Subliminal Talk

I started AM Saturday and have been using it everyday. I'll post every couple of weeks or so.

A little about me to create a benchmark.

I work in Corporate America and came to realize in the last two years that I am not passionate about what I do. I've considered quitting my job to pursue my dreams but I haven't done it.

I feel stuck in the middle. Not pursuing what I'm passionate about and not putting real effort into my current job - so I often feel like a walking ghost - living half a life.

I have a house and a decent job and from the outside I look like I'm doing pretty good, but I often feel sort of dead inside and I don't feel like I am really living.

I've dated some decent women in the last couple years but I have had trouble with the ones I am more attracted to.

I tend to cut myself off emotionally and I don't allow myself to just really enjoy them and let down my guard. I always feel like I need to be in my A game and this creates too much pressure for me.

Women tend to really like me, but I don't take advantage of that

I think this is a fear of getting hurt.

What I am looking to get out of this:
- Go what I am passionate about and take life by the balls.
- Be financially successful doing what I love.
- Be highly respected for what I do.
- Enjoy the hell out of women and create great experiences with them.
- A fulfilling social life, that is a positive experience for all.

May26-May31
Days 1- 6
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Journal:
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I've been using AM everyday according to instructions (8-12 hr per day). I've noticed thoughts of ambition, wanting more respect at work, and a general inner drive.

I have had thoughts like this before so I don't want to jump the gun, but they seemed a bit more consistent than usual. Might just be a placebo at this point.

Other than that, I don't feel anything too out of the ordinary.

Awesome! Welcome aboard!

(05-31-2012, 05:42 PM)Spiral Wrote: [ -> ]Awesome! Welcome aboard!

Hey thanks man.

Small Update:

I'm getting more easily annoyed with people. I can sometimes get annoyed with people anyway so I'm not a stranger to that but it seems to have been amped up to the extreme recently.

Last night I got super annoyed with a friend and I gave him major shit. Ended up calling him today to apologize.

This guy tends to have this 'I'm losing in life' mentality. And he always seems like he wants to be someone other than who he really is. It's hard to describe but its almost an energy he gives off that I can sense when I am around him. He's a super "nice" guy, but it tends to annoy me and last night it sent me over the top. I did feel a little bad about it but partly but I was feeling more like I need new friends.

I feel that I might have just been taking out my own frustrations on him so I don't really feel good about it. It doesn't really feel like progress to me. Definitely not a good thing to lash out at people. Better off just walking away or letting the water run down the back so to speak.

I've been noticing that another friend of mine has been saying these little negative things to me. Not insults, but just comments that are negative. Lately this has been annoying the shit out of me too.

Been feeling like I really don't need this shit, I'd rather just hang out alone.

I'm assuming it's related to the subs but not really sure.

I met a guy the other day in passing who had this really present, clear, direct, yet compassionate way about him and I found myself thinking, "I need more friends like this guy, this dude is awesome." I just felt totally drawn to the guy.

Anyway, that's it for now.

I'm 29 Days into AM 5.0. I start Stage 2 in a few days.

Results for Stage 1:

Thoughts/Feelings
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- Increased thoughts/feelings of that I deserve better in my job/career.
- Increase of easily getting annoyed with people who show:
- Negative Behavior
- Neurotic Behavior
- Lack of common sense, stupid behavior
- Overtly Selfish or inconsiderate behavior


Actions/Manifestations
----------------------
- Created some distance between myself and a few friends, I didn't feel good hanging out with them.
- Been spending more time alone

I'm looking forward to stage two.

One more thing I forgot to mention.

Thoughts/Feelings
------------------
Increased feelings/thoughts that it's time for me to be a man and let go of any Peter Pan behavior.

Sounds like some good results mate. The annoyance with people is an important part as they will learn to respect you more and it balances out in the end. I got a massive increase in respect at my workplace when I was doing it. (I did the 2011 version by the way so 5.0 will be even more powerful)

-Ben

Good to hear, how did you find stage 2?

Gents remember this thread is in the user section.

Ok didn't think of that, I only usually ever post in the 18+ section. It might be a good idea Funkeymonkey to have your alpha journal there, maybe start one there and transfer the posts or something.

-Ben

I posted this in the family section by accident because I wasn't familiar with the site and didnt realize the difference between the two.

I'll move the posts over there with a copy paste.

Ok cool, see you there.

The thread is now moved.

Hey one of my posts disappeared