Sorry that was my fault. I tried to un-edit my edits and some how lost the post. My bad.
It's been a while so I wanted to give an update.
Stage 2:
In stage one I found myself getting annoyed with people because of stupid and annoying behavior but in stage 2 it transitioned into getting annoyed over pretty much everything. It seemed like I went into grumpy old man mode.
I became a hermit and rarely went out with my friends. I had an increased sense of taking care of responsibilities and spent a lot of my time working on my house.
Stage 3:
In this stage I seemed to smooth out a little and I didn't get annoyed nearly as much. I also started seeing a woman so not sure how much of it had to do with that or the subs.
The sense of responsibility stayed for this stage and I continued to do work on my house. I also stayed a hermit and never went out. The only time I would go out socially is with this woman or for a very occasional drink with a friend.
Throughout both stage 2 and stage 3:
I had an increased sense of wanting to do better at work and be more successful. I also noticed not caring as much about what people, think of me, but specifically with my family - old situations or feelings regarding my family. I found myself sort of letting go of that more and just saying "fuck it, it just doesn't matter in the bigger picture.
I also felt this constant nagging feeling of how unimportant we all are and how our egos make us think we are so important, when in reality, after we die, no one will remember us in 100 years. This sort of translates into a feeling of things are not such a big deal and what's important is to enjoy life now - theoretically at least. In reality I would say that I've enjoyed life other times far more than I do now. It's more this constant nagging concept that is always there when I see people around me.
This feeling was a constant in the last two months and I have no idea if it's the subs or just something I'm going through.
Stage 4
I'm now in stage 4. I'm about half way through. I've spent the last 3 months not socializing so I'm feeling ancy and want to get out more.
This woman I've been seeing has been acting super, super needy with me and it's been really annoying me. She's constantly texting and calling and I don't have the time for it, or the energy for that matter.
I haven't found that AM has done anything for me in the way of meeting or having fun experiences with women. Probably the opposite because I've been a hermit. Then again it's important to point out that I came into this as someone who did okay with women. So if someone comes in to this from ground zero he might have the opposite experience. I just being honest in my experience here.
I don't have much more to say on stage 4 because I'm not done with it yet.
At the end of this whole thing I'll try and summarize with a 20/20 hindsight view.
Out.
You're also just entering the stages where women should be responding. But a needy woman is a woman who is responding... so I guess you do have that.
(09-16-2012, 03:14 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]You're also just entering the stages where women should be responding. But a needy woman is a woman who is responding... so I guess you do have that.
Well to be fair the woman I'm seeing is actually a woman that I dated very briefly five years ago. I fucked things up with her then and it ended almost before it started. This always weighed on me for all the years since then.
As it turned out, I ran into her again at a wedding I attended recently. At the wedding I took the opportunity to say some very honest things to her with the intention of releasing some of the emotional baggage I had been hanging on to.
Funny enough she found this to be a huge emotional turn on and we ended up having a crazy fun weekend at this wedding, which was in the middle of buttfuck no where (the mountains).
This turned out to be the wildest, most fun weekend of her life (by her account) and I have been seeing her since.
But then she started getting needy, insecure, and pushy with me. Not unlike the way I probably acted with some women in the past
She has not succeeded in pushing me around and I've handled the neediness very well, but it's been a bit of a turn off for me.
Regardless, the experience I had with her, giving her the best weekend of her life that she will never forget, might, in part, have been a result of the subs.
What's interesting is this is a woman who has always had guys kissing her ass, chasing her around, and acting needy to the point of the men looking totally pathetic and her losing interest. (I know this because I'm friendly with a female friend of her's who informed me of this). There's one guy she dated for three months without having sex with him and then dumped him. The guy begged for mercy to no avail.
So after her initial reaction of being wonder-eyed and surprised at my being vulnerable and saying what I needed to say to her at the wedding, she then proceeded to try and drag me around like a puppy dog as if I was one of those countless other men. I resisted this the whole night and she whined and complained, telling me I was being difficult blah blah blah. This lead to an adventure in the mountains that I won't get into here, but I find it funny that for all her complaining that I was being difficult, she now says it was the best weekend of her life and that it was so fun and wild blah blah blah.
No wonder men are confused!!!
That's why I say I'll do a full 20/20 hindsight at the end, because sometimes it's hard to know what's going on in the present and this story might be relevant to the subs and should be taken into account.
She told me that I am only one of two men, in her whole life, that she has ever dated, who did not follow her around like a puppy dog.
That's exactly what they want. My ex who I left told me I was the only man to ever tell her "No" to sex, and the only man who ever left her. She wants me back to this very day, although she knows it's not going to happen, so she talks about how "we realized we don't work together in that way", when really she just can't face the fact that she screwed up one too many times. (It should be more like 21 too many, but I was unusually weak with her.)
It's the men who have control of themselves, instead of letting a woman have it, who women usually find the most attractive. These are the leaders their genes are telling them to mate with.
Neediness, from either gender, is a real turn-off, I agree with you there.
WAY TO GO! That's awesome! Shake off the leash, buddy, because alphas are not led, they lead.
The leash is virtual death as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather sit alone in a room listening to The Backstreet Boys.
This is a bit off topic from my journal, but I recently read a book that is, by far, the best book I've ever read on the topic of women.
I haven't read too many books on the topic but I have read a few and I've found that it's pretty easy to know where a book is coming from by just reading reviews and/or a summary, so I have a pretty good idea of the stance a lot of books take. But this book was refreshing because it comes from a place of emotional intelligence, while still being spot-on truthful and practical.
Anyway it's called "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty"
I was curious if anyone else had read it.
I have read the start of it, but since I have so many books and now I tend to quickly lose interest in material I didn't get far with it. And I guess some of it made me uncomfortable.
But every review i've seen on it is positive. I have actually been getting the urge to read something good again. My mindset and attitude is improving but some things are confusing me that just aren't covered in John Alexanders book so I may give Models another go.
-Ben
(09-27-2012, 10:30 PM)benjamin Wrote: [ -> ]I have read the start of it, but since I have so many books and now I tend to quickly lose interest in material I didn't get far with it. And I guess some of it made me uncomfortable.
But every review i've seen on it is positive. I have actually been getting the urge to read something good again. My mindset and attitude is improving but some things are confusing me that just aren't covered in John Alexanders book so I may give Models another go.
-Ben
Do you remember which part of it made you uncomfortable?
There are a bunch of experiences that I've had in the recent past, with women, that brought me to a place of understanding that was already in line with what the book talks about. So I sort of took to it like a fish takes to water.
Also his description of what an Alpha Male is and the difference between a fake Alpha and a real Alpha rang spot on true to me based on my own experiences and what I have seen in the real world. To be honest I was blown away by this guys insight.
The things you can do, achieve and experience by being brutally honest with women are astounding. It doesn't always have to be brutal. But if you refuse to lie to them, and they come to trust you, they'll open up and do things you'd never believe.
So true.
Honesty communicates healthy vulnerability, which communicates confidence, which communicates non-neediness, which communicates value, which triggers attraction.
Honesty also communicates reliability, which fosters trust, which fosters connection, which fosters intimacy.
Subtle but powerful.
Of course it has to come from a real place for the right reasons. This isn't a new technique called "honesty." It has to come from a place of emotional health.
Organic not mechanized.
Most "game" is mechanized, which downgrades people to man-made machines rather than the creator of the machines. Man-made machines are mechanized versions of organic processes. The more advance technology becomes, the more organic it will become - representing more closely it's creator.
For humans to degrade themselves to mechanized machines is a sign of societal neurosis.
This is true. Honesty must come from a place of needlessness.
When I had multiple girlfriends, it was because each would arrive and express interest and I would say, "I already have a girlfriend. If you don't mind being girlfriend #2/3/4, welcome aboard. Otherwise, we can just be friends." I really didn't care either way, and that's why they all ended up being my girlfriends at the same time... and sometimes in the same shower, or bed.
I was honest, and without neediness. I demonstrated very high value. They couldn't resist.
(09-28-2012, 09:04 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]This is true. Honesty must come from a place of needlessness.
When I mad multiple girlfriends, it was because each would arrive and express interest and I would say, "I already have a girlfriend. If you don't mind being girlfriend #2/3/4, welcome aboard. Otherwise, we can just be friends." I really didn't care either way, and that's why they all ended up being my girlfriends at the same time... and sometimes in the same shower, or bed.
I was honest, and without neediness. I demonstrated very high value. They couldn't resist.
Shannon,
Was seeing multiple women, having fun, etc. was the result of a sub you were using?