07-17-2014, 09:12 AM
DAY 12:Today was tough, my toughest day yet with EPHRA. I felt so much hate towards everybody in the world, even my family. There was that spiral of thoughts that lead to that and I didn't like it one bit. I felt like I was stuck in life with no other way out than off the roof. I guess I have got myself a bit stuck, but I do know there are ways out other than the one my dad often promises to take.
That was some horrible pain that I put myself through. An absolutely shit day for me, 6-7 hour sleep at night probably didn't help. Toward the end of the day I started feeling better.
I want to get out, out from this house where nothing works and everyone thinks they're victims. I want to get to the point where I'm completely independent. I want to be free from feeling that slavery obligation.
Still considering between BASE and AM6: I am more thinking toward BASE, it has a better chance in helping me change my deeply installed "sidewalk" beliefs (reading The Millionaire Fastlane currently) and help me move toward financial freedom. Also if I will choose BASE, I will drop EPRHA since it's included in BASE.
EDIT: I just noticed that yesterday, on my 11th day, I made a post at 11:11. No clue what that means
Edit edit: After writing a post it's easier to create a deeper understanding of what really happened. I think what was happening today was that the programs tarted working on something deep and that's good.
The effect might really be amplified a lot by my tiredness, I was so tired the whole day today, 6-7 hours of sleep is not optimal with this sub. Monday is fine on 4-5hours and Tuesday on 6-7 hours, but the week catches up so I will need to get some sleep tonight. Probably why I haven't been able to catch any of my dreams either.
In addition I've been doing some FEFT for the past few days and I've seen some interesting results. Basically I lie down at night and start working on a random thing, like really, I take a completely random thing and start tapping. I've not really read about FEFT that much, but I think it's better since you're supposed to follow your intuition.
For example, I always have tension in my eyebrows when I'm sleeping on my back, like when you are absolutely angry you get that kind of tension and that makes it impossible to sleep on my back.
I started tapping, Im angry, i release and let it go, PEACE. Then kind of stayed observing at what thought comes up next and kept tapping on what ever came up, weather it seemed related or not. Then I felt like asking myself a question, When have I tried falling asleep on my back and feel angry? and then When has anything that made me angry stopped me from sleeping? All kind of memories started popping up, from when I was a kid and tried sleeping on my back and then something my dad did when he was drunk. After that I could sleep on my back.
I try to do 15 min of tapping during the evenings now when I'm not too tired, and it might be a contributing factor to my results with EPRHA.
That was some horrible pain that I put myself through. An absolutely shit day for me, 6-7 hour sleep at night probably didn't help. Toward the end of the day I started feeling better.
I want to get out, out from this house where nothing works and everyone thinks they're victims. I want to get to the point where I'm completely independent. I want to be free from feeling that slavery obligation.
Still considering between BASE and AM6: I am more thinking toward BASE, it has a better chance in helping me change my deeply installed "sidewalk" beliefs (reading The Millionaire Fastlane currently) and help me move toward financial freedom. Also if I will choose BASE, I will drop EPRHA since it's included in BASE.
EDIT: I just noticed that yesterday, on my 11th day, I made a post at 11:11. No clue what that means
Edit edit: After writing a post it's easier to create a deeper understanding of what really happened. I think what was happening today was that the programs tarted working on something deep and that's good.
The effect might really be amplified a lot by my tiredness, I was so tired the whole day today, 6-7 hours of sleep is not optimal with this sub. Monday is fine on 4-5hours and Tuesday on 6-7 hours, but the week catches up so I will need to get some sleep tonight. Probably why I haven't been able to catch any of my dreams either.
In addition I've been doing some FEFT for the past few days and I've seen some interesting results. Basically I lie down at night and start working on a random thing, like really, I take a completely random thing and start tapping. I've not really read about FEFT that much, but I think it's better since you're supposed to follow your intuition.
For example, I always have tension in my eyebrows when I'm sleeping on my back, like when you are absolutely angry you get that kind of tension and that makes it impossible to sleep on my back.
I started tapping, Im angry, i release and let it go, PEACE. Then kind of stayed observing at what thought comes up next and kept tapping on what ever came up, weather it seemed related or not. Then I felt like asking myself a question, When have I tried falling asleep on my back and feel angry? and then When has anything that made me angry stopped me from sleeping? All kind of memories started popping up, from when I was a kid and tried sleeping on my back and then something my dad did when he was drunk. After that I could sleep on my back.
I try to do 15 min of tapping during the evenings now when I'm not too tired, and it might be a contributing factor to my results with EPRHA.