Day 72, I think I'm passed my mental breakdown. I went out and got really drunk last night and feel better. I don't think I will run ASC any more and go back to using the program as intended. I just hope I get my vibe back soon.
(09-24-2021, 01:41 AM)Johannesbrst Wrote: [ -> ] (08-24-2021, 10:24 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]I too have been put in the friend zone in the past a few times. Not anymore. If you allow, here is my opinion on it. Essentially this happens because you have bought in into the societal conditioning that women need an emotional connection first, and because of not treating them as sexual beings.
Once I became more comfortable with my sexuality and expressing my desire on a man-to-woman / sexual level, I never got put in the friend-zone again.
To never be put in the friend-zone, you must be comfortable in treating women as sexual beings.
This does not necessarily mean be very direct or very sexual in your behavior with her. It means that you embrace yours and her sexuality as a part of your and her persona.
Also remember to not become overly emotionally attached or catch feelings early on. Women get attached much more slowly than men. This is why they get turned off when a guy gets too clingy and lovey-dovey in the first few weeks of dating.
Also remember that if you withdraw her attention and she reaches out, it's likely not because she's had a change of heart and realized she wants you. She wants your attention, your validation. She waits you to remain her "beta orbiter".
This post is truly golden, I've come back to read it multiple times now.
I keep rereading it too, I probably should every day.
(09-24-2021, 03:23 AM)Yous Wrote: [ -> ] (09-22-2021, 02:50 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 64, more interesting things happening with my dreams. The waking up and not really being able to go back into a deep sleep but more of a daydream has had a slight twist. Recently I have started going slightly deeper during this time of the sleep cycle to the point that I’m actually dreaming but realize that I’m in a dream world. When I realize that I’m dreaming the world starts to fade away like a video game that the level dissolves into little blocks when you complete a level. However, I can make the conscious choice not to wake up but to keep dreaming. I had some pretty interesting lucid dreams two nights ago. They were almost like training for my mind and my goals. Just the concentration alone to choose not to wake up stay in my dream and control everything seemed to take a lot of mind power at the time. These daydreams that are now turning into deeper lucid dreams seem to only happen on nights that I didn’t listen to the sub. I did a loop yesterday so they didn’t happen last night. It seems to happen during off days almost like fear is regenerating or being worked on or both. This seems like it could be part of the awakening process that is described in the OF product page.
Another interesting thing that is happening seems to be in regards to my relationship with money. I’ve always had a deep desire to build and accumulate wealth. I’ve read a lot of books and watched a lot of videos on this subject. One of the first of many that inspired me was the classic “Richest Man in Babylon”. This is a very simple and basic financial book but it focuses on the key idea that you should always be saving a percentage of your income and using it to generate additional wealth. This idea led me to create a spreadsheet that I update every two weeks that shows how much I spent versus how much I make plus any changes in value for my investments accounts, home value, etc. during a pay period. The idea that each two-week period the change should always be positive with the exception of market crashes that sometimes effect my investments. It is very rare that I have a negative two-week period that is a result of my own spending. However, the current period is because I spend a lot more money than normal. This would normally make me feel a sense of great loss or frustration but it didn’t seem to affect me at all, I was like I have the money. This could be seen as a good or bad thing but it has lead me to understand that a lot of my money making decision even if they are good still center around fear or lack. This may be changing. I was laying in bed last night thinking that I feel stagnant and I deserve to be making $10,000 per week instead of $1,000 but not sure how I’m going to do this yet.
Finally, I still seem to be seeing improvements in the lowest area of my life which would be my current love and sex life. I have up and down days but generally I’m feeling much better about my self and more open with women. Fear has been a huge component of my frustration in this area. I seem to be getting a lot more attention and interest lately and it feels good.
Take a look to RTboss journal. You will find information about how improving your financial situation, and more if you usually save money.
Thanks, I will check it out when I get a chance.
(09-29-2021, 02:19 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 71, I'm in a really bad place. My Betaness is at an all time high. I'm getting friend zoned constantly and I get mad temporarily then relieved that no one is testing me and I won't fail now. I've never felt like this before. I want to have sex but I don't feel right at all. This sub is doing something to me. I'm even taking testosterone boasting herbs to try to find any slight sense of masculinity right now. The farther I get into this sub run and the farther I get away from running ASC the less positive experiences I have with Women. I had sex once but I think it was mainly because of the alcohol. She told me last night that she just isn't sexually attracted to me but was the first time she met me. Then said I was never the same person sense the first day she met me. Guess what I was running ASC then. I've been waiting on the updated ASC for several years now. I listened to one loop of it last night and one this morning first thing. I don't intend to stop using OF either. I realize this is in violation of the policy and wont expect a refund. I have never asked for one on any sub. I always assume if one doesn't work I did something wrong or wasn't ready (most have for me to some degree).
I feel you about the "getting friend-zoned part". I've had several cases in the past where I was either put in the friendzone or the girls would simply not feel any form of attraction towards me.
One time I had oneitis for a girl for over a year. She was occupying my thoughts, I put my life on hold and became depressed because of her. I put her on a pedestal and viewed her as above me.
And this hurts pretty badly. The reason it hurts that bad because it is literally an affront on your self-esteem and self worth as a man. To have a woman tell you that you are not good enough for her, that she doesn't feel attracted to you.
What I realized was this was caused 100% by my behavior. Once you truly get this, you reach a place of power.
Once you realize that a behavior switch is the difference between friend-zoned / unlovable and women giving themselves to you, you are close to changing everything.
Up until March 2021, I've only been with 2 women, sexually. Since having this behavior switch, I've now been with 13 women and have plenty of options.
In my observations, guys / men that get with girls often simply exude more masculine energy than those that do not. That is, they are leading, decisive, and comfortable being sexual with a girl.
In contrast with guys that play it safe, that don't know how to lead, that have anxiety showing in their voice and behavior...
I can't imagine what will it be like after completing OFv3 and a run of AM6.
(10-01-2021, 05:21 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ] (09-29-2021, 02:19 AM)Tao374 Wrote: [ -> ]Day 71, I'm in a really bad place. My Betaness is at an all time high. I'm getting friend zoned constantly and I get mad temporarily then relieved that no one is testing me and I won't fail now. I've never felt like this before. I want to have sex but I don't feel right at all. This sub is doing something to me. I'm even taking testosterone boasting herbs to try to find any slight sense of masculinity right now. The farther I get into this sub run and the farther I get away from running ASC the less positive experiences I have with Women. I had sex once but I think it was mainly because of the alcohol. She told me last night that she just isn't sexually attracted to me but was the first time she met me. Then said I was never the same person sense the first day she met me. Guess what I was running ASC then. I've been waiting on the updated ASC for several years now. I listened to one loop of it last night and one this morning first thing. I don't intend to stop using OF either. I realize this is in violation of the policy and wont expect a refund. I have never asked for one on any sub. I always assume if one doesn't work I did something wrong or wasn't ready (most have for me to some degree).
I feel you about the "getting friend-zoned part". I've had several cases in the past where I was either put in the friendzone or the girls would simply not feel any form of attraction towards me.
One time I had oneitis for a girl for over a year. She was occupying my thoughts, I put my life on hold and became depressed because of her. I put her on a pedestal and viewed her as above me.
And this hurts pretty badly. The reason it hurts that bad because it is literally an affront on your self-esteem and self worth as a man. To have a woman tell you that you are not good enough for her, that she doesn't feel attracted to you.
What I realized was this was caused 100% by my behavior. Once you truly get this, you reach a place of power. Once you realize that a behavior switch is the difference between friend-zoned / unlovable and women giving themselves to you, you are close to changing everything.
Up until March 2021, I've only been with 2 women, sexually. Since having this behavior switch, I've now been with 13 women and have plenty of options.
In my observations, guys / men that get with girls often simply exude more masculine energy than those that do not. That is, they are leading, decisive, and comfortable being sexual with a girl.
In contrast with guys that play it safe, that don't know how to lead, that have anxiety showing in their voice and behavior...
I can't imagine what will it be like after completing OFv3 and a run of AM6.
I can relate to everything you are saying, that bad feeling has happened to me one too many times in my life. Also, that is an incredible turnaround and is inspirational. 11 new ones sense March is pretty impressive, I think I will be reviewing your journals. I've have had sex with a lot of different women in my life time, I'm not really sure the exact number. However, I still find a way to get myself caught up in situations like this were I feel isolated and not performing at my potential confidence level. Most of the women I have hooked up with were the result of nights out drinking. When I drink I often shift into the right mind set and it happens so naturally and it is fun. However, these same women usually find me less interesting as I loose that mind set. I'm hoping OF will help me do this without alcohol, especially sense I'm doing sober October right now. I really want to find that vibe/place were things just happen and be able to do it at will instead of just feeling like I get lucky.
Day 76, feeling much better now about myself and the usage of OF. My last two on days I did two loops each day. This is the first time I did two loops on back-to-back days. I might do three next time as I feel like I'm pushing through resistance a bid. As I mentioned before I'm doing sober October right now and it is a really good thing for me. I had been binge drinking too much. This is off to a good start for me. I'm spending more time working out, reading, and hanging out with friends sober.
I find myself constantly reflecting on the time period that I have been running OF. I often scroll back though my Facebook timeline for the last 2+ months just to review/reflect on the things I’ve done and the shifts I have begun to have. I’ve been eating healthier and started juicing. I’ve been reading books pretty much every day, sometime even rereading the same ones to get more out of it. I’m exercising almost every day as well. I’m went from exercising once a week or so to almost every day and I’m running miles at a pace of about 7:40 minutes. The scale says I've lost about 7 pounds but I've probably lost more fat than that as I've gained some muscle weight. Also, I see I just post much more positive posts and pictures of myself when reviewing my Facebook. It is kind of inspiration to keep going.
About some of my more depressive posts lately, I seem to be having some sexual fear removed. I seem to be becoming more sexually aware. I’m picking up on sexual energy from both woman in men. It’s like I’m starting to wake up to what is going on in my environment. I feel like I had a big awakening moment when I was out eating dinner with friends last night after working out. I believe I may have had an irrational blockage in my masculine energy. I’ve associated masculine energy with anger and not with happiness. I had this epiphany moment where I realized that I could be masculine and happy at the same time. It was like my heart energy and sexual energy stopped fighting against each other and connected. This is kind of the feeling I was describing in my response to Greek above when things just start to happen naturally. I believe there are a lot of reasons for this blockage that have accumulated over my lifetime and I may elaborate more on it as I continue to reflect. Hopefully the blockage continues to further dissolve so I can get on with my life. Either way I felt absolutely fantastic last night and was laying in bed at the end of the day like a woman would be a fool not to want to be with me right now.
Day 77, I started waking up in the middle of the night again feeling restless last night. I decided to listen to an ultrasonic loop while I was awake. I wasn't able to go back to sleep until after it was over. I intend to push though whatever is going on with me right now. I'm going to up my usage this weekend and do more loops than I have been doing probably 6 loops in 2 days.
Also, I continue to notice that I just look and feel better when I see myself in the mirror since starting OF. The feeling isn't as in your face noticeable as when I have used ASC but it still there just a little more subtle. I need OF right now I think but I also can't wait to run something a little more aggressive feeling in the future like ASC, DMSI or AM.
Day 79, still having issues waking up in the middle of the night. I used to be a really sound sleeper. Going to push though this weekend with lots of exposure. I just saw the awesome news about DMSI coming in the near future. I've been waiting for this sub for a long time and don't think I will be able to avoid the temptation of switching at some point. This area of my life seems to be my weakest at this point. I constantly have depressing/negative thoughts running through my head about my lack of sexual and social value. I think I can have a breakthrough with the new tech and get back on track.
No way to sugar coat it. Between running E4 then OF V3 recently I just feel too yin for too long. I'm not going to run the new DMSI either. Not looking for a quick fix. I need the whole thing right now, confidence, motivation, drive, self image, etc. I've stopped to run AM V6. Not the refresher either. I'm running stage 1 right now. I need the whole experience over again.
I recently cleaned out a lot of my old iCloud photos to free up space. It gave me a chance to reflect on different periods of my life over the last decade or so. It is very clear how much I have regressed sense originally running AM in 2015-2016. Not sure if I will be journaling much from here but I need this.
How long were you on OFv3?
(10-19-2021, 10:13 AM)GreekGod22 Wrote: [ -> ]How long were you on OFv3?
89 Days