Subliminal Talk

(06-22-2024, 07:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-19-2024, 08:36 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]It's possible I've blown it but I don't know what I would have done to blow anything.

That is exactly how you could have blown it: not knowing what you could do to blow it.  Based on what I read about your date, I would think they were expecting something else from you during and/or after your date.

Quote:I text my crush about an hour after I left and asked if she wanted to meet me for a movie tomorrow because I  think of something so I text her. No reply.

I sit and eat and say yes or no when asked if I need anything. I don't flirt but she was definitely more chatty a few weeks back.

I'm starting to feel uncomfortable myself and unsure why.

You probably feel uncomfortable because you're starting to realize there's something wrong, but you don't understand what it is.

Quote:How do I find out for sure if they're just not comfortable with me anymore without just saying that it seems I'm making you uncomfortable so I need another server?

Well, here's my assessment based on what I know.

First: fishing off the company pier.  In other words, you never try to date a woman who works where you work (or where you are a regular customer) because if something goes wrong, you have made everything awkward and uncomfortable for everyone (at best) and they may feel like they need to get a different job, or you may feel like you can't go there anymore (at worst).  This is not always a mistake, but if you do it, you'd better be damned good with women to pull it off.

Second: You seem (to my point of view, based on what I've been told here) have a habit of misinterpreting what they're communicating to you through sub-communication (body language, what they do, etc.).  For example, when the sister showed up wanting to be part of the date, you thought they were both attracted and interested.  That is a possibility, but what I saw was she wasn't fully comfortable being alone with you, so she brought her sister to make it hard for you to try anything inappropriate.  She was interested and attracted, but not yet comfortable with you.  That's how I interpreted what happened.

Third: You didn't do anything during the date but watch the movie.  At least as I understand it.  She may have felt like you were not really interested or maybe felt awkward because of what she was expecting.  Remember what I said about "dates".  Women have a million and one expectations the moment you make them think "date".  If she gets to thinking it's a "date", you're probably going to fail.

Fourth: You took her on a date.  And that's what she was expecting, even without saying the word "date" because of how you approached it.  You took my advice, but did not execute correctly, and she still was thinking it was a date.  Not necessarily your fault, if you're not familiar with that approach, but it remains the same result.

Fifth, you were confused about how to execute the date because of apparently bad advice and possibly inexperience.  One of my hard rules is, NEVER let a woman think too long before you go on a date with her, because she will ALWAYS make it either awkward or impossible if she has enough time to think too much about it.  If I ask a woman out on a "date", or she thinks it's a "date", I always make sure it happens within the shortest possible time frame.  Usually that very same day, or the next day at the latest.  When you set it up for such a long wait, she was overthinking the hell out of it, and her sister was too, which only made it worse.  You also changed your behavior between asking her out and the actual date, and you're honestly lucky she went through with it.  That is a testament to how attracted she actually was to you.

Sixth, your communication with her/them since asking for the date is seriously in question, and if you did not handle that well, that will have thrown the whole thing in the trash because she will have developed a completely different understanding than you did, and then subsequently interpreted everything you did and did not do through that lens.

So if I understand enough of what has happened, and I am correct, you are very close to totally failing in this situation because you did not communicate with her/them well enough and frequently enough.  The only way you can recover this is to try to correct that through a pro-active effort at open, honest communication, and the chances of you succeeding are very low at this point because she will not and cannot discuss it at work, and she is very unlikely to respond to any attempt to communicate outside of work.

Your only chance is to send her a text that says the right things to get you back on track, in my opinion.  Others may disagree.  But this is my assessment based on what I have read of your adventures.

I knew that she brought her sister cus she most likely didn't feel comfortable. Her twin was the one that always used to ask me what I was doing later.

I always told her what I was doing because I was interested in her sister.

I did fail. My friend from the Airforce came in and we ate at the restaurant and when I got there My crush was at the front desk but didn't acknowledge me. She then walked through the area by the kitchen out the other end and around behind where I waited for my friend but she went back the other way.

Another server told me both twins had just clocked out. So another server took me and my friend to a booth.

From that booth I could see the kitchen door. My crush stood there. I looked at her. She looked at me.

I expected her to come talk to me but she didn't.

She disappeared.

Her Twin on the other hand talked to me and I introduced her to my friend and she seemed like everything is normal.

I am sure now that my crush has something going on and it may or may not be me.

I never have gotten a reply from my crush in text. I only ever text her 3 times since April.

1st was so she'd have my number.

2nd was I asked her if she heard Taylor swift new album

3rd is when I'd asked her to a movie a few days ago.

I can agree I blew this. 

I am a terrible texter and I'm going to accept I failed.

It's best for me to just get another server and move on.

I've never tried to get with a restaurant server.

In hindsight I should have gone for the other twin though she has a boyfriend because at first she seemed more into me till my crush told her to quit trying to steal me.

I'm not saying both girls wanted me but it's a good possibility because of X4A-1511.

I will just request the other twin and just have her be my server. Move on with my life. Cus I definitely don't want to make anything worse.

I can ask my crush if I did something to make her feel uncomfortable but she's not gonna answer me.

(06-23-2024, 08:05 AM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-22-2024, 07:15 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]That is exactly how you could have blown it: not knowing what you could do to blow it.  Based on what I read about your date, I would think they were expecting something else from you during and/or after your date.





You probably feel uncomfortable because you're starting to realize there's something wrong, but you don't understand what it is.





Well, here's my assessment based on what I know.

First: fishing off the company pier.  In other words, you never try to date a woman who works where you work (or where you are a regular customer) because if something goes wrong, you have made everything awkward and uncomfortable for everyone (at best) and they may feel like they need to get a different job, or you may feel like you can't go there anymore (at worst).  This is not always a mistake, but if you do it, you'd better be damned good with women to pull it off.

Second: You seem (to my point of view, based on what I've been told here) have a habit of misinterpreting what they're communicating to you through sub-communication (body language, what they do, etc.).  For example, when the sister showed up wanting to be part of the date, you thought they were both attracted and interested.  That is a possibility, but what I saw was she wasn't fully comfortable being alone with you, so she brought her sister to make it hard for you to try anything inappropriate.  She was interested and attracted, but not yet comfortable with you.  That's how I interpreted what happened.

Third: You didn't do anything during the date but watch the movie.  At least as I understand it.  She may have felt like you were not really interested or maybe felt awkward because of what she was expecting.  Remember what I said about "dates".  Women have a million and one expectations the moment you make them think "date".  If she gets to thinking it's a "date", you're probably going to fail.

Fourth: You took her on a date.  And that's what she was expecting, even without saying the word "date" because of how you approached it.  You took my advice, but did not execute correctly, and she still was thinking it was a date.  Not necessarily your fault, if you're not familiar with that approach, but it remains the same result.

Fifth, you were confused about how to execute the date because of apparently bad advice and possibly inexperience.  One of my hard rules is, NEVER let a woman think too long before you go on a date with her, because she will ALWAYS make it either awkward or impossible if she has enough time to think too much about it.  If I ask a woman out on a "date", or she thinks it's a "date", I always make sure it happens within the shortest possible time frame.  Usually that very same day, or the next day at the latest.  When you set it up for such a long wait, she was overthinking the hell out of it, and her sister was too, which only made it worse.  You also changed your behavior between asking her out and the actual date, and you're honestly lucky she went through with it.  That is a testament to how attracted she actually was to you.

Sixth, your communication with her/them since asking for the date is seriously in question, and if you did not handle that well, that will have thrown the whole thing in the trash because she will have developed a completely different understanding than you did, and then subsequently interpreted everything you did and did not do through that lens.

So if I understand enough of what has happened, and I am correct, you are very close to totally failing in this situation because you did not communicate with her/them well enough and frequently enough.  The only way you can recover this is to try to correct that through a pro-active effort at open, honest communication, and the chances of you succeeding are very low at this point because she will not and cannot discuss it at work, and she is very unlikely to respond to any attempt to communicate outside of work.

Your only chance is to send her a text that says the right things to get you back on track, in my opinion.  Others may disagree.  But this is my assessment based on what I have read of your adventures.

I knew that she brought her sister cus she most likely didn't feel comfortable. Her twin was the one that always used to ask me what I was doing later.

I always told her what I was doing because I was interested in her sister.

I did fail. My friend from the Airforce came in and we ate at the restaurant and when I got there My crush was at the front desk but didn't acknowledge me. She then walked through the area by the kitchen out the other end and around behind where I waited for my friend but she went back the other way.

Another server told me both twins had just clocked out. So another server took me and my friend to a booth.

From that booth I could see the kitchen door. My crush stood there. I looked at her. She looked at me.

I expected her to come talk to me but she didn't.

She disappeared.

Her Twin on the other hand talked to me and I introduced her to my friend and she seemed like everything is normal.

I am sure now that my crush has something going on and it may or may not be me.

I never have gotten a reply from my crush in text. I only ever text her 3 times since April.

1st was so she'd have my number.

2nd was I asked her if she heard Taylor swift new album

3rd is when I'd asked her to a movie a few days ago.

I can agree I blew this. 

I am a terrible texter and I'm going to accept I failed.

It's best for me to just get another server and move on.

I've never tried to get with a restaurant server.

In hindsight I should have gone for the other twin though she has a boyfriend because at first she seemed more into me till my crush told her to quit trying to steal me.

I'm not saying both girls wanted me but it's a good possibility because of X4A-1511.

I will just request the other twin and just have her be my server. Move on with my life. Cus I definitely don't want to make anything worse.

I can ask my crush if I did something to make her feel uncomfortable but she's not gonna answer me.

So this is an example of what you're doing wrong.  Instead of trying to fix it, you're doom and gloom and running away.  Are you really that afraid of trying to communicate with her?  Is communication really this hard for you?  Making things worse is not very likely to matter at this point.  You're almost at the "worst".  Why wouldn't you try to make things better?  Communicate with her, dammit!

(06-23-2024, 09:20 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ][quote="Diablojack00" pid='264401' dateline='1719158724']

I knew that she brought her sister cus she most likely didn't feel comfortable. Her twin was the one that always used to ask me what I was doing later.

I always told her what I was doing because I was interested in her sister.

I did fail. My friend from the Airforce came in and we ate at the restaurant and when I got there My crush was at the front desk but didn't acknowledge me. She then walked through the area by the kitchen out the other end and around behind where I waited for my friend but she went back the other way.

Another server told me both twins had just clocked out. So another server took me and my friend to a booth.

From that booth I could see the kitchen door. My crush stood there. I looked at her. She looked at me.

I expected her to come talk to me but she didn't.

She disappeared.

Her Twin on the other hand talked to me and I introduced her to my friend and she seemed like everything is normal.

I am sure now that my crush has something going on and it may or may not be me.

I never have gotten a reply from my crush in text. I only ever text her 3 times since April.

1st was so she'd have my number.

2nd was I asked her if she heard Taylor swift new album

3rd is when I'd asked her to a movie a few days ago.

I can agree I blew this. 

I am a terrible texter and I'm going to accept I failed.

It's best for me to just get another server and move on.

I've never tried to get with a restaurant server.

In hindsight I should have gone for the other twin though she has a boyfriend because at first she seemed more into me till my crush told her to quit trying to steal me.

I'm not saying both girls wanted me but it's a good possibility because of X4A-1511.

I will just request the other twin and just have her be my server. Move on with my life. Cus I definitely don't want to make anything worse.

I can ask my crush if I did something to make her feel uncomfortable but she's not gonna answer me.

So this is an example of what you're doing wrong.  Instead of trying to fix it, you're doom and gloom and running away.  Are you really that afraid of trying to communicate with her?  Is communication really this hard for you?  Making things worse is not very likely to matter at this point.  You're almost at the "worst".  Why wouldn't you try to make things better?  Communicate with her, dammit!

Okay that did sound doom and gloom. I'm usually not like that.

I'm not afraid of talking to her.

I'll talk to her and see if things can be fixed.

(06-23-2024, 02:50 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-23-2024, 09:20 AM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ][quote="Diablojack00" pid='264401' dateline='1719158724']

I knew that she brought her sister cus she most likely didn't feel comfortable. Her twin was the one that always used to ask me what I was doing later.

I always told her what I was doing because I was interested in her sister.

I did fail. My friend from the Airforce came in and we ate at the restaurant and when I got there My crush was at the front desk but didn't acknowledge me. She then walked through the area by the kitchen out the other end and around behind where I waited for my friend but she went back the other way.

Another server told me both twins had just clocked out. So another server took me and my friend to a booth.

From that booth I could see the kitchen door. My crush stood there. I looked at her. She looked at me.

I expected her to come talk to me but she didn't.

She disappeared.

Her Twin on the other hand talked to me and I introduced her to my friend and she seemed like everything is normal.

I am sure now that my crush has something going on and it may or may not be me.

I never have gotten a reply from my crush in text. I only ever text her 3 times since April.

1st was so she'd have my number.

2nd was I asked her if she heard Taylor swift new album

3rd is when I'd asked her to a movie a few days ago.

I can agree I blew this. 

I am a terrible texter and I'm going to accept I failed.

It's best for me to just get another server and move on.

I've never tried to get with a restaurant server.

In hindsight I should have gone for the other twin though she has a boyfriend because at first she seemed more into me till my crush told her to quit trying to steal me.

I'm not saying both girls wanted me but it's a good possibility because of X4A-1511.

I will just request the other twin and just have her be my server. Move on with my life. Cus I definitely don't want to make anything worse.

I can ask my crush if I did something to make her feel uncomfortable but she's not gonna answer me.

So this is an example of what you're doing wrong.  Instead of trying to fix it, you're doom and gloom and running away.  Are you really that afraid of trying to communicate with her?  Is communication really this hard for you?  Making things worse is not very likely to matter at this point.  You're almost at the "worst".  Why wouldn't you try to make things better?  Communicate with her, dammit!

Okay that did sound doom and gloom. I'm usually not like that.

I'm not afraid of talking to her.

I'll talk to her and see if things can be fixed.

You need to understand what her point of view is and how it differs from yours.  She needs to understand your point of view.  Clear up whatever misunderstandings there are.

(06-23-2024, 07:24 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-23-2024, 02:50 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]So this is an example of what you're doing wrong.  Instead of trying to fix it, you're doom and gloom and running away.  Are you really that afraid of trying to communicate with her?  Is communication really this hard for you?  Making things worse is not very likely to matter at this point.  You're almost at the "worst".  Why wouldn't you try to make things better?  Communicate with her, dammit!

Okay that did sound doom and gloom. I'm usually not like that.

I'm not afraid of talking to her.

I'll talk to her and see if things can be fixed.

You need to understand what her point of view is and how it differs from yours.  She needs to understand your point of view.  Clear up whatever misunderstandings there are.

Alright. I will try this way which is really the best way.

I forgot to say that I ate at another restaurant today at a different restaurant.

I don't eat there as often as the one with the twins.

I have seen a server that is gorgeous to me. So she got close to me and I just asked her where's her section at. She said they don't really have sections but I can request a server. I asked will she be my server and she said Yeah, I'll be your server just pick a table and tell the hostess.

So that's what I did. She came to the table and she told her name and I told her mine. 

She was sweet and attentive much like the twins were at first.

She got pretty close to me most times she came to the table and she finessed the things on the table in front of me. She bent all the way over that table.

It was definitely intentional because she didn't have to do that at all. 

As I paid she popped up next to me out of freaking nowhere to tell me bye and I am sure she used my name. Not gonna lie it sorta caught me off guard.

I told her bye but used her name. And I went home.

(06-23-2024, 09:11 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-23-2024, 07:24 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]You need to understand what her point of view is and how it differs from yours.  She needs to understand your point of view.  Clear up whatever misunderstandings there are.

Alright. I will try this way which is really the best way.

I forgot to say that I ate at another restaurant today at a different restaurant.

I don't eat there as often as the one with the twins.

I have seen a server that is gorgeous to me. So she got close to me and I just asked her where's her section at. She said they don't really have sections but I can request a server. I asked will she be my server and she said Yeah, I'll be your server just pick a table and tell the hostess.

So that's what I did. She came to the table and she told her name and I told her mine. 

She was sweet and attentive much like the twins were at first.

She got pretty close to me most times she came to the table and she finessed the things on the table in front of me. She bent all the way over that table.

It was definitely intentional because she didn't have to do that at all. 

As I paid she popped up next to me out of freaking nowhere to tell me bye and I am sure she used my name. Not gonna lie it sorta caught me off guard.

I told her bye but used her name. And I went home.

I ate at the restaurant and my crush acted as normal as usual just assumed she was my server and I talked to her.

She was busy so we didn't talk much.

I said Hey I know you're busy but if I've done anything to make you feel uncomfortable you can talk to me about it. 

 she said No you're fine. I said Okay I wanted to be sure and she said that's okay.

She looked directly at me when she said that.

So even though I have X4A-1511 and I know the attraction is there there may not be anything else I can do right now. If there is then I can do my best to use your advice.

I think one issue is that it's hard dealing with twins in general. My crush knows I find her sister attractive but I treat her sister like a valuable human being.

I could be wrong but I'm open to advice.

I may just need to learn how to text her but I have looked at texting guides and they seem dumb.

(06-24-2024, 08:51 AM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-23-2024, 09:11 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]Alright. I will try this way which is really the best way.

I forgot to say that I ate at another restaurant today at a different restaurant.

I don't eat there as often as the one with the twins.

I have seen a server that is gorgeous to me. So she got close to me and I just asked her where's her section at. She said they don't really have sections but I can request a server. I asked will she be my server and she said Yeah, I'll be your server just pick a table and tell the hostess.

So that's what I did. She came to the table and she told her name and I told her mine. 

She was sweet and attentive much like the twins were at first.

She got pretty close to me most times she came to the table and she finessed the things on the table in front of me. She bent all the way over that table.

It was definitely intentional because she didn't have to do that at all. 

As I paid she popped up next to me out of freaking nowhere to tell me bye and I am sure she used my name. Not gonna lie it sorta caught me off guard.

I told her bye but used her name. And I went home.

I ate at the restaurant and my crush acted as normal as usual just assumed she was my server and I talked to her.

She was busy so we didn't talk much.

I said Hey I know you're busy but if I've done anything to make you feel uncomfortable you can talk to me about it. 

 she said No you're fine. I said Okay I wanted to be sure and she said that's okay.

She looked directly at me when she said that.

So even though I have X4A-1511 and I know the attraction is there there may not be anything else I can do right now. If there is then I can do my best to use your advice.

I think one issue is that it's hard dealing with twins in general. My crush knows I find her sister attractive but I treat her sister like a valuable human being.

I could be wrong but I'm open to advice.

I may just need to learn how to text her but I have looked at texting guides and they seem dumb.

If I were you, I would find a way to get her alone in person when she's not at work, and then sit her down and say something like, "So I think we may have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  I'd like to clear it up." Then ask her what her point of view is about your date, etc. and at the end explain yours if it differs.  Also, directly communicate to her that you do like her, and you are getting the impression that you may have done or said something that made her think otherwise... I can't hold your hand on everything here, this is just to give you an example.  But that's how you need to do this for it to really work.  And ask for brutal honesty so you can really understand where she's coming from.  That's what I would do, at least.

(06-24-2024, 01:42 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-24-2024, 08:51 AM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]I ate at the restaurant and my crush acted as normal as usual just assumed she was my server and I talked to her.

She was busy so we didn't talk much.

I said Hey I know you're busy but if I've done anything to make you feel uncomfortable you can talk to me about it. 

 she said No you're fine. I said Okay I wanted to be sure and she said that's okay.

She looked directly at me when she said that.

So even though I have X4A-1511 and I know the attraction is there there may not be anything else I can do right now. If there is then I can do my best to use your advice.

I think one issue is that it's hard dealing with twins in general. My crush knows I find her sister attractive but I treat her sister like a valuable human being.

I could be wrong but I'm open to advice.

I may just need to learn how to text her but I have looked at texting guides and they seem dumb.

If I were you, I would find a way to get her alone in person when she's not at work, and then sit her down and say something like, "So I think we may have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  I'd like to clear it up." Then ask her what her point of view is about your date, etc. and at the end explain yours if it differs.  Also, directly communicate to her that you do like her, and you are getting the impression that you may have done or said something that made her think otherwise... I can't hold your hand on everything here, this is just to give you an example.  But that's how you need to do this for it to really work.  And ask for brutal honesty so you can really understand where she's coming from.  That's what I would do, at least.

I agree with you. I wanted to say something like what you suggested. I just tried to punch through to the core of what I wanted to know.

Her answer didn't tell me too much aside from she said things are fine so that's better than the opposite.

I will invite her to pizza or the park and see what she says.

Also I gotta add a nice lookin server at the BBQ place rang me up and referred to me as baby. At least 4 different servers call me that.

I know it's a way most times to get tips but these girls wasn't my servers when calling me baby.

The server at the BBQ place the one that popped up outta nowhere and told me bye Rocky. I am definitely gonna pull the trigger inviting her out as soon as I get enough info about her.

(06-24-2024, 04:24 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-24-2024, 01:42 PM)Shannon Wrote: [ -> ]If I were you, I would find a way to get her alone in person when she's not at work, and then sit her down and say something like, "So I think we may have some sort of miscommunication or misunderstanding.  I'd like to clear it up." Then ask her what her point of view is about your date, etc. and at the end explain yours if it differs.  Also, directly communicate to her that you do like her, and you are getting the impression that you may have done or said something that made her think otherwise... I can't hold your hand on everything here, this is just to give you an example.  But that's how you need to do this for it to really work.  And ask for brutal honesty so you can really understand where she's coming from.  That's what I would do, at least.

I agree with you. I wanted to say something like what you suggested. I just tried to punch through to the core of what I wanted to know.

Her answer didn't tell me too much aside from she said things are fine so that's better than the opposite.

I will invite her to pizza or the park and see what she says.

Also I gotta add a nice lookin server at the BBQ place rang me up and referred to me as baby. At least 4 different servers call me that.

I know it's a way most times to get tips but these girls wasn't my servers when calling me baby.

The server at the BBQ place the one that popped up outta nowhere and told me bye Rocky. I am definitely gonna pull the trigger inviting her out as soon as I get enough info about her.

To chime in: I have worked in restaurants as server.

If she’s said it’s okay, I would suggest to just leave it as is. Don’t ask her out again. Don’t do another check in either.

The next thing, you shot your shot with one server.
Keep your image kosher, don’t ask another.

Be chill, be social. If they get to see you, and you’ve been cool with no agenda, vibe with them.

Let them cross that line of hanging out.

(06-24-2024, 05:02 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-24-2024, 04:24 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]I agree with you. I wanted to say something like what you suggested. I just tried to punch through to the core of what I wanted to know.

Her answer didn't tell me too much aside from she said things are fine so that's better than the opposite.

I will invite her to pizza or the park and see what she says.

Also I gotta add a nice lookin server at the BBQ place rang me up and referred to me as baby. At least 4 different servers call me that.

I know it's a way most times to get tips but these girls wasn't my servers when calling me baby.

The server at the BBQ place the one that popped up outta nowhere and told me bye Rocky. I am definitely gonna pull the trigger inviting her out as soon as I get enough info about her.

To chime in: I have worked in restaurants as server.

If she’s said it’s okay, I would suggest to just leave it as is. Don’t ask her out again. Don’t do another check in either.

The next thing, you shot your shot with one server.
Keep your image kosher, don’t ask another.

Be chill, be social. If they get to see you, and you’ve been cool with no agenda, vibe with them.

Let them cross that line of hanging out.

The other server is at a different restaurant than the twins.

I agree that just being chill and social is all There is to do until I can figure a way to get my crush alone so I can talk to her as Shannon suggested.

Something will present itself sooner or later on that.

I would opt to not get her alone, let it be as is.
If she talks, you talk & unless the energy between you changes to allow that subject to broached. She’s gonna feel corralled & will get creeped out. Because she’ll view it as you being intense. Stay airy & light.
Female servers will talk & it can turn against your favor. 
I’m persistent because I have seen similar situations as a male server.

(06-24-2024, 05:31 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-24-2024, 05:02 PM)Darkness Wrote: [ -> ]To chime in: I have worked in restaurants as server.

If she’s said it’s okay, I would suggest to just leave it as is. Don’t ask her out again. Don’t do another check in either.

The next thing, you shot your shot with one server.
Keep your image kosher, don’t ask another.

Be chill, be social. If they get to see you, and you’ve been cool with no agenda, vibe with them.

Let them cross that line of hanging out.

The other server is at a different restaurant than the twins.

I agree that just being chill and social is all There is to do until I can figure a way to get my crush alone so I can talk to her as Shannon suggested.

Something will present itself sooner or later on that.

Not sure if it benefits you to talk about her as "your crush". I believe that may create the frame for yourself that cause oneitis, which may further make it harder to keep it relaxed and cool. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

(06-25-2024, 01:43 AM)Johannesbrst Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-24-2024, 05:31 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]The other server is at a different restaurant than the twins.

I agree that just being chill and social is all There is to do until I can figure a way to get my crush alone so I can talk to her as Shannon suggested.

Something will present itself sooner or later on that.

Not sure if it benefits you to talk about her as "your crush". I believe that may create the frame for yourself that cause oneitis, which may further make it harder to keep it relaxed and cool. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

You may have a point there. I just don't wanna use her name. I feel odd using my name on here but I have.

(06-25-2024, 07:07 AM)Diablojack00 Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-25-2024, 01:43 AM)Johannesbrst Wrote: [ -> ]Not sure if it benefits you to talk about her as "your crush". I believe that may create the frame for yourself that cause oneitis, which may further make it harder to keep it relaxed and cool. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

You may have a point there. I just don't wanna use her name. I feel odd using my name on here but I have.

I wasn't going to eat there today but my other restaurant was jam packed with a bluegrass convention.

The server I refer to as my crush is back to being her conversational self as usual.

I don't think I'll be asking her to hang out right now though.

I told her that I was gonna introduce her to my friend Saturday but she seemed like she was ready to leave and she said Yeah she got cut early so had to leave.

I told her her sister got to meet him and she said well tell him I'm similar her.

I still am going to talk with her when I can get her alone outside of work.

Also x4a 2000 sounds awesome and I'm considering getting it but that depends on what the "don't buy this list says"