I am currently in the process of learning from a Dating/Attraction & Life Coach who focuses on inner game & learning how to express your self & become grounded & able to express yourself sexually with women.
He's really great at what he does, he has taught me a little in the past, but I never paid for training yet, He has his own company and he also works with the company "The Attractive Man"
So 1 on 1 mentoring / coaching I already have someone for now, but I will definitely be looking into other trainers as well because the more value I can offer my clients the better.
(08-09-2021, 01:29 PM)tolgaocal80 Wrote: [ -> ] (08-09-2021, 12:37 PM)Raykon Wrote: [ -> ]Had another female message me randomly on Facebook, Someone I never met in person but had briefly spoke to on social media once a year & half ago.
Been doing allot of introspection today & focusing on the direction I want to take my life, & finding balance with the different aspects of my life, like my music, gym, business, social life. Ect.
I'm writing a book now too, not sure if I told you guys, & starting a Youtube Channel, I have 1 page written so far, a rough draft, going to re analyze it & re write it, going to spend the next 6 months - year on this book, make sure the content I put out is of value & worthy of being published.
It's going to help me market my Dating/Attraction & Life Coaching Business. I'm excited about it.
hey Raykon it is really good to see your doing your thing,
I am also want to start a YouTube channel not now but definitly gonna do this. Share with us, youtube channel really helps if it is get known by a lot people, free advertising.
would you say, now you got that "drive" for life? you know passion for growing, creating, living?
Oh & I DEF have a passion for creating now, eveyrthing from the way I design my room, the words I choose to use, I even painted a mural *work in progress" Of Princess Peach & Kirby, on my bathroom wall because I didn't like the energy and blankness of my wall. It's beautiful. It's a sketch so far haven't started painting.
but yes "creating" or Creative is the right word. I think its from TID from NSLW making me creative, I've always been creative though, all humans are creative, some people are just more in touch with it, and don't set limiting beliefs upon themselves.
A key to being creative is realizing you already are creative, we are ALL creative beings. but TID & OF have helped increase my ability to access deeper levels of creativity & imagination. But I have done some very exceptional creative thing's in the past, without subliminas,
One time when I was 18 I drew a portrait of Anderson Cooper that looked 100 percent identical, I didn't know that I could draw, that was my first time I showed to myself that I have the ability to draw very well.
I was very proud of it I wish I still had it.
Today was the most one of the most if not most significant days of my life, I don't know where to begin.
I just about finished a song I've been working on for the last 2 weeks, at about 2 30 in the morning, I decided to trek to a different city within our community Called Port Moody, with my two dogs. A German Shepherd & Pitbull/Presa Canario, One on each hand..
There is backstory to all this., I was in a toxic relationship for two years, & I lived on this street called "St Johns" where the police station is, the place where the undercover cops would park there cars was right across from my apartment so I would see them arrest people all the time when I lived in that apartment.
Anyways, there was an incident one day where my toxic crazy ex gf wouldn't let me leave my house, & when I was trying to escape through the door & she was trying her hardest to keep me trapped in, her hand accidently got injured a little bump. & the police ended up giving me a no contact order, meaning that me & her no were no longer legally allowed to contact each other.
This was crazy because we both loved eachother & she had no where else to go, so this led to us having to avoid the police all the time & basically living like were in hiding, there were many times where I had to put her in the trunk of my car just to enter our apartment.
I went to jail 8 times in a span of 4-5 months because of this stupid LAW, it came to the point where I developed a relationship with the police officers & they got to know me & realized that I wasn't the fucked up abusive person they thought I was. the 8th or 9th time they caught us they let us go without arresting me because they finally realized the damage & abuse they were doing to me & how stupid the law is in this situation. They were abusing me.
so I've had allot of fear & trauma because of the police, specifically Port Moody Police, I decided to do a hour long trek there, & hour long trek back, into that city where the cops always roam at night, there is only one street so it's easy for them to catch people or pull people over.
I walked down that road, first thing I see as I was entering the city ironically, was a undercover cop, so I knew that I had been spotted, and they all know me, it's a small police department, so the word got out. I had made it my intention to try & have an encounter with the police, so that I can make a statement, I guess a form of rebellion & expression, showing that I'm not the same person that I was before & showing how free I truly am, now, before I was dodging & hiding from them, now I was trying to get them to pull me over intentionally.
I wasn't going to be rude or anything, I just wanted to have a discussion with them, let them know how I'm doing, & let them know that they abused me without making them feel guilty for it.
anyways, as I'm walking down this long road, I end up at the Police Station, I sit on the bench, with my two big intimidating, sexy dogs that they know very well, when I was getting arrested my Presa was a little puppy, they would have to go give the dog to my mom.
I knew they knew that I was there, I ended up walking all the way to the place that the undercover cop would always wait in front of my old apartment, & when I got there , their was a japanese tuner undercover cop, with a Ar15 Assault Rifle, beside him, I stood near the police officer, looking right at him trying to get his attention with my stare, he wouldn't look away from his phone, he wouldn't look at me.
It was kind of annoying, because I wanted to overcome my fears & have this climatic ending to the story like I had envisioned.
so I ended up walking back , again walking on the middle of the road, (it's 3 30 am almost no cars), & keep swiitching from one side of the road to the other arrogantly, trying to get them to pull me over finally, I had even waved at a cop I saw driving by a few min earlier,
then as I walking, a Port Moody Cop Car drives by, & it's one of the ones that's I remember & knows me, I look at him, & wave, he waved back at me.
as he was driving by, I made this gesture like "come on stop me "
anyways I ended up walking home no problems, I guess they did a quick Facebook Search & realized I've change & that I'm not a criminal anymore. (my FB is "ILI YA" btw.
It was a life changing experience for me, because of all the trauma I went through because of them, & I have no hate towards them, I actually like most of them, I got to know them too & they are all nice people, they were good to me. I had a couple incidents where I raged at them before, but usually I was very respectful & polite with them so they realized I'm a good guy & liked me too.
then when I got home I got horny, & wanted to connect with a woman, so I decided to go on Chaturbate, & find a beautiful Colombian, I found a mature woman age 26-33 10/10. We had cyber sex, & sexted for 30 minutes. She had a vibrator thing on that whenever I gave a tip it would make her orgasm, I was sexting her while making her orgasm, & we made plans to meet up one day, I told her I'm going to come meet her in person & fuck her, & that it's going to be the best sex she's ever had. she said, we can travel Colombia together, I agreed, I have her on my Snapchat & other Social Media now & I am going to manifest it so that I go back in 1-2 months & have sex with her & she can help me market my business as well.
Today was PROFOUND <3 Thank you Shannon. Thank you Universe. <3
$1000 dollars got deposited into my bank account, & it doesn't say from where or from who, it's as if there was no sender.
I AM BEYOND SHOCKED. WTF! I am so grateful
ALSO I met a new girlfriend in Colombia we just video chatted for 30 minutes we are going to meet up soon, I am manifesting that I am back in Medellin by 1 month.
Unfortunately the Colombiana I just met turned out to be bat shit crazy. Glad I found that out sooner then later.
Also feeling super lonely, I'm losing friends, my success in rap & starting this dating/attraction company is making people think of me in a diff way, & for some reason not treating me normal like before.
Some people really love me or they are intimidated, or jealous or something like that.
It sucks! life has been changing so rapidly, don't know what to think anymore..
I think that crazy chicks negative energy managed to get past the DRS. I think that's why I'm feeling so negative right now.
But everything I said about being lonely remains true. But I am starting to feel a little better once I realized it wasn't my emotions I'm holding on too.
One of my biggest difficulties I'm finding now in life, is that I've become Polyamorous since using OF v3.
I feel love for multiple people at the same time, this is not normal for me, I am usually a 1 woman type guy, maybe it's because I'm about to blow up or something but yeah I feel allot of love for allot of people right now.
And I am having a hard time managing it, One minute, I want to be with her, the next with her, & I am being honest & telling them all how I feel, & such, they don't take it well.
Hung out with some childhood friends of mine, got invited to food, & then drank at the top of a mountain, Had a good time. Was a much needed day of socializing <3
Also I've been texting & connecting with this women I met on Snapchat, she randomly added me a few days ago, we've been talking. Seem to have nice chemistry, told her I'm going to Video chat her soon, told her I felt like we can connect better that way, & that I prefer to talk to her face to face.
She's cool. I'm banned from the states tho so I don't know if anything will come out of it other then a good friendship, I'm mentoring her too helping her with her issues, she went through some of the things I went through in life, that's one of the ways were connecting. Also I'm taking a break from substances I feel like I need to stay grounded for a bit.
I feel very grounded right now, & allot of the things I learned in the last few weeks have come full circle.
I'm at a good place right now, excited & motivated.
Something I noticed today when I was out with my friends, we picked up a women (my friends friend) we were going to go drink together at our friends house.
I noticed that her & my other friend who were drunk, were oozing insecurities, like they felt the need to act a certain way, it felt really weird. Like I never noticed other peoples insecurities as much as I do now.
It's trippy. It feels like now that I'm no longer insecure, I notice how insecure everyone else is.
Not everyone however, some people are normal or confident, but people who are very insecure, it's increasingly noticeable now.
I also noticed today that having less fear causes some strange reactions from other men, I asked these two guys where the liquor store was & for the first time in my life I got a very negative response back from them, they were drunk but usually I get positive responses. It's like me being fearless, made them think of me as a threat.
I didn't end up going to party with them afterwards, I felt like the people there were too low on the vibrational frequency scale, & that I wouldn't have had a good time. or had been able to have good conversation.
I wrote my first post the other day, for my new business I've started "The Imperfect Man"
Society loves to judge or be critical of others who don't live the typical lifestyle, for example, getting married before a certain age, or owning a house, owning a nice car, being in a monogamous relationship.
In my opinion trying to live up to other people's expectations on how you should live your life, making decisions about your own life because you are trying to please or are afraid of disappointing your parents or friends is a recipe for disaster.
Follow YOUR heart, set goals & do what YOU want to do in life.
If you want to be polyamorous, do it!
If you are going to school, because you're afraid to upset your parents, you're making a big mistake. But if you are passionate & love school, then definitely go to school!
These are just some examples, but I find that allot of people make allot of their decisions to please others, & they end up unhappy as a result or living a life that is not their dream life.
You don't need to know exactly what to do, or how it's going to unfold in order to get started on achieving your dreams.
I love when people doubt me now, & I really don't care if I fail, failing at something just means that your trying new things, learning, & growing as an individual. I'm afraid to NOT fail.
And I don't want to live a normal life. be the weird person that you are, don't diminish your light because of other people's insecurities or fears.
Your parent's, love you, & your friends love you, that's one of the reasons they want you to do certain things, because they are afraid that you will fail & they want what's best for you.
but in reality, following your heart, & doing what you love in life, breaking out of your comfort zones, is the best way to grow & become "successful" & happy in life.
Money is a side effect of providing value to someone, as a product, or information. & if you do what you love you will eventually become really good at something, because you need to LOVE what you do, in order to spend enough time to become an expert at it.
There is nothing wrong with working for other people if that's what you love or enjoy. Not everyone wants to be an entrepreneur or business man/woman.
Just make sure it's what you love to do ❤
Random thoughts of the day ?
Wrote another post today,
Vulnerability is the most beautiful thing about us, it's what makes us human, to allow yourself to be vulnerable, means your strong enough to put your heart out, knowing very well, it might get ripped into pieces.
It takes allot of courage & strength to be vulnerable & it allows you to feel more emotion, be more human.
It's easy to hide your true emotions, or be afraid to express them.
A strong man is not afraid to cry at times, men have moments of weakness too, & do you really want to be with a partner whos attraction for you fluctuates or diminishes if you show emotion?
You deserve then better that, you want to be with someone you loves you, when your strong, when your having a weak moment, or whenever.
The more vulnerable you become in life & in relationships, the more you open up yourself to potential hurt & pain, but you also open yourself up to more pleasure & a wider range of human emotions & experiences & potential for deeper connections.
Find the person that loves you whether you cry or not. The right person for you, that loves you for who you are, will not judge you or look down on you for expressing emotions.
Deactivated my FB & restricted access to it using an APP, Taking an extended social media break. Also back on the No Fap / No Porn, When I was in Colombia I fapped, but did No Porn for about 4 months.
Starting to realize how some people in my life are extremely manipulative & the patterns of taking advantage of me in the past. Going to cut these people out of my life once & for all.
I noticed some of my friends have ulterior motives & are doing things in an almost sociopathic way to gain something.
I also recognize which friends of mine are real.
Focusing on the gym heavily for the next little while, taking a break from AL substances & alcohol.
Not going to focus on dating, I have one women here in Vancouver who wants to go on a date with me, been talking a while, & another one who wants too as well. I don't feel like going out with them right now.
I felt like I had allot of strong desire for woman the last little while & I am working on eliminating the desire & need for woman. Basically focusing on self love, & focusing on myself.
I will get back into dating when I feel like it.
There is one person that I do want to date right now, my ex gf in Colombia but we got into a fight & it seems as tho our relationship may be over for the meantime.
Us breaking up was one of the things that sparked this desire to focus entirely on myself. I was only upset for a few hours, Now I feel fine with the break up, I am disappointed & I think about her sometimes but I am not feeling like my heart is broken or anything like that, I feel fine. 0.5/10 upset,
I am upset but I don't FEEL upset. I barely feel any pain. 0.5 /10
Decided to eliminate sugar from my diet, to see how it affects my mind. I've heard that sugar is bad for anxiety, also because I want to get abs this time around. I never had a real 6 pack, I want to try & reach a place in my bodybuilding / physique that I've never reached before.
In Colombia I had become bigger then I ever have, but still never had abs. So this time around I'm going to work on my abs more & my legs. Do the exercises that I didn't like to do.
I've tried quitting sugar before , but it didn't last long, & I was in Colombia at the time so my excuse was that I don't want to deprive myself of cool drinks & stuff while I'm on vacation.
Woke up in the middle of the night, 4 am, Had lots of intense dreams, one of them I was confronting some douche bag I met the other night, who got jealous of me & hated me, He came up to fight me in the dream & I just stood there confidently.
I had some other dreams that were chaotic & intense, definitely me overcoming my fears.
I couldn't get back to sleep, I think my brain is working on some fears.
I also am looking at tickets to Medellin Colombia & I think I will be able to go there for early September, going to go for 2 months or so.
I think that's what is going to happen.