Subliminal Talk

Quote:Starting to feel really good on this program. The inner turmoil is quickly going away, and doing so much quicker than what was happening on PRA. There's this sense of inner calm, and I'm no longer bothered if I'm not included in things. My mindset is already shifting to the thinking of "if someone wants me around, they'll ask", and if they don't I do my own thing.

Quote:Another thing that I'm noticing that I didn't realize was in Stage 0 is the Brain Optimizer is really starting to kick in. My thinking has really cleared up and I'm able to focus a lot easier on what I need to do at work, and am more attentive when speaking with people. The calm authoritative way of talking to people and bringing up issues at work is more noticeable (US at work as well?).

Quote:I got a haircut today. In the past I had nothing really to say and unless they asked me a question it would be awkward silence the whole time. Today the guy I went to and me got along really well and we had a really great conversation about all kinds of common interests. I don’t have a lot of great conversations. I think I was much more open than usual and my presence invited him to be more open as well, as he shared some really deep meaningful things that he was almost embarrassed for a minute after he said them and almost apologized but I said no it’s good and we carried on. He even commented after that he really enjoyed the conversation. And I felt really good afterwards, including happy bodily sensations and heart opening, for having connected with someone in a way I used to be too closed off to do unless I already knew the person well.

Quote:The happy positive feelings carried on into the first evening of the event. One of the participants, an older woman, told me that I seem taller and bigger like I’m taking up more space than last time and I seem more masculine.

Quote:Tonight I went to pick up some pizza. I noticed the girl before I walked in the door and saw her in the back kitchen wearing short shorts. She came out to the register. The guy brought my order out and went back to the kitchen as she rang me up. She was probably early 20s, bubbly and friendly and not bad looking at all. As I was about to turn around to leave she said, “by the way I like your jacket, the color goes great with your hair.” I said something like “oh thank you” and smiled and laughed. I didn’t know what to say beyond that. She said “well have a good night” as I turned and left. I wish I had anything else to say to carry on from there. She obviously was into me. I have rarely had any woman be that blatant about it other than a few times. In the past, even when the woman has been even more direct than that, I couldn’t possibly believe she was actually attracted to me. That didn’t even exist as a reality for me. She would pretty much have to start making out with me for me to realize that she wasn’t just being friendly. At least this time, right after I left, I realized that she was obviously signalling she was attracted to me. That’s progress I guess. I think it’s now possible for me to see myself as an attractive man, and believe that more than a rare few women could be attracted to me.

Quote:Month 1, cycle 1:

- Feeling way calmer
- Sleep is noticeably better even when it’s shit
- I’m locked in at work and doing longer work sessions much easier and with less stress
- Got a job interview randomly for a position I applied to last year… spooky
- Way less interest in certain junk food and my already high intolerance for poor quality food is sky high
- Way less interest in watching YouTube or otherwise wasting my precious time watching other people succeed or do things I’d rather be doing myself.

Quote:Went to the grocery store and had a few guys at different points just randomly turn their head to look at me. Could be placebo.

I felt more comfortable than even on PRA. With PRA if there’s discomfort I’m sort of just left to deal with it but with stage 0 it’s like I can also operate in the world instead of just having to withdraw from it to focus on neutralizing and being “non resistant”.

Quote:When someone asked me if I could do a favor for them when I was low on time I simply said "I can't" without feeling the need to explain. I had to double take because there's usually tension there for me. At another point, while in conversation I noticed I was naturally holding eye contact, and my demeanor was more comfortable and direct, but in a polite way.

Quote:I’m about 2 weeks-ish into Stage 0 so far, and there’s actually a lot happening, but it just feels normal. Like I suddenly realized my body language, attitude, etc. was all different without me noticing. I just feel like normal me. Noticing people starting to treat me different in different contexts, especially strangers. I had a waitress assume I was the “group leader” today even though I wasn’t even the one paying lol.

Quote:Feeling more energetic walking taller taking more room in my strides, I get a few guys nod their head at me. And a few girls look over and smile. Feeling calmer from the November/Decembers spiral. But negative thoughts still surface occasionally. Not as much as before. Also taking less shit from people as well specially if they put the blame on me or make me the scapegoat, I call it out.

Quote:The emotional healing is very strong in this program, i'm starting to restore my faith in humankind and that's something i deemed impossible for some time, i feel some dizziness though so my subconscious must be under heavy emotional healing without being able to resist, it has been a long time since i felt like going out to drink with friends, depression got me good i have to admit.

Quote:Stage 0 - Day 3

It's still early today, but I feel amazing. I had an excellent workout last night, I slept well,  and I woke up with Rick Derringer's "I Am a Real American" playing in my mind.  So, I played it multiple times as I got ready for work.

I grew up watching on screen, larger than life male figures (think Arnold, Sly, Hulk Hogan, etc). That song is reminiscent of that era for me and it conjures up a childlike optimism.  Damn, I feel good this morning.

Quote:Stage 0 - Day 9 (cont'd)

I'm having intermittent moments of mental clarity. When my brain isn't tired from reduced calories or lack of sleep, my cognition and memory seem to be improving. The best way to describe it is that my mind feels less hazy at times and recall, particularly with numbers, is effortless. I don't mean to say that I have laser-like focus or a photographic memory, but I'm seeing improvements in subtle ways without struggle.

Quote:Stage 0 - Day 17

Social fluency is increasing. That boils down to two things:

Listening - I'm usually so disinterested in conversation that I have a tendency to tune out. I'm pretty sure this phenomenon is a result if emotional traumas from childhood. I think I'm essentially attempting to build an emotional shell around myself by not consciously processing what is being said. I've done that for so long that I suspect that my brain circuitry has become wired to support it, so it's amazing that I seem to be coming out of it.

Speaking - I've had a problem with speaking in conversations since my early 20s (maybe longer), but it seems to have gotten worse over the past few years. I think that extends from ridicule I received from my dad when I was a kid. I can distinctly remember being about 10 years old and trying to tell a joke. I was already nervous and I remember fumbling the joke when my dad aggravatedly interjected, "Get to the point son!". I felt incredibly stupid and I was embarrassed. I remember trying to finish the joke while having a knot in my throat and holding back my tears. I was already embarrassed, so I didn't want to be a wimp and cry on top of it. I can even remember the punchline of the joke. That was a normal thing when I interacted with my dad. Looking back, it wasn't a big deal, but I was a sensitive kid and it carried a lot of emotional weight that I think still affects me to this day. I eventually withdrew from him (and others) and learned to keep my mouth shut under certain circumstances. With Stage 0, my speech flows without all my internal over-analysis kicking in.  I'm really enjoying that.

Quote:I started this sub on the 17th of Febuary.

First of this will be my second sub with a full run through i am sure of it did OGSF in 6G last year around this time for a full run through.
Now what can i say i am about 1 and a half months in and it is transformative. 

From taking responsibility for my life, actions and finances to giving no more fucks about irrelevant opinions, people and outcomes i have no influence on.

Even though i am not through a full run yet i would say if i had to choose a single sub to run for live this would be it, no wonder tbh as includes a lot but i also notice my behaviour has radically changed for the better.

I notice how i am confident in myself and who i am a strengthening of what my definition of masculinity is to be calm, sharp and collected.

To be physically and mentally fit i am activley working out now consistently and continuing my education.

Also to be a rock an anchor, unmoveable in spirit and heart.

So this is shaping me up to be strong, unshakeable and validated fully by my own existance.

Quote:As far as the program, so far I feel more masculine, I feel fears leaving, I feel more attractive, I feel focused on my independence, I feel focused on my craft, I feel healthier and more focused on doing what it takes for my health, I feel more uncensored speaking to my girlfriend, I feel it's easier to relax in triggering situations, I feel that I"m starting to believe emotional healing is possible, whereas before I did not. I also notice periods of extreme elevated mood, and genuine smiling that people have noticed.

Quote:I am liking it

I feel extremely focused on my purpose and connected to my place in that purpose 
I feel less focused on anything non productive I can’t control 
I feel less obsessed with releasing trauma but also feel that I’m probably releasing more trauma.

Quote:Stage 1 has massively increased my confidence and determination to just get sh*t done.  Productivity at work is through the roof and I don’t wait to finish daily tasks like I was during most of the Stage 0 run.  Even at home I was putting off projects on fixing things in my house

Quote:So far on Stage 3, it almost feels like I'm getting back to being fully there. One major realization that came up in just a couple of days in this stage is that I finally want to break out of my comfort zone and find a girl that's right for me to settle down with. For years and years now, I've lived in my own little bubble that I felt was my comfort zone, and I was just too afraid to break out of. I'm done living in my comfort zone. I'm sure that feeling will only strengthen throughout the rest of the month and even more going into the next stages.

Quote:Just to recap on my dating life on AM7. 

Last weekend, I’ve had my first lay since being on this sub. She came over straight to my place for a night of fun.

Tonight I went out on a first date for drinks. I could tell that she was into me. At the end of the night, I grabbed her hand, brought her close to me, and she was actually the one who initiated the kissing by saying “you can kiss me”, and leaning in for the kiss. We had a short make out session and said goodbye.

Quote:Noticed myself more proactive today at my work/ job, instead of passing responsibility into other people, in situations in which being proactive and showing initiative is the right thing to do.

Also, I’m more eager in running errands and doing them on tine instead of avoiding or delaying them.

Quote:Events or heartbreaks that in the past would take me months or years to shake them off and recover my confidence, I’m now able to process them much faster. The pain is still there, but I don’t let it destroy me and derail my life.

Quote:Currently in a phase I would describe as balance, alignment, increase in maturity. I treat everything I have to do seriously. Errands, bills, appointments which previously I’ve delayed, flaked on or avoided handling them like an adult, I now treat them seriously and act in a timely manner to do what’s necessary.

I’ve often considered myself less mature than my age, and finding excuses for myself, I think it was coming from an avoidance of responsibility, of not wanting to face life and reality. 

I am 35 years old, and I now feel close to having the maturity level of an actual 35 year old man. This is what AM7 Stage 0 has helped me with.

Quote:With Stage 0 I had become a more passive version of myself. That's detrimental to my work life. After one night of Stage 1 input,  that seems to have been reversed. I've been less patient and more direct. I've only been at work for an hour and a half and I've had three instances where I've been somewhat forward about getting shit done holding others are accountable. In each instance, I just acted.  Very nice.

Quote:There's a no nonsense aspect to Stage 1 that I'm enjoying. But it's also incredibly well balanced. What i mean is that I'm fairly relaxed most of the time, but my intensity is cranks up quickly when called for.  Then, it's back to baseline.

Quote:One thing that occurred to me this weekend is that my disposition lately has been overwhelmingly positive. I've noticed this multiple times now, but it really hit me when I was out for a walk this weekend. I found myself lost in how beautiful the day was. I was admiring not only the beautiful sunny weather but even the way the trees cast shadows in the ground. It's like everything in that moment was good and I breathed in every minute of it.

Quote:I'm having moments of intense joy. There's a sense that I'm at the beginning of the rest of my life. The last time I can recall feeling this way is when I made a career change in my late twenties (twenty years ago). At the time,  I felt like the future possibilities were endless and I feel that way now.

I have a persistent urge to upgrade my life. I already mentioned the weight lifting book that I'm reading. Over the next two weeks,  I'll be  refining my liftng routine. As of this morning, I've switched to morning workouts (4am bitches) instead of after work evening workouts to increase intensity and enhance sleep quality. I've purchased a new piece of equipment for posterior chain work that I've neglected for years and an open trap bar to incorporate deadlifts without aggravating existing issues. I've already mentioned diet tweaks.

I have a renewed hunger for knowledge on certain topics. So, in addition to reading the lifting book,  I'm listening to my 2nd audible book since starting Stage1 during my drive to and from work. I've downloaded a new note taking app that I'll use the write down thoughts and insights I have throughout the day. That way, I can ponder the thoughts and insights as well as how to turn them into action instead of allowing them to vanish into thin air.

All in all,  I'm very impressed with Stage 1 so far. I don't think I've ever had a sub light a fire under me like this one has. But, the process is surprisingly pleasant.

Quote:When i took my parents out for dinner tonight, I ran into a guy I used to work with. He didn't see me at first.  Normally, I wouldn't have gone out of my way to say hi, but tonight I did. Until now, I hadn't seen him  and his wife in over 20 years. There were hand shakes and hugs like we had never missed a beat. It felt good .

My behavior today is definitely out of character in the positive direction.

Quote:Something worth noting is that I've been feeling much more love toward my family since beginning Stage 1. This has continued with Stage 2. The significance of that is that I've spent the last few years dealing with a deep seated anger. And when I'm dealing with internal struggles, i tend to isolate myself from everyone, both physically and emotionally. I'm not 100% sure what the source of that anger was, but stages 1 and 2 seem to have disintegrated it.

Quote:Over the past week, I've seen other signs of progress. One is that I'm not feeling the emotions of others. That's big for me. That alone is leading to an increased level of boldness that shows itself in various ways.

Quote:I don't have much longer with Stage 3. I'm going to miss it. Once I got past the initial adjustment period, it became my favorite stage so far. If I had to describe it in just a few words they'd be: strength, confidence, and charisma. One way those traits manifest themselves is in social/flirty behavior. This past weekend was engaged in some friendly banter with a female bartender. It was nothing more than playful conversation but it's a definite change in behavior. This is very unlike me. Stage 3 has brought out a side of me that I haven't seen since I was in my early 20s. It's nice. I feel more vibrant and youthful. The difference between me now and me in my 20s is that I'm much more confident now than I was back then.  I've even caught myself looking in the mirror and thinking,  "I'm a handsome mother fucker." That has happened multiple times with stage 3.  Again, that's not like me. At first,  stage 3 seems to have been a bit jarring to several women who know me, including my wife. Most everybody has warmed up to it and are a actually more open with me than usual. My wife is still adjusting.