haha I was supposed to see this girl the other weekend and she messaged to say a family thing came up on one of the days. So I suggested the other day and she didn't reply back until a few days into the week. No apology, just acknowledged it. I expect an apology, I don't care if it's as simple as 'whoops blah blah'. She said she would be free the following weekend. I lost interest and forgot to reply so sen a message the other night after a few drinks. I just said it was cool, and that I would just see her at the next house party. When I read the message this morning I thought it was a bit blunt but I'm now realising it was just direct and clear. Oh, and I hoped she had a good weekend.
Anyway, she replied, told me all about her weekend, asked about mine lol.
It's nice to close things off. I use to be really bad at always leaving doors open, options open etc. If I got a girls number and she didn't reply or blew me off I'd leave the number there. Now I delete the number unless I know i'm going to see her again where it would be awkward. Same goes for plans.
(06-28-2015, 02:19 AM)Andarras Wrote: [ -> ]haha I was talking more about physical touchy-feely. That is my core, I truly deep down love the connection that comes from touching a woman. It feels restricting to not touch them. But I don't, usually until anywhere from 5-15 minutes into the conversation when I realise I haven't touched them in ages and I better do something otherwise I'm going to get myself friend-zoned. I need to start practicing. Even just something as simple as moving in close to hear her (loud venue) then not returning to my spot. Although it would be better to move in against her shoulder so you're not right directly in her face.
Haha, my bad. :-) Anyway though, about the physical touchy-feely, reading these words, the first impress is of a conditioned fear. In particular, "I better do something otherwise I'm going to get myself friend-zoned." I can't advocate for or against it, to be honest, I don't have enough experience to take a stand here, but I am pretty sure that if you let it go of this, for the lack of better word, lets call it, fear. If you let go of this fear, you might start touching girls. Not because you need to do it, just because its fun to do so.
(06-28-2015, 02:19 AM)Andarras Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for the reminder on writing. I did start daily journaling but stopped. I also have some of the belief finding and removing stuff like Lefkoe, Option Method, etc. I just haven't used them in a while. For some reason they seem too simple. Like I have a belief and I answer some questions. That's all they are. So at the end I expect fireworks. If I don't get fireworks (a sense of the belief shifting or changing) then I don't believe in it. Am I looking at those processes wrong? Are they more powerful than I give them credit?
I wouldn't say they are more or less powerful, it is subjective to each individual. If you tell me if I have to answer some questions around my belief, that will too mundane for me too. To each his own. I am sure you will find what suits you.
Pretty interested in this concept for a belief-change process I collated today. It started with a very quick thought that i jotted down before I went out last night. Basically I have a choice I make which is not supporting me. I then identify the beliefs, list examples where the choice hasn't supported me, and where doing the opposite has. I then come up with a bunch of smaller steps to bridge the gap between the choice and the holy grail choice. I then list a bunch of choice affirmations such as 'I choose to focus on myself first in all choices I make'.
There can be different levels for that last part. Mine is that I don't touch women when I first meet them. My choice points are to aim to touch a girl within the first 60 seconds of meeting her (hand shake excluded) and to let the touch linger, even if it's just holding her hand for a couple of seconds longer. Just doing that alone turns up the intensity. A Level 2 choice step might be to move in closer when I can't hear her, put my hand on her lower back and leave it there. So it's a bit like baby-step conditioning.
hmmm so I decided to the run the initial scribbled outline of my change process concept for a test. Really interesting result actually. I was walking in the street and decided to use a new choice statement. I think it was something like owning my intent when I look at a beautiful woman. I felt really odd because suddenly I was getting so many women looking back. Way too much of a coincidence, and normally they don't return the look. Either by choice or they are too wrapped up in their own world. One cute girl was walking past as I glanced at her then she looked at me out of the corner of her eyes which means she sensed my gaze even though she wasn't looking at me.
I actually had this little laughable thought that maybe my hair was messy or something stupid like that. Although funny enough I got no attention on the bus ride home. It was literally the five minutes of walking at lunch time to get my food.
Question for you guys. Is it normal to lose interest when a girl online doesn't ask any questions? I was messaging this girl ages ago and then she left the site. Came back, saw me and sent me a message asking how I was. I replied, she replied but didn't ask any questions. She did say that what I I've been up to sounds interesting.
I think the thing is I dislike chasing. I expect the girl to meet me at a somewhat similar level of involvement. If I ask questions and the response has no questions I tend to lose interest. If I meet a girl socially and then later she's showing interest in another guy I'll step down. Not from a place of losing or giving up, but I lose interest in the girl. It feels demeaning to me to 'try' in the sense of trying to one-up another guy for instance.
In that above example I feel like I should be dominant, but I'd be competing with a guy who can talk so much shit haha.
(06-29-2015, 04:35 AM)Andarras Wrote: [ -> ]Question for you guys. Is it normal to lose interest when a girl online doesn't ask any questions? I was messaging this girl ages ago and then she left the site. Came back, saw me and sent me a message asking how I was. I replied, she replied but didn't ask any questions. She did say that what I I've been up to sounds interesting.
I think the thing is I dislike chasing. I expect the girl to meet me at a somewhat similar level of involvement. If I ask questions and the response has no questions I tend to lose interest. If I meet a girl socially and then later she's showing interest in another guy I'll step down. Not from a place of losing or giving up, but I lose interest in the girl. It feels demeaning to me to 'try' in the sense of trying to one-up another guy for instance.
In that above example I feel like I should be dominant, but I'd be competing with a guy who can talk so much shit haha.
I have a lot of experience online with girls. And in my experience, conversation based upon questions is the most boring of the all. The trick is to make an observation about her to spin the wheels, "I feel that you are a kind of a girl that would want to have one solid friend rather than dozens of fragile friends." If she shared something with you about her or about what she is up to. You can give your point of view about it. Tease her, make a statement about it and ask a question. Investing is pretty important in a conversation. Consider for instance, "Oh, that sounds fun!" Vs, "Oh, that sounds fun, but if I was there with you, I'd have never let you do it!" It doesn't matter she lost interest or not, it can just as easily be build up if you are having genuine fun.
I dislike chasing too, for the matter of fact, I never used to message a girl first, never. It does two things, it takes away the doubts, does she likes me or not? And, you get to maintain your frame.
It seems to happen alot, stupid short answers, or they don't ask something back or just randomly stop answering. And less attractive girls act like this online too.
Especially since approaching a fair bit lately i'm seeing that girls react completely different online, like the way I approach girls for real gets good reactions but the same thing online gets nothing.
I wonder if some of it is because i'm in a small town also. I keep going back to online because there isn't a huge amount of opportunities here. Though as I get better with approaching more opportunities will open up, but unfortunately I can't go out and have literally hundreds of girls walking past to approach like in a city so usually it's one or two in an outing I can do.
haha yeah I think it's the abundance mentality. They probably get at least a dozen messages a day, and so they literally don't need to put too much effort in. The girl I was referring to messaged me back and asked nothing about me. Basically a nice statement with absolutely no hook. She then replied and asked me how my day was lol. I'll give her another chance.
I sometimes get girls who reply back with no question or anything. I usually reply but I know they're message is because mine made them feel good, and they want to acknowledge that but aren't interested.
I've decided to focus on my weight a bit more. As in gaining. I'm a little underweight, not interested in hitting up the gym. Currently shifting some stuff in my 'diet'. I don't like cooking for one, and am trying to save money, lots of money. Been eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch and dinner for a couple of months. Every second night I will have an Aldi 2-minute meal. Most of them taste amazing, only $3 and about 650 calories. A bowl of veggies with some sauce at least 4-5 nights a week. I've got this cool app that actually tells me roughly how much weight I'll lose or gain based on how many calories under/over my daily goal I am, plus it can scan most barcodes.
Decided to change my style back. Well hair style. I like wearing a nice blazer but I had long hair which unfortunately, long hair in my family is prone to get greasy. So today off with the hair, back to short and spiky. I think it actually suits me, although I like it with a little bit of length, just enough to rough it up with some gel. Funny thing, as soon as I got my hair cut I felt really alpha, like really powerful. When I looked in the mirror it actually fel like when you look at a very alpha guy in a movie. I've had this look before and never felt like that.
Something definitely feels like it's shifting. I feel like I'm developing this 'I don't give a shit' attitude. In a good way. Is this something you guys experienced in the subs? Or maybe it's to do with the choice stuff I created.
Oh, I did have something really weird happen today. It could be my imagination though. Has anyone seen the movie Inception? I watched the first hour last night and was really taken by the idea of all the people in the dream turning on someone or something that changes the dream. Anyway, that could be why I felt this way. But today when I was getting my hair cut it literally seemed like everyone was walking in front of me. I'd be walking and someone would seemingly veer in front of me. One guy in front of me walking same direction suddenly moves in front of me but there was nothing for him to avoid. It was only 3pm not like a lunch rush or anything. 25 minutes later after my hair cut nothing happened. Can the subconscious literally be afraid, or sense, a defining moment? Maybe that was why I felt so powerful when I looked in the mirror. I'd forgotten all about that incident until just now.
I think a couple of women glanced at me today. Oh, I do recall one youngish girl gave me a strange look when I glanced at her and held it. I wasn't really fazed, but also felt god about it, strangely enough. I couldn't put my finger on why I felt good about a not-so-good response but as I was typing I think I caught the edge of it. It's like I'd rather live my life, and upset one or two people along the way, than let life lead me.
Also, I don't know if it's my subconscious trying to cling on to its last bit of control, but this thought pops into my head, more of a question. Are women attracted to the powerful man, or are they attracted to a man who is powerful but also soft? When I see couples I don't often see powerful alpha males, yet for the most part a lot of relationships are strong.
It definitely feels like I'm on the right path with the subs and the choice stuff I'm doing.
I also imagined going really deep down in a lift into my subconscious and being taken to a room with an ornate chest (similar to the concept from Inception). I imagined all the negative beliefs and everything associated with a particular belief were in this chest. It was interesting, because whoever was taking me there kept asking me if I was sure. I took some papers out of the chest, and then took them to a room with a massive fire where they were burnt. Might try that again, can't hurt
I've decided to get back into the Inner Family Systems stuff. It's pretty powerful, but I think I shied away from it out of fear. I did the practice once and I have to say I actually seemed to act differently. I don't think it will impact with the subs. It's a process where you essentially learn about a pattern you have, such as Intimacy-Avoidance, then you go through some questions and eventually you pick a situation that's coming up where you want to act from a more empowered you and you do a kind of visualisation where you go back and talk to and support the younger part of yourself that's creating this negative pattern. You set up how you're going to act in the future situation and get this parts approval.
I don't think that will have an impact on the subs. I will probably only do the process once a week or so anyway.
Little bit frustrated when I got home as I was advised my issue with the IFS system (Inner Family System) should be rectified. It wasn't.
Today was a pretty good day overall. I'm becoming more in tune with women's energy/vibes I think. Every now and then I'll get a jolt of awareness in my body and look around me. Make eye contact with a woman who instantly smiles. It's like I'm sensing them or sensing them sensing me if that makes sense. I was walking towards my Qigong class and started noticing awesome sensations in my body and then just kind of letting them expand. Think some woman noticed that as well.
That strange phenomenon of people constantly getting in my way happened again. It's strange because I've never sensed people 'moving' in my way. Normally if I'm in a hurry it's more like they get in my way.
Met a really cute girl at Qigong class. We connected immediately. Chatting and laughing about stuff before class. At the end she kind of slid up beside me and shook my hand and said it was good meeting me. But she almost whispered it. So I asked her if I could connect on facebook and she got really nervous. She said yes but I could sense that she wasn't keen. She apologised and said she's really hesitant about adding people and that maybe sometime in the future. I didn't get the vibe that it was about me at all.
Oh yeah, I was standing at the lights on the way to the class, feeling damn good, and I glance at this woman next to me who's talking with her friends. She glanced back at me and I'm pretty sure she stopped what she was saying mid sentence haha.
I just realised too, I have a 7 day seminar coming up in about a weeks time so I'll only be getting about 7-8 hours a day for those days so I'm making sure to ramp up the days before to make up for the difference. I should stil average 13 hours per day by the end of Phase 2 so all good.
Women love adding guys on facebook unless they like you and they have a boyfriend. Suggest you ask her out for a quick drink instead and/or over to yours to practice some qi gong.
Alright! Finally got my access to the IFS website and just did my first session. Felt really good. Essentially it converts the 'negative' element and 'positive' element into entities so you can communicate with them. Then you kind of negotiate with the negative one (which is really a positive because all limiting behaviour has a positive purpose).
Diet-wise, I'm finding ways to increase my calories while also keeping costs reasonably low. I realised that eating lots of bread was busting my sodium intake. 10 slices of bread is pretty much the RDI in sodium done. Because I'm staying away from dairy I was limited. But I discovered the concept of bircher muesli. Essentially just oats soaked overnight in a liquid. Water, coconut water, juice, etc. I'm trying out the apple juice with two tablespoons of jam on top. 90g of oats plus juice and jam comes out at 500 calories.
I'm interested how IFS goes for you. I stopped with the book and that because it seemed complex, but I did find the site recently and thought it would probably simplify and guide me through the process and have considered trying it.
Though as with EFT I do wonder how it would effect AM6.