo Rising. I'm sure that my Virgo/Scorpio would come through enough for you that if we were to meet and you asked my sign, and I said Aquarius, after some time you'd be like, "How the fuck are you Aquarius?!" :-) Those other signs are important - even more so than Sun, IMO.

I also believe that Scorpios can see good where others can't - like when someone puts up a tough "front," but they're really good people on the inside and are just trying to appear tough...you can see it easily. At least my Scorpio moon can. A person's attitude makes a difference, too. Optimistic, positive, happy Scorpio vs. Dark, brooding, negative Scorpio.

Pardon the continued derail, this stuff gets me all excited.