Feelin' good, feelin' optimistic. My voice is gradually returning to form (I went to singing practice twice today. Usually I'd have to force myself to do one session), I feel energetic. Listening to metalz and rockz and feelin' good. Can't wait to put on my loops tonight.
I feel sociable, but I don't have all that much social contact except for a few friends and my father, really. We'll get working on that post-haste (I'm also counting on DMSI later on to get me some new, hot lady friends down the line
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PRA v2c + DRS v3 are making me way less triggerable by triggers that would bring about unpleasant (un)consciois memories or recollections. It was less so when I was still using DRS v2.
Listening to my loops for the night. I can feel the aura of love kicking in greatly, and alleviating and making the progress on trauma healing and GSF removal pretty blissful, all things considered, and it's great. I'm getting hints of energy getting moved around internally (but that's not Wonky Sensations TM, that was something else - and, as stated previously, pretty much went away after a couple of weeks of DRS v3).
I'm also getting hit by vivid sexual fantasies of particular women. Very interesting.
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Oh yeah, I'm also getting the occasional "victory lap!" pose striking spontaneously. Always a good sign on healing subs.
Slept a lot, had some healing dreams regarding music practice and work. Very interesting. Feeling composed. DRS v3 is firing up, though.
Some ups, some downs, between "healin' and chillin'" mode and some urgency to keep doing my thing. Thanks to DRS v3 even tremendous amounts of bullshit are now ineffective at distorting my perception of reality.
Running my loops for today, feeling very calm and a bit like big tough softie, maybe?
Funny feeling. Music would indicate I'm healing through heart-stuff, but also sex-stuff. I really needed DRS v3 for the healing to start really sticking, I believe.
Anyway, I now usually do two sessions of singing practice per day, circa 30 minutes each, good for technique (not learning new repertoire, working on what I've learned already) and practicing piano (re-starting piano lessons with pianist chick - who, as it turns out, is locally a pretty famous pianist/singer chick, by the by - in October).
After my loops for the day I feel very lively and energetic. Found some new communities (online) with shared interests, and with people who know their stuff. One of my previous communities (where I'd sometimes advertise Subliminal Shop) is also getting back on track and is becoming very much to my liking. Neat!
I was planning to get some Zs after the loops, but I'm too energized right now, so I'm doing my physical regimen and practicing some piano (at a very low volume. It's 5 AM where I'm at).
Oh man, my therapist is such a moron, when I come in in a good mood she interprets it like there's something wrong with me. She also treats me like a totally dependent degenerate regardless of any actual proof I bring. She's an idiot. I'm telling on her to my psychiatrist come Monday.
Otherwise feeling pretty good, PRAing in progress, more energy to do things. Looking for gigs, be they translation, singing or otherwise. Also looking into investing some of my savings.
Wet my feet a bit with a little investment in national bonds - low risk, relatively low reward, but it's a good start. I'll be buying more of them and as long as my country doesn't go under I'm getting some monies out of it within 3-5 years.
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Does anyone have any investment advice for a beginner? I can do most stuff through my bank.
Listening to my loops for the day. I'm getting a slight headache on the left side of my brain, this usually indicates some sort of resistance being worked through, and then a breakthrough of some sort with "victory laps" imminent. The program is very transparent in that I don't really know what it's working on (except for dreams, which are somewhat wonky and thus tricky to interpret) but I do know I'm gradually beginning to feel better and have more energy for life in general.
(08-25-2026, 09:28 AM)Have at ye Wrote: [ -> ]Wet my feet a bit with a little investment in national bonds - low risk, relatively low reward, but it's a good start. I'll be buying more of them and as long as my country doesn't go under I'm getting some monies out of it within 3-5 years.
EDIT
Does anyone have any investment advice for a beginner? I can do most stuff through my bank.
We can't have investment advice being given without the right license to do so, as far as I understand.
Got it! I'll ask the bank staff I guess.
EDIT
Feeling pretty good after getting some Zs, time for 3 off days. On the lookout for gigs, doing my thing. Pleasant, restful sleep absent anything disturbing which is very welcome.
I feel like I could be doing more intense healing even, but I'll stick to the CPTSD protocl for at least one run-through. And then do the PTSD protocl on occasion (until PRA v3 comes about).
Feelin' pretty good, doing singing practice (which isn't as sexy as on DMSI, but we'll get there) and my other things. A little bit bored. I got a line on a translation gig.
I still get some energy movement sensations (Wonky Sensations TM appear to be gone) in the Core Trauma area. Also FRM is doing its job as well; I do get a little bit of ambient anxiety as well as some restless leg syndrome.
I'm so friggin' tired of being treated like the eternal scapegoat. My family did that, people from work did that - in spades - and whenever I manage to get out from that feeling of being the lowliest scapegoat people friggin' escalate until I reach a breaking point. It's why DRS v3 for me is a godsend.
Heck, even my psychologists do that - they come up with harmful bullshit and then they blame me for the harm they've caused. I'm beginning to hate all psychologists, anti-psychiatry style.