Now it's more than 2 week I have been listening to stage 1. Here some experiences I had. On the first day I started listening at early morning and went to bed again. After a hour I felt asleep and had an Alphaman dream. There were women who made some effort just to be with me. And in this dream I felt really alpha. Later at night I again had a dream about a tv coach who tells the people how important masculinity is as a foundation for a man. This week I also had several dreams about women and sexuality.
One thing I noticed at begin was that my sex drive was incredibly high in the first three days. And listening to the subs made me at this time really peaceful, like I found my inner center. But after day 4/5 I began to be tired most time, but my mood was still ok.
In the second week my mood changed. I got a little bit angry and impatient (almost with myself) and slightly depressed as well. There came very much stuff to the surface. All the missed chances with women, just because I didn't do the things I should in these situation. Also some negative pattern. For example I tend to be very jealous. And even if I didn't really show it, I think people and especially women could sense it. I think many of these pattern (if not all) were there because of a deep insecurity in my abilities and - more important - in what I am. At the end of the second week I felt really tired and down and my sexdrive is really low.
The other things I notices in the last 2 weeks: Almost no desire to watch porn, I started do some sport, have got a slightly tendency to walk taller and speak louder, less desire for sweets and more to "real" food.
I managed it to listen 8 hours or more a day (some with about 12 hours) on the most days. But there were 3 days I listened just about 3 hours for some circumstances. I know the instructions tells you to add a day for every skipped day. Well, I didn't skip a day, but 3 days with 3 hours are about 2 days less of listening. Would it be ok to add one or two days?
Add the missed number of hours x 1.5, rounding up. You can spread them out if need be, or just add days.
Ok, thank you, I will do so.
Stage 1 is finished now. In the third week I felt really down. Like in the second week all the insecurities and missed chances came to the surface, but more intense than in the second week. Additional there were things in my life, which triggered the same things. Especially the things with women. That made the time really hard. Sleeping was bad all the week.
In the fourth week I still had some bad days but I felt better at all. At the good days I noticed there that women are looking more often at me than before. That gave me a little confidence boost at these days. I also realized how childish or creepy some things were I did and sometimes still do. I thought a lot about growing things out and asked myself how can I support or force it. At the end of the week it seemed like I lost a big amount of my needyness. In the past I was often interested in different women and different types of women. Now I think I confused needyness with genuine interest many times. And critics and hurtful statements from other doesn't hit me so much as before.
Lets summarize: What did AM6 Stage 1 for me? I think it did what it was supposed for. It cleared some negative emotions or lowered it at least. Therefore it made me more mature and less boyish/teeny-like. I looking forward for Stage 2.
Now week 1 of Stage 2 is almost over. Until now I really liked this stage. Especially in the first 2 days I got in the I-don't-care zone. I really liked it, because in the past I cared to much about what people think, say or expect. So it felt really free not to do it. Later the week I got angry about some people, I don't know the reason, but I think it has something to do that they weren't honest to me at some points. At this point I just didn't want to spend time with people at all.
Another things I noticed were: Got still many looks from women, people I don't know started talking to me for some reason and at least one women really flirted with me. It was a salesgirl in the city. Before I went to the checkout she started smiling at me and continued when I paid to my stuff. In that moment I wanted to leave she stopped me by asking a question about the bus schedule. I didn't know, because I don't live there, but as she works there I am pretty sure she knows about the schedule so I think she just doesn't wanted me to leave.
Another week on Stage 2 is over. At the begin of week 2 I had a strong anticipation against people. I just didn't want have people around me. This is now better. I still feel no need to spend time with others, but the anticipation is almost gone. Unfortunately my sexdrive is almost gone, too. I hope it gets better in the next weeks. Like at the begin at this stage I am very indifferent to people and what they say. So I feel more comfortable in social situations, because I don't care as much as I did.
It also lowered my needyness even more than stage 1. At stage 1 it was more general, stage 2 did even a good job on a special situation. It's about a woman I was interested in (now she is in a relationship). I still felt some needyness about her, but now it's almost gone, too. Maybe it contains something to let the past / the people go.
I still get looks from women. I saw some which I found hot and wanted to talk to them, but I didn't. I don't know if it's because my indifference and my low sexdrive or about some fears. Let's face week 3.
Now I am more than 3 weeks on Stage 2. In the third week I had 2 - 3 days where I felt more needy, was watching some porn and didn't felt very good at all. But after that period it disappeared again. I looks like I am more proactive about problems instead of waiting until someone different do something about it. And I am more willing to talk about more difficult topics. I always tried to avoid difficult discussions, because I wasn't very good here. But now if something is important enough for me I am more willing to go for it.
Some other things I noticed this week: I walk more upright and I can hold better eye contact than before. Last few nights I again had some dreams about women. In one of these dreams I was with a woman and wanted to establish more physical contact. As I tried she said that she is attracted to me, but I should stop to make the physical contact the way I do, because it make her feel less attracted, and she want to stay being attracted to me. I found that dream interesting.
Today I finished Stage 2 of AM6. I still experienced the positive effects of this stage. For example it's easier for me to establish and maintain eye contact. I even realized some of the inner changes I didn't noticed before. In the past when women were looking at me I often thought they looking at me because they find me strange. Now when they are looking at me I assume that they find me attractive! And I didn't even thought about it, I noticed it by accident. In the last three day I also had moments where I felt irresistible attractive. That's crazy, because in the past I not even felt attractive at all. So there are definitely some inner changes.
But in the last few days I even got easily angry about some things. There were again some situations where I had a presumption some people are hiding something from me. And their intentions were not positive. The point is, I really don't know if they do. Maybe they do, maybe not. Maybe there is even something different than I think. Jealousy was a topic as well. Hope Stage 3 let me handle the anger in a better way.
So let's summarize. What did Stage 2 bring to me?
- Less needyness
- Care less about what people think, do or want
- Feeling irresistibly attractive (at least sometimes, I am curious how it goes in future)
- Sometimes more aggression and impatience
- Better bodylanguage
- Sometimes I speak louder (without thinking about it)
Some of the points are for sure the effect of stage 1 & 2 together. I think caring less is the biggest point of stage 2 alone. Looking forward to Stage 3.
Almost two weeks of Stage 3 are over. This Stage is a tricky one. In the fist 10 days I didn't feel any changes so far. So whatsever happened in that time, it was under the radar.
In the last few days I felt more insecure and needy again. Maybe a sort of resistance. Yesterday was really bad. I felt a big distrust to certain people, big amount of neediness and something like hopelessness for my future. It was the first time I was thinking about quitting the program (No, I don't quit). And there was a lot of anger about manipulative people. This point is funny, because I found myself being manipulative in the past, too - in a passive niceguy-way. And it felt, like I were afraid to loose my manipulative part - in a certain way. What also bothers me is my actually low sex drive. It's because I always have had a high sex drive.
I was thinking if it would be helpful to get 1 or 2 days off to let my mind process the given information. But on the other side maybe it would be helpful to try listen even more hours/day to solve this situation. Some suggestions?
Sounds like the same resistance I had in Stage 3. Just stick with it and assume that it is just your brain rebelling
Ah, ok, so it looks like I am not alone with this problem at this stage.
The last two days I didn't feel that bad as before. But however, something is still fighting inside. I had a dream, where I tried to get a woman and got rejected. This happened many times in this dream over and over. The second dream was very similar, but I don't remember as well as the other one.
I still not really sure what this stage does with me, but I feel that it does something. At some points I feel a little confused. Sometimes I want to do something and at the same time I am thinking on the exact opposite. For example one day I just wanted to be alone. But at the same minute I was thinking about going out and socializing. Maybe some parts of me are fighting inside.
This week I felt more confident again than last week. Few day ago I was at a party. I noticed that some girls were looking at me in a way saying "Come over and talk with me". At least with two of them I am pretty sure they wanted me to come over. Unfortunately I didn't feel able to do this. I think it had much to do with the fact that they were in a group of about 7/8 people. If she were alone there I probably could do it. Since I come from a point of extremely shyness it's not really surprising I couldn't do it. But I hope it will be better in future stages. The fact I missed a given chance gave me some frustration that day. But it was still an important experience, because the first time in my life I got a real sense of what it means to have options with women. And it was a great experience!
The other things I noticed in the last few days are: I have more motivation again to get things done, I buy/eat more healthy food (at least more than before), listening subs don't make me as tired as it used to do. Last but not least I notice that the people who liked me because I was "so nice" starts to dislike me. On the one side it doesn't feel good, but I think it's a step in the right direction. At least if they were only for this one reason with me.
Yesterday I finished Stage 3. Had to add about a week because I had many externals distractions in week 3 and 4 and so I didn't get the required exposure. In the third week I had some really good days. I felt almost like VIP while walking through the city. Many people said hello the moment I looked at them, women were looking at me. The fourth and the extra week were both a real rollercoaster again. Because of the ups and downs it's hard to summarize. One thing I can tell for sure is that I got a real motivation boost. I got many things done I would usually need much more time for. In terms of the other things I would say I lost even more neediness and I am more unaffected by women. But again, because of fluctuations it's hard to tell. Today I began Stage 4. Let's see what it will bring to me.