Ooooooh, now I feel really good and swanky. I actually tested out a new tool that should go along with DRS v3 just fine (it's, like, manifestation protection from negative outside interference, in short. Lots of functions) and then I went shopping, and found myself flirting with hot cashiers and ogling chicks. This usually doesn't happen for me on PRA. Good stuff!
Mood skyrocketed, optimism skyrocketed, oh yeah.
Ths should be some pretty pleasant PRAing from now on.
Feelin' pretty decent, had lots of sleep and some wonky dreams to go along with it (especially regarding women). Singing practice is beginning to go really well again. I'll be resigning from working with my current psychotherapist as she's brought about more harm than good, and I'll go look for assistance elsewhere.
Having a very good day, my efforts as Interwebz self-promotion are beginning to bear fruit, I'm getting swamped with potential contacts (f. in. I'm working on a drama/opera libretto and a language teacher of yore has contacts at my hometown's philharmonic where we could stage the darn thing together with composer-bro). Feelin' good. Still, there's ample FRM and OGSF action going on, especially as relates to women and showbiz.
You know, I was just thiking about something that PRA v2c and DRS v3 are definitely working on. As in - enforced automation. Like, manipulation so deep and pernicious that I'm beginning to feel like a robot that's being ordered around by fools. And people keep trying to pull to that bullshit on me over, and over, and over again. Especially narcissistic people, who believe themselves to be expert manipulators, and, yup, learned psychologists. It was really rather terryfing how this made me feel deep down, and how much dread such a perspective was bringing about in me. Stuff to work on, I guess! But there's definite progress. I feel more free, I have more free energy to do whatever I choose to do, not what I've been "trained" (without my permission) to do and how much energy fighting this manipulative automation would normally cost me (it's why I always felt like a lazy bum, but I was fighting pernicious automation, and I've realized this some time ago already).
It's probably why prior to DRS v3 healing was such a struggle for me.
EDIT
Oh yeah, also invested roughly half of my savings into bonds. It's a long-term bond for the most part, 10 years' worth of investment, but it should give ample payback in the long run - at least 50% of what I invested if not more, with very little to no risk.
Feeling pretty good, healing's on, but a bit physically tired due to singing practice and my physical regimen to which I've made a return (to lose weight. I recently regained 2 kgs and am unhappy with the fact).
My self-promotional efforts are slowly bearing fruit. I can tell that people are offering me contacts and help - good people to boot, not users. Good stuff. Maybe I'll finally manage to turn things around career-wise (and love-wise, hyuck hyuck).
3 more days in this month, and then 2 more months to go in this run (I was considering re-starting the count since the advent of DRS v3, but I don't think that will be necessary anymore).
Went to pianist-bro's recital, people are demanding to hear me sing, lewl, and he's like, "but why". He's yet to bow down to my divinity of sex and song, hehehe. He's a smartass who thinks he knows more about singing than I do, heh.
Still, good progress on all fronts, met some fine people, posting to socials a bit in order to promote. Feelin' good.
My investments in bonds are developing nicely, I love checking my investment account and seeing the numbers go up way more rapidly than in my basic savings account.
Had some wonky dreams, related to what they've usually been related to, but maybe this time around the healing will stick.
Fingers crossed.
Otherwise, feeling pretty good, managed to re-create to an extent the DMSI quality in my voice through singing practice. Can't wait to show it off. Applied to some auditions, it'd be nice if they wanted to give me a try-out.
Just joined a band, to sing low bass harmonies (in a soul/blues/rock context). Sounds pretty professional, could be good money and groupies down the line. Good stuff!
EDIT
I'm less worried now, thanks to DRS v3 and some stuffies, about being a bit of a braggart/self-promoter as far as successes are concerned. Normally what would follow is a barrage of negativity and ill-wishing that'd make all my plans unravel. Now, I believe it should not be so anymore.
The healing is really kicking in and it's gonna have a very strong, hopefully in many respects permanent effect this time around (owing, for the most part, to DRS v3). My self-confidence and self-esteem are increasing, I'm doing "victory lap" poses, heck, I feel ready for DMSIng again, but I'm gonna finish this run of the CPTSD protocol. There's hints of wonky sensations in the core trauma areas (mostly around the perineum, with some hints in the heart area) but other than that it's all going swell.
I now know that what cause my "psychosis" was being kept in a permanent state of cognitive dissonance, and it was by many people done to me on purpose, be it consciously or unconsciously (because they're clinical maroons, apparently). I'm getting better day after day, feeling safe.
I also have a turbothingy for JUSTICE ™ now and I'm using it judiciously, as they say. This is going to bring about some serious changes in my life, and for the better.
Been practicing the piano whilst taking a month off from lessons. I do feel ready to re-start them now, but since I've got some new things going on I'd rather take it easy. Still getting hours of healin' and chillin', and I keep feeling better with every Z enjoyed, or even nappy time.
Singing practice went well but I almost didn't go because I feel physically tired.
We didn't have a song yet for this journal. Let's have a song! Some sort of chick-rock band called "Plush" - Will Not Win
You like to torture me, mess with my sanity
Trap me in a box, lock it up, lose the key
There's darkness everywhere
How do I get out? I'm scared
I'm afraid, I'll keep losing at the end of the day
These feelings are so real, wish I was made of steel
I could reflect all the pain and the guilt and the shame
And the bullets you shoot at me
I feel like giving in, I wasn't made for this
But I can't keep letting you win, this time, you will not win
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nC7GirLRN8 \m/
EDIT
The feeling of exhaustion isn't just physical, it's also mental. Healin' and chillin' mode. Something big must be healing through.
The feeling of exhaustion passed after an hour or so once I noticed it and now I feel fine-ish. Hopefully that's indicative of some sort of healing progress!
Now I feel completely PRA-fine, something big must have healed through. Now I'm energetic again and feeling swell. Still, PRA is doing its thing, especially OGSF and FRM. I'm feeling way more socieable too, which is a shame since I don't have too much real-live interactions right now and mostly been doing social media outreach.
I don't know what exactly was healing through because the program is very transparent. Frankly, sometimes I'd rather not know. Continuing.
Oh, BTW., one thing I just remembered that may be DRS v3 related - some of my close relatives were complaining about very, very wonky, disturbing, strange dreams for a couple of weeks once I started running DRS v3. Then I started feeling much better and they stopped complaining. Could be related, I think!