Hi guys, new journal, new focus. This one will be about my journey while listening to "alpha male 5.0 for gay men". I'm already two days in. I'll make you a brief description of what happened those two days.
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Day 1 + 2
I feel like a magnet pushing me towards speeking to strangers in my school or on the street. It's becoming stronger and stronger. That's a good thing !
I also see more opportunities to socialize. This one is huge, it opened my eyes to a new world of possibilities: it is easy to start a conversation with anyone ! I don't have taken action on this specific thing but it's a matter of days I think. Wow !
I also feel more confident than before. Maybe because of the 7 days I did with ASC.
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I will try to write a post per day and maybe do videos about my progress so stay tuned guys !
-Adri
(01-15-2014, 12:34 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]Getting results quick!
Yes, I've always been a very responsive subject to hypnosis, relaxation and meditation. I am able to put myself in hypnosis just by closing my eyes, that might explain why I'm responding so quick to your subs Shannon.
By the way, I dreamt that I was in a sort of self-improvement club where I was sitting on the tables (might be an image for power and comfort... just making suppositions here) and everybody was calling me Shannon
Day 3
Today was a good day, I had fun with a lot of people ! I joked with the school's staff, with the people in my school, ... I'm not that scared anymore to make a bad joke that no one will laugh at, I just go with the flow and do what seems right. I still have moments in which my attention gets back to all the chatter the voices in my head are doing (don't do that, try that, that's great, don't think that it's low status, bla bla bla).
One great thing that is happening is that I now get sexual in my talking with one of my heterosexual friend (a very good friend !). We joked together while we imagined ourselves getting married and he told me his girlfriend would stare at us stupidely while we were getting married. I made a joke I don't remember and he told me "well I don't know if I'm gay or not". Getting sexual while talking has it's benefits
I don't remember anything else for today, I feel great and I've been learning lots of new marketing and social dynamics stuff . I'm eager to apply that knowledge !
See you guys,
-Adri
PS: I've now received my SleepPhones, they are great if you listen to your subs while sleeping !
Day 4 + 5
I wrote nothing yesterday because I was busy and nothing interesting happened. Today however, something interesting became obvious to me : I am now more assertive. I was at the gym and I was using a machine that another guy wanted to use. He aggressed me verbally telling me that "here we share the machines, 1 guy does 1 set of repetitions, then another one does, and so on". He just wanted to get the machine and because I look quite weak, I think he thought it would be easy to get the machine ! I told him that I would not let him use the machine right now because I was finding my starting weight on this particular machine. He insisted and I remained on my positions. He just went away to other machines. Victory for Adri, because before I would just have let him get the machine and do what he wanted ! Great
Something not so great also happened. I was on the bus and some girl from my old school came into the bus and recognized me. We kept talking and so on but while I was speaking to her, I started to blush, which is someting I do sometimes when I'm uncomfortable. But there were no reasons apart from the fact the I consider her to be part of my "old life", the life in which I was socially incompetent and all these stuffs. I made huge progresses on 6 months, learning hypnosis, NLP and all those stuff. I am now a more than average guy socially speaking. But I think that because she never saw me the way I am now, it made me uncomfortable. I don't really know, just a supposition. I hope AM will help me overcome those blushes.
Have a nice day,
-Adri
Day 6
Weekend. I did not went out today so no exposure to other people than my parents and my brother. I'm starting to feel annoyed when my parents ask me to do some random housekeeping task with an authoritative voice. I have tried not to tell my father that he could speak to me another way. I did not want to argue with him so I just did what he wanted.
I also phoned to my mobile phone network because I had some problem. The operator was really bored and tried not to resolve my issue. I got very cold and I just told him short sentences like "No." "You're wrong" "I don't think so" "I already know that" and then waited for him to answer. I think it made him pretty uncomfortable. I was able to resolve my issue that way.
That's all for today,
-Adri
Day 7
I stayed at home today (weekend). Apart from the fact that I'm now easily irritable when someone annoys me, nothing else to tell you about.
Bye guys
-Adri
Day 8 + 9
My brain is melting, my throat is hurting. I am sick, I have a sinusitis. So I stayed at home but something interresting happened while I was sleeping : I dreamt that I was going out and that I was sleeping with a really handsome guy. We were really connected, laughed, ... Nothing I've ever experienced with my past boyfriends. But for a reason I can't explain he did not want to make love with me. No big deal, the dream was really great apart from that !
Apart from this dream, nothing new happened (annoyance with my father telling me what to do, but it's not new)
Hope you are having a great week,
- Adri
Day 10 + 11 + 12 + 13
Hey guys, so basically I'm not going very well. My body cannot acclimatize to my new antibiotics so I feel dizzy and can barely stand. I went to school on days 10 and 11 and felt really bad. I did not notice a lot of new things about AM apart from the fact that I look at a lot of guys I find good looking and try to make eye contact with them. This is a thing I used to do but I stopped because of something that is too long to explain. Nothing important, I may explain this story another time but for now my body is aching so I try to write this post as quick as possible.
Have a nice day,
-Adri
Day 14 + 15 + 16
Nothing during days 14 and 15, I stayed at home, sick. But today (day 16), I went to school. I feel I'm more confident in a very subtle way: I keep eye contact with a lot of people I don't know. Also, my mind is racing all the time with toughts about how I could improve, etc. I do feel like AM is working underground without me noticing its work but I know it's there. I cannot tell you how but I can !
Also, I think the way I walk has changed. I don't know if it's true or not but well I would need to look at a video of me walking.
That's all for today, bye guys !
-Adri
Day 17
Wow, half of stage 1 done ! Today, I went to a shop to buy a sandwich and I found myself more confident while asking for the sandwich I wanted. I was more assertive and cool with myself. I also got a job interview and everything went really fine since I was really calm and cool with myself. I still don't know the outcome of the interview yet, but I think it will be positive. On my way from the place where the interview was to the bus station, I looked at some guys in the eyes and I felt a connection building up ! This is powerfull stuff ! The guys were a little bit destabilized but one seemed to like it
I also got into an argument with my parents because I was telling them that I wanted to become an expert in the field of psychology and that my consulting rates would be higher than average because of the service I would want to give my clients, which will be top notch (I hope so anyways) ! My mother went angry and told me "Oh you, you need to come down to earth, I do think your ego is too high !" and my fater said "You are in your own world. You'll fail at life, bla bla bla...". I just told them they thought like my grand-mother and went to my bedroom... Any advice on this guys ?
Have a nice day,
-Adri
If you don't at least aim high then you can never succeed. If it doesn't work out as you planned you will still presumably be just as qualified as everyone else in your field. Any failures are just lessons learned.
I assume that you would start out cheaper than others to get the experience and client base and then ramp it up as you get better and the clients are happier with your service?
Personally I tend not to discuss my ambitions, especially long term super ambitious ones, with other people because they inevitably become doubtful and negative. Plus if you later change your mind....
I am assuming that by the time we have finished AM in five months or so, there is a reasonable chance that our goals may have shifted due to changing internal value systems.
Thanks swisston, I do really agree with you about not speaking about projects to other people until it becomes something tangible. But my parents still "decide" what I can or cannot do (I still live with them, I'm 18) so I have to talk to them about my projects.
But I have a good news: I have spoken one more time with my mother and we came to the conclusion that the way I said what I wanted to tell them wasn't the right way to do it : they misunderstanded what I said
So now she's with me. Great !
To respond to your question on paragraph 2 of your reply, the answer is a big yes ! But I am learning some marketing that could really help me jump start my career. I will see where this leads me !
Thanks
-Adri
Day 18 + 19
Yesterday was good. A guy I see as cooler than me did not stop laughing at my jokes and speaking to me. Thats good
Today, I'm sick one more time :/ So nothing to tell about today.
Bye guys,
-Adri