Something I've realized today is that for a long time, I've always found it difficult to say No to people, to refuse them. To say "No ,thank you", or "No, I don't want to do this". This is all coming from the people pleasing syndrome. I've made great progress on this front.
At first, I could not say no, then I could say it, but would get very anxious that the person will get upset, or will say bad words to be back.
And now, I am much more assertive in expressing my desires, but it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
I noticed this progress in the last 2 years or so.
My mood has been better lately. Looking forward to the good things happening in my life right now.
Feeling better overall, I am glad I chose to run AM6. Nearing the end of Stage 5 now, looking forward to Stage 6.
I have this regret, this melancholy over missing out on my teenage years and early 20s. I didn’t have success with the girls at that age, and it still hurts me a bit, I don’t know why. And it is pulling me into a depressing mindset.
I did eventually reach the success I desired with women, so logically I shouldn’t be affected anymore.
Started Stage 6 last night.
I realised I have difficulties expressing empathy for others. It’s not something that comes easy to me, and I tend to not realise how other people or my girlfriend feel like I don’t care or have a cold attitude.
I think my capacity for empathy has been damaged. Possibly emotional roots.
Great journal! AM6 is quite an experience. I hope you'll find that stage 6 is smooth and ties everything together for you. Looking forward to your stage 6 reports and conclusions.
Sometimes, I miss my father so much. He passed away when I was 22. The pain of his death has not healed, to be honest with myself. I wish he could see me and be happy for me, what I've achieved so far, how much I've progressed, and that I've become stronger.
(12-02-2022, 10:25 AM)Steve_ Wrote: [ -> ]Great journal! AM6 is quite an experience. I hope you'll find that stage 6 is smooth and ties everything together for you. Looking forward to your stage 6 reports and conclusions.
Thank you!
Overall feeling that I have more control over my life, much less dominated by fears.
The end of the year will also mark the end of my AM6 run. For my next sub, the candidates are: OF4, LTU6, E5, UH.
(12-17-2022, 07:12 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]The end of the year will also mark the end of my AM6 run. For my next sub, the candidates are: OF4, LTU6, E5, UH.
That's awesome! Will you write a review? I think AM6 is going to be my next sub.
I’ve often been dissatisfied about not getting more obvious effects/ results from the subs I was using, but now, looking back at the last 1.5 years of my life, it really puts it into perspective that several good things have been happening in my life. OF3, AM6, UMS2 have all had a positive influence, even if day by day, it felt like nothing was happening.
It’s likely not a coincidence that I’ve become more lucky.
Financially, it has gotten better and better. I’ve made bolder decisions that payed off.
I’ve also learned a lot from my relationship.
Excited about the future, knowing that I will have the support of IML subs guiding/ carrying me to success and happiness.
A lot of emotional pain coming to the surface. My relationship going through a very difficult phase, I've lost some confidence, and I generally can't seem to make myself happier/ be happy in this life.
I have 80% decided on my next sub choice, it will likely be E5/ EPRHA5.