07-18-2014, 08:01 PM
It was a dark and stormy night. Just kidding. It was a sunny day on June 28th when I decided to try out Absolute Self Confidence. I had a lot of major concerns about trying it out, mostly the fear that I would listen to it for a while and it would work in some crazy demented way and I'd end up being some Tucker Max meets AC/DC nut who had lost all remnants of his previous personality.
After a lot of reading this forum it seemed like most people that tried out the subs weren't turning into completely different people, so I laid that fear to rest and tried it out. (I'll admit, I still get nervous about the idea of trying out Alpha Male 6 for the same reason - that fear that it will remove some crucial flaw in my personality that makes me who I am). But I digress.
ASC is amazing. I've been on it since June 28th, which means it has been three weeks since I started. I want to document as many of the changes as I can remember right now because I'm afraid that if I don't I'll forget them. I plan on updating this some more as I experience more changes.
First, maybe the first or second day after trying it out I felt bigger. It was the strangest sensation and so subtle that I could tell it was a shifting in my subconscious. I went into the bathroom, saw myself in the mirror and just thought - wow, you seem larger. It was like the whole world had gotten a little smaller in perspective. I spent some time thinking on this and realized that as far back as I can recall I've had this absurdly small self image. I'm 5 foot 10 inches, which is basically the average of all men in America. But in some way I've always seen myself as being smaller than other people. Very cool change.
Girls smile, giggle, get nervous, and flirt with me all the time. I can admit that this happened some beforehand, but it happens more now. It's frequently complete strangers, girls that I've never seen before that just lock eyes with me and smile etc. Lots of experiences like this, tons if I actually look for them.
I have had a lot of crazy dreams. Most dreams fall in the category of girls being interested in me and me being confident in approaching them. However, some dreams fall into a much different category. These are dreams where I act like a wimpy little coward and fail miserably at tasks. The most memorable of these dreams involved me accidentally stealing a sandwich (I forgot to pay) and I didn't realize I had forgotten to pay until I was in the parking lot. At this point I was too scared to go back so I kept walking until an employee pointed to me and yelled. Then security came and they dragged me inside and I was crying and apologizing and just being a complete twerp. This girl said the weirdest thing, she said, "I know guys like you. You're those confident guys that think they can get away with anything." And I swore that I wasn't one of those guys. She gave me this odd, quizzical look and said, "Really? I must have mistaken you then."
The next morning it took me about an hour to piece all of those parts of the dream together, at which point I started to realize it was resistance. A part of my subconscious denying that this was an accurate description of who I am. Very interesting, and more self-proof that this sub is authentic. I've had a bazillion more dreams like that but I will try to spare this journal of Sylvia Plath inspired interpretations of what I do when I sleep. Trying to stick to actual things that have changed.
NEXT, my work life has changed. I'm a writer and I work from my laptop. My boss is a hysterical Russian who cannot keep himself organized, is perpetually in a panic, and calls me around the clock to desperately reiterate the same point until we've both talked in circles about it. It's ridiculous. Our work dynamic, however, has completely shifted in the last couple of weeks.
1. If he says something snotty (common), I immediately refute it or call him out on it. He apologizes, admits he's exaggerating etc. He never stands by his snide remarks as he knows they're just figments of his imagination he uses to further his passive aggressive goals.
2. When he gets upset that I did something wrong (and I didn't), I calmly refute what he said. For instance yesterday he replied to an email from earlier the week, accusing me of being behind on a deadline he had told me about. I responded with a screenshot of his text message telling me to postpone it. The old pre-ASC me would pace in my room, upset, and then apologize while passively being angry because I knew he had told me to postpone it.
It is that second point that has become a recurring theme in my life since starting ASC. In the past when bad things happened to me I took them like the wimpy, self absorbed and fearful child that I was. In the last three weeks I've developed this strong sense of assertive calmness. If my boss complains about something, I respond appropriately. I no longer fear him or care what he thinks about me.
I think that Shannon said something in the sales copy for ASC about people not realizing how important confidence is when they don't have it. I absolutely fit this category. I thought I was a fine human being, just a little curious what this sub could do for me. I now realize that I have let people walk all over me and never once did I think to myself, "hey, that isn't fair" instead I worried about how I would avoid getting in trouble. My entire life was framed around avoiding punishment; now I feel like I'm in control.
After a lot of reading this forum it seemed like most people that tried out the subs weren't turning into completely different people, so I laid that fear to rest and tried it out. (I'll admit, I still get nervous about the idea of trying out Alpha Male 6 for the same reason - that fear that it will remove some crucial flaw in my personality that makes me who I am). But I digress.
ASC is amazing. I've been on it since June 28th, which means it has been three weeks since I started. I want to document as many of the changes as I can remember right now because I'm afraid that if I don't I'll forget them. I plan on updating this some more as I experience more changes.
First, maybe the first or second day after trying it out I felt bigger. It was the strangest sensation and so subtle that I could tell it was a shifting in my subconscious. I went into the bathroom, saw myself in the mirror and just thought - wow, you seem larger. It was like the whole world had gotten a little smaller in perspective. I spent some time thinking on this and realized that as far back as I can recall I've had this absurdly small self image. I'm 5 foot 10 inches, which is basically the average of all men in America. But in some way I've always seen myself as being smaller than other people. Very cool change.
Girls smile, giggle, get nervous, and flirt with me all the time. I can admit that this happened some beforehand, but it happens more now. It's frequently complete strangers, girls that I've never seen before that just lock eyes with me and smile etc. Lots of experiences like this, tons if I actually look for them.
I have had a lot of crazy dreams. Most dreams fall in the category of girls being interested in me and me being confident in approaching them. However, some dreams fall into a much different category. These are dreams where I act like a wimpy little coward and fail miserably at tasks. The most memorable of these dreams involved me accidentally stealing a sandwich (I forgot to pay) and I didn't realize I had forgotten to pay until I was in the parking lot. At this point I was too scared to go back so I kept walking until an employee pointed to me and yelled. Then security came and they dragged me inside and I was crying and apologizing and just being a complete twerp. This girl said the weirdest thing, she said, "I know guys like you. You're those confident guys that think they can get away with anything." And I swore that I wasn't one of those guys. She gave me this odd, quizzical look and said, "Really? I must have mistaken you then."
The next morning it took me about an hour to piece all of those parts of the dream together, at which point I started to realize it was resistance. A part of my subconscious denying that this was an accurate description of who I am. Very interesting, and more self-proof that this sub is authentic. I've had a bazillion more dreams like that but I will try to spare this journal of Sylvia Plath inspired interpretations of what I do when I sleep. Trying to stick to actual things that have changed.
NEXT, my work life has changed. I'm a writer and I work from my laptop. My boss is a hysterical Russian who cannot keep himself organized, is perpetually in a panic, and calls me around the clock to desperately reiterate the same point until we've both talked in circles about it. It's ridiculous. Our work dynamic, however, has completely shifted in the last couple of weeks.
1. If he says something snotty (common), I immediately refute it or call him out on it. He apologizes, admits he's exaggerating etc. He never stands by his snide remarks as he knows they're just figments of his imagination he uses to further his passive aggressive goals.
2. When he gets upset that I did something wrong (and I didn't), I calmly refute what he said. For instance yesterday he replied to an email from earlier the week, accusing me of being behind on a deadline he had told me about. I responded with a screenshot of his text message telling me to postpone it. The old pre-ASC me would pace in my room, upset, and then apologize while passively being angry because I knew he had told me to postpone it.
It is that second point that has become a recurring theme in my life since starting ASC. In the past when bad things happened to me I took them like the wimpy, self absorbed and fearful child that I was. In the last three weeks I've developed this strong sense of assertive calmness. If my boss complains about something, I respond appropriately. I no longer fear him or care what he thinks about me.
I think that Shannon said something in the sales copy for ASC about people not realizing how important confidence is when they don't have it. I absolutely fit this category. I thought I was a fine human being, just a little curious what this sub could do for me. I now realize that I have let people walk all over me and never once did I think to myself, "hey, that isn't fair" instead I worried about how I would avoid getting in trouble. My entire life was framed around avoiding punishment; now I feel like I'm in control.
