Subliminal Talk

STAGE 4 DAY 8

Today should be day 9 but - my computer got unpluged by accident so battery run of i suppose around 5h of expouser ... so never got to 9h of exposure that day ...
So one day back ...

Anyways ... i have felt horrible and affraid last couple of days... I even got flue and got sick, so i started doing QI gong 30 min instead of 15 min.

Today i am feeling much much better.
Didnt go out - but all i can say its going harder with girls now - then it used to go before i started using AM .
Althoug reasson for this is that i am not interestd in just sex anymore - but relationship.

I am still very anxious and angry.
Had 2 dreams, both were about 2 woman who rejected me in past - they were really bad people - 1 even got pregnant with other guy and continued going out with me.
I had vivid dreams about both of them. Still having blasts from past in the middle of day.
My back is so tense - full of negative energy and Anxiety.
This stage is making me... so ... so... doubtful of myself and dissapointed.

(10-05-2013, 04:37 PM)somebodynew Wrote: [ -> ]I dont know ... i need encouragment, other people would kill for my life. But in last 2 weeks i am so unhappy.

This is because all of your "problems" have to do with how people perceive you or what they think of you or are dependant in some way on others. Take a look:

(10-05-2013, 04:37 PM)somebodynew Wrote: [ -> ]- I am harder making connection with people.
- Peoples respect isnt anymore just that - sometimes i have feeling like they are affraid of me - and scared person is ready to do a lot of stuped things.
- i am loosing my social circle because of not going out.


Okay everything happens for a reasson, but i am becoming really lonely. Since i stoped going out ( if you read you will know i used to go out to clubs at least 3x per week ) now i am going out maybe once. I feel tired of it - but than again i am loosing my social circle.

You have to learn to be comfortable with yourself, and yourself only. You shouldn't need other people to not feel lonely, and this loneliness is a deep issue that you think will be cured with other people, but it won't. My guess is AM is getting you to deal with it yourself, so you don't rely on other people anymore.

(10-05-2013, 04:37 PM)somebodynew Wrote: [ -> ]First of all i am feeling lonely even though i am sorrounded with so manny people,
I feel hated so much ( and i am not )
New people who i meet are starting to hate me (this is reall happenign ) even though i am in my corner not doing anything ( Talking about girls here )
When i approach girls they are rude to me - this didnt happen before.

Ok two things here:

1. Your loneliness is probably manifesting itself into neediness which women will instantly pick up on. They can feel that you want them to fill a void in your emotions, and that repels them.

2. Some people will hate you in life, no way around it. Accept it as a fact of life and then you can just move on. Now, if people are disrespecting you, make a consequence. This doesn't mean you hit them or in the case of women, call them a "b*tch", but you could just walk away, knowing that YOU don't want rude women.

It seems to me you are coming at this with the mind set of "people should like me" but in truth, you shouldn't need them to. But because you DO, that is why you are having such issues.

Hope that helps.

I agree. If you are comfortable in your own skin as well as comfortable being alone with yourself then everything will be fine. Loneliness happens because a person is not comfortable being alone. If you are comfortable being alone, loneliness can not exist.

@ SargeMaximus smoothsam


I agree with both of you, this STAGE 4 is making me so angry in my skin, like it is making me run away from myself - which is not possible = Imagine my head running from body

Last night something really strange happend - i was in club and thinking so at one moment i started thinking how nice it would be to have someone to share life with instead of just sex. Anyways nothing was happening during night - I couldnt approach any girls ( ... i hate VIPS ... there are always stuped people who think they own the place - i was in one last night )

So ... party was finished and i was walking to my car ... when someone pokes me from back ... i turn around and there are 3 HB9.5-HB10 ... standing and trying to start conversation with me ( they ere not drunk btw ) so they started talking how good looking i am - and we share numbers.


I mean it happed before that i get approached but it was never by HB10 + WHO ARE NOT DRUNK.

It was a shocker, total change of side like i was woman and they were man

STAGE 4 DAY 11

Okay guys, today is one more ... depresed day.

I got haricut, and my haricutter by accident forgot how to cut me, and cutted my hair that i was growing 2 months. So i am angry.

In last 2 month since i started talking i need relationship - i cant get any girl to go on date with me.
FOR FUCKING 2 MONTHS i am DRY.
Everything goes good and than we hear with each other and they never answer on my message ( Belive me i even looked for help with psychiatrist (friend) to tell me if i am doing something bad when i reply on message and talk over phone ( he analyzed me while i was talking ) - guess what i am not ).
And this is making me feel so ... FUCKING DESPARATE. now i am starting to think that AM is making me in some segments of my life worst than i was before - anyhow i will continue using it -
but instead of having even better success with woman i am having worst results in my life. 2 FUCKING MONTHS cant get on second date - before that i would get without problem to bed with hb9s

I have made this analogy before, but it's not readily available to link to, so I'll do it again.

AM is rough for some people because the program does not take shit or allow excuses. While you are transitioning from where you started to where AM is taking you, you can compare the process to a passenger jet traveling at 27,000 feet and then changing it's altitude to rise to 36,000 feet.

During the ascent, the plane will travel through different layers of the atmosphere, and the wind in each one may be traveling in entirely different directions - including polar opposite directions.

When the plane is transitioning from one of these layers to another, the area where they meet will be turbulent to the degree in which they differ. So if your original layer (slipstream?) had winds going West at 77 knots, and the new one has winds going East North East at 174 knots, guess what? The area where they meet is going to be pretty turbulent. But, as the plane continues to rise, the turbulence will peak and eventually fade because the craft is now in a new slipstream.

This is all part of the transition process. You're getting the depression because a part of you doesn't want to make some of the changes, but it can't stop them from happening (hopelessness when faced with something both feared and inevitable). You're getting inconsistent signals from women because you're now giving off inconsistent signals. Some of the time, you're advertising "My altitude is 27,000 feet," and some of the time, you're advertising that it's 36,000 feet. HB10's like higher altitude. So when they see it, they respond. But when you're advertising 27,000 feet, they won't.

That's part of why you perceive people as hating you as well. They're getting inconsistent and in-congruent signals and they think you're full of it.

This is a normal, natural part of the process when the time frame of such a magnitude of change is set to so little time. The transition is bumpy, and you have to finish stepping into the new you before you can fully own it and be congruent.

Just keep going. You'll get there.