Since i Decided Previously To not own a diary, i have made up my mind that forgetting each stage for a month is my best possible solution and then noting the change after the end of each stage, this was supposed to be just for me but i thought u guys can tell me how things are going with me and maybe i can help those who are planning to try it.
here goes.
Day 1 august 2 progress:
I dont need people as much as i did I am alone but not lonely, the things that pissed me off i am far more cooler with now, and handle in different and more relaxed better ways, my bad moods
are nearly jaw breaking in progress , i can barely last in a bad mood unless
i force myself to, im not like euphorically happy or anything im just in a neutral state most of the time now, fears of failures are popping up more in the last days,
my anxiety around people has cooled down big time even around people that i belived are high value and around girls, i can speak more openly and i am a bit more light hearted now, although i felt i needed a couple more days with S1 because of those fears popping up, but i just decided to move on and start S2, in my opinion beautiful changes for just 1 month and im excited about S2 now.
Great work! But be careful to use each stage for the amount of time specified in the directions. That is very important.
i feel so lonely and deppressed ;/
Is that because of the program, or just something you normally would feel?
If it's being caused by the program, it's very likely that the program is pushing you to do something that scares you, and that fear is being expressed as depression because it is causing frustration between doing what you are being pushed to do, and hiding from it. Depression seems to frequently be the symptom of a subconscious frustration, resistance or anger that cannot be expressed for some reason.
Im also on AM 5.0 and I think I'm starting to feel this as well. I've always had approach anxiety when it comes to woman. I would always make excuses, hold off till next day , month, year, but now I'm really getting upset at myself and I feel I can't procrastinate any longer or I'm really going to get angry. This is an area of my life I really need to get handled for once and for all and it's all I can think about at the moment. I can't wait to use WM 2.0 after AM 5.0 and see what happens but it's like the program is highlighting the areas in my life I need to fix up.
i guess its something i would normally feel but it decresed alot in stage 1 as i mentioned, so im not sure right now its not like im frustrated to do something its more of the unhappy leader u spoke about
i was like that before starting AM so maybe its increasing it even more? everything around me is making me unhappy the way people speak behave treat each other etc and shit with my family and above all that i nearly lost all my friends in stage 1 not sure whats going on really.
(09-09-2012, 05:17 AM)biakoia Wrote: [ -> ]i guess its something i would normally feel but it decresed alot in stage 1 as i mentioned, so im not sure right now its not like im frustrated to do something its more of the unhappy leader u spoke about
i was like that before starting AM so maybe its increasing it even more? everything around me is making me unhappy the way people speak behave treat each other etc and shit with my family and above all that i nearly lost all my friends in stage 1 not sure whats going on really.
What's going on is that AM is making you see the Matrix... and you don't like what you see. In a few stages, you'll effectively have started ascending out of that reality and creating a new one for yourself as an AIT (Alpha In Training).
Hey B, change is hard. It can be really really hard when you're changing this much this fast.
We're both going through this program right now. Stage two has me acting a bit of the hermit, wanting to stay home. I'm glad I have obligations that force me out of the house, because I could easily end up pulling a Brian Wilson and laying in bed forever.
Good friends will come back. Those that don't.. well, it's probably for the best; I doubt they were real friends anyhow.
Generally, you won't have good friends leave in the first place, if they match what you are achieving. But it's important to recognize that you can be effectively held in place by the people surrounding you, and when you make a change, the people around you may change with that.
Stage 2, Mission accomplished. Started 9/4 Ended 10/6
Okkkkkkkkk this was lets say Not the easiest month of my life hmmm i'm not sure if i should thank shannon or punch him il decide on that with the next stages.
anyway Stage 2 was just full of stupid shit literally stupid shit i mean crazy shit i did some jaw dropping stuff like i cant mention it here but i can try to explain it i stood up for some big stuff and i mean stood up like a man to that stuff before if i had went through this situation i would have lets say killed people?
i have dealt with it in a way that let alone amazed some folks around me that is normal for me but it even amazed me it was like the anger was there but it is being processed differently.
i also broke down many times this month i even reached a point where i just put my head down and prayed for help.
i am becoming in a way more light hearted but at the same time more strict its basically like saying im a good guy yo but im not a "nice" guy, i actually said that to a girl the other day and she was shocked (and i was too) because she did some stupid shit but then i felt her respect for me increased big time.
hmm i have stopped caring about girls during half and at the end of this stage like really i just dont give a fuck and this is weird because i was very eager to start WM to the point where i wanted to stop AM and start WM but now im more like mehhh not that much but for some weird reason im watching porn (not my usuall).
im getting much more interest from girls and there's many of them talking to me lately but again i just don't care and with friends it is like mostly i don't even wanna go out but i'm doing it to look at progress i barely even want to go out honestly i'm not sure if im seeing alot of change with my friends im usually the type of guy at least in a group that does not talk that much and i dont joke alot the thing im feeling mostly is i dont care as much as before about what they think or weather they see it as awkward or anything.
i was bored alot too this month and i get ups and downs about me deserving stuff and then me not deserving them it is like a self struggle in a way.
my posture is much better now it used to be forced, because i used to read how my posture is supposed to be but now it feels more natural, i guess my voice projection has increased but again im not so sure about this one.
extremely excited about stage 3 and to see whats gonna pop up, this was just a small conclusion because i cant actually write down everything that actually happened and it has been a tough month i will miss it and hate it at the same time. oh and for some reason i have been feeling pulled away from this forum i dont really know why it feels like i am forcing myself lately to come on here and i dont like that.
Stage 3 Here We go girl!
Hi Yuri,
I've had some similar things in stage 2, especially the feeling bored and not feeling like going out at all thing and alot of ups and downs.
Mostly i've just been pissed off and frustrated at people and haven't been bothering with them much. It sound like your doing well, and it's great that your starting to stand up for yourself strongly like a man.
-Ben
(10-06-2012, 06:26 PM)benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]Hi Yuri,
I've had some similar things in stage 2, especially the feeling bored and not feeling like going out at all thing and alot of ups and downs.
Mostly i've just been pissed off and frustrated at people and haven't been bothering with them much. It sound like your doing well, and it's great that your starting to stand up for yourself strongly like a man.
-Ben
yup, there is a world of difference between handling things out of rage and handling them with a calm confidence like a true man should.
sighh, i thought shit should be easier by now but shit is still hard.
(10-27-2012, 08:31 PM)Yuri Wrote: [ -> ]sighh, i thought shit should be easier by now but shit is still hard.
This AM training is tough for us first time user. I'm beginning to think after I completed my my first run, I should do my second run as soon as possible so that I won't regress back and have to suffer like it's the first time again.